mae all...well here it is ..the weekend has joined us..so how are we all today then?good ?thatll do for me...really blowy over here...been reliably informed by the weather man that we are getting the tailend of a hurricane from somewhere..weekend plans?not a lot really see what happens ..tho will be ourt early again on Sunday..and hopefully as successful!
tea and coffee on the go at the momento..so jump in n grab a cup
hiya SF...wow they certainly have reeeely bugged you havent they?take it from our post that the company are starting to let people go?how did your yoga sesh go ?
hiya bear..do you know thats the first post Ive read of yours that doesnt soud like you are zooming about at 100 mph so well done on that :goodjob: what arent you going to do today?what didnt you do yesterday?..lets hear it!
hiya SL...sounds like you are having a gooood time there..well done to you..not so sure about taking 4 buses..wasnt aware that you could drive them! :H and what the heck is a do-dad?how did the carnival go?
hiya det ...hows you tday then ..all good?didi you know the word trivia was first used in ancient Rome?information was posted at main places for people to read....now bearing in mind most people walked where better than where roads joined each other...crossroads...tri means 3 via means roads..more useless info!!
hiya pauly ...good for you...well did you have a laff at work yesterday?hey thats ace with the wabbit...both mine are getting their winter coats now..when that happens they tend to get lethargic....oh and the boogie is growing..just repotted it.
hiya ppqp ..hows you ..?glad the gardens are doing so well..weeding wednesdays?..is that where you all sit around smokin joints?:H so whens this berm gonna get moved now then?sounds a bit like work over here..here you go... lets think about this...first we need to think about what weve got to think about..done that?ok now lets have a meeting...tell everyone what we have thought about..what are their thoughts?ok lets think about what they thought..do you think in the light of what they thought,we should revise what we originally thought?..what do you think?and so on!! phew brew time ..here you go
hiya Lav ...whats afoot today then?..same as always 12 inches!!how is it by the way?still painful?take it easy ..get the gang fussing round you for a change...as I write this,I know Im wasting my time..theres as much chance of you sitting doing nowt as me!!big brew time ..here you go.
hiya Sam..how did the market go ?all good hopefully....
hiya tt ..you ok?and Patrice?
right folks off we go ..you have a great weekend all.
A naked woman is bouncing on her bed singing. Her husband walks into the bedroom and sees her. He watches her a while then says, ?You look ridiculous! What on earth do you think you?re doing??
She says, ?I just got my checkup and my doctor says I have the breasts of an eighteen year old.? She starts laughing and jumping again. He says, ?Yeah, right. And what did he say about your 45-year-old ass??
?Your name never came up, ? she replied.
A member of the Senate, known for his hot temper and acid tongue, explodes one day in mid-session and begins to shout,
?Half of this Senate is made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!?
All the other Senators plead to the angry member that he withdraw his statement, or be removed from the remainder of the session. After a long pause, the angry member accepted.
?Ok? he said, ?I withdraw what I said. Half of this Senate is NOT made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!?
An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.
A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.
?All set back here, Captain,? came the reply, ?except one lawyer who is still going around passing out business cards.?
A couple who?d been married for over 50 years was sitting on the sofa, when the wife said, ?Dear, do you remember how you used to sit close to me??
He moved over and sat close to her.
?Dear,? she continued, ?do you remember how you used to hold me tight??
He reached over and held her tight.
?And,? she went on, ?do you remember how you used to hug me and kiss me and nibble on my ear??
With that, her husband got up and started to walk out of the room.
?Where are you going?? she asked.
?Well,? answered the husband, ?I have to get my teeth.?
In a terrible accident at a railroad crossing, a train smashed into a car and pushed it nearly four hundred yards down the track. Though no one was killed, the driver took the train company to court.
At the trial, the engineer insisted that he had given the driver ample warning by waving his lantern back and forth for nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how he?d done it. The court believed his story, and the suit was dismissed.
?Congratulations,? the lawyer said to the engineer when it was over. ?You did superbly under cross-examination.?
?Thanks,? he said, ?but he sure had me worried.?
?How?s that?? the lawyer asked.
?I was afraid he was going to ask if the damned lantern was lit!?
Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, ?What a beautiful night, look at the moon.?
The other drunk stops and look at his drunk friend. ?You are wrong, that?s not the moon, that?s the sun.?
