mae all and how are we today then?all good ..Bank holiday monday over here today, so Julie not working.Looks like rai tho...yep it is ..the stone is wet..remember Lav?:H ok so lets get on with the show..
tea and coffee on the go..
morning SF...how are you today then?wow what a very impressive post you put up!!!!:goodjob: you have the courage and convictions of your beliefs....plus you are happy..I really wish you well.
hiya SL...yep Newark was good..successful...but so far not as good as Lincoln ..got to put a bit more work into it!so you have a cheese plant taking over have you?Ive got a banana tree that I bought as a "stick" and nurtured back....on course to be a final height of 2.8 m !!no tears yesterday then ?hey things are looking up!wow what a look back eh?"hey I could have been one of those trying to salvage the busted vino!"glad all ok after the quake.
hiya ppqp...hows you today?all good I hope?so youve got a go pro camera ?are they any good?was thinking about getting one...but use versus cost makes me question it.back at work today?well heres a mahoosive brew to sit down and watch the fireworks...dont forget keep light a few blue touch papers unobtrusively and then sit back!! yeehah fun time!!!:H a very positive outlook maam..we will keep going!!
hiya tt ...how are you today?all good?good one on the profiles..intersting to note..going to change the window shuttering s for the cat....isnt it strange the things we do for our animals?Ive virtually rebuilt my garden since I got my rabbits!again both rescue rabbits,the big one Sandy..she has had a stroke/seizure or something a long the way..one side of her face has dropped...and she is hard of hearing and very nervous..doesnt seem to bother her too much and hopefully we have given her a new life ..the other one is as daft as a brush!!
hey bear wb ..glad all went well with you at your parents house....tahe it bank holiday for you also?
hiya Pauly ....how are you ?jeez no wonder you are tired ..get some me time girl..when was the last time you did anything for you?and I dont mean spend a fortune or anything like that? just some Pauly time doing what you want to do...everyone needs it ...even the wise embroidery granma on here .....speaking of which..
hiya Lav ..hows you today then ?all good?were you playing out yesterday in the garden?wait for it........hopscotch??:H ok ok its not that funny!!yep pity it wasnt the same Newark!!big brew time..if the rain goes off....stone dries ..then may play out!
hiya Sam..how are you today then?All good?take it OBX is the outer banks North Carolina?if so Byrdie lives that way...yep me I like the early mornings just watching things waking up and the quiet and peace...glad the toons sesh went well last night too..any markets today?
right folks fill in the missing letters a,b,... r,s,t,... later
An old snake goes to see his Doctor. ?Doc, I need something for my eyes, I can?t see very well these days.?
The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks.
The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he?s very depressed.
Doc says, ?What?s the problem? Didn?t the glasses help you??
?The glasses are fine doc, but I just discovered I?ve been living with a water hose the past 2 years!?
After she woke up, a woman told her husband,
?I just had a dream that you gave me the most beautiful diamond necklace. What do you think it means??
?You?ll know tonight.? he said with a smile.
The woman could hardly think of anything else all day and she couldn?t wait for her husband to return home.
That evening, the man finally came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.
Delighted, she opened it excitedly to find a book entitled?
?The Meaning of Dreams?
A man walks into a store to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter. ?How much is that Barbie in the window??, he asks the shop assistant.
In a manner she responds, ?Which Barbie? We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $395.00.?
The guy asks, ?Why is Divorced Barbie different from all the others??
?That?s obvious,? the assistant states, ?Divorced Barbie comes with Ken?s house, Ken?s car, Ken?s boat, Ken?s furniture??
4 guys are driving cross-country together ? one from Idaho, one from Nebraska, one from Florida, and the last one is from New York. A bit down the road the man from Idaho starts topull potatoes from his bag and throws them out the window.
The man from Iowa turns to him and asks, ?What the hell are you doing??
The man from Idaho says, ?Man, we have so many of these damned things in Idaho they?re laying around on the ground-I?m sick of looking at them!?
A few miles down the road, the man from Nebraska begins pulling husks of corn from his bag and throwing them out the window.
The man from Florida asks ?What are you doing that for?? The Nebraskan replies,
?Man, we have so many of these damned things in Nebraska I?m sick of looking at them!?
Inspired by the others, the man from Florida opens the car door and pushes the New Yorker out.
