January 2014 - AA Thread

[bettygirl]

January 2014 - AA Thread

morning! I hear you guys about winter, I am so sick of it, even though where I live it doesn't get that bad. I am just over cold! I want to live out my life on a beach, and why not!? oh, yeah, work...damn it.

I chaired a meeting last night. its my favorite meeting, and it was actually fun.

I have been getting weird "vibes" from two men in AA and I have been avoiding them, but I decided I am not going to let their weird behavior taint my feelings about AA. sometimes I worry about "13th steppers" and the fact that anyone can be in AA, and we don't know what their true history is. we assume they are there for good reasons, but we don't know that. it's important for women in AA to have a lot of women around to serve as a buffer...I think. I like women only meetings, but the one we have in town is on Wednesdays at 5 pm, so its hard to get to (for me). that's why I like the sunday night meeting I chaired. it feels safe and it is large and mostly professionals, women and people I have known since I came into the rooms. not that those people cant be creeps, but I know more of them and feel safe there.

anyway, I am off to the pool (indoor, of course!), and then home to do some work.

peace!

[retteacher]

January 2014 - AA Thread

BG: We've had problems w/13th stepping in some of our groups. I brought the issue to the GSR meeting to hear what other groups do about it. The emphatic response: When it makes a woman/man feel uncomfortable, he/she should speak to a trusted old-timer of the same gender. That old-timer should take the offender aside & speak strongly to him/her. From what I understand, it can happen to either gender.

We've had people boycott meetings, because they feel uncomfortable for some personal reason. it's not a good idea to do that. Meetings are supposed to be safe places for EVERYONE.

I haven't had this happen to me, as I'm pretty old, & my husband has come to open meetings w/me. Most of the members have gotten to know him well.

I think it's a good idea to pal around w/women you feel comfortable with. Sometimes women call me & ask to meet up w/me at a meeting. We have very few good women's meetings around here, so I don't like the idea that meetings aren't available to everyone.

Just my thoughts on all this. mary

[sunshine_gg]

January 2014 - AA Thread

Meeting tonight was great! 2 5-year birthdays and a really great speaker.
I feel very grateful and honoured to be a part of and witness to that.

Sol... that's awesome news about your youngster! :l
Oh.. and Garden?? What the heck is that!? :H

[retteacher]

January 2014 - AA Thread

Another good speaker last night. She talked about a relapse she had after 14 years. She didn't drink but did start to smoke pot & stopped going to meetings. She had a non-alcoholic bottom & eventually resumed meetings & her program (& stopped smoking pot as well). It's always good to hear about coming back from a relapse. If I can do it, anyone can. M

[SlipperyPete]

January 2014 - AA Thread

Speaking of other drugs, I've recently had some cravings to do psychedelics, ecstasy, or weed. I feel like I'm done drinking, but part of me really wants to do peyote or something for the spiritual experience. Maybe I'll always have a certain desire to change my consciousness sometimes.

I started my eighth step yesterday, which is perfect, since I started my ninth step a few days ago. For some reason I've just had the urge to get these amends over with, so I went ahead and got started with them on my own. I don't know if anyone else started feeling "dirty" on the inside after step 7, but I'm pretty sure that was my higher power letting me know I need to "clean" myself up with amends. Felt shitty, but it's worked.

[retteacher]

January 2014 - AA Thread

Pete: I love cleaning up on the inside. I recently had a 10th step experience w/my brother. I admitted that I had been dishonest about something. It was hard to do, but now I don't have anything cluttering up my head. Thus, I feel spiritually clean. I do have to watch out for wanting him to clear up his side of the matter. I can't control whether he will do that or not...probably he won't. The important thing is that I have admitted my part.

These steps are simple but very difficult to do sometimes.

As far as changing my consciousness: I really want to live in the real world. It didn't work for me to try to alter it to fit my needs. I think the hardest part of sobriety is accepting life just as it is.

You're probably wonderful just as you are. Work on accepting yourself. Take care. Mary

[bettygirl]

January 2014 - AA Thread

I didn't have a lot of amends. the people I hurt were aware of everything when I admitted I was an alcoholic and started meetings. they forgave me and we talked openly about what I had done in the past...it was a great feeling to have nothing to hide.

I hear you about wanting to alter your consciousness, pete. I have those feelings too. but I feel like I don't want to hide anything anymore, and that is something I would want to hide from my family. I hid my drinking for years, and I would probably spiral back like the woman mary was talking about who relapsed with pot...I would end up in a bad place. I think it is kind of a human desire to alter the mind...I try to do it in ways that I can within my own body. I like strenuous exercise and being in nature...I also like a phenomena called "asmr"...it is "tingles" that you feel when you hear music you love, or a certain kind of voice that hits that sweet spot in the brain. certain sounds do it for me too. you can look it up on youtube...it seems weird at first, but its relaxing and interesting...kind of like meditation, in a way.

anyway

peace!

