Thursday tenf ov April

[Determinator]

Thursday tenf ov April

well huppy fursday then ABerooos!

still not my chipper zippy self but getting there. a super busy work day didn't help but thankfully i'm home.
tomorrow we have the trash trailer coming to load away thousands of pounds (literally) of rubbish. going to be a heck of a day!

sorry to not be so personal today, just so distracted and tired.

catch you all soon. be well

[TheSunFlower]

Thursday tenf ov April

Jumping in late and tired.

Bear.....don't let it become a self-fulling prophecy. I kept being told that apparently I wasn't in enough pain or hit bottom yet because I was still drinking. I almost tried to drink myself to the bottom, so that I could finally be convinced that I was that bad and needed to stop.

Since I had actively tried to reach bottom and failed at that too.....what scared the shit out me? I was going to freaking live like that FOREVER. The back and forth.

I had made decisions to never quit drinking. There good....decided. Except that never worked out. Quitting and sticking with will mostly likely be at the very top of my accomplishments on my deathbed. That one decision that has to be made every single day.....has the power to change the my present and future. And I am not talking 20 year future.....it determines whether 10 hours later I feel like shit emotionally and physically.

I was done showing up for life drunk or hungover.

[treetops]

Thursday tenf ov April

SF - its like being in 'limbo' (excuse the biblical ref) isn't it - when you want to quit but can't quite do it - and you haven't reached 'rock bottom' - what a distraction that last phrase is from getting on with the business of just quitting

[bear73]

Thursday tenf ov April

SF, thanks for posting lots to think about there, posting at the end of Friday,my day four.
I'm not happy to and froing, or drinking,hence the to and froing so its obvious really when I think about it.

[paulywogg]

Thursday tenf ov April

I'm with you bear,i'm so sick of the start/stop cycle,the do i or dont i,over it!