A man stood on the side of the road hitch hiking on a very dark night in the middle of a storm. The night was rolling and no cars passed. The storm was so strong, he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly he saw a car come towards him and stop.
The guy, without thinking about it, got in the car and closed the door only to realize that nobody was behind the wheel. The car started moving slowly. The guy looked at the road and saw a curve coming his way.
Scared, he started praying, and begged for his life. He hadn?t come out of shock, when just before he hit the curve, a hand appeared through the window and moved the wheel. The guy, paralyzed in terror, watched how the hand appeared every time before a curve.
The guy gathered strength, got out of the car and ran to the nearest town. Wet and in shock, he ran into a bar and asked for two shots of tequila, and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he went through. A silence enveloped everybody when they realized the guy was crying and wasn?t drunk.
About half an hour later, two guys walked into the same bar, and one said to the other. ?Look, that?s the character who climbed into our car while we were pushing!?
Eight-year-old Nina brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good?mostly A?s and a couple of B?s.
However, her teacher had written across the bottom: ?Nina is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit.?
Nina?s dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: ?Please let me know if your idea works on Nina because I would like to try it out on her mother.?
talkin about cats....
Every Friday night, a little old lady placed $1,000 in the donation box at church. This went on for weeks until the Priest, overcome with curiosity, approached her.
?Mrs. Bradley, I couldn?t help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the donation box,? he stated.
?Why yes,? she replied, ?every week my son sends me money, and what I don?t need I give to the church.?
?That?s wonderful, how much does he send you??
?Oh, $2,000 a week.?
?Your son is very successful, what does he do for a living??
?I believe he is a veterinarian,? she answered.
?That is a very honorable profession. Where does he practice??
?Well, he has one cat house in Chicago, and another in Dallas??
A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of shopping at the mall. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, ?Hmmm?. That?s funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills.?
The boy quickly replied, ?That?s right, lady. The last time I found a lady?s purse, she didn?t have any change for a reward.?
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, ?Look mate, don?t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!?
The passenger apologized and said, ?I didn?t realize that a little tap would scare you so much.? The driver replied, ?Sorry, it?s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver ? I?ve been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years.
A cheerful truck driver pulled up at a roadside cafe in the middle of the night for a dinner stop. Halfway through his meal, three wild-looking motorcyclists roared up?bearded, leather-jacketed, filthy.
For no reason at all, they selected the truck driver as a target. One poured pepper over his head, another stole his apple pie, the third deliberately tipped his coffee over. The truck driver never said one word, just stood up, paid his check, and left.
?That truck driver sure ain?t much of a fighter,? sneered one of the bikers.
The girl behind the counter, peering out into the night, added, ?He doesn?t seem to be much of a truck driver, either. He just ran his truck right over three motorcycles.?
A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location.
Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half but accidentally sends the bottom half of the photo.
He?s really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong half, but then remembers how bad his grandmother?s eyesight is, and hopes she won?t notice.
A few weeks later he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says, ?Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style?. it makes your nose look too short."
There was a young fellow who was quite inventive and was always trying out new things. One day he thought he?d see just how fast a bicycle could go before it became uncontrollable. He asked his friend, who owned an old Mustang, if he could tie his bike to the bumper of his car to test his theory. His friend said, ?Sure.?
So the young man tied his bike to the back of the car and said to his friend:
?I?ll ring my bike bell once if I want you to go faster, twice if I want you maintain speed, and repeatedly if I want you to slow down.?
With that, off they went. Things were going pretty well, with the car driver slowly speeding up to well over 60 mph. The young fellow on the bike was handling the speed just fine. But, all of sudden, a black Corvette came up beside them and before you knew it the fellow driving the Mustang forgot all about the fellow on the bike and took to drag racing the Corvette.
A little further down the road sat Officer John in his police cruiser, radar gun at the ready. He heard the two cars before his radar flashed 105 mph.
He called into headquarters on his radio: ?Hey, you guys aren?t going to believe this, but there?s a Corvette and a Mustang racing out here on Highway 3, and there?s a guy on a bike ringing his bell and waving his arms trying to pass them!?
The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place. Grandma couldn?t speak very well, but she could write notes when she needed to communicate.
After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right.
A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left.
Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed her, then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up.
A grandson who arrived late came running up to Grandma and said, ?Hi Grandma, you?re looking good! How are they treating you??
