Delightful December AF - Week 4

[papmom3]

Delightful December AF - Week 4

Dill-you sound better already!!
the only resolution I'm making this year is to stay alive! Sorry for the gallows humor. Seriously tho, that one resolution incorporates a lot of little ones:
1. Keep to my low sodium, low cholesterol diet
2. Exercise according to Dr's instructions. Right now that means strolling for 30 min every other day. Later it will incorporate Cardiac Rehab
3. Choose a lifestyle that will make me happy in terms of work and activities. This could mean early retirement and it definitely means getting well enough to get back to agility and continuing with my fiber crafts.

Today I was a bit tired-probably overdid it yesterday. Still went with my sis and dad to Lowe's to look at blinds, closet organizers and a cabinet to replace the pantry he had in his condo. His kitchen has about half the cupboard space the condo did so we have to be creative about storage. Also went to Target to look at shower curtains. No luck anywhere and I think he was really overwhelmed at the blinds and organizer options so we'll figure it out later. My sister went to Bed Bath and Beyond and picked up all the bath things he needs for the new place so that is done. I think I got my exercise for the past 2 days LOL!!

Will continue with the decluttering and reorganizing tomorrow. I'll try to get out for a walk before the rain hits (if I'm up in time! ).

Nice job with the recycling Lav!! Perfect timing for your neighbor and her friends I'd say! Go get them stinkbugs!!

[dill]

Delightful December AF - Week 4

I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.
Martha Washington

Hello Friends, looks like Martha Washington was a wise woman. I wonder if there were self-help books back in her day. One thing is for sure, there were no self-help websites!:H

Papmom, I like your resolution. Staying alive can mean more than just the physical life, but the spiritual life as well. While you work to follow your doctor's advice for your health, I will work on staying alive spiritually and maintaining internal peace and happiness. Was it LBH who always said, "May we be well."? Being well physically and mentally is what I will strive for in 2014. Oh, I dare say you definitely got your exercise in yesterday if you covered all that ground! Lowes and Target, now that's a lot of walking! I was impressed the other day when you said you bought pre cut butternut squash for your stew at Stop and Shop. I have never seen precut squash where I shop!

Lav, Good job on getting the kiddo equipment out from underfoot and sharing the wealth! I have a few things like that I am looking for an outlet for. I often take my things to good will but I really want to find a place to donate to that just gives them away to needy folks. Of course some things can just go out on the curb, depending on the weather. They always get snatched up.

So nice and mild yesterday! We all put on our rubber boots and tramped through the woods. Getting fresh air and sunshine was a spirit booster for all of us.

Getting a head start on my resolution for 2014:
If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. ~Dalai Lama

[Stargazerlily]

Delightful December AF - Week 4

Good morning friends...

Another trip to the ER, the doctor we saw wanted to admit him, the ER doctor said no. Got a fifth diagnosis, watching my son get worse, no one will help. The last few days have been hell. The staff at the hospital treated us like crap, mean, would not refrigerate a med I had brought, and it cost us $300.00 to replace. I am going to contact patient services, but have no hope. This is my nightmare, a loved one ill, our horrendous health system, being treated dismissively and condescendingly. So, my time off is not good. Sorry to be such a bummer, but if my son does go blind, I am finding a lawyer and suing...but I am sure the coven of doctors will all stick together.

Dill, I totally understand feelings of depression, I can barely wait to go back to work tomorrow. I need to get out of this house. Jury duty sounds interesting and something else to do, besides your normal duties. Fun. I have gone back and forth these last few days, and try to be positive, but then the negativity gets me. One thing I am sure you have experienced is the lack of privacy. At our age, we need time with just our husbands. I am going out today, just to get out.

Lav, thanks for the websites, you are always full of good ideas. I wonder if others have noticed how much you have changed in the last few years with your positive program. Let us know. I mean the people you interact with all the time face to face. I loved the idea of repeating positive affirmations and having them everywhere to replace the negative self talk. I need to do that and will try and start today. I have been telling myself horrible things, and it is making me crazy, and I mean crazy.

