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    Well, to be honest when I saw the e-mail saying they would offer one glass of wine with dinner and we needed to respect the facilities no alcohol policy, but we were welcome to bring one bottle to have with dinner the second night I was like... Crap! I can't go. But talking it out and being accountable here and with hubs.. I know I'll be alright. Having one glass at dinner would ruin my whole trip because I'd have to start all over, which I don't take lightly as it took 18 months to get to AF again which ended in a personal crisis,, for me and my little family.. Not worth it! One glass would just confuse me like break up sex. Just a really bad idea. The thought of bringing a bottle wouldn't work either as I would waste all my energy trying to drink it slow... And even if I could manage not to drink it all.. That would confuse me even more. Or worse.. I drink the whole bottle, and chat it up and finish off other women's bottles of wine... Make an ass out of myself.. Get embarrassed. Feel like a looser and miss out on the whole reason I'm going. OR, if I get as drunk as my last drunk.. All blacked out... And screaming and swearing naked for five hours to my victims. Completely violate the facility's no alcohol policy and end up arrested. Non of these drinking seneros are good. All bad. Only option is not to drink.

    One thing I did think was 40 women,,, 40 bottles of wine. Who thinks like that??? Anyway, I'm pretty sure that if a group of women wanted to get wasted they would go on some other type of girls weekend,not a weekend discussing our challenges as a parent, eating vegetarian, yoga and hiking...

    This reminds me of how I was the first time I went out with a bunch of mums when our babies were six months old. We went to a cooking class where you make the meal and eat it together. It was so much fun... But the build up for me on the not drinking front did cause anxiety. The emails were flying with excitement on how wine was chilling.. Bubbles.. Time to enjoy ourselves.. Let our hair down.. Etc. I think at this stage I was about 3 years sober... But just hadn't been around that kind of talk in ages. I thought of all my tool box plan and was prepared. There were about 12-15 of us and... To my amazement only 2 bottles were cracked over a 5 hour period and there was still some left in one of the bottles. 2-3 women just brought their unopened bottles home. I wasn't the only one not drinking. Not drinking was the majority. I was amazed. And kicked myself for worrying so much. But! It is important to be vigilant.. And I am in fairly early days so...yep, all good to be talking this out. Thanks for the support. I'm driving myself there... So I can drive myself out. Hubs is taking little one to the In laws... I don't feel like going there, and don't feel like being by myself either.., so I'm still pretty excited for the retreat.
    AF January 7, 2018

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      The retreat is going to be a blast Choices. You have really thought this through. I think you are going to be just fine.

      JVo, I can't imagine what you go through sometimes as a teacher. Hang in there babe. It is hard when a parent is sick too. I know how stressful that is. I'm thinking of you.

      TT, any food shows to recommend lately?
      Jane. I will figure out how to empty my inbox when I am on a computer. Glad you love your dog.

      G, a hot lady friend? Sounds like a good time. I don't know how you handle all of us hot ladies on a mission. Or maybe we a ladies on a hot mission...

      Good night everyone.
      Narilly

      "Nothing in this World Can take the place of Persistence"
      "You can have the life you want OR you can Drink"

      AF April 12, 2014

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        Hi, All:

        We have reached an auspicious milestone, gloamers. Page 1000. What a journey we've been on together!

        I read last night and then had to rush out and can't remember who said what.

        Sorry you're blue, J-vo. Good news is that we know it will pass.

        Choices - I used to say that I wanted to go to rehab so someone would cook me meals and take care of me for a month (a joke I made as an early parent, not regarding my alcohol use, but wow). I know the disappointment you must feel - I long to go on a sober retreat, too. I am glad you're feeling strong and I know you'll be fine - you don't drink.

        Night, folks.

        Signed, another hot lady on a mission,

        Pav

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          Yep, it's true. You ladies are HOT. Fairly low maintenance too. :congratulatory: What more could a poster on an anonymous international internet booze forum ask for? :thumbsup:

          All this talk of dogs. Will get another one day. Aren't they the best?

          Take care out there.

          'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

          Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

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            Good one G! Gnight Gloamers xx
            AF since January 7, 2014 *Never, never, never give up. ~ Winston Churchill*

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              Dogs are the best Mr. G. I want one too! Our neighbors have a chocolate lab puppy. I almost cry just looking at him play in the garden.
              AF January 7, 2018

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                Nar - food shows? Thats not me, must be someone else -I dont watch food shows. I watch crime, drugs, addiction, depressing psychological noir - that sort of uplifting thing!
                Actually Choices - I would not be surprised about AL being served on a vegetarian healthy retreat. It happens. But dont sweat it and you sound cool. I also used to be very good about finding AL at events/places when it was supposed to be in short supply or even banned. We are like sniffer dogs who have learned to put our little paws up and smile so sweetly and get more! (sorry Jane!).
                Are you leaving Friday?

