Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[jane27]

Pepper, I'm glad the funeral and gathering were aligned with the spirit of your MIL, and that it was a source of comfort for you and your family. Its clear she was a special and well loved person.

Lil, the same goes for your grandma. It makes me feel good that she made you feel loved and important- you are.

Pav, what happens next? How are the kids doing, how are you guys as a family doing?

Wishing everyone a good MAE. Pep, the shark was 24-30 inches long. Kind of scary to think about!

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Thanks for the well wishes. My one kid is scared - we're slowly telling people around us so I think he'll get support. I'll let you know what happens next...

Jane - is that an old soda can pull tab in the sand below the mouth of that shark? That is sad to me that they killed it just like that. I know a lot of surfers, and they respect sharks but don't fear them. A good attitude, i guess.

Pepper- glad that AHP didn't show up. That cabin sounds very peaceful. I'm glad you had a good send off.

Dot - that ride along sounds cool. Sorry about your dreams - dreams shake me up, especially ones like that.

Good night all. Very tired, but we had a great day with family on the water (even though it has been very cold here this spring, I don't mind bundling up at the beach).

xo
Pav

[little beagle]

Quick check in here. Tuesday morning. Back to work. No regrets, but wishing I could rest for another day.

[narilly]

Hi gals, I have been a bit busy lately. Planting and working my last few days. I am done work tomorrow, we will see if I get another job soon. I won't mind a month off or so but then it gets scary after that. My hubby still is not working. ugh...

Ava, too bad about the curry. I hate it when that happens. You spend so much money on good meat and then the anticipation of the meal is so great but then the meat is tough. A cheaper cut probably would have been better. I guess we all go through that.

Poor Sharky, I feel sorry for dead animals like that. So senseless.

Pepper, your MIL's funeral sounds like it was good. That is nice spending time at the cabin with the family and no electronics. How awesome. Such great bonding time.
Lil B, so glad you have no regrets, sorry about your gma.

Pav, you are doing great. One day at a time right?

Dot, that ride sounds super cool, how exciting! I would love to do that.


I am going to Vancouver on Thursday and so might be MIA for that. I will try and check in as much as I can because I need to make sure I stay sober. My 3 girl friend's that I am going with love to drink wine and the one friend owns a wine company. So she has booked two restaurants who sell her wine on Friday and Saturday and they will be serving us wine which she supplies. Also I am going to see my brother and SIL who like to drink wine a lot and will just assume I will want some. I will just say no thanks and tell them I haven't drank for a year and don't plan to drink again for health reasons. My brother might bug me about it, we will see. He can be kind of an ass sometimes, very judgemental of me.
Wow, that is a long post for me.

I will check in later. Have a great day everyone!

[NoSugar]

Good to see you, Nar. I was wondering where you were but guess what? It didn't even cross my mind that maybe you'd decided to drink. You don't drink :smile:. I think you're smart to be doing a mental rehearsal of your upcoming trip when you know you'll be offered several opportunities to drink. Just fast forward to how good you'll feel when you're heading home with your quit intact - it's so empowering to know we're in charge, isn't it? It was so weird for me to feel like I wasn't and that I had to do something I didn't even want to do. I'm sorry your job has ended - you've been so upbeat about how much better you've been at it since you stopped drinking. It doesn't seem fair that you're not being "rewarded" for that. I guess that just isn't how a bottom-line industry works. I hope you're able to find something soon and in the meantime, actually enjoy the break. I'll be thinking of you :hug:.

TT, we had to give our daughter a lot of "room to grow" when she was the age your daughter is now. It was painful and sad but worth it (and it was a much shorter period than it seemed at the time). We have spent a great deal of time with her over the last few years - still as parents and daughter but more importantly as very close friends.

Pav, I hope you get some hopeful news soon. xx

[little beagle]

Narilly I'll be thinking about you on your trip. Remember you can text or message if you feel you need a bit of extra support.

[scottish lass]

Hi all - all discombobulated today - out of order due to holiday.
Had uncomfortable senior management day today - I have a long commute to work and get to work from home couple days a week, but my boss is insisting on all staff in office all days - that will make a huge difference to me...ugg. I need my introvert time....

Hope today went well Pav - thinking of you, hope you got some info and answers.
Nar - good to see you - sorry about the work situation - that just has to be stressful, you seem to be handling it well!
Cabin sounds great Pepper and what a nice way to remember her.
Hi to Jane, LB, DB and NS

Doing the homework thing now - just 7 more school days to go! Still no lists done for our holiday - can I really be changing that much??

[jane27]

[QUOTE=NoSugar;1614491]Good to see you, Nar. I was wondering where you were but guess what? It didn't even cross my mind that maybe you'd decided to drink. You don't drink :smile:. I think you're smart to be doing a mental rehearsal of your upcoming trip when you know you'll be offered several opportunities to drink. Just fast forward to how good you'll feel when you're heading home with your quit intact - it's so empowering to know we're in charge, isn't it? It was so weird for me to feel like I wasn't and that I had to do something I didn't even want to do. I'm sorry your job has ended - you've been so upbeat about how much better you've been at it since you stopped drinking. It doesn't seem fair that you're not being "rewarded" for that. I guess that just isn't how a bottom-line industry works. I hope you're able to find something soon and in the meantime, actually enjoy the break. I'll be thinking of you :hug:. [QUOTE]

Great advice NS!

Nar, I hope you'll over worry, be extra cautious, and check in as much as you can. We're all here for you.

