Magical AF May

[Stargazerlily]

Magical AF May

Good morning...

OK day yesterday. Had a realtor over to interview and ask her opinion. Thought my house was in pretty good shape except for a few things that I already guessed we need to do. So, when I get a chance, make another list with my husband and get going.

Lav, you really explained the situation well. You put YB first, he did not put you first. It has to hurt to have a husband who is not loving, whose goal in life is to please himself, not to make you happy. There has to be balance (self-care and love of spouse) but if people don't want to change, they won't. To survive in that environment, it is wise to detach emotionally, or you get beat up. Or maybe you drink. Right now you have lots of loving doggies, kids, grandkids to care about, love and be loved by. I love how you chose positive thoughts, accept what is, and enjoy what you have.

Dill, how interesting about the calf. Hope the situation keeps getting better. I listened to the Bubble hour with the addiction doctor. He talks really fast so I need to listen to it again. Very interesting about our brains...how they change, making it rough in the beginning to abstain. My understanding is that total abstinence is the best way and only way to heal the brain. Also, the part about needing a social group bettering your chances of success. Socializing is scientific. I will look into the Good Hour. Thanks.

Cyn, lots of ticks in your area? What a lot of work to stay Lyme free, I would be really careful, too. Cyn have we discussed the Bubble Hour with you? It is a podcast about people in recovery, so interesting and helpful.

Lots of things to do today, hope your days go well.

[Lavande]

Magical AF May

Good morning friends!

Didn't get up until almost 7 am - woo hoo :H
Here's hoping this is the beginning of Matilda's latest stage of development :H

As usual, my day of no plans yesterday turned in a fun day with all three grandkids here with their mothers & YB as well. The kids played outside while the adults finally got the 7 blueberry bushes planted :yay: Several of the plants are flowing so I may just get a few blueberries this year!

Star, I know how intense it is to prep your house for sale. Good to have a checklist to work on, one day at a time, right?

Cyn, I've already pulled two ticks off of Matilda. Strange as it's been so cool & damp
Staying away from ticks & poison ivy is high priority for me as well!

Dill, great to hear your calf is coming along.
Good luck with the red beans & rice recipe. It's a bit different but I really liked the tropical flavor.

Hey there Papmom, watching you on Facebook lady

Have a great day AF one & all!

Lav

[cyntree]

Magical AF May

Hi all -

Dill, what good news about the calf! And how interesting what you say about judgement sliding later in the day...I can say that my judgement started to slide before the first drink, and that was the biggest problem. My days are so full now that I can't imagine how I did it before -- though I still feel sad/bad when my energy flags...that was a big trigger for me. Now I put on my hiking shoes and get outdoors. It's so good that I did my training specifically in the bad weather - wind, cold, rain - so that I would be prepared for the coast walk. As it happened, the coast walk was often not as windy, or cold! Anyway, I can pretty much venture out now undaunted by whatever the weather is. That alone makes me feel strong.

Getting back into a work groove is really challenging, I'm not sure what's going on, but I guess this is just one of the times to notice what is going on, and keep moving forward.

I'm starving now after a little hike, so I'm off to make hummus at home for the first time; thanks Lav!

Lav, I feel just as Star does, that I'm happy you have so much love coming at you from other family members. So sorry about YB, but I guess you have learned a tremendous amount about life and yourself in the detachment and realistic vision. Sending you lots of MWO light!

Star - you are really moving at warp speed, good for you. Take good care of yourself, and don't worry about bringing things with you that really matter. I've hauled around 7 large smooth stones (from the shores of Lake Superior) since 1999. No one is going to take those away from me!

Cheers all for a good AF evening. More painting in store for me...

[dill]

Magical AF May

Good evening All,

Lav, the rice turned out great and even Mr. D liked it! He's not a fan of meatless meals, but he gave it the thumbs up. Nice flavor!

Cyn, You sound so strong and energetic! I think your walking training has done you a world of good! Do you feel it has helped with your fibromyalgia? Interesting that feeling sad when your energy flags served as a trigger. I can relate to that. Much of my reason for drinking was to avoid stress or negative feelings, exhaustion being one of those.

Star, I had to listen to that show with Dr. John Kelly twice too. You are right that he talked fast. But I really did like the science behind things. I also liked his focus on the need to eliminate the stigma of being labeled an alcoholic because many people avoid treatment early on because of it. The disease progresses while they put off seeking help. There was another show I liked where the discussion again was the topic of the stigma. It was an interview with Greg Williams, the maker of a documentary called, "The Anonymous People". They talked about the need to change the way we talk about alcoholism, using more positive terminology. After listening to Dr. Kelly and then this documentary filmaker, I have shifted my view of alcoholism. I do believe now that it is a medical condition, disease if you will. I used to be skeptical of that view.

Calf is still getting stronger and thriving. Mother cow is becoming more accepting but the calf actually seems to be having a hard time figuring out how to nurse because he has gotten used to the bottle. Fingers crossed that he figures it out, and soon!

