mae all...and howz the world in the land of the free today?........alcohol free that is!!:H obviously didnt get out early doors this morning...was raining really heavy...but its faired off now to a steady downpour..possibility...in fact its a good definiteability (what a great word to make up before brekkie!)that at this time tomorrow I will be driving down towards Lincoln thats uk for all of you that have one of their own ok..enough of this mindless drivel...onwards and upwards
tea and coffee available at the main entrance :H
morning Lav..hows you today?all good?hows the foot?my rabbits are on the way over for those carrots!!need to get some pics of the veggies I have got (left)as we have eaten loads..yes learned cpr, oxygen admin and first aid along the way....also treating gunshot wounds ..handy
large brew time whilst I mull the world over ..heres yours too..on kidwatch today?
hiya SL..How are you?back into the swing of things?yes you get the holiday..take yesterday off ..with Tuesday as your travelling time! your post.. want to shoot him yet again! I knew I learnt about gunshot wounds for some reason!!:H
hiya ppqp...how are you today?enjoying your morning off?here you go trivia crap.com..Det pay attention now..this may interest you tho Lord knows why "the saying to go swimmingly" is an English phrase....again ..nowt better to do than invent crappy phrases..but the accepted fact was that when you swam ,you glided through the water smoothly without causing any ripples or waves, without fuss..so da da there you have it! heres your lie in brew..these words sprung to mind when I read about our stove..
look out dear stove,
shes gonna get mean,
your dusty ole coat,
will be sparkly and clean
glad the assessment went well.
hiya SF....wow thats something else ...a requirement to get fired!think your gonna end up like your man at the Alamo...all gone bar you!!
definitely got to hand it to you for guts to go it alone in this day and age ...good on you!
hiya Det..well any luck with the house selling?did you kbnow that the iron workers in minnesota/michigan had pasties too?the idea came over from Kernow (Cornwall) in the 1850s have a look at this recipe folks ..Lav can you cut out the crappy stuff in it!then lets get marketing!!
Delicious Homemade Pasty Recipe
hiya Pauly....hows you today girl?ok..you on kidwatch today or working?dont forget the laff!!
hiya bear...how are you today then?all good? you never spotted what was missing off your post?..try this..hey all, it's day .. here - and I don't drink.
hope your meeting goes well..that food sounds good ...think Iwill be doing a veggie something tonight!!
hiya tt how are you doing?all good despite the work issues?
hiya Sam..wherever you are!
right peeps including those missing thats me for the offski so see you all later
My wife came home yesterday and said, ?Honey, the car won?t start, but I know what the problem is.?
I asked her what it was, and she told me there was water in the carburetor. I thought for a moment, then said, ?You know, I don?t mean this offensively, but you don?t know the carburetor from the accelerator.?
?No, there?s definitely water in the carburetor,? she insisted.
?OK Honey, that?s fine, I?ll just go take a look. Where is it??
?In the lake.?
A blonde goes to the local restaurant, buys a small drink for herself, and sits down to drink it. She notices a peel-off prize sticker on the side of her cup while she is drinking. After pulling off the tab, she begins screaming, "I won a motor home! I won a motor home!"
The waitress runs over and argues, "That's impossible. The biggest prize given away was a stereo system!"
The blonde replies, "No. I won a motor home!"
By this time, the manager makes his way over to the table, and he too argues, "You couldn't possibly have won a motor home because we didn't have that as one of our prizes."
Again the blonde says, "There is no mistake! I won a motor home!"
The blonde hands the prize ticket to the manager and he reads, "WIN A BAGEL."
To celebrate 50 years of marriage, a couple booked a weekend at St. Andrews. On the third tee, the husband you, ?Darling, I have to confess something. Twenty years ago I had a brief affair. It meant nothing. I hope that you can forgive me.?
His wife was hurt but said, ?Dearest, those days are long gone. What we have now is far more valuable. I forgive you.? They embraced and kissed.
On the seventeenth tee the wife said to her husband, ?Darling, since we?re being honest with each other, I have something to tell you. Fifty-two years ago I had a sex change operation, I was a man before we met.?
The husband threw a fit! He cursed, threw his driver away, broke the rest of his clubs one by one, tore at his clothes, screamed and ranted,?You liar, you despicable cheat! How could you? I trusted you, and you have been playing off from the ladies? tee all these years!?
A drunk is walking along and smacks into a tree. He backs up a few paces, and walks into the tree again. He does it again. He mumbles, ?This is great. I was supposed to be home hours ago, and now here I am lost in the forest.?
Two blondes stopped in their car to let a funeral pass by.
?Who died?? the first blonde asked.
?I think it was the person in the casket.? replied the second blonde.
Bernard, who is noted for his gracious manners, was awakened one morning at four forty four a.m. by his ringing telephone. . .
?Your dog?s barking, and it?s keeping me awake,? said an angry voice.