Hugs to all my Loamers! Pav, I took a closer look at the pic, its a sand covered shell, not a soda tab- so that's one good thing, but yea, it did make me kind of sick to see the shark sliced from one end to the other just (I'm presuming) to remove the bait/lure. They should have just cut the line and let the shark go.

[Pavati]

Hi, Loamers:

Good sleuthing, Jane!

Glad to see you Nar. Like NS, I wasn't worried you were off drinking, because I know you don't drink. I feel very tense heading into situations that you describe - not because I think I'm going to drink, but I'm afraid I'll want to, or I won't fit in with my friends if I don't. It always turns out better than my anticipation. Have a great trip, and feel free to send a message if you need or want.

Results were meh. I guess I don't want to go too much into it here. We're ok, but have several tough months ahead. Long term prognosis is good, and DH has a good perspective on it all.

I just had a nice dinner with my younger son - DH and other son are out doing other things, so it was nice to hang out just the two of us. He is so sensitive - I worry about him with his dad sick.

OK, folks. Good night.

xo
Pav

[narilly]

Goodnight girls, thank you NS, Pav, Jane, lil B, I am looking forward to having time off although the income is going to suck!
Pav, you sound good, hang in there.

Jane, my friend that owns the wine company is named Jane. Funny eh?

Ok, bedtime for me. I have clean sheets SL, love that.

[scottish lass]

Nar - can I come share? Did not get mine done this weekend :sad:

[NoSugar]

Pav, this is pretty much all I saw when I read your note:

Long term prognosis is good,

The other stuff will undoubtedly be tough but the hope this gives you will help make it bearable and give you strength. I hope you know you don't have to act like superwoman here :hug:.

[Dottie Belle]

Feeling down today. Just look around the house and see him everywhere So sad to think about what was and what was to be. Gotta get through this somehow. Glad I have class tonight. Too tempting to drown my sorrows..

[jane27]

Can everyone please put their hands together to welcome back Jane, the depressive, whiny, woe is me-er?

Don't like the 5lbs I've put on but can see how I got there
Felt awash with feelings of resentment & suffocation as soon as we got home
Disgusted with myself for feeling that way
Sick of A1 lying
Sick of MIL's neediness & refusal to lift a finger to do anything for herself
Guilty and evil for wishing she'd die
Very worried about hubs diabetes & his head in the clouds attitude
Concerned re how to dredge up the energy to cheerlead the situation around (cook Paleo, rule the kitchen etc)
Tired
Drained from internalizing stress
Want to sleep
Feel weird, lost, floaty, too drained to pin it all down
Worried about how vulnerable hubs feels and is
Not liking A1 and have bad vibes about what he is up to
Depressed, annoyed, bitter, inconvenienced, put out, emotional, depressed, bored, fake (acting content & on board about the responsibilities to take care of every one else),
Tired & want to cry
Lonely
Lost
Hopeless
Negative
Down
Wasted- conversation with myself:
" My life is a waste. I'm just throwing it away."
"What life you asshole? You're lucky you have a life. You're 1) a loser in life 2) going nowhere fast. How DARE you complain!"
Depressed
Anxious
Craving isolation
Being at home with hubs, kids, baby sitter- any combo of those- feels like standing next to a loud speaker. And invasive.
Overwhelmed, behind, scared that I'll lose hubs love by being depressed, moody & stubborn
Deprived
In need of water, rest, quiet, cream everywhere, soothing, pressure removed, energy, freedom to express creativity
In need of space
Tired of constant dry throat
Tried of the phone calls asking for things (responsibility), or reminders, or people trying to sell things
End of the world-ish
Sick of redundant flesh wounds from picking at the ghosts of pimples past
Fat
Exhausted, flat out
Needed, leaned on, obligated, numb
Like a faker
Like a cheating contortionist
Angry, hateful (towards MIL)
Like Nellie Olson
Sad (about endings- Dad will die one day)
Scared of the future- hubs dieing
Scared of my perception being fragile- so many reference points changing- Jane Fonda is so old
Guilty for having these thoughts
Ashamed
Masochistic (for posting this)
Needing an outlet, a good cry, something
Self absorbed ( but let's not waste too much time on that)

[treetops]

Hi there Jane and Dottie (and others)
First Dot, you have been getting through this day by day but I can see strides in how you have coped. You are making a new life - gently, bit by bit but it does not have to be dramatic. Of course you will really miss him and be reminded of him everywhere and daily. Love does that to us.

Jane - what a list! You sound exhausted, like you have made to many to-do lists while on vacation and like you are feeling too responsible for everyone in the family - but they don't appreciate or listen to you.
The good thing is that you have let this out and that you are not drinking through it. You need time to decompress after the vac - and not to be superwoman. We all do this (read the advice NS just gave to Pav). Things don't have to be perfect. Maybe lower your own expectations and standards?
Maybe do what people tell me to do- make your own space, projects, interests - just for you. Nurture yourself. Just blob out if necessary.
Or just - Go on strike!
Apologies if I got this all wrong- but you need to take care of yourself.

As for me - very busy week and today at 5am (I woke up at 3.30am) I waved my daughter off on a 5 day school trip - a national drama festival. It was very sad to see her go but not traumatic. I also have a heap of work (my job) to do over the next few days and the weekend. Its a long weekend but work it will be for me. I dont mind as I will be going away myself soon.

Sorry for not getting back to everyone but you are in my thoughts and a great band of women (occasional male may post here of course).