[cyntree]

Magical AF May

Just jumping back on to say 'yum!' on the hummus recipe (I didn't manage to make it too smooth, but it is tasty.)

Also, I was just sitting here thinking about your transition, Star, and wondering how your son is feeling about the move - how is he doing, is he in a stable place right now? Will this move take you closer or farther away from your Dad? It's all so interesting, isn't it?

Hope everyone is having a good night --

[Lavande]

Magical AF May

I guess I'm earning a reputation around here - just call me Bean Girl :H

Glad you guys are enjoying some of these recipes. I am slowly but surely turning everyone around me into a bean-head
Cooking dried beans from scratch is simple, cheap & saves not only $$ but cuts out lots of sodium too. And don't forget the BPA nonsense from the cans. I found Hanover brand red beans & black beans in the frozen food department at the supermarket if you're in a rush

Cyn, just keep processing the hummus, adding a little more EVOO or water till you get the consistency you like. I make all kinds of bean spreads & use them like peanut butter on sandwiches!!

I'm really glad you guys understand why I am the way I am with YB. I truly wish he could be different but it's not my choice to make - it's his. Meanwhile I just operate & maintain day to day.

Glad your calf is coming along Dill. Sounds like getting him off the bottle may be a problem? I wouldn't begin to know how to go about accomplishing something like that.

Star, did I ever mention that we didn't even bother with a realtor when we sold our last house? PM me if you want a full explanation

Where the heck is Papmom? I'll go look for her on Facebook.
I saw some very nice pictures of LBH on Facebook this morning along with her beautiful roses in bloom already!!!!

Good night all!

[Stargazerlily]

Magical AF May

Good morning to all...

Lav, what a fun day. I really want to live closer to my family and continue to work towards that goal. I will PM you regarding selling your house solo.

Dill, I finished listening to Dr. Kelly on the Bubble hour and found it fascinating and informative. I believe that alcoholism is a disease, just like being morbidly obese is a disease, a food addiction. What I like about the site is the hope in the speakers stories. They are living happy, productive lives and have come through hell to get to where they are now. So interesting.

Cyn, it is amazing how exercise contributes to wellbeing and builds on itself. I find the outcome of exercise is more energy, brighter outlook, and wanting to do more. All good. As far as moving goes, I have another realtor today, but the job piece of moving is not going anywhere currently. We have to have jobs to move. period. So, after I clean my house and prep it for viewing, I will tweak my resume and create a cover letter for a job I thought might be interesting. Doing everything online is a pain, but I have done it before and will get resumes out again on my computer. I know you moved within the last few years, can you tell me how you did it? Job first, then move? Do you regret it or are you happy you moved? I would really appreciate hearing your moving story. Thanks.

Took a yoga class yesterday and it was wonderful. All the breathing and stretching was so peaceful and I felt powerful in my body. I think getting your body back is one of the perks of becoming AF. When drinking, your body is always feeling lousy, achy, sick, and AF and with healthy eating and exercise your body becomes your friend. Has anyone else experienced this?

Have a great day.

[Lavande]

Magical AF May

Good morning friends & Happy Hump day!

Of course I feel like a Spring chicken Star - a 60 year old Spring chicken :H
Seriously though, I really do feel a lot better without AL physically & emotionally & most of all spiritually despite the YB stuff
I have been thinking about looking into a yoga class for extreme beginners, maybe at the Y? There's not too many places around here to go for that kind of thing.

I'm getting ready to head out to Curves so I'll just wish everyone a wonderful AF day!!!!!

Lav

[papmom3]

Magical AF May

Hi Everyone, so sorry to be MIA lately. I'm struggling with the psychological effects of being in such dire financial straights. I had to call in sick today. I just couldn't stand another day of just sitting in that chair for 8 hours trying to look busy and feeling the pain in my upper back that sitting brings. I got really depressed yesterday despite going to quilting class at nite. Just needed to cocoon with the dogs today. Tomorrow I have one meeting at least to break up the monotony. I should have been out in the yard today like Cyn but just couldn't get the energy up.

I finally worked out a budget for May that will work, maybe. I'm done to $100 for the month for food and have cut the "kids" food budget drastically. Tough to do with 3 on Rx foods but I have to make it work. I have dinners and breakfasts all set for a few weeks but lunches are where I'll spend most of the money along with fruits and veggies. Rice and beans are definitely on the menu!! Once I get through July things will be a bit more flexible but the sadness of knowing It will be years before I pay my family back and that I probably can never enter another agility trial again is almost unbearable. I worked so hard this year to come back physically from the heart attack just so I could return to the activity I love the most. I only have 2 Qs left to get DD his second title and he's getting older-9 in Oct so time is running out. I'm trying not to think so far and bleakly into the future but it's hard. Especially when most of my day is spend at a job I really get no joy or satisfaction from.
Everyone on this list have found their way out of hardship and bad times so I know I will too. It's just getting through that wall that is hard and will take so long to chip away at it.
Thanks for caring and letting me vent. Hopefully my next post will be a bit happier.

