Gentle January ~ AF Week 2

[cyntree]

Gentle January ~ AF Week 2

Good Sunday to all -Well, I am just going to make a blanket apology for anything that I repeat. Holy Cow, it is alarming to not recollect things correctly.

Dream - thank you so much for the pictures! That village looks quite tidy, and what you describe is interesting - is there no central gathering place? Dill - maybe you remember from the book that you read. How other cultures live is fascinating, and eye-opening. To see how 'much' is just 'enough'.

OK, I'm fairly sure that I have not talked about the latest issue here at my house: my 6 year old male has suddenly developed a taste for poop. I think this is the result of his 'cousin' (SD's miniature poodle) deciding on recent visits that it was great fun to bring 'poopsicles' into the house (on 2 separate visits), as a gift for us all, I guess. Well, of course we humans made such a huge fuss about it - I think you can imagine - that boy dog must have thought to himself - 'wow, this poop stuff must be something REALLY special', and henceforth decided that it was a delicacy. I've done a lot of reading, and basically I'm hoping to eliminate the behavior by (among other things) eliminating the poop. So, now it's a race out the door for all of us, with me dressed in whatever i can grab in the moment.

Here's an excerpt from my email this morning to SD:
"Dogs are OK - really bored, I think. Between the rain and the cold temps, we have not gotten out a lot, and they are getting nutty. Yesterday Sashie was out in the far reaches (my fault - no ecollar on) chowing down on something; probably deer poop. WHAT IS IT ABOUT POOP? This morning we added a new twist to my poop-buster outfit: a head lamp. Zander pooped at 4 am this morning, so I thought I would get it before he did on the 6:30 potty trip (dark out). Unfortunately, the headlamp is meant only to light areas about 2 feet away. Here's the mental picture: robe sticking out under the ski jacket, your Dad's boots on, me with scoop and rake at the ready, roaming around the yard bent over like a cromagnin humanoid. Sheesh. And came up empty. I'm starting to thing that my obsession with this is far outdoing the dog's..."

Hey ho the glamorous life! Wishing all a happy AF day! (Dill and Star - sending you special energy to cope)

[Lavande]

Gentle January ~ AF Week 2

'poopsicles' cyn :H :H
I have had many dogs bring them in over the years! Even worse, IMO was Matilda sneaking in a dead & bloody field mouse & jumping on my bed with the white comforter. Yeah, I threw that thing out
Don't stress about the memory thing - it takes time but it will come back

Keep living the good life!!

[Lavande]

Gentle January ~ AF Week 2

It's Monday morning - wakey wakey!!!!!

Chilly here in Lav-land but expecting a warm up later.
I hope to get back to my normal routine today, the last two weeks have been odd, to say the least.

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Monday.
Papmom, good luck returning to work today, take it easy

Lav

[cyntree]

Gentle January ~ AF Week 2

Morning all!

Well Lav, it's you and me here this morning. Yes, a little nippy here, but supposed to be around 40 for a high today - I'm having trouble adjusting to this up and down - but this gives me a chance to go buy weather-stripping and have another go at winterizing some doors and windows. I have a feeling the cold temps will be back.

Back to business again today, though I worked late last night on a special project, website work for HB. (thanks Sunni for that other web builder software, I'll check it out.) Going to start on '13 taxes now - we got hit with a terrible tax bill that we should have been prepared for (estimated taxes), but somehow we hadn't faced the facts. Well, we're facing them now, eeek. No more surprises like that, and Sergeant Cyn is commandeering the checkbook from now on.

Hoping to do a finish color paint on the famous bead-board wall tonight. Getting the last of the primer into the nooks and crannies of the bead-board almost wrecked my hand yesterday and I had to stop. More rollering today!

Lav - I would love to know the supps that your daughter is taking. I've eliminated gluten, soy, refined sugar, and most dairy...I'm hoping to see results soon. Thanks for the poop stories, I don't feel so alone now:

Good luck with family dynamics today Star and Dill. Rusty, hope that you are traveling safely. PMom, stay centered and go slowly today - hope it's a good return to work. Dream - keep enjoying that sunshine! Jolie, DD - take care. Wishing all a great AF day.

[DreamThinkDo]

Gentle January ~ AF Week 2

Good afternoon friends!

Lovely and busy Monday here; hope everybody had a good weekend!

Cyn, the village will have a meeting place - in Botswana it's called a kgotla, we have lekgotla and various other terms in SA. Very often dikgotla take place under a tree - it's generally not a formal structure - but it almost always has a circular or semi-circular wall low stone wall.

Oh, Lav, did I laugh at you being the cable TV lady!

Dill and Star, I really hope the boomerang kids situation gets resolved soon; you are doing an incredible amount of things for them, but they should understand that you are entitled to your own life and privacy as well. Sorry, it does sound a bit harsh - I meant what I said in a nice way way.

A few more thing on my to-do list that I have to tick off...

Have a lovely AF Monday, everybody - the mentioneds and the unmentioneds!

[Stargazerlily]

Gentle January ~ AF Week 2

Hey all...

