af day Saturday 28 Dec

[treetops]

MAE absters!
Yes I am back at home and slowly catching up on things. We had a lovely break - and I even polished off a few novels!
I am still catching up on posts so might miss a few things.
Looks like everyone survived the Christmas fervour - some unwanted drinking for a few but it doesn't sound like there were any major crashes. Lets keep it that way as we head towards New Year's Eve. Again, for me -its a non-event. You are going to wonder what the hell I do celebrate - I just try to be a bit picky but I do my bit with others' celebrations when required.

Mick - sounds like you enjoyed the food. And others too. I have gluttonised on too much sugar during the last few week but hope my energetic activities have helped to metabolise some of that!

Pauly ? I see Lava me to the rescue and explained stone-fruit. Its summer fruit here ? plums, nectarines, peaches, apricots, cherries. They all have pits or stone in them. I am more of a pipster (ie I just prefer crunchy apples ? but the apple season somes in late summer).

Narilly ? I really liked YahYah?s post to you ? and I support her comments. It's a rare problem drinker or alkie who can just have a few. Some years ago I quit AL and stayed sober for c 9 months ? then gave in to a few drinks. It was not a disaster and I didn?t get really drunk. I thoroughly enjoyed the taste and the pleasant buzz. I didn?t go on an immediate binge ?I have never been a prolonged binger. I just slowly and in my own time built back up to harmful and very addictive drinking again ? which then lasted until this last quit. I don?t want to ever ever have to quit again.

YahYah ? great to have you back on the threads! I hope you get through this family stress and I will catch up with you soon.

How?s the Snow Queen? That's you PPQP. I have friends in Canada who have reported dreadful weather and power outages.

Hi pic Det ? of the two of you at Red Rock.

Lav ? more adventures in Farmworld it seems! I read a bit about the Longwood Gardens and Estate recently ? and want to visit! It came up in some stuff I was reading about Frank Lloyd Wright and the houses he built in Pennyslvania.

Sam ? glad the wonderful life is with you. You sounded like the March Hare in (late late Late!) in your last post!

Well greetings to all others . I am trying to post a few holiday pics but not sure if I can manage. Here goes.

[treetops]

af day Saturday 28 Dec

sorry I just keep getting messages that the upload failed so buggered if I know what to do!

[narilly]

af day Saturday 28 Dec

Evening TT. Thanks for all the support everyone. Lav. You definitely gave me something to think about. I really don't want to drink. Most of the time it's not a problem but I have my moments. I have to learn how to surf through those times. I am trying to be aware of my triggers and old habits. I am going to keep on this AF journey.
It was +9c this am, just beautiful outside, I went for an hour long walk. Now it is -17c and the wind is blowing like crazy. How nuts is that!!
Talk soon,

[TheSunFlower]

af day Saturday 28 Dec

Been wiped out from Christmas....to end up having a minor flu today. Yuck.

Read back and this comes from the "Ex-Queen of Relapse"

I have to concur with Lav. Until you truly take al off the table, you will continue to thrash and fight your way through this thing. The most dangerous thing about relapse, is that it puts relapse on the table for you. I got tired of relapsing....tired of day 1, 5, 20, 90.....to have to do it all over again. Until you truly pursue a life without al....you don't grow and get beyond it. Relapse can happen to anyone at anytime....this I know all too well. But, honestly now drinking al seems rather foreign to me.

Does anyone remember when I pitched a fit in my head at the hairdressers about not being able to have a drink? What was starkly different about that time....was I wasn't trying to talk myself into a drink.....but, doing whatever the hell it took to not have one. Throwing myself off a bridge was more of an option than having a drink.

When I knew I was close to relapse in June....I high tailed it to a recovery group. There are tell tale signs....and not taking relapse off the table is one of them. Not taking it off the table allows for al to come swinging when you least expect him. Not having a hangover from a relapse only secured my next relapse.

I put in a little profile pic....oddly it does look a bit like me on my wedding day...minus the sword and exchange the candle for a beer. You have to be a Ninja Warrior....because as Brydie always says....this is the fiercest opponent. You have to be stronger than it. Smarter than it. Always on the lookout for it. Ready to strike it down before it gets you.