[dill]

Magical AF May

Aw Papmom!:l I wish I could win the lottery and send you a big chunk of $$$! Hang in there and try, try, try not to let it get you down. There is so much to be enjoyed in life even without money. Your family, your friends, your health, your execise, sunsets, sunrises, the beauty of the flowers, birds, and the sky. Try focusing on all the blessings and put your worries in a box. You're doing what you can to turn it around, so let it go. See if this cheers you up, even for a minute:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=d-diB65scQU

Hi Lav, Star and Cyn, I'm short on time but wanted to say I hope you are all enjoying your days!

[papmom3]

Magical AF May

thanks Dill. That was pretty silly and made me smile! I will work on gratit
ude for what I do have.

To start with (It might help to write them down)

1. My 6 months gym membership and my 6 weeks of agility classes compliments of my loving family. Heading out to both in a few minutes.
2. My house, regardless of its shape, it is a roof over my head.
3. My car-all the repairs should last a bit
4. Gas prices may be going down
5. My cardiologist just called-I can take Aleve for my back!! The constant pain may be a contributing factor to my depression. Hopefully the Aleve will take care of it whereas the Tylenol didn't touch it.
6. My pets seem to be turning the corner of their various illnesses.
7. I'm smart and determined and will find a way out of this.
8. I don't drink anymore.
9. I don't drink anymore.
10. I don't drink anymore.

Off to the gym with DD (he stays in the car in the parking garage and then we head to agility class for 7 pm).

[Lavande]

Magical AF May

Papmom, glad I chased you from FB to here

Wait, did I miss something? What's going on with your back? Why are you having pain?
You do know to take the Aleve with food to protect your stomach, right? I tried Aleve a while back & found it caused me to retain water - watch out for that. Hope you feel better soon.
Can I ask something? Does your vet know how tight money is for you right now? And that you've had a heart attack recently & don't need the extra stress?
I've had a situation or two where my vet wanted me to purchase expensive Rx foods for a dog & I just said no! Something homemade can be just as helpful & healthy for your dogs, I would research that & save a lot of money. I really like my vet & trust her skills but it's not my responsibility to pad her bank account.
Take care of your needs first, OK? We all want you to be healthy & happy :l

[papmom3]

Magical AF May

Hi Lav,
Yes, the vet clinic knows money is wicked tight and the vet I worked with most knew about the HA which is why they allowed me to go on a payment plan over 4 months. LM has been on rx food since he was 2 years old due to bladder stones. Now he's got that glomular nephritis condition, the beginning of kidney failure and I have to assume he's still prone to bladder stones even after all these years. I tried the home made diet when he first got diagnosed with bladder stones-made it worse. He had 3 surgeries in 1 year. Since I went with rx food he's been clear and has thrived. DD is on rx food because the high fiber controls his IBD or colitis or whatever it is he's got. I'm slowly trying to transition him back to non Rx food. Timica is on rx food for her failing kidneys but I also buy whatever she'll eat, which isn't much. The vets haven't charged me for the last 3 follow up visits for Mickey's eye. They know I've been with VCA for over 15 years and that my guys are seniors. They are working with me the best they can.
I know this stress isn't good for me and I'm trying to get out of the negative thoughts. I'm doing the best I can with what I've got to keep reminding myself of that fact. I'm too hard on myself for sure.
Had a good workout, not so good agility class. DD definitely needs to go to class at least once a week but we've only got 3 weeks left. He's almost 9 and I don't want to push him if he doesn't like to do this anymore but I really want that 2nd title!! He is tired tonite tho and that's a very good thing. so am I!!

[Stargazerlily]

Magical AF May

Good morning...

Pap, wow, money troubles stink. Hoping your plan works. I loved the gratitude list, it made me feel better. Sorry for all the troubles. I thought your job was a little more interesting than that. Is it just a slow time of year? Of lots of data entry? Wouldn't it be great to think of a way to make money like selling stuff on the internet or writing or something? Any ideas would be welcome.

Lav, anything interesting going on today? I have a full day at work and lunch plans so will be busy all day.

Dill, busy and happy, that's how you sound.

Hi Cyn.

To all, have a great day.

[Lavande]

Magical AF May

Good morning all,

Looks like a dark & damp day here today, oh well.
I have an appointment to get my B/P checked & my med renewed this morning. This afternoon I will be in my shop tending to work stuff.
Most of my sales are via internet, not so many local right now.
If you want to sell anything on the internet the easiest thing to do is put a listing up on ebay or etsy. My little website is now history - long story. I just recently gave up my business domain (was tired of paying for something I couldn't access any longer). ebay may not like it but I've ended up with lots of repeat customers (private sales) through my listings!

Papmom, I hope you can work things out for your pet crew without financially burdening yourself.
I have loved many dogs over the years but I just say no to some of the expensive suggestions. Taking care of yourself has to take priority.

Greetings Star, Dill, Cyn & anyone else dropping by today!
Have a great AF Thursday everyone!

Lav