WED AF 30 JULY

[Determinator]

WED AF 30 JULY

holy dog fart, batman! just now back to the hotel after an even more challenging booze-infested day. after training 24 of us piled into a restaurant and the big boss was paying so everyone went nuts with the booze of all kinds. when they started ordering 80.00 per shot whiskies I just rolled my eyes in disbelief...what a stupid waste of money. the smell was just killing me so I got up often to walk outside.
so pleased that this grotesque event didn't tempt me at all, it was a great reminder what a thief and a disgusting habit it really is.

ByrdLady, don't mind if I repost this line from your post today: The thought of never drinking is a blessed relief. The thoughts of being ripped apart by AL forever are the ones that scare me. There is nothing to fear about being AF once you accept it. Byrdie

so very true.

Pauly, so glad to see you hon. please consider a 3-day detox. they will take very good care of you.

more on my mind, but too tired now. another big day ahead.

be well loves

[bear73]

WED AF 30 JULY

thanks so much Mick and everyone, your post has given me lots to think about and has helped me straighten my thinking out.Thanks for taking the time - time to journal and think, and put thought into how i really stop having ' just that one or two' which just makes me want more,even if i can stop at 4,which is 4 too many - the repercussions just aren't worth it.I dont even enjoy it at the time really as im thinking about the next drink and conflicted even when drinking.

PPQ - I like the controlling what you an idea too - really hits home atm

Byrdlady - i'm working on being pleased with my choice,and realising it is a choice for ME that I don't want to drink anymore.deep down I don;t and doing self pcourse last week pt into focus how much time money and energy and pain went into being wankered when I could have focused on my life,making some brave choice e.g. to go travelling as i have always wanted to for a stretch and stopped me even having goals/dreams beyond lose weight,don't use drugs when drunk, stop smoking - all good but not the excitement of life,not the positive aiming for something.

Brain is melting - in a good way!

[bear73]

WED AF 30 JULY

Sam I really like that ' I don't drink' - simple effective and one I'm going to repeat to myself over and over.Thank you.I don't know how to say enough or how deeply touched I am you have all bothered on this my 90000th quit(seen my start date here??).
I don't drink.