Each and everyone of us has the power within us to beat this at its own game. We have been playing the game too long. We know the signs, we know the sneak attacks. Be willing to do whatever it takes....even if for me....it meant going to a recovery group. Some don't need it, some do. Some hypnosis works, others not. Supplements can help some and not others. Do it all if that is what it takes.

I truly have compassion for anyone and everyone who falls. But, please listen to Lav. She tells you what to do....but, then people don't do it. She has to want to reach through the screen and choke some people....ME included. Being around al in the early days of sobriety is just not smart and it is avoidable even if it is Christmas. If you had the flu you would not be at the party....so have the freaking flu

Speaking of the flu....I am going to go back to bed.....and read about yoga. If I can't do yoga....I might as well read about it:H

[Mick]

af day Saturday 28 Dec

mae all ..and hows things for this weekend?certainly a good start ..pitched up to see that thread had already started ..welcome home tt!!glad it all went well for you..as for reading ..yeh luv it!!I can lose myself in a book anywhere...bit puritanical at times me tho ...take my kindle on holiday ...on our last holiday ,I read 14 books!..and yet I still prefer to turn the pages...

Time for tea..anyone else for a cuppa? tea or coffee?
Well over the silly season..I didnt lose any weight ,but a he same time I didnt put any on either ..so after next week its serious exercise time..gotta lose a fair bit before I go to Vietnam ...9 weeks away
So swimming and running here I come!!

Hiya SF...well how are you ?hope the flu is shifting for you...how eloquently you paraphrase the frustrations and failings in your post!!certainly put it a lot better than I can..yes we all have he power to conquer al..it takes some longer than others ..but the frustration and disappointment that comes when one of our little band falls is phenomenal...but to be fair ..one of the things about here is to be honest if you slip and the support you get..its just that ..well you know!Interesting one that ..yoga in bed!!

Hiya Narilly ..how are you? wow thats some temp jump!!Did you enjoy your walk?You really hit it in your thread..surfing ..thats the way to beat the craving ...It always worked for me ...just keep why why whying yourself until you finally cant be bothered with al..dont give in ...

Hiya Yah ..and how are you today? how was the first day back at work?Talk about clever kids ...My friend left her phone on the side in the house, password protected..when she came back it was unlocked,so she got him to do it again..he is 3!!

Hiya Sam..yep one down ...one to go ..New Year for a Jock is heavy duty ..fortunately I dont get involved any more..you working today?

Hiya Pauly ..you ok? yep lets get the silly season over and back to normal ..this next year is yours ...stay with it mate

Morning Lav ...how are you today? ok I hope ..in the home of the happy hens!!What gave the rooster away?Bra ,knickers and a beard?:H:H So now he is off to the nice Amish man?Whats your plans for the weekend ? anything spectacular?have a good one.

Hiya Det..hows you mate? ok I hope..yes as you say..there isnt any rationale for why we go back to drink..the thing is .when it happens ...what do you do ..fight or give in?and again that depends on lots of things ..emotional stability, attitude,resolve amongst other issues..and yes I accept that not everyone is as stubborn or pigheaded as me..but no means no ..end of

Right time to go ..before I go Kuya sends her best ,she is still af and doing ok

Not here early doors ..out again!!so take care! have a good one.

I was totally shafted by work at Christmas when it came to getting to spend quality time with my wife and children.

I was given three weeks off.

If there's one thing that makes me f.cking glad to have a job,
it's daytime T.V.

My wife goes out 3 evenings a week with her driving instructor.

I wouldn't mind but she passed her test in 1993.

"You're only working over Christmas to get away from me and the kids," my wife moaned.

"That's bollocks," I replied, packing my trunks for my lifeguard shift on Blackpool beach.

" You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met, and I have loved you ever since I first laid eyes on you, and I always will. Whatever makes you think I only want to marry you for your money?"

"Because we only met four hours ago."

I said to my wife, "I'm exchanging your Christmas present."

She said, "Why, is it too big?"

I said, "No, it's f.cking shite."

Life in the UK and prostitution have quite a bit in common.

Except the people who get shafted are supposed to get paid, not the other way round.