Both started arguing for a while when they come upon another drunk walking, so they stopped him. ?Sir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that?s shining. Is it the moon or the sun??
The third drunk looked at the sky and then looked at them and said, ?Sorry, I don?t live around here.?
An old man was walking in the forest when he heard by his feet a very weak voice.
He bent down to look and saw that the voice came from a little frog: ?I?m a beautiful, erotic and sensual princess, skilled in all the carnal pleasures of love. An evil queen, envious of my charms, turned me into a frog, but if you kiss me I will once again be a fair maiden, and I will provide you with all the joys and delights of my voluptuous temperament and my ardent lust.
The old man picked up the little frog and put her into his pocket.
Bewildered, the frog looked out and asked:
?What, you?re not going to kiss me??
?Nope,? replied the old man. ?At my age it?s more fun to have a talking frog than a sex maniac.?
A young mother paying a visit to a doctor friend and his wife made no attempt to restrain her five-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room.
But finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, ?I hope, doctor, you don?t mind Johnny being in there.?
?No,? said the doctor calmly, ?He?ll be quiet when he gets to the poisons.?
A newly married sailor was informed by the Navy that he was going to be stationed a long way from home on a remote island in the Pacific for a year. A few weeks after he got there he began to miss his new wife, so he wrote her a letter.
?My love,? he wrote ?we are going to be apart for a very long time. Already I?m starting to miss you and there?s really not much to do here in the evenings. Besides that we?re constantly surrounded by young attractive native girls. Do you think if I had a hobby of some kind I would not be tempted? ?
So his wife sent him back a harmonica saying, ?why don?t you learn to play this??
Eventually his tour of duty came to an end and he rushed back to his wife. ?Darling? he said, ?I can?t wait to get you into bed so that we make passionate love!?
She kissed him and said, ?First let?s see you play that harmonica.?
The Smith family was very proud that their ancestors had come over on the Mayflower, so they hired best-selling author Frank McCourt to look up and write a book about their family history.
Horror of horrors! They discovered that great uncle Fess had died in the electric chair for committing a murder. They were devastated.
They didn?t want that in the book, but they didn?t want to leave him out either.
McCourt said, ?Leave it to me.?
When the book came out, the section about Uncle Fess read like this:
?He was a man who occupied a great seat. He was attached to his position very firmly. His death came as a great shock.?
tea and coffee on the go at the momento..so jump in n grab a cup
hiya SF...wow they certainly have reeeely bugged you havent they?take it from our post that the company are starting to let people go?how did your yoga sesh go ?
hiya bear..do you know thats the first post Ive read of yours that doesnt soud like you are zooming about at 100 mph so well done on that :goodjob: what arent you going to do today?what didnt you do yesterday?..lets hear it!
hiya SL...sounds like you are having a gooood time there..well done to you..not so sure about taking 4 buses..wasnt aware that you could drive them! :H and what the heck is a do-dad?how did the carnival go?
hiya det ...hows you tday then ..all good?didi you know the word trivia was first used in ancient Rome?information was posted at main places for people to read....now bearing in mind most people walked where better than where roads joined each other...crossroads...tri means 3 via means roads..more useless info!!
hiya pauly ...good for you...well did you have a laff at work yesterday?hey thats ace with the wabbit...both mine are getting their winter coats now..when that happens they tend to get lethargic....oh and the boogie is growing..just repotted it.
hiya ppqp ..hows you ..?glad the gardens are doing so well..weeding wednesdays?..is that where you all sit around smokin joints?:H so whens this berm gonna get moved now then?sounds a bit like work over here..here you go... lets think about this...first we need to think about what weve got to think about..done that?ok now lets have a meeting...tell everyone what we have thought about..what are their thoughts?ok lets think about what they thought..do you think in the light of what they thought,we should revise what we originally thought?..what do you think?and so on!! phew brew time ..here you go
hiya Lav ...whats afoot today then?..same as always 12 inches!!how is it by the way?still painful?take it easy ..get the gang fussing round you for a change...as I write this,I know Im wasting my time..theres as much chance of you sitting doing nowt as me!!big brew time ..here you go.
hiya Sam..how did the market go ?all good hopefully....
hiya tt ..you ok?and Patrice?
right folks off we go ..you have a great weekend all.
A naked woman is bouncing on her bed singing. Her husband walks into the bedroom and sees her. He watches her a while then says, ?You look ridiculous! What on earth do you think you?re doing??
