tea and coffee on the go now so grab a brew.
hiya Lav..how are you doing today then?all good?hows the foot doing?was labour day a non labour day?big brew for you the noo.
hiya Det....best of luck to you starting today fro your trail on the trail..remember stay away from the inhospitality suite.
Pauly..owe you a biiiig apology ..didnt realise it was 30 days for you so very well done on that :goodjob: :l yes you are right..no one gives a rats about us and how much time we have whether we drink or not..thats why it is so important for us to celebrate it..because we are right the ret of the wureld is wrong!!!so keep it up...lets go for 40 shall we?thats 9 to push you can do it.
hiya SL...yeh yeh so you used the bbq all year..well let me tell you ..so could I..if Id have liked burnt cold sausages and half cooked chicken in the wind and rain!! eeeeee looxoory!!:H how did the running class do ?are you doing the 5k or half marathon? slight difference.back to work today for you is it?have a good day..more to the point hope someone else has a good day thru your efforts.
hiya tt...your post sounds like the start of a western ..hi folks its 2 threads Monday!!ow are you doing?reason I mentioned back to school is..children over here seem to have under developed legs and must be driven to school irrespective of distance !I can assure you ..I have definitely nothing to do with schools or children ..that would be like inviting King Herod to a kids birthday party!!
morning bear ...how are you? that sounds like a pretty good working week to me!!yep using up loads a courgettes too ..stir fries curries ..the lot..all out of the garden.have a great day.
hiya SF...hows you today then?all good...?
right folks ..orf we go on with the show..so take it easy and have a good one.
A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened.
?Well, it was like this,? said the man. ?I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows. We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife?s golf ball? stuck right in the middle of the cow?s butt. That?s when I made my mistake.?
?What did you do??, asks the doctor.
Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife,
?Hey, this looks like yours!?
Two tourists were traveling through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town?s name.
They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee, ?Before we order could you settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly.?
The blonde leaned over and said ?Burrrrrrr Gurrrrrr Kingggg.?
An 80-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. The doctor says, ?George, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God??
George replies, ?God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he?s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I?m done, poof! the light goes off.?
/>?Wow, that?s incredible,? the doctor says. A little later in the day, the doctor calls George?s wife. ?Ethel,? he says, ?George is doing fine! But I had to call you because I?m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof! the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he?s done, poof! the light goes off??
Oh my God!? Ethel exclaims. ?He?s peeing in the refrigerator again!
Two guys left the bar after a long night of drinking, jumped in the car and started it up. After a couple of minutes, an old man appeared in the passenger window and tapped lightly. The passenger screamed, ?Look at the window. There?s an old ghost?s face there!? The driver sped up, but the old man?s face stayed in the window. The passenger rolled his window down part way and, scared out of his wits, said, ?What do you want??
The old man softly replied, ?You got any tobacco??
The passenger handed the old man a cigarette and yelled, ?Step on it,? to the driver, rolling up the window in terror.
A few minutes later they calmed down and started laughing again. The driver said, ?I don?t know what happened, but don?t worry; the speedometer says we?re doing 80 now.? All of a sudden there was a light tapping on the window and the old man reappeared.
?There he is again,? the passenger yelled. He rolled down the window and shakily said, ?Yes??
?Do you have a light?? the old man quietly asked. The passenger threw a lighter out the window saying, ?Step on it!?
They were driving about 100 miles an hour, trying to forget what they had just seen and heard, when all of a sudden there came some more tapping.
?Oh my God! He?s back!? The passenger rolled down the window and screamed in stark terror, ?WHAT NOW??
The old man gently replied, ?You want some help getting out of the mud??
A new business was opening and one of the owner?s friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card, ?Rest in Peace.? The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.
After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied, ?Sir, I?m really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this: somewhere, there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, ?Congratulations on your new location!??
Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O?Leary?s apartment when Paddy Murphy loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue playing standing up.
Michael O?Conner looks around and asks, ?Oh, me boys, someone got?s to tell Paddy?s wife. Who will it be??
They draw straws. Liam Gallagher picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet be gentle, don?t make a bad situation any worse.
?Discreet??? I?m the most discreet Irishmen you?ll ever meet. Discretion is my middle name. Leave it to me?
Gallagher goes over to Murphy?s house and knocks on the door Mrs. Murphy answers and asks what he wants. Gallagher declares: ?Your husband just lost $500 and is afraid to come home?
?Tell him to drop dead!? says Murphy?s wife.
?I?ll go tell him.? says Gallagher.
Four friends reunited at a party after 30 years. After a few laughs and drinks, one of them had to go to the rest room. The ones who stayed behind began to talk about their kids and their successes.
The first guy says:
I am very proud of my son, he is my pride and joy. He started working at a very successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration soon he was promoted and began to climb the corporate ladder becoming the General Manager and now he is the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes Benz for his birthday.
The second guy says:
Damn, that?s terrific!! My son is also my pride and joy, I am very proud of him. He started working at a travelling agency for a very big airline. He went to flight school to become a pilot and also managed to become a partner in the company where he now owns the majority of the assets. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.
The third guy says:
Well, well, well congratulations!! My son is also my pride and joy and he is also very rich. He studied in the best universities and became an Engineer. He started his own construction company and became very successful and a multimillionaire. He also gave away some thing very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday. He built a 30,000 sq ft mansion specially for his friend.
The three friends congratulated each other mutually for the successes of theirs sons.
The fourth friend who earlier had gone to restroom returned and asked:
What?s going on, what are all the congratulations for? One of the three said: We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons.
And then he asked, What about your son?
The forth man replied: My son is Gay and he makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub. The three friends said: What a shame that must be, that is horrible, what a disappointment you must feel!
The fourth man replied: No, I am not ashamed. Not at all. He is my son and I love him just as well, he is my pride and joy. And he is very lucky too. Did you know that his birthday just passed and the other day he received a beautiful 30,000 sq ft mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes Benz from his three boyfriends.
Comment