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    #61
    January 2014 - AA Thread

    Acadia: What a great story! I loved it!

    Pete: I try to remember that AA is a program of action. In fact there is a chapter within the first 164 pages called "Into Action." It's not "Into Thinking" or "Into Contemplation." I need to remember this because I too have a very active head. Sometimes it feels like white water up there. I find that if I do something, especially some kind of service, the thinking slows or changes tone. I try to call someone or meet up w/someone or do send an email, anything positive. This act changes the course & tone of my thinking. Also, no need for paranoia. If your motives are OK, there's nothing to be worried about. I talk to, shake hands with, even hug men all the time. It doesn't mean anything more than friendliness. Easy Does It. Mary
    PS: Forgive me if I sound preachy.
    Wisdom, Courage, Strength
    October 3, 2012

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      #62
      January 2014 - AA Thread

      It's the first time I see this: the entire 13th Stepping thread disappeared!
      Well....
      Our meeting last night: it was a Topic meeting.
      What was your signature in your drinking days, and what is it now. What will you be remembered for...
      The stories that came out!! We were 19 people in the room and I am fond of everyone! But!!! By the sounds of it, we wouldn't have been friends in our drinking days!!
      It seems like we all are more focused on being honest, caring and forgiving!
      Have a lovely week-end!
      Clean and serene xxxx

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        #63
        January 2014 - AA Thread

        Wow! You're right, Sol - that thread did disappear?! Hmm, wondering what your signature was then and now? LOL

        Acadia -very cool story! The support people in recovery give each other is amazing. Pete - sorry about freaking you about 13th stepping! Don't worry about it - I'm sure you are not sending out a creepy vibe. I asked a guy at work who has been in AA for over 20 years, and he said he has not personally seen it, just heard about it some. And Mary, you are so right about action. That will keep you out of trouble, if you can stay on task!

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          #64
          January 2014 - AA Thread

          it is strange how people in recovery can get along in that one common denominator; the desire to stop drinking/using! my sponsor is a total right wing fundamentalist Christian and I am a left wing atheist, but we get along great and actually have a nice friendship based on mutual respect abd admiration. we learn a lot from each other, and it is actually making me a whole lot less judgemental and more able to just accept people the way they are and appreciate them for being them. underneath it all, we are all just trying to survive and that is a very strong bond to have with our fellows. the whole world could benefit from the principles, I suspect.

          was at a meeting last night with my sponsor and she told her story again, and it hit me how much I admire her and why I chose her. she is recovering from meth addiction. she lost all 4 of her kids and had no contact with her family for 16 years, but she has dug out of that hole and become a serene inspiring person. I really admire her, even if I don't agree with her in a lot of things.
          I am grateful to AA for helping me be a more accepting person.


          peace!
          10-06-2012

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            #65
            January 2014 - AA Thread

            Ret, I agree with you about the into action part. I think my character defect of stubbornness was really brought out the other day. When someone tells me I "need" something to be happy, sometimes I'll do whatever it takes to prove that wrong, even to the point of my own self-destruction. I don't like feeling "forced" to do something, especially when I'm in a terrible mood.

            Betty, that's what I like about AA, is the unity and fellowship. With all the personality differences and everything, we all know what it's like to slowly kill ourselves with drugs and alcohol. That makes it a lot easier to connect with people in the program.

            I've been working on my self-talk lately. It feels like I'm dwelling on the negatives and what I don't have instead of focusing on the positive changes I've had and what I should be grateful for. I made a gratitude list at night for a few weeks and that really helped, but then it got to a point where I started blaming God for the shittiness he brought into my life, and gratitude became impossible.

            Anywho, have a happy Friday everyone
            Knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness.
            George Santayana

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              #66
              January 2014 - AA Thread

              good work pete. there is so much to be grateful for in life. for one thing, we're still alive! as an atheist I always wonder how anyone can blame god for the bad things, but praise him/her for the good things...its confusing!

              went to a morning meeting today...I hadn't been to this meeting for about 6 months, and its the one I "got sober" at, so it was nice to see some of the same folks saying the same things again


              peace!
              10-06-2012

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                #67
                January 2014 - AA Thread

                Here's how I see it, Betty. God is in control of everything, and he brings both good and "bad" things into our lives. It's easy to be happy when he gives us positive situations, but when he gives us negative situations, it's hard to be grateful for what he's doing. For example, he might lead us to rock bottom so that we're motivated to turn things around and ask for help, but no one wants to be led like that. Painful experiences usually force us to grow, but they can be so uncomfortable that in the moment happiness is impossible.

                I believe he led me into AA through sheer shittiness. I had found sobriety through baclofen, but still had all my character defects, was living in a lot of fear and wasn't really going anywhere. I believe God said "enough of this!," made me start drinking again and sort of forced me to a point where I had no other option but to make some major changes. Am I grateful to Him for doing this, even though I'm at a better place now than I was when I was sober from baclofen? Sometimes. Most of the time, though, I think my pride just gets in the way and I get filled with self-righteous anger and self-pity. My head and my ego are on different pages. I can logically say to myself that I should be grateful for everything God has done, but then when I feel
                all the pain I've had to go through to get to this point, my "natural" reaction is to say F*** YOU, GOD! :lame:
                Knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness.
                George Santayana

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                  #68
                  January 2014 - AA Thread

                  Lot's to read back and not much time...

                  Pete... have you ever heard of Rabbi Brian? Religion Outside the Box In one interview he talked about being pissed off with God and ended up telling him so. He seems to think that our Higher Power wants a relationship with us, and that it's ok to express both positive and negative feelings/thoughts. Check him out, maybe? He classifies his musings as 'Religion outside the box' and his tag line is "To empower adults to find and be with (the) God (of their understanding). I find him quite refreshing.