Pap, you sound so cute, decluttering and feeling you are getting nowhere. I usually just pick a room and start with the closet, and go from there. A full day and I have it done. It is a lot of work though. I don't know if you have emotional attachment to stuff, but I found I do. It is hard for me to get rid of things, even things I have not used in years, or things I don't need. I just wondered if instead of early retirement, you could work part-time. That is my dream. Two days or maybe three a week. I would be getting out, earning money, but still have time to live. Not happening anytime soon. Hope you continue to feel well.

Well, another day, my last day of time off, it has not been good. However, being AF made it possible for me to get through the hard times. My resolutions for 2014 I have to thing about.

[Lavande]

Delightful December AF - Week 4

Good morning friends,

Dark, gloomy & damp here ~ oh well!
Yesterday was nice so I'll try to keep that in mind

Star, I am really sorry to hear about your son's care. You must be very worried at this point.
Hospital these days are run like big businesses & they have to compete to keep your business. The few friends I have still working in them all say the same thing.
How far is the next nearest hospital? Can you go there? I know around here that if you want the very best care you make the 50+ mile trip to one of the big city hospitals in Philly. The doctors are better, the hospitals are better.
Don't be afraid to make a big stink. The loudest, squeaky wheel usually gets heard. Try not to worry about stuff that hasn't happened yet, OK?

Dill, I have often wondered how the women coped back in the day. Were they just able to go within & find the strength they needed to go on? Did they support one another like we do? Did they rely on religion & spiritual beliefs? I just don't know but I figure if they did it then so can we, right? Getting outside for a little bit each day & connecting with nature is a big help. I've read that we should try walking barefoot in the grass or sand for a little bit each day. It helps to anchor our chakras to mother earth. Great idea but a bit difficult this time of year A walk in the woods sounds nice.

Papmom, I think things will fall into place for you in time. Just keep focusing on doing what's right for you today. Your physical & mental health are most important right now.

I think I'll start packing decorations away today since the weather is so crappy.
It will give me a chance to think about 2014 resolutions myself.

Hello to everyone else. I hope everyone has a decent AF Sunday!

Lav

[papmom3]

Delightful December AF - Week 4

Hi Everyone!

Star-I agree with Lav-time to search out a teaching hospital or even just a better hospital in the nearest larger city. Here in Central MA we have 3 hospitals-we used to have 4 or 5. The are big conglomerates but I must say the care I got at the one I went to was awesome. they are one of the top hospitals in New England if not the country for heart care. But for cancer, everyone goes to Boston. For eye and ear, they go to Boston as well to Mass Eye and Ear. Maybe there is a specialty hospital somewhere your son can go to? Why did the ER doc overrule the other doc? Something stinks there. I wish you and your son all the best and hope he finally gets the care he deserves.

Dill-keep working at the positivity. It will help I swear!
I don't have so much emotional attachment as I hate to throw out anything still usuable. I'm going to go back to posting things on Freecycle.org. It's a wonderful org-there are groups in just about any region across the country. You offer things for free and people who can really use them come to your house to pick them up. You don't even need to meet them, just leave the item out somewhere for them. I have to say I have met some really nice people tho!! I am getting a bag together to go to Savers-clothes and items no one was interested in when I posted on Freecycle. It just time consuming but then, that's what I have a lot of right??
My plan is to retire so I get 1/3 of my salary without having to put in hours, then work as a contractor for the state part time (10-15 hrs/week) and up my demo hours to 16/week. So, by working 30-32 hours a week, I should be able to make about the same amount as I am now by working 50-60 hours /week. I'm going to call the retirement board tomorrow and speak with a counselor to see if this is at all doable. If it is, I'm doing it. If not, I'll have to come up with a plan B but the more I think about going back to that job, the more stressed I get. I know my family wants me to really consider that possible job offer for next December. Although the salary would be way better it would be a huge increase in responsibility, a big move, having to give up the demo job and most importantly having to stay at my current job for another year. Of course, things will work out the way the they are supposed to be so I will definitely be looking to the Universe for cues. We'll see and of course I will keep you all posted!

Lav-accepted the invite to the To Do Institute. Interesting and fairly close to me I think. Looking forward to their updates on FB. Thanks!
Cloudy and cool here-40 degrees. Still waiting for the rain to come.