Made it through Monday, I really thought I had posted, don't know what happened to it. It was warmer yesterday, but back to colder temps and snow later in the day. Well, it IS January.

DTD, being AF seems to agree with you. It is amazing how much better we all sound and feel when AF, how could we even think of drinking again, and yet we do. It is the insanity part of this whole situation. As far as having adult kids come home, it should be cut and dried, but it isn't. Money is at the root of it. My son works full time, but the cost of living puts him at poverty level. Rents are so high, it is just hard to be on your own. I remember when we were young, rents were much more in line compared to income, therefore, more young people moved out and stayed out. Me being one of them.

Lav, hope your day is smooth and enjoyable.

Cyn, sounds like you are doing well, just busy and healing. I get anxious around tax time too, we pay sooo much but it is never enough. Interesting about the food preferences for you. My friend is trying to stay gluten free, thought, this is making no difference, so went on a wheat binge. She was in shock as she felt so ill. Food does matter and we each have our own sensitivities. I love a website called Slow Motion Miracle that is about a women who has MS, eats plant based whole foods and over time has improved and healed through diet. She is also an artist and really good writer, you might enjoy her blog. I do.

Hey Dill, where are you? Hope things are going better than OK. Let us know.

Hello to all, Rusty, hope you are no longer in Chicago.

[Rusty]

Gentle January ~ AF Week 2

DreamThinkDo Is 90 Days AF!!

CONGRATULATIONS, DREAM, I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!:yay::yougo: I love having you here....being from SA....you add culture, zest and bling to our thread. When I finish reading your posts on our thread....I pop over to the Army to see what you REALLY have been up to. In a rush now but I will post later.

Star-I am happy that your son is moving out. What a relief for you. I can only imagine the stress it puts on your marriage.

Cyn-ah, from stressful job to mounds of dog poop. Your life is never dull. I bet you'll be glad never to see another poopsicle again. :-)

Lav-I cracked up when you said you were sitting on the couch staring at YB. I laughed even harder when Dill asked if he had spent the night...knowing that no, he just needed your TV to watch football. What, he can't afford cable at his apartment? Well, now, you have managed to manage him, so if it works for you, I say go for it...but next time, make him take you out for an expensive dinner.

Dill-I loved loved loved the ER quote. Thanks! How do I manage the free wine in the Sky Club? They changed their brand of wine about 4 years ago and now they have this cheap stuff. YUCK!! Good thing I was ALWAYS a picky drinker....never drank booze I didn't like just because it was there....fortunately. No, it's not hard for me to turn down the free AL....I love being able to accomplish boatloads of work, and any AL just slows me down and turns me into an unmotivated blob of goo. But believe me, when I drank, I took advantage of it. But also, I wasn't stupid about it when I finally decided my last quit was going to be my LAST. I didn't renew my membership to the Sky Club, and I purposely planned arriving at the airport just in time to make my flight so I wouldn't have time to even think about paying a daily fee to get into the Sky Club. Also, I'm still vulnerable. One of my favorite foods was always Planter's Cocktail Peanuts. Perfect with my wine...and I cannot buy peanuts anymore or even have them on the plane because they are a trigger for me. Weird, huh?

Big hellos to everyone else: Jolie, hope you're doing well....and anyone I've forgotten,
hope you have a great AF Tuesday. I leave Idaho today, and travel the rest of the week. Pray for me!:H

[Lavande]

Gentle January ~ AF Week 2

Good morning friends,

All dark & cloudy here, rain on the way - better than snow

I am taking my car in for a recall service today. I can't even explain what the part is that's being replaced (something in the transmission I think). Just hope I'm not sitting there for hours & waiting. I'm not very good at sitting still :H

Star, it has been hard for our kids to afford rent - basic rent, nothing fancy. I hope your son enjoys his new place.

Rusty, YB isn't living in an apartment. I think it's more of a cave, no cable service available :H
I'm not trying to manage him at all but I am protecting my boundaries like never before. He can do whatever the hell he wants to do provided he respects my turf - he's learning.
Travel safely today.

Greetings to everyone & sending wishes for a great AF Tuesday.
I'll take my iPad with me & hop on the wifi at the car dealership

Lav

[dill]

Gentle January ~ AF Week 2

Hello All, Yesterday just got away from me! All is well here.

DTD, having adult children in the home is dificult. It's hard to find the right balance a lot of times. My son actually is very appreciative and respectful. It's just hard having two families under one roof. Like Star's son, mine tends to be a bit slobbish and disorganized, but he keeps his sloppiness limited to his own living space. In ours and in common areas he keeps things picked up and he helps with kitchen chores and bringing in the wood for our woodstove. He will be moving out as soon as he can,, but it's difficult in this economy. I am not at all sure he can handle the pressures of being a single parent, too. In some ways it is good that he is here so we can share the load. But he really wants and needs his independence.

Rusty, I can relate to the peanut trigger. It's funny, isn't it, the things that are triggers. I have a glass that is a trigger. I still use it for juice, but never-the-less, it sometimes sparks cravings and thoughts just by my looking at it! It's good you realize how al just slows you down and stomps on your productivity. Even better that you choose to kick it to the curb so that you can keep that positive energy! I love the E.R. quotes. I went looking for them because of Cyn mentioning the documentaries she was watching. I think Churchill has some really good quotes too.

