need to start again

[bear73]

hello , am ver yfrustrated with myself at the moment.constantly resolving to stop smoking/cut down on drinking. yet again I have a hangover, yet again I won't make the gym and feel ill feel a bit bluesy with a hangover.
I had some tests as I have been constantly tired/coldy for a couple of months, they tested liver and kidneys too and they (thankfully) are all fine
I feel motivated to a point, but then it all falls apart.
I did 28 days af in January but I just can't sem to do it now.
I keep trying to remember how good I felt when I was af, I had so much more money too, and time as I wasn't hungover. House is a mess, mountain of washing to do and have missed gym class. I am determined to go to the gym but later when I don't feel so ill.
I've drank about 30 units this week in 3 days, I need real help motivating myself.
I feel that I am stuck in this cycle and I need to break out of it.

[Bella]

need to start again

Hello Bear, I am very familiar with all you say. Self- motivation is a hard one. I think everyone struggles with it. I remember a few months ago sitting at my computer typing to you all and feeling crap and asking for help over motivation. Then I read a post and they were saying exercise was a great help. I could not think of anything worse but....without letting myself think about it, I changed my shoes and went for a run. A short run! I came back feeling energetic, mentally, aswell as phsyically. I was depressed but the run brought air into my lungs and I felt better.

That is my advice to you. Do it, If you can. and let me know how you feel afterwards.

Bella xxx

[Padme]

need to start again

Ditto what Bella said. Exercise helps me immensely. As for the motivation all I can speak to is what was different for me this time -- I really was & wasn't ready to quit, I wasn't thinking about the future of not drinking but I wanted not to be drinking anymore so I dumped it all out of the house and went through a few days of hell. It wasn't really planned this time. And for right now I just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Just do it, don't think.

[lucky 2.0]

need to start again

I like what Padme said- Just do it, don't think. Sounds like something I would say.

I am starting Campral again today. I am so disgusted with myself.

[Otie]

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Hey bear,

You've some greet advice here already. Start with little things. E.g. just go to gym and do not plan to do everything and one thing. And take a day even and hour or a moment at the time.

I am struggling to make start with abstinence as I am on a business trip and been having really heavy days. You are not alone.

Take it easy,
Otie

[Arial]

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Hi Bear,

Apologies but this is actually a quote I just posted in a thread to Moo - hope you don't mind the duplication, but to me this quote really says it all...

"The past does not equal the future.
Because you may not have succeeded a moment ago,
All day today,
or for the last six months,
or for the last sixteen years,
or for the last fifty years of your life
doesn't mean anything.
All that matters is
What are you going to do now?"
(Tony Robbins, US Author)

I like that the focus is on the here and now - the choices we have today and how they will shape our tomorrows. If you want to make changes, you will, but you've got to want it heart, soul, body and mind. When we're feeling sick it's not easy to find the energy either physically or mentally to fight such a tough, unrelenting opponent. You've made fabulous progress over the last months - 28 days is awesome and is crucial in helping you re-find the motivation to continue your journey - you have laid the foundations and now it's finding how to build on them - You're obviously still committed to your new life, so although you're taking a little rest now, don't be despondent - it is all part of the same journey - every day counts whether good or bad because we learn from it and move on. Even when we fall off the wagon it can strengthen our resolve, make us more knowledgeable, give us more ammunition... so you're now one step further forward, so keep going. Tomorrow's another day so you decide where it's going to take you; make plans and stick to them - keep them realistic and attainable - sorry for the cliche but walk before you run! Set yourself up for many little successes - walking past the liquor aisle, taking a walk, spending an hour with a 'drinking buddy' without drinking, go to the gym, visit the spa (I found this a great one as psychologically I could imagine all the toxins leaving my body so when I came out I felt cleansed and didn't want to drink poison!), treat yourself to something new to celebrate your sobriety (hence I didn't actually save much money to start!)...

You've done it before so you can do it again - so rest a while, take time to look back on your achievements then take a deep breath and plan a route to get you restarted - You can do it and you will when you're ready. I really hope you start feeling better soon as that in itself will probably be enough to kick start the process!

Again sorry for being long-winded and almost duplicating another response - it just seemed appropriate...

Take care of yourself and keep posting to let us know how you're getting on. Many :l

[paula]

need to start again

Hi Bear,I do agree with Arial,
Thought you might like this little snippet I read recently.
"You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday"
Take care Love Paula.

[Popeye]

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Hello bear,
nothing to add, just my best wishes.

[irishlady]

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Bear we have all done it... We set off on the path for this great adventure, a rucksack on our back and a song on our lips.. The sun is shinning, our walking boots are still comfortable and the enthusiasm for what we are doing is just bursting out of us...

Then further down the road the sun stops shinning and we have a heavy shower of rain, the walking boots start to rub our heels a bit and the rucksack starts to feel heavy.. You start to wonder if you have made the right decision to begin this journey today, perhaps tomorrow would be better or even next week... Then all of a sudden the rain stops, the sun is shinning again and the birds are singing.. Ahead in the distance you can see some friends of yours who are going the same way as you so you catch them up and all of a sudden the path ahead is far more attractive now and you carry on with your journey..

What I'm trying to say Bear is that there will be hard times for you but you don't sound like a quitter, and now you have caught up with your friends you have company for the rest of the journey, so don't give up..

Love, Louise xxx

[Jules]

need to start again

Bear

I see you are trying to stop smoking/cut down on drinking. Here is some advise my Doctor gave me. Only fight one battle at a time. If you try to fight two you will lose both.

It make sense to me. Maybe me only My goal to try and stop smoking is in July.

As for house being a mess and laundry up the ying yang, thats still my life I wish they made a motivation pill or something for procrastination. Things will get better! Hang in there.

Julie

[MonaCat]

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I am going back on Campral too.
Drinking sucks!
You guys are so helpful and inspiring.
I am going to put on my running shoes.

[bootcampbarbie]

need to start again

wow, so many beautiful attributes, loving vibes and heartfelt words here for you bear and all the rest who read them. thank you for your posts. i remember all the times i overslept and didn't work out and the times i made myself work out hung over. punishment but good. i never heard anyone say gosh i wish i hadn't worked out today. lol. it just plain always feels good to get that body moving in some way shape or form. and i agree about the spa. i bought myself a membership and in honor of not going to be drinking that will be my new activity instead. i will be bootsy spa girl instead. sipping tea and reading my book. no money left for treatments. hahahahah but it's a start.

[SKendall]

need to start again

Ditto to what everyone else has said. It is a complicated issue. We really believe we want to quit and then end up drinking again. Bewilderment and disappointment. Hang in there. It's like depression, just keep moving, exercising, etc. We are with you.:h

[bootcampbarbie]

need to start again

ah the hard part i wasn't able to exercise, so i did have a down day and had wine. but i didn't blast out thanks to the topamax. wow, that's new. so, here i am post surgery laying in bed for the next 5 days. so, can't drink lol cuz i can't move. but i can't wait to be able to get up and walk around. so can't wait. oh and to wash my hair. ohhhhh yeah. so i can't wait to hear from you all tomorrow. now that i'm awake again i can hear what you are all up to. here's to AF in june. smiles