Going over my sister's tonite for dinner. My dad invited himself because she packed up all his cooking stuff and brought it to the cottage LOL!! They are over at the condo today moving his TV/Stereo and packing more stuff. Mover's come tomorrow for the big stuff and he's done!! It will be so cool to have him 1/2 mile from me!! I envision lots of dinners together and walks with Mick.
Have a great day all! Hugs to all those who need them!!

[dill]

Delightful December AF - Week 4

Greetings AF Friends,
Star, I am so sorry to hear about all that is happening to your son! It must be awful for him and you and Mr. Star. Are both eyes being affected? Has there been a loss in vision already? I am keeping him in my prayers and sending you strength.:l:l

Papmom, I just looked for Freecycle and found a local group. That is so cool. Thanks for the tip. I hope you can arrange for a comfortable work load in your future. It is essential not to feel constantly stressed by work. It can't be good for your heart.

Lav, I think back in the early years of our country's founding many women found strength in the bible and in each others company thru work groups, like quilting groups and such. Fellowship with other women probably counted for a lot. It's an interesting topic. That book Star recommended to us last year, A Pavillion of Women, explored the subject of women coping in a harsh world in an Asian culture.

My son has been home today and it has been a wonderful visit. He seems so much more centered and healthy. The children have been happy to be with him. He will be done with treatment in a week or so. Then comes the hard part of maintaining his skills out in the real world.

Rusty, where are you? Come back already!

[Stargazerlily]

Delightful December AF - Week 4

Good morning...

I have already tried another big hospital in the area, in a bigger city, another county. No luck. Today I have to call and try and find an opthomologist and get an appointment. I am so discouraged and yes Dill, it is in his other eye, but not as bad. Still, the pain, loss of sight, no decent care, I am beside myself. Really sick. I had to call off today, have to take care of this, I hope someone will see him. I just don't understand the begging for help, for a qualified eye doctor to diagnosis. Five diagnosis in a week.

Dill, nice that the visit with your son went well. Hopefully, once home, he will do whatever it takes to keep his life together. The stress on your life and marriage has to be tremendous. I know that what is going on here has placed us under mucho stress. Women and support. In college I took women's studies classes and found that there was an entire world of women who supported each other in childbirth, raising kids, household things, through letters and visiting. They were not alone by any means. It was really wonderful in Victorian times. White middle class I believe. Now, it seems we are isolated from each other, and in competition. Love this group of women, although it gets smaller over time. We have the same issues with husbands, kids, grandkids, life issues, sobriety, work, spirituality, etc.

Pap, that would be so cool if you could work on that plan, keep stress levels down and have more time for yourself. I did not realize you disliked your newer job so much. Lots of changes for you recently, having your dad around will be a bonus. Freecycle sounds like a great idea.

Laav, thanks for your support, I have done everything I could. I am a loud squeaky wheel, but all it gets me is nowhere. Can you believe five diagnosis from Saturday to Saturday? This is someone's eyes we are talking about, but all the ER doctor cared about was his ego. He was a short man, too. And an a##. It is not good for me to get so upset day after day, so I am working on keeping calm, but it is sure hard in this situation.

Hope you all have a great day. Hi Rusty.

[Lavande]

Delightful December AF - Week 4

Good morning friends,

After an inch & a half of rain yesterday you'd think the sun might return today
Still dark & gloomy, oh well.

Dill, I'm happy to hear that your son is nearing the end of his treatment. I imagine he will be determined to keep his quit going & make the kids & you proud of him
Wishing all of you the very best!

Papmom, I found the ToDo Institute online many year ago when I was searching for help for my great nephew who was dumped on me. That poor kid had been over medicated his entire life for his ADHD & was presented to me as a 14 yr old zombie. Long story there but when he left my home a few months later he was off the meds & a completely different kid. The Institute gave me tons of reading material for him. Their use of Japanese psychology is awesome. I saw them on Facebook yesterday & thought you might like to read some of their stuff

Star, I truly hope you can find an Opthamologist willing to see your son today.
None of us should be begging for decent medical care!
I would not listen to a word or any opinion of an ER doc, seriously!!! Their job is to stabilize patients & move them out as quickly as possible. They have no focus on any particular area. I hope you get some decent help today.