Bernard thanked the caller and politely asked his name and number before hanging up.
The next morning at precisely four forty four a.m., Bernard called his neighbor back . . .
?Good morning, Mr. Williams?. Just called to say that I don?t fkn have a fkn dog.?
?You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background,? sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand.
?If I wasn?t under oath, I?d return the compliment,? replied the witness.
The little sexy housewife was built so well the TV repairman couldn?t keep his eyes off of her. Every time she came in the room, he?d near about jerk his neck right out of joint looking at her.
When he?d finished she paid him and said, ?I?m going to make a? well? unusual request. But you have to first promise me you?ll keep it a secret.?
The repairman quickly agreed and she went on. ?Well, it?s kind of embarrassing to talk about, but while my husband is a kind, decent man ? sigh ? he has a certain physical weakness. A certain disability. Now, I?m a woman and you?re a man??
The repairman could hardly speak, ?Yes, yes!?
?And since I?ve been wanting to ever since you came in the door??
?Yes, yes!?
?Would you help me move the refrigerator??
The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items. I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, his bony arm across the back of my seat.
I hadn?t considered the drive across town. At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became obvious, and I looked across and explained, ?I?m delivering him to my doctor?s office.?
The other driver leaned out of his window. ?I hate to tell you, lady,? he said, ?but I think it?s too late!?
A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, ?When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking.
Now after ten years it?s all different. I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking.?
The CEO was scheduled to speak at an important convention so he asked one of his employees, Jenkins, to write him a punch, 20-minute speech. When the CEO returned from the big event, he was furious.
?What?s the idea of writing me an hour-long speech??, he demanded. ?Half the audience walked out before I finished.? Jenkins was baffled. ?I wrote you a 20-minute speech,? he replied. ?I also gave you the two extra copies you asked for.?
A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago.
?The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it??
A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said, ?Wedding cake.?
Two guys are trying to get in a quick eighteen holes, but there are two terrible lady golfers in front of them hitting the ball everywhere but where it?s supposed to go.
The first guy says, ?Why don?t you go over and ask if we can play through?? The second guy gets about halfway there, turns and comes back.
The first guy says, ?What?s wrong??
He says, ?One of them is my wife, and the other one is my mistress.?
The first guy says, ?That could be a problem. I?ll go over.?
He gets about halfway there and he turns and comes back, too.
The second guy says, ?What?s wrong??
The first guy says, ?Small world.?
A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, ?Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while??
She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, ?No, I won?t sleep with you tonight!? Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, ?I?m sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I?m a graduate student in psychology and I?m studying how people respond to embarrassing situations.?
To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, ?What do you mean $200??
tea and coffee available at the main entrance :H
morning Lav..hows you today?all good?hows the foot?my rabbits are on the way over for those carrots!!need to get some pics of the veggies I have got (left)as we have eaten loads..yes learned cpr, oxygen admin and first aid along the way....also treating gunshot wounds ..handy
large brew time whilst I mull the world over ..heres yours too..on kidwatch today?hiya SL..How are you?back into the swing of things?yes you get the holiday..take yesterday off ..with Tuesday as your travelling time! your post.. want to shoot him yet again! I knew I learnt about gunshot wounds for some reason!!:H
hiya ppqp...how are you today?enjoying your morning off?here you go trivia crap.com..Det pay attention now..this may interest you tho Lord knows why "the saying to go swimmingly" is an English phrase....again ..nowt better to do than invent crappy phrases..but the accepted fact was that when you swam ,you glided through the water smoothly without causing any ripples or waves, without fuss..so da da there you have it! heres your lie in brew..these words sprung to mind when I read about our stove..
look out dear stove,
shes gonna get mean,
your dusty ole coat,
will be sparkly and clean
glad the assessment went well.
hiya SF....wow thats something else ...a requirement to get fired!think your gonna end up like your man at the Alamo...all gone bar you!!
definitely got to hand it to you for guts to go it alone in this day and age ...good on you!hiya Det..well any luck with the house selling?did you kbnow that the iron workers in minnesota/michigan had pasties too?the idea came over from Kernow (Cornwall) in the 1850s have a look at this recipe folks ..Lav can you cut out the crappy stuff in it!then lets get marketing!!
Delicious Homemade Pasty Recipe
hiya Pauly....hows you today girl?ok..you on kidwatch today or working?dont forget the laff!!
hiya bear...how are you today then?all good? you never spotted what was missing off your post?..try this..hey all, it's day .. here - and I don't drink.
hope your meeting goes well..that food sounds good ...think Iwill be doing a veggie something tonight!!
hiya tt how are you doing?all good despite the work issues?
hiya Sam..wherever you are!
right peeps including those missing thats me for the offski so see you all later
My wife came home yesterday and said, ?Honey, the car won?t start, but I know what the problem is.?