Star, What I am having a problem with is boundaries, I suppose, but not my own. It's my hb stepping in where I don't think he belongs. We have had charge of the children for 2 months while my son was in treatment. Now that he is back home, he is the parent. My hb doesn't agree with some of the things my son lets the kids do, mosty the bedtime schedule. It's not really that my son is wrong in what he sets, but my hb thinks he is and hb gets quite critical and judgemntal. I have to hear about it. Also, hb is still working out his major feelings of anger and disappointment with our son for having the issues he has with substance abuse. He is very harsh and critical of him in general. He doesn't say it to my son so much as he constantly gripes to me. The negativity isn't good for any of us.

Cyn and Lav, I have had dogs over the years that have thought of cat poo as quite a delicacy. Cow pies, too. But I've never had one that ate dog poo. And that's all I am going to offer on that subject!:H

Let's all have a great AF Tuesday!:h

[Rusty]

Gentle January ~ AF Week 2

Hey there, just popping back in to make a clarification.

Lav-when I said the word "manage" I meant deal with YB to protect yourself, and absolutely I was thinking that you have set boundaries so that you don't re-enter that co-dependent mode. My mom used the word "manage" A LOT living with my dad. The term "setting boundaries" when it came to relationships was unheard of back then. My mom had
to "manage" living with my dad, etc. I just wanted didn't want you to think I thought you were trying to control him, that's all. You have had a positive effect on him, whether he admits it or not. ;-)

[Lavande]

Gentle January ~ AF Week 2

No worries Rusty :H
I have NEVER tried to control YB - no way. I always figured he was his own problem, his own responsibility
Although I have too often thought he was looking for me to exert some sort of control over him. He used to use terms like 'I feel like I'm spiraling out of control'. Really?? Well then you'd better do something about that - was always my response

Dill, I broke any glass around here that had a history or simply threw them out when I dumped the last of the wine. That felt like the right thing to do
I recognize the manly urge to judge & attempt to correct every/any situation that doesn't seem quite right to our husbands where our kids are concerned. I hear it all too - you are not alone in that boat. I hear your discomfort

I have to keep faith that all of our kids will pull it together when the time is right for them & not necessarily for their parents :H
I pray for all of us :H

[Rusty]

Gentle January ~ AF Week 2

Lav, thanks for the quick RSVP. Hahah! On plane now and headed for home, AF.
I will catch up with all of you tomorrow night. Long commute of 2.5 hrs. To work tomorrow. Hoping you are all having a peaceful AF Tuesday.

[DreamThinkDo]

Gentle January ~ AF Week 2

Morning Friends

Rusty, thanks again for starting my 90 day thread - it was totally unexpected and I appreciate it so much!

Overcast here at the moment, but it won't last long.

Apologies - can't talk - there's some bad English that must be turned into good Afrikaans.

Have a lovely AF WEdnesday, each and everybody

[Stargazerlily]

Gentle January ~ AF Week 2

Good morning to all...

Lav, we can't control our husbands or kids, that is for sure. It is really hard in this economy to make ends meet unless you have a really good paying job and they are hard to come by. Also, the gadgets that are taken for granted really add up: cable, cell phones, etc. Yet, it is vital to keep up with technology. I too pray and have faith that they will all figure life out on their terms.

Rusty, what a lot of traveling. I noticed too that alcohol slowed me down. Period. Looking back it is unbelievable what we did to ourselves, how difficult our lives were, just to drink.

DTD, congrats on the 90 days. I second the motion of Rusty that you add pizazz to our thread.

Dill, I hear you. My husband and I disagree on how to manage/set boundaries with our son. It is hard.

More snow here, yuck. I was soooo busy yesterday, will be working hard today too. Wishing you all a great AF hump day.

[cyntree]

Gentle January ~ AF Week 2

Happy Hump Day, all! (here's to you Sooty, wherever you are...)

DTD - Afrikaans? You're a translator? How very interesting; I'd love to hear more about your work process, if you ever feel comfortable. I'm doing a lot of reading about brain 'mind mapping', and language in particular is such a fascinating and complex subject. Hope you have a fine sunny day today.

Lav - oh, I could really take a big dose of Lavanitude. I would like to know what books and programs you've been feeding YB over the years - I have some people close to me that are stricken with their negativity and anxiety, and I'd like to be able to suggest some tools to them.

Yesterday I had a welcome break in the daily grind here. A dear girl-friend (or as close as I come to that) needed to take an early train to NYC, so she overnighted here. I actually made dinner, lit candles, and sat at the table for a meal. We talked and talked about life issues - it was very good for me.

Between cleaning up all the painting, getting the guest room ready, and shopping and making dinner, I'm behind on my work schedule, so I'd best be off now. Wishing all a safe day - Star, so sorry that the weather has been so harsh. Rusty - good luck with your long commute today. Dill - hang in there. PMom, good luck with work. Hi to Jolie and DD, and anyone I missed.