I'm just going to fill my day with Curves, a trip to the supermarket, make a pot of chicken soup, that sort of stuff - nothing exciting :H
Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Monday!

Lav

[Rusty]

Delightful December AF - Week 4

Good Late Morning and Happy New Year, Everyone!

I have had a busy and fun holiday season. :-) Last Saturday, I gave a formal dinner party and invited three couples/friends who live in my condo association. It was so much fun but the preparations took lots of time. It was worth it, though. My beef stroganoff was the best batch I've ever made, my table decorations looked beautiful, and the conversation was lively and engaging. Can't beat that, right?. So, today, it's -7F and I am finishing up some work tasks that are due today, working out, and then coming home and planting myself in front of a blazing fire.

Star-I can't believe you've seen doctors and NO ONE has treated your son!:upset: Did they tell you why??? I hope you have better luck today.....this has been quite an ordeal for you and your son, not to mention that it ruined your holiday vacation.:l So the ER doctor has a Napoleonic complex, huh? So common, but true. I'm glad you have the fortitude to stay AF through all of this mess. That was quite a football game yesterday, wasn't it? Were you upset that the Bears lost. I am a Packers fan so I was delighted that Aaron Rodgers could finally play after being out with his broken collarbone.

Dill-thank you for the excellent Martha Washington quote. Truly, she was a wise woman. I was reading your posts about feeling depressed and just wanting to drive away, and the conflict you feel. That feeling has been a trigger for me drinking in the past...that feeling of being trapped with no escape. Not that you WILL drink, but I was wondering if there might be a way to relieve your feeling of being trapped. If, after your son gets out of rehab, will he eventually be able to move out on his own, or is the reason you're feeling overwhelmed and caught in an untenable situation is because he is destined to live with you and Mr. D forever, or an infinite amount of time? I'm delighted that you and your grandkids had such a nice visit with him and that he seems focused. As you said, the hard part will be maintaining his tools once he returns to the real world. Praying for you and keeping you in my step today.

Pap-GREAT JOB on losing 10 lbs! Wow, did you accomplish that in less than two weeks? You are taking your recovery so seriously and I am really proud of you. Remarkable! Great job also on the decluttering project! You say you want to retire early....at what age, may I ask? You mention working as a contractor for the state and increasing the hours at your demo job? These are not guaranteed hours, and contractors/part-time jobs are usually the first to go when there are budget cuts. 1/3 of your salary is not very much. I know you're miserable in your current job but I agree with your family about the job opportunity in Amherst. More money, more responsibility, maybe nicer people to work with....and hopefully you could hang in there until when you would get your full salary, or close to it, when you retire. Just my two cents, though.

Lav-how great that you were able to help your great-nephew when everyone else had failed him. Are you still in touch with him? I thought of you Saturday night. One of my dinner guests spotted a STINK BUG on my foyer floor! I had no idea it was a stink bug and would have squashed it, but he carefully picked it up and threw it in the toilet. Good thing he has sharp eyes.

Big hellos to Cyn and Jolie. I hope everyone is having a peaceful AF Monday.

[dill]

Delightful December AF - Week 4

Hi All, late check in.

So sorry I don't really have time right now to properly post. I had the last day of jury duty today and it was very long and emotional. Had to review a fatal shooting in which the shooter was a police officer. I'm truly worn out by it. The grand jury did elect to find him innocent of murder and that he used appropriate use of force in the line of duty. All the lives touched by this event have been damaged. Very hard and long day.

Back tomorrow.

[papmom3]

Delightful December AF - Week 4

Oh Star-my heart is breaking for you and your son. I hope to read tomorrow that you were successful in getting an appointment ASAP. I can't believe how you've been treated and can't believe no one is taking you seriously. You are a strong woman and a lioness-you won't stop until you get the help your cub needs. Don't be afraid to roar if need be!!

Dill-I can feel your exhaustion through the internet waves. I'm glad the jury duty is over- you certainly don't need that stress on top of everything else. I to pray your son will take his quit seriously-he's got a ton to lose. Happy to hear that so far so good. Please get some rest.