I asked her what it was, and she told me there was water in the carburetor. I thought for a moment, then said, ?You know, I don?t mean this offensively, but you don?t know the carburetor from the accelerator.?
?No, there?s definitely water in the carburetor,? she insisted.
?OK Honey, that?s fine, I?ll just go take a look. Where is it??
?In the lake.?
A blonde goes to the local restaurant, buys a small drink for herself, and sits down to drink it. She notices a peel-off prize sticker on the side of her cup while she is drinking. After pulling off the tab, she begins screaming, "I won a motor home! I won a motor home!"
The waitress runs over and argues, "That's impossible. The biggest prize given away was a stereo system!"
The blonde replies, "No. I won a motor home!"
By this time, the manager makes his way over to the table, and he too argues, "You couldn't possibly have won a motor home because we didn't have that as one of our prizes."
Again the blonde says, "There is no mistake! I won a motor home!"
The blonde hands the prize ticket to the manager and he reads, "WIN A BAGEL."
To celebrate 50 years of marriage, a couple booked a weekend at St. Andrews. On the third tee, the husband you, ?Darling, I have to confess something. Twenty years ago I had a brief affair. It meant nothing. I hope that you can forgive me.?
His wife was hurt but said, ?Dearest, those days are long gone. What we have now is far more valuable. I forgive you.? They embraced and kissed.
On the seventeenth tee the wife said to her husband, ?Darling, since we?re being honest with each other, I have something to tell you. Fifty-two years ago I had a sex change operation, I was a man before we met.?
The husband threw a fit! He cursed, threw his driver away, broke the rest of his clubs one by one, tore at his clothes, screamed and ranted,?You liar, you despicable cheat! How could you? I trusted you, and you have been playing off from the ladies? tee all these years!?
A drunk is walking along and smacks into a tree. He backs up a few paces, and walks into the tree again. He does it again. He mumbles, ?This is great. I was supposed to be home hours ago, and now here I am lost in the forest.?
Two blondes stopped in their car to let a funeral pass by.
?Who died?? the first blonde asked.
?I think it was the person in the casket.? replied the second blonde.
Bernard, who is noted for his gracious manners, was awakened one morning at four forty four a.m. by his ringing telephone. . .
?Your dog?s barking, and it?s keeping me awake,? said an angry voice.
Bernard thanked the caller and politely asked his name and number before hanging up.
The next morning at precisely four forty four a.m., Bernard called his neighbor back . . .
?Good morning, Mr. Williams?. Just called to say that I don?t fkn have a fkn dog.?
?You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background,? sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand.
?If I wasn?t under oath, I?d return the compliment,? replied the witness.
The little sexy housewife was built so well the TV repairman couldn?t keep his eyes off of her. Every time she came in the room, he?d near about jerk his neck right out of joint looking at her.
When he?d finished she paid him and said, ?I?m going to make a? well? unusual request. But you have to first promise me you?ll keep it a secret.?
The repairman quickly agreed and she went on. ?Well, it?s kind of embarrassing to talk about, but while my husband is a kind, decent man ? sigh ? he has a certain physical weakness. A certain disability. Now, I?m a woman and you?re a man??
The repairman could hardly speak, ?Yes, yes!?
?And since I?ve been wanting to ever since you came in the door??
?Yes, yes!?
?Would you help me move the refrigerator??
The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items. I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, his bony arm across the back of my seat.
I hadn?t considered the drive across town. At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became obvious, and I looked across and explained, ?I?m delivering him to my doctor?s office.?
The other driver leaned out of his window. ?I hate to tell you, lady,? he said, ?but I think it?s too late!?
A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, ?When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking.
Now after ten years it?s all different. I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking.?
The CEO was scheduled to speak at an important convention so he asked one of his employees, Jenkins, to write him a punch, 20-minute speech. When the CEO returned from the big event, he was furious.
?What?s the idea of writing me an hour-long speech??, he demanded. ?Half the audience walked out before I finished.? Jenkins was baffled. ?I wrote you a 20-minute speech,? he replied. ?I also gave you the two extra copies you asked for.?
A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago.
?The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it??
A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said, ?Wedding cake.?
Two guys are trying to get in a quick eighteen holes, but there are two terrible lady golfers in front of them hitting the ball everywhere but where it?s supposed to go.
The first guy says, ?Why don?t you go over and ask if we can play through?? The second guy gets about halfway there, turns and comes back.
The first guy says, ?What?s wrong??
He says, ?One of them is my wife, and the other one is my mistress.?
The first guy says, ?That could be a problem. I?ll go over.?
He gets about halfway there and he turns and comes back, too.
The second guy says, ?What?s wrong??
The first guy says, ?Small world.?
A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, ?Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while??
She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, ?No, I won?t sleep with you tonight!? Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, ?I?m sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I?m a graduate student in psychology and I?m studying how people respond to embarrassing situations.?
To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, ?What do you mean $200??
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