Russia wants to join Europe.
Whether we like it or not.
I see the Russian army is now conducting drills on Finland's border.
Or as Putin calls it, "window shopping."
I'm glad the Sahara dust is arriving in Middlesbrough tomorrow. It'll be nice to breathe fresher air for a change.
My wife said to me, ' have you noticed that all the sparkle,the excitement and even the sex has gone out of our marriage ? '
' Can we talk about this at half time, ' I replied.
We've got an eight foot dinnerlady at work.
She's our longest serving employee.
I was sitting in a strip club when an Oriental stripper came and sat on my knee, "You want some fun?" she whispered in my ear.
"That depends." I replied, "What's your name, and how much you charging?"
She said, "Penny, and sixty notes."
"Well." I said taking her by the hand, "That seems quite reasonable Miss Notes. Shall we?"
After a night's heavy drinking I found I couldn't get my TV to work.
So I got a bus instead.
Be careful out there today everybody, it's the hottest day of the year.
Mind you don't scald yourself on that f.cking rain.
Comment