Grandma took out her little note pad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew, ?They won?t let me fart.?
tea and coffee on the go..
morning SF...how are you today then?wow what a very impressive post you put up!!!!:goodjob: you have the courage and convictions of your beliefs....plus you are happy..I really wish you well.
hiya SL...yep Newark was good..successful...but so far not as good as Lincoln ..got to put a bit more work into it!so you have a cheese plant taking over have you?Ive got a banana tree that I bought as a "stick" and nurtured back....on course to be a final height of 2.8 m !!no tears yesterday then ?hey things are looking up!wow what a look back eh?"hey I could have been one of those trying to salvage the busted vino!"glad all ok after the quake.
hiya ppqp...hows you today?all good I hope?so youve got a go pro camera ?are they any good?was thinking about getting one...but use versus cost makes me question it.back at work today?well heres a mahoosive brew to sit down and watch the fireworks...dont forget keep light a few blue touch papers unobtrusively and then sit back!! yeehah fun time!!!:H a very positive outlook maam..we will keep going!!
hiya tt ...how are you today?all good?good one on the profiles..intersting to note..going to change the window shuttering s for the cat....isnt it strange the things we do for our animals?Ive virtually rebuilt my garden since I got my rabbits!again both rescue rabbits,the big one Sandy..she has had a stroke/seizure or something a long the way..one side of her face has dropped...and she is hard of hearing and very nervous..doesnt seem to bother her too much and hopefully we have given her a new life ..the other one is as daft as a brush!!
hey bear wb ..glad all went well with you at your parents house....tahe it bank holiday for you also?
hiya Pauly ....how are you ?jeez no wonder you are tired ..get some me time girl..when was the last time you did anything for you?and I dont mean spend a fortune or anything like that? just some Pauly time doing what you want to do...everyone needs it ...even the wise embroidery granma on here .....speaking of which..
hiya Lav ..hows you today then ?all good?were you playing out yesterday in the garden?wait for it........hopscotch??:H ok ok its not that funny!!yep pity it wasnt the same Newark!!big brew time..if the rain goes off....stone dries ..then may play out!
hiya Sam..how are you today then?All good?take it OBX is the outer banks North Carolina?if so Byrdie lives that way...yep me I like the early mornings just watching things waking up and the quiet and peace...glad the toons sesh went well last night too..any markets today?
right folks fill in the missing letters a,b,... r,s,t,... later
An old snake goes to see his Doctor. ?Doc, I need something for my eyes, I can?t see very well these days.?
The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks.
The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he?s very depressed.
Doc says, ?What?s the problem? Didn?t the glasses help you??
?The glasses are fine doc, but I just discovered I?ve been living with a water hose the past 2 years!?
After she woke up, a woman told her husband,
?I just had a dream that you gave me the most beautiful diamond necklace. What do you think it means??
?You?ll know tonight.? he said with a smile.
The woman could hardly think of anything else all day and she couldn?t wait for her husband to return home.
That evening, the man finally came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.
Delighted, she opened it excitedly to find a book entitled?
?The Meaning of Dreams?
A man walks into a store to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter. ?How much is that Barbie in the window??, he asks the shop assistant.
In a manner she responds, ?Which Barbie? We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $395.00.?
The guy asks, ?Why is Divorced Barbie different from all the others??
?That?s obvious,? the assistant states, ?Divorced Barbie comes with Ken?s house, Ken?s car, Ken?s boat, Ken?s furniture??
4 guys are driving cross-country together ? one from Idaho, one from Nebraska, one from Florida, and the last one is from New York. A bit down the road the man from Idaho starts topull potatoes from his bag and throws them out the window.
The man from Iowa turns to him and asks, ?What the hell are you doing??
The man from Idaho says, ?Man, we have so many of these damned things in Idaho they?re laying around on the ground-I?m sick of looking at them!?
A few miles down the road, the man from Nebraska begins pulling husks of corn from his bag and throwing them out the window.
The man from Florida asks ?What are you doing that for?? The Nebraskan replies,
?Man, we have so many of these damned things in Nebraska I?m sick of looking at them!?
Inspired by the others, the man from Florida opens the car door and pushes the New Yorker out.
A man stood on the side of the road hitch hiking on a very dark night in the middle of a storm. The night was rolling and no cars passed. The storm was so strong, he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly he saw a car come towards him and stop.
