if it fairs off ..then may get something done in the garden ...apart from that its spraying furniture polish and moving ornaments!!:H
tea and coffee on the go now ..this is my third cup so far...
hiya Sam how are you today then ?still a busy bee..ok I thought it was funny!!..just thought it was a bit weird using sand on that culvert..its not known for is water resistant properties!especially under force
morning Lav...no work ?? whats that all about ???here have a dog flavoured coffee!!!you want to borrow this spray Im whizzing about the place?
hiya Pauly ..hows things with you today?glad little Louie is ok..purple locks etc ..hey never mind the kids ..dont think I would go near her :H
hiya TT Hows Sam Franks today then ?ok I hope ..nice of them to get you a decent brew wasnt it?your time has passed pretty quick hasnt it ..soon be back to the land that time forgot standing on your head!!:H
hiya Det ..how are you today?all ok hey that sounds dodgy....I did a thrust on wet grass, slipped, and ended up unexpectedly doing the splits ..where was the sword whilst you were thrusting?? :H oh yes diy is fun ..me Im trying to learn plastering and tiling ..more chance of floating stones!!
hiya SL ..how are you today?..yep that joke isnt too far from the truth in more ways then one ...remember as a kid having several "discussions " with the cops back home...on several occasions remember ending up with sls ...singing lug syndrome!!off call Friday morning..does that mean you are off work or just off duty on call?
well quite a few lurkers judging by the number of veeyooze!!jump in say hi..for the locals that are missing big shout...righty ho have a great day everyone.
This girl on the bus was talking very loudly into the mobile glued to her ear.
"Excuse me," I said. "The whole bus doesn't want to hear your conversation."
"Chill out man," she replied. "I is jus' rappin' wiv me bro innit?"
I felt really guilty. If I'd known she had learning difficulties I wouldn't have mentioned it.
A guy saw a commercial for lose 5 pounds in 5 days. He called the number and the next day a tight 19 year old wearing nothing but a pair of Nike's shows up. She starts running and says, "When you catch me you can have me." This happened over the next 4 days. The man weighed himself and had lost 6 pounds.
He called the number back and asked for 10 pounds in 5 days. The next day a smoking hot brazilian model shows up wearing nothing but a pair of Reeboks. She starts running, saying "when you catch me you can have me." Again, this happened over the next 4 days. The man weighed himself and had lost 12 pounds.
He called the number one more time and asked for 25 pounds in 7 days. The operator tried to talk him out of it telling him how rigorous it was, but the man insisted. The next day a 400 pound greasy homless looking man shows up wearing nothing but pink nikes.
He said, "Run, when I catch you, you're mine!"
The man lost 40 pounds that week.
I got caught trying ladies underwear on in Marks and Spencer.
"I'm trying them for my other half," I told the guard.
"OK, I thought you were just a pervert," he sighed.
"Oh no, Dave just thinks I'd look sexy in this," I said.
I was ecstatic when I heard that One Direction's Zayn and Louis were seen getting stoned.
Then I got really upset when I realised they were just caught smoking drugs.
Why do the Muppets talk funny?
You would too if you had an arm stuck up your ar.e
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