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                  I like food shows.. A lot. But haven't scene any new ones as of late. I don't think I've mentioned that here though. When the baby goes to bed we normally watch something like a horror film or thrillers. To counter act all the child appropriate programming.
                  AF January 7, 2018

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                    Page 2000. Wow. Good morning. I'm trying ot upload a pic of my Ramsay. He's such a love. Any pointers.

                    So my kids are on a computer program working on individual skills, and I should be monitoring but I'm not. I'm on here. But this is an awesome class (my one and only) and I'm taking advantage!

                    Got a text this morning from Dad. He had to take Mom to hospital as she was having chest pains. I don't believe this is related to her ALS, and they'll do tests. Hope to hear it's nothing. I'm praying, which is also why I'm not monitoring my kids too well.

                    Have a good day.
                    Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.

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                      Mom was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy. She will be in the hospital for a few days. I believe this mimics a heart attack, and is related to stress. The stress is probably her ALS. She's declining as I said, and as I spoke to her just minutes ago, she sounds very weak. Her speech is not good, especially when tired. I don't know where things will go from here, but I've been praying all afternoon. I'l be flying down to florida tomorrow morning to be with parents until sunday evening. My other sister already left from Philly, and my older sister and I will leave early tomorrow. There will be alcohol around me. I will remember that there is NEVER A REASON TO DRINK. I will be clearheaded, and support my parents as they need it. I will have the energy to run here or there, do what they need to have done, and be there wholey and completely. I DON'T DRINK. I will need support. I'm reaching out to all of you now for that. Thank you.
                      Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.

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                        Safe travels Jvo. I hope your mum get's better and she is at least comfortable.

                        I remember your January post well, and that might be a good thought to carry with you while you are there.

                        Is it 30 days for you? Wowza! Well done. Don't look back. Take care of yourself.

                        'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

                        Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

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                          Zooming by - had a skim back, and will need to take time to read better...
                          LC - my girls are 17 and 14.
                          Nar - we have AL everywhere - gas stations, hairdressers...there is no escape.
                          I am hanging in, all ok, but too busy for words!
                          30 days j-vo - blooming well done, and with all you have going one - this means you can do anything you set your mind to!
                          “The only courage you will ever need is the courage to live the life you want"

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                            SL, that's just crazy, AL everywhere. Ugh

                            TT, lol, that was a spelling error! I meant good show not food show. Haha! I hnow you watch thos shows and I like them too. Right now I am watching How to Get Away With Murder, it's pretty good.

                            G, thanks for your compliment. Us Hot ladies are definitely low maintenance I am getting my little Daschund in less than a month. I can hardly wait for little Elvis!

                            JVo, lots of stress in your life right now. Way to go on 30 days. Day by day right?

                            Have a great sober evenin everyone.
                            Narilly

                            "Nothing in this World Can take the place of Persistence"
                            "You can have the life you want OR you can Drink"

                            AF April 12, 2014

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                              J-vo being available to run errends, talk, take care of the details is so necessary. And it makes me glad I'm af. I hope it helps you to think of all tge good you can do when you don't drink. Plus you have phone numbers. Mine for sure. Text or CALL if you need to.
                              Choices I think you have a solid plan. Honestly a little vacation away with someone else cooking and cleaning sounds heavenly right now. Sigh.
                              Narilly I'm watching Fargo. Week by week. It's really crazy this season. Lots of fun. Ted Danson and Brad Garrett. Two of my faves.
                              No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

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                                J-Vo, so sorry about your Mum. You stay strong and you will because you have 30 days sober now. I love it when the sober days just sort of sneak up on you.
                                Hi there Mr G. Man is it windy here across the Tasman. I guess thats all the gas your PM has expelled when he sent those Kiwis back here today from Christmas Island (oochh…but Mr G might know what I mean!).
                                Nar - haha about the typo. I am watching (at long last) Breaking Bad and have really got into it. But I also have the final season of Mad Men on the boil. Since I dont watch a lot at once, its eeking out over several weeks. But tonight there is important work stuff that I have to do. Its just a question of doing it - so I better take myself off-line...

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