monday June 2

[treetops]

monday June 2

Pauly - as much as we love (and scream at) our mothers - you are not your mother. History does not need to repeat. You are your own person and a fine woman at that too - so you determine what sort of grip AL has on you.

This is a new week - so just get on with the sober business and it will click for you one of these days. Willpower alone is not enough but commitment to being AF is 80% of the trick. So you are getting there.
:h:h:h

[TheSunFlower]

monday June 2

Det....being kind of forced out of corporate America helps. I did choose to leave though, but that was on another set of terms. But this helps give me the kick in the pants I need. Also, I was kind of going in and out of freak out mode. I meditated a lot this weekend and for some reason I feel calm. I don't want freak out mode back.

Pauly......I used to think it all the way through, even thinking that the hangover will be worth it or at least manageable....hell, hadn't I survived thousands of other times? Now I can't imagine the hangover being worth it. Those evil times I entertain drinking.....I think about the hangover and the anxiety. I simply could not handle the anxiety of that nature again. Also, I used to drink miller lite. You know the "lite" stuff. Now when I see a bottle of it it looks thick and syrupy to me. I think because I no longer equate it to the buzz....I remember how that shit weighed me down.

I am blessed to have forgotten the buzz feeling. I intellectually know it exists.....but, I can no longer imagine it. I used to crave that feeling. Now the feeling of the hangover is all I can remember. Maybe I did kill a drinking brain cell

Instead of thinking I will have a headache, be bloated, say something stupid intellectually ...think about how those things make you FEEL. Like shit.

[Determinator]

monday June 2

wow, all this love and empathy poured out to you Pauly, you should feel special because you are.

good luck finding this kind of friendship at a bar! i know I never found it there.

for myself, it's usually been right after my bleakest moments that I've broken through plateaus in my development.

[paulywogg]

monday June 2

You hit it on the head SF,i drunk bud lite,haha what a joke,why oh why is this so rough?i keep doing it over and over,i feel i just feel as dead as my bougainvillea out back,i'm an imposter,thinking i can be like you guys,i'm sad,i'm frustrated,TT,no i'm not my mom,i never wanted to be,but shoot,i just don't know who i am anymore,i can't do this anymore,i'm gonna hafta take a break from here,i'm too ashamed to be around you guys,just know i love each of you,dearly,and i DO NOT throw that word out haphazardly,i truly care about each of you,as you have done to me,i'll still be lurking,i'm just,i dunno

[Lavande]

monday June 2

Pauly, your light is on so I know you are still lurking

This is the perfect time to completely re-invent yourself!!!!!!!!
I didn't know who the hell I was anymore either!
So, I decided that I will re-invent myself as a non-drinking, non-smoking full fledged adult & be happy about it too

Never forget that you can do absolutely anything you really want to do. We all can
You have our love & support!

[Chief]

monday June 2

Pauly, you need to stay here with us. We all know how this thing works......don't let The Beast have his way with you. There is nothing to be ashamed of. We have all failed at some point.....that's what we have in common. We understand where you're at right now. Don't leave the people who get it.....we can all help you change the way you're thinking right now. You know in your heart of hearts that you don't want to give up....it's the booze talking. I'm just now at day 15 after falling off the wagon and drinking for months after being AF for a long time. If I can do it so can you.....:l

Don

[treetops]

monday June 2

Don't hide from us Pauly. And tomorrow will be another day.

Welcome back Chief - sorry you started drinking again but you are getting back into your sober normal. Great!
None of us finds it easy and we are all fragile beings.
I had a big meltdown the other day but drinking was not part of the equation. Once it would have been my solution but its not anymore. This is hardwork being sober and dealing with life's crises but it's sure worth it as Lav says.
Must be getting late where you guys are

[Determinator]

monday June 2

Chief! so good to see you ol friend

[Chief]

monday June 2

Thanks Det....good to be back.