The guy, without thinking about it, got in the car and closed the door only to realize that nobody was behind the wheel. The car started moving slowly. The guy looked at the road and saw a curve coming his way.
Scared, he started praying, and begged for his life. He hadn?t come out of shock, when just before he hit the curve, a hand appeared through the window and moved the wheel. The guy, paralyzed in terror, watched how the hand appeared every time before a curve.
The guy gathered strength, got out of the car and ran to the nearest town. Wet and in shock, he ran into a bar and asked for two shots of tequila, and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he went through. A silence enveloped everybody when they realized the guy was crying and wasn?t drunk.
About half an hour later, two guys walked into the same bar, and one said to the other. ?Look, that?s the character who climbed into our car while we were pushing!?
Eight-year-old Nina brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good?mostly A?s and a couple of B?s.
However, her teacher had written across the bottom: ?Nina is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit.?
Nina?s dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: ?Please let me know if your idea works on Nina because I would like to try it out on her mother.?
talkin about cats....
Every Friday night, a little old lady placed $1,000 in the donation box at church. This went on for weeks until the Priest, overcome with curiosity, approached her.
?Mrs. Bradley, I couldn?t help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the donation box,? he stated.
?Why yes,? she replied, ?every week my son sends me money, and what I don?t need I give to the church.?
?That?s wonderful, how much does he send you??
?Oh, $2,000 a week.?
?Your son is very successful, what does he do for a living??
?I believe he is a veterinarian,? she answered.
?That is a very honorable profession. Where does he practice??
?Well, he has one cat house in Chicago, and another in Dallas??
A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of shopping at the mall. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, ?Hmmm?. That?s funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills.?
The boy quickly replied, ?That?s right, lady. The last time I found a lady?s purse, she didn?t have any change for a reward.?
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, ?Look mate, don?t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!?
The passenger apologized and said, ?I didn?t realize that a little tap would scare you so much.? The driver replied, ?Sorry, it?s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver ? I?ve been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years.
A cheerful truck driver pulled up at a roadside cafe in the middle of the night for a dinner stop. Halfway through his meal, three wild-looking motorcyclists roared up?bearded, leather-jacketed, filthy.
For no reason at all, they selected the truck driver as a target. One poured pepper over his head, another stole his apple pie, the third deliberately tipped his coffee over. The truck driver never said one word, just stood up, paid his check, and left.
?That truck driver sure ain?t much of a fighter,? sneered one of the bikers.
The girl behind the counter, peering out into the night, added, ?He doesn?t seem to be much of a truck driver, either. He just ran his truck right over three motorcycles.?
A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location.
Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half but accidentally sends the bottom half of the photo.
He?s really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong half, but then remembers how bad his grandmother?s eyesight is, and hopes she won?t notice.
A few weeks later he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says, ?Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style?. it makes your nose look too short."
There was a young fellow who was quite inventive and was always trying out new things. One day he thought he?d see just how fast a bicycle could go before it became uncontrollable. He asked his friend, who owned an old Mustang, if he could tie his bike to the bumper of his car to test his theory. His friend said, ?Sure.?
So the young man tied his bike to the back of the car and said to his friend:
?I?ll ring my bike bell once if I want you to go faster, twice if I want you maintain speed, and repeatedly if I want you to slow down.?
With that, off they went. Things were going pretty well, with the car driver slowly speeding up to well over 60 mph. The young fellow on the bike was handling the speed just fine. But, all of sudden, a black Corvette came up beside them and before you knew it the fellow driving the Mustang forgot all about the fellow on the bike and took to drag racing the Corvette.
A little further down the road sat Officer John in his police cruiser, radar gun at the ready. He heard the two cars before his radar flashed 105 mph.
He called into headquarters on his radio: ?Hey, you guys aren?t going to believe this, but there?s a Corvette and a Mustang racing out here on Highway 3, and there?s a guy on a bike ringing his bell and waving his arms trying to pass them!?
The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place. Grandma couldn?t speak very well, but she could write notes when she needed to communicate.
After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right.
A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left.
Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed her, then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up.
A grandson who arrived late came running up to Grandma and said, ?Hi Grandma, you?re looking good! How are they treating you??
Grandma took out her little note pad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew, ?They won?t let me fart.?
Comment