Rusty-thank you for your words of encouragement and opinion. You know I value your thoughts! I'm 57 and have 23 years into the state. I'm still going to call the retirement board tomorrow and get some questions answered. I want all the facts before i make a decision. The contract job is for a year and a half, pays $30/hr but I can only work 980 hours per year; and I believe my demo job is for as long as I want it. It's $16.50 an hour which is almost unheard of for a part time job and I so enjoy it. I can also look for a job in the private sector (while doing the contract work) without any hours/salary restrictions-I wouldn't mind a low stress job like an office coordinator in a college, like in student services, athletics, admissions etc. Something where I have a lot of interaction with the students but no responsibility in terms of supervision. Just do the job and go home. But having said all that, I have feeling deep in my gut I have to go back to my job and see how it all plays out. I'm not ready!!! Only 2 weeks to go and I haven't gotten up before 8:30 in 3 weeks! It feels so good to sleep late. I'm trying not to stress which is why I really need to talk to a retirement counselor. Maybe after hearing what they have to say I'll come to terms with going back to work.
Your holiday dinner sounded divine!! Great job Hostess with the Mostess!! Did you by any chance take pics of the table???

Lav-I still need to thoroughly look at that website but so far like what I see. So cool it really helped your grandnephew. Hope you got everything done you wanted to!!

It was gorgeous out today after all that rain. But cold and now they tell us to expect 8-12 inches of snow on Thursday through Friday. Bah. I have my cardiac rehab intake Friday at 12:30. I need to be there so I'm going to need to make sure my nephew gets his rear out of bed in time.

Today my dad officially moved into the retirement community!! I met him and the movers at 10 and supervised, unpacked kitchen stuff while he went back to the condo for the food. The place looks great but boy is that kitchen small! None of us realized how little cupboard/counter space he really has. We're going to have to get very creative and we've already started by ordering a jelly cupboard type thing off of HomeDecorators.com. It will go in the double "coat closet" off the foyer. Everything else fit just fine and he was tickled pink when he got back and it was all done. The movers put everything exactly where it should be and they were so accommodating. So different from the last time we moved him (1998). I got done around 1:30 and was totally wiped. Had to do a few errands before I got home and made lunch. I haven't left my bed since LOL!! We even found out the cable is on which was a surprise because the cable guy isn't coming until Thurs. Bonus!!
I'm so happy for my dad and I know we are all going to rest easier having him closer and on one floor plus all the new people he'll be meeting.

Tomorrow I have an oil change at 8am and then home to call the retirement board and do some more cleaning.

Have a great nite all. :l :l to Star and Dill.

[Stargazerlily]

Delightful December AF - Week 4

Good morning...

Where do I start. Attended an appointment at an opthomologist, who immediately diagnosed him keratitis, and stated that he had pseudomembrane in his eye from the virus building up over a week. She put in some drops and began removing membrane. My son is tough, but almost screamed several times. This doctor knew what she was doing. All the meds we had from the other doctors were useless, and are to be thrown out. Now prescribed steroid and antibiotic drops, and has to be seen again today. I researched malpractice, and this is it. I have to find a lawyer and ask my son to pursue compensation for pain, suffering, misdiagnosis, loss work, refusal of care (ER doc) that has added to his illness. We are not out of the woods yet. I cannot call off today too, so my husband is taking him. This is a mess. Yes, my holidays are ruined. The worst in years. I am trying to keep positive, maybe going to work will help. Seeing my son with swollen red eyes, pain, pain, inability to sleep (on the couch) spending all his money on lack of care, big egos of male doctors, I am so pissed. Plus, now I have lost work, cannot sleep, I am a wreck. No plans for new years eve, but I assure you I am staying AF. Drinking would have made this a nightmare beyond nightmares. We are not out of the woods yet and I must have all my wits about me. Praying my son will recover with no loss of sight and that this will never come back. Just think, all we needed was a competent opthomologist to diagnosis. What a nightmare.

Lav, what did ToDo recommend for ADHD treatment? I actually went there for a retreat, loved their philosophy, but did not know how to use it for ADHD. It was a great program of looking at yourself, being grateful for life, taking time to recognized all we really do have and being in the present. Loved it. Plus, the couple running the program are sincere people who walk the walk. What do you think of this mess I am in with deficient medical care? I hate suing people, and wonder if he really even has a chance, but truly, the wrong treatment for a week has hurt him badly. He cannot work, loss of income, cannot drive. I am scared.