                  Acadia... that is an awesome story and something I will remember.

                  Ok, real quick.. I ventured out to a new meeting - it's actually my home group visiting this 'group' - not really a set group, it's at a treatment center on the island. I went along with a married old-timer couple and another newer member. Half way there, they announced that, the way this works, is .. the visitors are the speakers :eeks: So, I ended up speaking for about 10 Minutes or so... the ground didn't open up and nobody tossed rotten eggs... and, I was OK On the way home, they also threatened to have me chair a meeting soon, as my 3 months is coming up. I'm guessing, I can handle that, too.

                  I may actually start on my Step 4 today. Wish me luck.
                  Okay, WHO put a stop payment on my reality check?

                  Winning since October 24th, 2013

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                    #69
                    January 2014 - AA Thread

                    Good Luck. Yes, in AA we do things we never thought we'd do like tell our stories. When I speak I try to remember that I'm speaking in order to help someone else. I try not to wonder if anyone will get something out of what I say. I just try to be honest & open.

                    We just spoke about the whole God issue the other day at a step 2 meeting. I don't overthink it all. I just try to remember that I couldn't get sober wo/AA regardless of how hard I tried. So, if AA has to be my HP, so be it.

                    We're getting ready to go on a long drive to TX where I son lives. We're going to spend Feb. there. I've already printed out the meeting list for the little town we're staying in. It's quite extensive: morning, noon, & night. I love that I can go anywhere & find AA.

                    Mary
                    Wisdom, Courage, Strength
                    October 3, 2012

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                      #70
                      January 2014 - AA Thread

                      I just listened to this Here & Now

                      and it was interesting. I know that I crossed the line into alcoholic, but it is hopeful for people, especially women, who are maybe just starting to realize they are drinking more than they want to or are worried about their intake. I wish I had had a resource like that early on, I might have spared myself the years of misery my alcoholic drinking caused. but, there is no way to know, and here I am now, sober!

                      anyway, have a good day all...hang in there and I hope you go to bed sober and free

                      peace
                      10-06-2012

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                        #71
                        January 2014 - AA Thread

                        Congrats on the 3 months and good luck on your 4th step sunshine.

                        I started reading The Artist's Way, which is a "spiritual path to higher creativity." It's a 12 week long course in a book, and every week I get/have to take myself out on solo dates. No women allowed

                        I wrote my 8th step and am getting ready to do the 9th step with my sponsor. I thought I'd written everything down, but new memories keep popping back up. And they're financial amends, too. I'm trying to embrace a "starving artist" mentality for now, and I figure I'll be able to go further in life and my career if I'm guilt and shame free. Onward to freedom and creativity!
                        Knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness.
                        George Santayana

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                          #72
                          January 2014 - AA Thread

                          Oh and betty-I tried clicking the link but didn't see any clips about alcoholism or drinking
                          Knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness.
                          George Santayana

                          Comment


                            #73
                            January 2014 - AA Thread

                            Pete: There's an article on that here & now page on the right side on alcoholism. It's interesting, as it admits that abs & AA aren't for everyone. There's a quiz to see if you're an alkie. There's hope for some people to learn to drink mod. It's not for me however. I tried for years to drink mod. Couldn't do it. There's a suggestion to keep track of your drinks. I tried that...schedules, drink tracking. Didn't work for me. When I had a relapse in 2012, I tried to mod but could feel the drinking escalating on a daily basis. I'm so much happier sober. It's a much more uncomplicated way to live. But, that said: I know AA & complete abs isn't for everyone. Every individual has his/her own HP. It's not my place to act like my way is the only way. I use my brother as an example. He was a big drinker/drugger. He finally just stopped on his own & never turned back. He had enough. Mary
                            Wisdom, Courage, Strength
                            October 3, 2012

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                              #74
                              January 2014 - AA Thread

                              thanks for clarifying the link mary.

                              I can't moderate either, but I think by the time I tried to, I was past the point of no return. that story is definitely for folks who haven't crossed the line into full on alcoholism.

                              I have been feeling some things that I know are bad signs for me...I need to get to a few meetings. I am going to talk to my sponsor too. it's not that I want ot drink, more of behaviors that I had when I was drinking that aren't good and remind me of that time...

                              im glad that now I have support and options at times like this instead of just spiraling out and wading back into the muck.

                              :thanks::h


                              peace
                              10-06-2012

                              Comment


                                #75
                                January 2014 - AA Thread

                                Betty-I'm hoping you figure out what's bugging you. Something I've noticed is I usually learn some new information about myself after I go through a tough time.

                                Well, I'm coming up on sixty days sober here in a week. I feel like I've made huge strides in my thinking, behaviors, and mood, but I'm getting kind of tired of the pattern of feeling like shit for a few hours and then bouncing back to normal. Actually, now that I'm writing this, that pattern has gotten sooo much better than when I started, I'm just bitching about it now cuz I'm in one of those shitty moods at the moment

                                I just got back from a good meeting about the tenth step. It kind of freaked me out though. First off, I'm doing the 8th and 9th steps at the moment, and new memories keep popping up, which means more amends I have to make. Then at the meeting they reminded me that amends and what not are something we have to do our entire lives. I was telling my friend after the meeting that that would seem to get very tiring. At the end of the day, going over what I did wrong and what I need to amend does not seem like a pleasant thing to do. Or it doesn't seem like something to look forward to. Granted, the end result is that (hopefully) we stop those bad behaviors and replace them with better ones, but shit. I just want to take a week off or something from "growing" and learning how I think and do things all wrong, but I don't think that's going to happen. Now I'm remembering how I was in such a good mood last night, actually being able to plan for my future and getting excited about it. Well, I'm in a little better mood now. Thanks for listening to my bitch-fest :H
                                Knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness.
                                George Santayana

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