af Day Monday 27 Jan

[porqoui]

af Day Monday 27 Jan

kuya;1619348 wrote: It is like finding a photograph of an ex with whom the relationship was intense and the break-up rough.....a day comes when it is simply a photograph, provoking memories but no emotions.....unless you WANT it to!

Totally agree KY.

[Samstone]

af Day Monday 27 Jan

Thanks Kuya and PQ. It was a lonely feeling.... I get that way from time to time. I was a loner drinker too. I wish I could reach out at the time but I don't. But it is over with! As Lav says: protect your quit, so I have to protect myself from myself at times...sheesh!

[treetops]

af Day Monday 27 Jan

I haven't has this feeling for a long time but I haven't had any major emotional challenges either. I know I am most susceptible when I am depressed or have a very bad shock or loss. I honestly don't know how I would react - one reason why I try not to judge others who turn back to drink when its really rough for them.. I am not saying I would do this but in all truth I just don't know how I would handle major grief these days.

Big hug Sam - we are virtual friends but its genuine, Sometimes, I know, we can't reach out to those around us who love us. I bet the weather doesn't help you either.

[YoungAtHeart]

af Day Monday 27 Jan

Makes sense to me, Sam. I'm glad you got past those feelings. I tend to isolate when I get down, so I'm glad you wrote about it.

Everyone is right though. It does get easier, although you have to maintain your vigilance.

I was daydreaming about having a small property a couple of weeks ago and keeping bees. From there I imagined learning to make mead. It would be nice to drink a little now and again, right? It's got such a low alcohol content. Well, I daydreamed about this off and on for a few days until I realized what a sweet, treacherous little web I was weaving for myself that I could "someday" drink again. NOT!!! It can be so insidious sometimes. I know now that I have to nip those kinds of thoughts right in the bud.

Anyway, Kuya, I've got to say, it is great to see you contributing regularly again.

To everyone else, hugs.

I must admit, my stupid family is in the middle of high drama right now, one sister threatening to sue the other and inventing nefarious reasons to try to get her daughter back to live with her (daughter doesn't want to live with her). I know there is nothing I can do, and I am trying to maintain some perspective about it, but it isn't easy. They are starting to sound like people you might see on the Jerry Springer show. (Someone please explain to our friends around the globe.) Ugh! I know it is not a reflection on me, but somehow, I can't help but feeling some shame about my family right now. I cannot believe the shit that my one sister is stooping to, and I have to remind myself that she is mentally ill. At any rate, I don't think I'm in danger of drinking right now. I tend to handle the crises okay; but I then want to reward myself when things let up. I will be on my guard.

Whew, glad to get that out there. I'm hurting, so forgive me if I'm silent or a little self-absorbed. It's better than hiding.

Thanks,
:l
YahYah

[scottish lass]

af Day Monday 27 Jan

Hi, long busy day at the grindstone - not on call this week so hopefully get some good nights sleeps.
Mick, cost of postage is crazy, or I would be begging for a packet!
Supper cooking, smells good - not thistle soup though:H it has a nice peppery flavour to it, yummy!
Hope all are hanging in in the heat or the cold - and we are still dry with the chance of rain on Thursday - lots of praying and dancing going on in these parts!! Roads will be a bugger with no rain in months...

[treetops]

af Day Monday 27 Jan

Good on you for getting it out Yah.:jumpin:

But not good that your family is causing so much tension.

Funny - I found it easiest to break my AL associations with the celebrations and the 'up' moments first. Its the down/gloom/ and the blah/bored/grey bits that took much longer to work at for me. AL was my survival crutch.

and now I have thistle soup to look forward to. But not tonight. Its zucchini pancakes I think in this house - can't put that down to my Scottish heritage!
Actually I first found this way of eating Zuchhinis years ago in a Moosewood cookbook. Any of you old-timers know what I mean (I bet Lav does? Sam - I bet you and your wife have one in the pantry???)

[YoungAtHeart]

af Day Monday 27 Jan

I don't know about zucchini pancakes, TT, but I do know that I love zucchini fritters, which may be about the same thing.

[Determinator]

af Day Monday 27 Jan

Happy un-hung Monday ABerooooos!

finally got my shoes off and tucked into a hotel somewhere in the San fran freako peninsula.

TTops, what a crazy day you had. I'm not a card player either, I tend to get bored.

Mick, how do I know what kind of thistle? aren't those covered in thorns?

YAH, brace yourself with the 'drama shield' (as seen on tv)

day one on the road and I already miss my kitchen sooo much. had a dinner that was a culinary tragedy.... blugh! better luck tomorrow night I hope.

Sam, kudos on seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. fellow isolator here. also drank alone. just wanted to be in my dark painful place alone. So glad we aren't there anymore.

the drive over the Sierra mountains was glorious and sunny. Listened to some Ekhart Tolle on CD and found my really serene happy place

be well peeps!

[narilly]

af Day Monday 27 Jan

Hugs Sam. Glad you got through that.

Yayah, that's a tough situation. Good thing you are not in the middle of it.

[Samstone]

af Day Monday 27 Jan

TT
yep we got of those Moosewood cookbooks and it was awhile back!