[Hopeful2014]

January 2014 - AA Thread

Hello, all! I am on Day 14, and have been reading the forum for a couple of weeks. I haven't posted much at all, because I wanted to get the feel of the people here, first. Goodness, lots of nice and supportive people!! Anyway, I just found this thread today. I was planning on attending a Beginners AA meeting tonight. I've been to AA meetings before, for other people, but never for myself. I read y'alls post about a 13th stepper - and googled it because I had no idea what that was. OMG!!! I decided to stay home tonight! LOL. I think my first meeting will need to be a women's only meeting. Is the 13th stepping as bad as it sounds in all the stuff I hit in google?! It's just despicable that people would take advantage of new people like that. What can you do to protect yourself? Thanks!

[Solitaire]

January 2014 - AA Thread

Hopeful2014, I just replied on that thread...
Without AA, I don't even want to begin thinking what my life would've been like today!!
Hugs xxx

[Hopeful2014]

January 2014 - AA Thread

Thanks! I'll go check it out.

[retteacher]

January 2014 - AA Thread

Hopeful: Yes, there is 13th stepping, but it's not rampant. Where there are human beings, there is bound to be some flirting. I've heard about it but never experienced it. I definitely wouldn't avoid meetings because of it. A beginner's meeting would be a fine start. They are usually held w/the express purpose of welcoming & informing the beginner. I doubt you'd find 13th stepping there. In fact, most meetings are safe places to be. So again, go to a meeting. If you get uncomfortable, come here & ask questions. Or, if you find another older female member w/plenty of sobriety, ask her about it. I think if you identify yourself as someone who is trying to get sober, you'll get plenty of genuine help. Don't let preconceived notions hold you back.

I wanted to stop drinking for years & years. I hid my drinking & was a functioning alcoholic. I came here to MWO in 2007, but still couldn't stop for good. I really needed a fellowship in order to stop drinking. I needed to openly admit my alcoholism. I needed a place where I could get & stay honest about my life. I've made many friends in AA, & I know that wo/it, I wouldn't be sober today.

Mary

[bettygirl]

January 2014 - AA Thread

yep, just like in life, there are people in AA who will try to take advantage of vulnerable people. just be aware and if anyone makes you uncomfortable, avoid them or go to a different meeting. if it still happens you can go to the group conscience meeting and raise the issue. don't let anyone take advantage of you, and like in life, be aware! its a shame that this happens, and usually to vulnerable newcomers, but AA is a microcosm of society, so there are going to be folks who are less than proper. also find meetings that you feel comfortable in. there are also women only meetings, you can call the AA hotline to find them.

peace!

[Hopeful2014]

January 2014 - AA Thread

Well, shoot!! My reply timed out and is gone, so I will keep this short!

Thanks, Mary and Betty - I will attend a meeting in the next couple of days and let y'all know how it went. The accountability should get me out of the car and into the meeting! LOL

:thanks:

[acadiaofmaine]

January 2014 - AA Thread

Hi All,

So here's a story the speaker told at my AA meeting today:

A woman in his home group told him that a few months ago, she was in Grand Central Station, getting ready for a trip. She found herself unbearably anxious. She was 22 years sober so used all the tools she had learned along the way to calm herself. Counting breaths, meditating, as much as you can in Grand Central, etc. Nothing worked and she was beginning to think about picking up.

Instead, she went to the information booth in the middle of the station, and asked the guy manning the booth to use his microphone, and ask "is anyone here a friend of Bill?" He blasted out the question, and after a bit, a man appeared, an AA member, who spent time with this woman. They both had a great conversation, and then moved on.

So, the universality of humanity is right there, in Grand Central!

Ann

[SlipperyPete]

January 2014 - AA Thread

Betty I checked out asmr a little bit on YouTube. One of the women was burning incense, whispering, and moving the smoke with her hands Didn't quite see what the point was as all the asmr videos were at least 20 minutes long, but I'm guessing it has something to do with Wiccans .

You guys are making me paranoid about 13th stepping now. At the monday meeting I went to, there was a woman who said that she was there for her first meeting, and wanted to check it out for support. After the meeting, I was outside talking to her by myself, and was kind of looking around to wait for the mob of women telling me I shouldn't be talking to her :H

I've been having a lot of problems lately with self-talk. It really feels like my mind is out to get me. More specifically, it feels like my HP is constantly bringing me down. There's got to be a reason for this. I've read some books and articles lately about self-talk and self-acceptance, but I keep getting all these negative messages and it's driving me insane. I know I could be so much happier without all this negativity, but it keeps popping up. Hopefully it'll be over soon!