She says, ?I just got my checkup and my doctor says I have the breasts of an eighteen year old.? She starts laughing and jumping again. He says, ?Yeah, right. And what did he say about your 45-year-old ass??
?Your name never came up, ? she replied.
A member of the Senate, known for his hot temper and acid tongue, explodes one day in mid-session and begins to shout,
?Half of this Senate is made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!?
All the other Senators plead to the angry member that he withdraw his statement, or be removed from the remainder of the session. After a long pause, the angry member accepted.
?Ok? he said, ?I withdraw what I said. Half of this Senate is NOT made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!?
An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.
A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.
?All set back here, Captain,? came the reply, ?except one lawyer who is still going around passing out business cards.?
A couple who?d been married for over 50 years was sitting on the sofa, when the wife said, ?Dear, do you remember how you used to sit close to me??
He moved over and sat close to her.
?Dear,? she continued, ?do you remember how you used to hold me tight??
He reached over and held her tight.
?And,? she went on, ?do you remember how you used to hug me and kiss me and nibble on my ear??
With that, her husband got up and started to walk out of the room.
?Where are you going?? she asked.
?Well,? answered the husband, ?I have to get my teeth.?
In a terrible accident at a railroad crossing, a train smashed into a car and pushed it nearly four hundred yards down the track. Though no one was killed, the driver took the train company to court.
At the trial, the engineer insisted that he had given the driver ample warning by waving his lantern back and forth for nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how he?d done it. The court believed his story, and the suit was dismissed.
?Congratulations,? the lawyer said to the engineer when it was over. ?You did superbly under cross-examination.?
?Thanks,? he said, ?but he sure had me worried.?
?How?s that?? the lawyer asked.
?I was afraid he was going to ask if the damned lantern was lit!?
Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, ?What a beautiful night, look at the moon.?
The other drunk stops and look at his drunk friend. ?You are wrong, that?s not the moon, that?s the sun.?
Both started arguing for a while when they come upon another drunk walking, so they stopped him. ?Sir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that?s shining. Is it the moon or the sun??
The third drunk looked at the sky and then looked at them and said, ?Sorry, I don?t live around here.?
An old man was walking in the forest when he heard by his feet a very weak voice.
He bent down to look and saw that the voice came from a little frog: ?I?m a beautiful, erotic and sensual princess, skilled in all the carnal pleasures of love. An evil queen, envious of my charms, turned me into a frog, but if you kiss me I will once again be a fair maiden, and I will provide you with all the joys and delights of my voluptuous temperament and my ardent lust.
The old man picked up the little frog and put her into his pocket.
Bewildered, the frog looked out and asked:
?What, you?re not going to kiss me??
?Nope,? replied the old man. ?At my age it?s more fun to have a talking frog than a sex maniac.?
A young mother paying a visit to a doctor friend and his wife made no attempt to restrain her five-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room.
But finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, ?I hope, doctor, you don?t mind Johnny being in there.?
?No,? said the doctor calmly, ?He?ll be quiet when he gets to the poisons.?
A newly married sailor was informed by the Navy that he was going to be stationed a long way from home on a remote island in the Pacific for a year. A few weeks after he got there he began to miss his new wife, so he wrote her a letter.
?My love,? he wrote ?we are going to be apart for a very long time. Already I?m starting to miss you and there?s really not much to do here in the evenings. Besides that we?re constantly surrounded by young attractive native girls. Do you think if I had a hobby of some kind I would not be tempted? ?
So his wife sent him back a harmonica saying, ?why don?t you learn to play this??
Eventually his tour of duty came to an end and he rushed back to his wife. ?Darling? he said, ?I can?t wait to get you into bed so that we make passionate love!?
She kissed him and said, ?First let?s see you play that harmonica.?
The Smith family was very proud that their ancestors had come over on the Mayflower, so they hired best-selling author Frank McCourt to look up and write a book about their family history.
Horror of horrors! They discovered that great uncle Fess had died in the electric chair for committing a murder. They were devastated.
They didn?t want that in the book, but they didn?t want to leave him out either.
McCourt said, ?Leave it to me.?
When the book came out, the section about Uncle Fess read like this:
?He was a man who occupied a great seat. He was attached to his position very firmly. His death came as a great shock.?
Comment