Dill, hey, we are getting some snow today and tomorrow are you? Getting out the boots again. Hope your son is able to be on his own, soon. Wish my son was able to, but at this point I would like if he could see and work again.

Pap, your dad's new crib sounds just perfect for him. I know older people need less room, my dad's place is much smaller than his house and it is fine. Plus, the socialization piece will make all the difference for his mood, attitude, activity level. Hope he finds some interests he can enjoy. No decisions have to be made regarding employment. My friend quit her job, it was only parttime, but she kind of regrets it. She will more after the holiday business is over. She is isolated and stays in bed a lot. Her choice. I am making a new acorn squash dish and will have to let you know if it is any good. Cheap and easy, I hope.

Rusty, dinner party sounded fun. Glad to hear your holidays are going well.

Well, back to work today, thanks for your support. Will continue to need it. This is the biggest drinking night of the year, not for us. We will wake up and start the New Year feeling healthy, having dignity, and no regrets. What a great way to start the year.

[Lavande]

Delightful December AF - Week 4

Good morning friends on this last day of 2013! Can you believe it? We are completing yet another years in paradise together :H

I am heading out shortly to attend my granddaughter's countdown until Noon party at the Y!
Yep, my life has changed much in the past 5 years!!!

papmom, try not to worry too much ahead of time. I know that's easier said & all & it took some real effort for me to accept that we just do not have control over the future. Focus on restoring your health & building up your strength, OK? Please don't stress yourself ahead of time, it won't help with anything. Glad your Dad's move went well, good for him! Not exactly looking forward to snow on Thursday either, oh well!

Star, so glad to hear you found some decent medical care for your son, finally!
Does he wear contact lenses? I've known a few people who have suffered serious eye infections, corneal scratches, etc from their lenses. The antibiotic & steroid drops should definitely do the trick for him. He may not have any permanent damage although it surely is a worry. A few days on the meds should bring a lot of improvement. My SIL dealt with the same thing a few years ago & had to give up wearing her contacts & go back to glasses but her vision did not suffer.
The ToDo Institute directed me to a lot of their material on mindfulness techniques, connecting with nature, strategies for creating responsibility & that sort of thing for my nephew. I found their articles very helpful & had no problem handing them to a 14 year old. I told him to do the reading then we had discussions afterwards. I no longer have my membership at ToDo but will renew it if I need some therapy

I'll be back later, wishing everyone a great day!
Lav

[dill]

Delightful December AF - Week 4

Hello All,

Star, I'm so happy your son finally got appropriate treatment! What did the doctor say in terms of prognosis for regaining his sight? You must be devastated at this point. I do think you should purse some kind of medical malpractice suit. Especially if he comes away with some permanent damage due to neglectful treatment.

Rusty, your dinner sounds fantastic! I was wondering if you served any alcoholic beverages? Just curious. I have many friends that don't drink and wouldn't miss it if I didn't serve any, but then there are some that really seem to expect it, you know? I used to be in the latter group. Regarding my recent depression, I guess I feel trapped because at this moment in time I don't see the end game. I know my son has every intention of moving out as soon as he possible can, but when will that be? I don't know.

Papmom, I'm glad you got your dad all moved in. It sounds like a perfect fit for him.

Lav, I think I could handle a count down to Noon party. Is that instead of a New Year's Eve Party? I haven't been to a NYE party in years and in fact, I don't think I've managed to stay awake to ring in the new year in many years!

It's a bright sun shiny day here but someone told me our temps will be dropping by the end of the week to single digits. YUCK!

[Lavande]

Delightful December AF - Week 4

The countdown to Noon party was pretty much a flop Dill :H
It was very crowded & noisy at the Y, a bit too overwhelming for the littlest ones. We left early & drove on to an indoor Fun House, with those giant blow up bounce houses that the kids love. Had a lot of fun there then picked up some delicious Chinese food for lunch. The traffic was pretty heavy, the snow flurries were flying everywhere on the way home. No I'm staying put in front of the fire place :H