[Lavande]

af day Saturday 28 Dec

Good Saturday morning Abbers,

Sunny & chilly at the moment & that's OK by me

Glad you arrived home safely TT!
I think apples are my favorite too & there are plenty of apple orchards around here too.
Longwood Gardens is a fascinating place & I feel fortunate to live so close. I have a membership so I can go anytime I like. A walk through their conservatory will brighten you right up! It even helps chronic grumps like the one I am married to :H

narilly, watch out for that frightfully dangerous weather

SF, your post reminded me just now of how frustrated I was with myself exactly 5 years ago! I really would rather throw myself off a bridge or step in front of a train rather than put myself back into alcohol hell! Thank you
I hope your flu is short lived, it sucks to be sick!

Mick, this just may be an excuse, but.....
The exotic chick that arrived with the others showed his male characteristics very early on. I was so focused on getting rid of him that I didn't notice the one male developing in the midst of 31 Buff Orpintons. He kept himself well hidden until he just got too large to hide. Either that or I have just had my head up my ass & have been too distracted with everything else :H
I'm just glad he's out of here now & I know my hens will thank me too!!!!

Greetings to everyone & sending wishes for a wonderful AF day!
I think I need to spend some time on the cleanup committee today!

Lav

[porqoui]

af day Saturday 28 Dec

MAE ALL....

TT...looks like things are getting back to normal. I love my routines. Snow Queen doing good, Xmas done and dusted. Just have to get through a New Year's Eve wedding. I'm going as the designated driver. :H If the uploads are failing it's probably because the file is too big. There's a max so try re-sizing them.

Narilly....hope you're surviving this crazy Calgary weather. Good on you getting out for walks, I tend to hide indoors this time of year. It's changing habits that I find the hardest. Once you quit drinking you all of a sudden have all this time on your hands. Finding ways to fill that time without drinking is the challenge. Walking is much better than house cleaning.

SF...I remember your "fit in my head" at the hairdressers. Seems like a hundred years ago. Hope you're able to sleep off the flu attack. You are sounding so strong these days, keep it up.

Mick...I too prefer to "turn the pages". Getting me interested in reading was the best gift my Mom gave me. What do you mean you're heading off to Vietnam in 9 weeks?? Man, I've got to get into this retirement life soon. Safe travels on your early out tomorrow.

Lav...I think I would re-think the cleanup committee if I were you. After the hustle and bustle why not just have a Lav day?

Feeling a bit down today. Xmas has become the "dreaded" holiday after the divorce. It's all about "family" and apparently I'm the one who ruined this family. Sorry, don't know where that came from but handing it over to you guys so I can move on. Thanks.

Will soon be checking out what the "Flash Freezing Warning" is all about when I get ready to head down to my Dad's. I say Bring It On....I've dealt with just about everything weather wise this year. Have a great AF Saturday all and all to come.....PPQP

[treetops]

af day Saturday 28 Dec

another attempt

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[Lavande]

af day Saturday 28 Dec

Wow TT - that's where you went hiking??
Looks like the real thing to me

PQ, I spent a little time playing outside today, cutting back old herbs.
It's quite mild today & tomorrow is supposed to be a big rain day
So you ruined the family huh? REALLY?? :H :H
And I thought you were such a nice little person
At this point I wouldn't give a hot damn about what people think. It's what you think that's important

[narilly]

af day Saturday 28 Dec

TT, one pic came through, nice mountains! Thanks for your post. Ya, moderate drinking is not really an option. I agree with that. Thanks Yah Yah.
Star- thanks for the post. It was very good.
PQ, ya our weather is nuts for sure. Christmas can be pretty difficult for lots of people. Hang in there!
Mick, wow, Vietnam! That sounds like fun.

I will be AF today. Making Rice Krispie squares, yummy. I find it helps to keep busy cooking or whatever and eating sweets (more than usual). Just for now I am treating myself.

[Samstone]

af day Saturday 28 Dec

Pretty winter day here... high 50's. I was able to mark about 2000 feet of our property line on the mountain behind our house, got another 4000 to go. Took the 4 wheeler loaded with metal fence posts up old logging roads to the top then walked it and drove them in where we had put the wooden ones in back this spring. I love winter time with no leaves, you can see quite a ways. There had been a signal tower up there during the civil war. Some folks have found old bullets up there. There's no remnants of anything but I see why they had it up there.

