mae all ..4.30am...so just on my way out the door..was raining during the night but the heat is still there..yep off down to Lincoln ..my turn to drive today...quick blast then
extrememly large coffee on the go here...anyone else?
Hiya Sam ..hows the honey mountain going? how much did you end up with?
mornin SL.....Cant believe youve never been to Lincoln...its a stones throw from Nottingham..as for cooked brekkies ...yum yum...you all packed ready?
hiya tt...how are you doing ...glad to see all is well for you if only a wee bit tired..agree the cost of a subscription must surely be very minimal for the amount of people on here.
hiya ppqp..hows you ..glad visit with your dad went well...cant believe Ive kept this mystery thing going for 2 years now!! heres a brew to help with your studies!!
hiya Lav ..hows you then?did you get any work done on the raised beds?large brew for you too..have a great day.
hiya SF...wherever you are hope all is well for you ..in you come and let us know.
right folks time to go ..tatty bye.
Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Where does a ship go when it's sick?
To the dock.
Two nuns from Ireland come to tour New York City. Before they come, they hear that Americans eat dogs, so they both agree to try it when they arrive. As they're walking around New York, they hear, "Hot Dogs! Get your hot dogs!" They rush over to get one! As the first nun opens hers, her face turns white and she gasps, "What part did you get?!"
When someone yawns, do deaf people think they're screaming?
This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the shed. George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things.
He immediately phoned the police, who asked, "Is someone in your house?" and George said, "No," and explained the situation. Then they explained that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be there when available.
George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them all."
Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they began to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him. St. Peter said, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,'" and he left. The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple were still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn't work out; could you get a divorce in heaven? After yet another month, St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informed the couple, "You can get married in Heaven." "Great!" said the couple, "But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?" St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. "What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple. "OH, COME ON!," St. Peter shouted, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?"
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A: To get to the body shop.
I can count on one hand the number of times I've been caught shoplifting.
Which is just as well, as I live in Saudi Arabia.
I was on a blind date and decided to ask what qualities she looked for in a partner. She said that she wanted a tall, ruggedly handsome man, who was intelligent, doting and romantic, with a good sense of humour, a successful career in law or medicine, and who would take her dancing on a Saturday night.
"You can probably see why I'm still single," she laughed.
"That's right," I replied. "You're hideous."
An old Jew got a parrot from his sons after his wife died, to keep him company.
Eventually he discovered that the parrot had heard him pray so often that it, too, had learned to pray. The old man was so thrilled that he took his parrot to the synagogue on Rosh Hashana (Jewish new year).
When he entered with the bird, the rabbi tried to protest, but when the old man told them all that the parrot could pray, they got interested--though skeptical.
People started betting on whether the parrot would pray, and the old man happily took all the bets. The prayer started--the bird was silent.
The prayer continued--not a word from the bird. The prayer ended, and the old man, crestfallen, paid out the bets.
On the way home he asked his parrot: What did you do to me? I know you can pray, you know you can pray, and I bet you can pray--and you let me down!
Said the parrot: Hey, look ahead--can you imagine what the odds will be like on Yom Kippur?
extrememly large coffee on the go here...anyone else?
Hiya Sam ..hows the honey mountain going? how much did you end up with?
mornin SL.....Cant believe youve never been to Lincoln...its a stones throw from Nottingham..as for cooked brekkies ...yum yum...you all packed ready?
hiya tt...how are you doing ...glad to see all is well for you if only a wee bit tired..agree the cost of a subscription must surely be very minimal for the amount of people on here.
hiya ppqp..hows you ..glad visit with your dad went well...cant believe Ive kept this mystery thing going for 2 years now!! heres a brew to help with your studies!!
hiya Lav ..hows you then?did you get any work done on the raised beds?large brew for you too..have a great day.
hiya SF...wherever you are hope all is well for you ..in you come and let us know.
right folks time to go ..tatty bye.
Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Where does a ship go when it's sick?
To the dock.
Two nuns from Ireland come to tour New York City. Before they come, they hear that Americans eat dogs, so they both agree to try it when they arrive. As they're walking around New York, they hear, "Hot Dogs! Get your hot dogs!" They rush over to get one! As the first nun opens hers, her face turns white and she gasps, "What part did you get?!"
When someone yawns, do deaf people think they're screaming?
This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the shed. George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things.
He immediately phoned the police, who asked, "Is someone in your house?" and George said, "No," and explained the situation. Then they explained that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be there when available.
George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them all."
Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they began to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him. St. Peter said, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,'" and he left. The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple were still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn't work out; could you get a divorce in heaven? After yet another month, St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informed the couple, "You can get married in Heaven." "Great!" said the couple, "But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?" St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. "What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple. "OH, COME ON!," St. Peter shouted, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?"
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A: To get to the body shop.
I can count on one hand the number of times I've been caught shoplifting.
Which is just as well, as I live in Saudi Arabia.
I was on a blind date and decided to ask what qualities she looked for in a partner. She said that she wanted a tall, ruggedly handsome man, who was intelligent, doting and romantic, with a good sense of humour, a successful career in law or medicine, and who would take her dancing on a Saturday night.
"You can probably see why I'm still single," she laughed.
"That's right," I replied. "You're hideous."
An old Jew got a parrot from his sons after his wife died, to keep him company.
Eventually he discovered that the parrot had heard him pray so often that it, too, had learned to pray. The old man was so thrilled that he took his parrot to the synagogue on Rosh Hashana (Jewish new year).
When he entered with the bird, the rabbi tried to protest, but when the old man told them all that the parrot could pray, they got interested--though skeptical.
People started betting on whether the parrot would pray, and the old man happily took all the bets. The prayer started--the bird was silent.
The prayer continued--not a word from the bird. The prayer ended, and the old man, crestfallen, paid out the bets.
On the way home he asked his parrot: What did you do to me? I know you can pray, you know you can pray, and I bet you can pray--and you let me down!
Said the parrot: Hey, look ahead--can you imagine what the odds will be like on Yom Kippur?
but we did get to Graceland (my MIL is a huge Elvis fan) and it was soooo humid and hot I about melted. I now know more about Elvis than I ever intended!
Hope your back is OK.
Comment