TT, I be the white rabbit!

[TheSunFlower]

af day Saturday 28 Dec

Mick...I think being honest is so very important....and everyone will always get support here in their journey. I think it is important to tell people the truth. Sugarcoating helps no one. All of my failures can be traced back to not really taking al of the table.

I know that some have hit major milestones to report that "not much has changed", except that they don't drink anymore. For my dysfunctional relationship with al....I would have zeroed in on that and said "why the hell bother if nothing is going to really change".

When I got to that final "screw it" moment....everything changed. And it keeps changing for the positive. This thing I value so much was an inside job. How I feel physically and emotionally has changed tenfold. How I view the world is so much more positive. How I handle life has changed. How people view me has changed (even if they had no idea I had a drinking problem). How I deal with my kids has changed. My relationship with my husband is deeper than it has ever been. I am no longer consumed with al thoughts....that my brain has time to absorb new things. I can't clearly explain how much I love this new life and new me. And it is something that everyone can have.

I write this....as I was let down when I read on another thread....that a lurker said, "the moderators are doing shit and the abs don't seem to be fairing well either". Is that what we want people to see? Because it is pretty darn de-motivating to someone.

Det...I know you better than thinking 95% of the time is ok. We both know that 95% turns to 85%, 75% and downhill from there. I did it. And it simply is not ok with me that I let my kids down even .0000000001% of the time due to al. And I know you feel the same with DX.

We usually attend a New Year's Eve party at a friends house. Its a place where we get to see everyone in one shot and the kids love to go. The drinking is fairly minimal and they do smoke pot....but, have always gone down to the basement unnoticed. This year my friend asks me (who knows I don't drink and hubby no longer smokes pot)....if I can get a sitter, because they want it to be an "adult" party. We had been planning to swing by for an hour this year.....but, I got to thinking. If they are having an "adult" party due to drinking and drugging.....to the point that a 12 year old should not be present....its not a place I need to be either. That is the shift in thinking. I don't feel left out....I feel liberated that I don't need that shit to have fun. I want to be like a 12 year old again....where fun doesn't come in a freaking bottle.

So as the new year comes....and so many lurkers are making resolutions....can we each post a pretty significant positive from becoming af. If there were not any positives...none of us would be here....feeling thrilled that we are sober.....grateful that we are sober. Willing to jump off a bridge/step in front of a train.....before we would risk going back to al hell.

[Samstone]

af day Saturday 28 Dec

SF
I would not put a whole lot of stock in the negative crap that people post. I am not aware of the post you have read, but the lurker very well may be a troll that is just messing with people and unfortunately there are some here that really don't need that. There are some very vulnerable people on this site just trying get a grip and as you pointed out, that's is very "demotivating".

Tonight I feeling very strongly about my quit. I am grateful to be sober. It has been a complex holiday with so many people giving booze as presents, etc. I'm ready for the New Year bs to be over with.

[treetops]

af day Saturday 28 Dec

SF - I for one don't even think about being AF over New year's eve because I don't drink AL anymore. Thats it. The person who posted that crap (as Sam so nicely put it) clearly doesn't have very good social skills and knows nothing.
I had to laugh when you aid you were asked to go to an 'adults' party and you might 'swing' by! :H:H My mind boggles.
I am watching too many risque 70s movies and old TV shows at the moment - so have a Valley of the Dolls vision here. I know thats not you - but do try to see the funny side.

Sorry Sam - I got my March Hare's and White Rabbits mixed up. Its all fantasy and probably written by the mind of a drug-addled genius!

[YoungAtHeart]

af day Saturday 28 Dec

Interesting thread today. It's making me think that, even though I'm sober, I need to make some positive changes in my thought processes and my day-to-day life. I'm not a big believer in NY's resolutions, but I am thinking of a few things that I want to shift my direction upon, and this thread is adding to my motivation. As for what other people outside of our thread think, the heck with them! I like us a lot, thank you!

See you all tomorrow!

:l
YahYah