Taking a break... Length, the longer the better

[Roadside]

30 Oct 14, day TWO.
Finished painting, drank hot chocolate, did some homework, had an AWESOME egg, cheese & spinach sandwich, now snuggled in bed with my doggies ready for a restful, cleansing night's sleep.

Thank you, God, for allowing me my brain, my health, my healthy kids, my family, my ability to do for myself, I am blessed.

[Roadside]

Day THREE once more; got a little rough as the day went on; I should have ran today to exhaust myself ~ managed to snuggle down AF anyway. Saturday looms, How will I keep myself busy? I will do homework in the A.M. then do housework: at minimum paint the rest of my panels and borrow the circular saw, ready to cut.

[Roadside]

1 Nov, not feeling well today. Have a tickle in the back of my throat that is probably allergies, but it is not going away fast enough. Last couple if days I have slept a LOT.

Positive: before my afternoon nap, I accomplished homework, some painting and Ra helped me fix my fence railing. Therefore, nap deserved!

[abcowboy]

You're doing it Rs! :goodjob:

[Roadside]

The newbies nest roll call is a downer when i have to start my count over in the single digits. Maybe I should stay away and not try to post my mid term goals.

I had a horrible dream that woke me up; was enraged at former spouse and screaming 'you can't have both worlds'. Frustrates me I am even thinking of him, I don't know why because I think I have done rather well in the coping process, I think loneliness brought that on. However, I must remind myself I am doing fine and being alone may be my destiny and that is ok because I am capable. No one will respect me more than myself and the mistakes I make are mine, I have control over my choices and I have control over how I respond to what is not in my control.

***Positive: There were an equal amount of AL and AF days in Oct and more AF days than AL days in the last week 27 Oct - 3 Nov Let's continue to típ that scale!***

[Roadside]

Intoxicated tonight, I should be held accountable. However, because of the grace of God I am still here, still breathing. My reasons for choosing AL today? Rain, grief, rejection. Rain, grief for what is dead or unable to be and rejection are bad combos. Why all at once, God? Why does my dog feel my distress and try to comfort me when her life is more terrible than mine? She lives in a fence, not free to come and go, not rejected by the mailman or others she would encounter outside the fence. But I have the freedom to come and go even with the risk of rejection; why do I relish in such luxuries and still am unhappy?

[abcowboy]

Put the glass down roadside, pour everything down the drain, start over tomorrow, but you know you need to stop making excuses and you have to come up with a new plan! We're here to help! I just posted a new poem in the General section, go have a read.....

[Roadside]

Today, I will practice not judging. Judging produces gaps between myself and another. Today, I will not judge, not today.

I will love myself as I am, the way I am is beautiful; I am grateful for this beautiful body; to move, to see, to hear, to embrace, to create, to love and to be loved, I am thankful for this body.

Abcowboy, your encouragement is never ending. Thank you.

[Roadside]

Over 72 hours AF, I have been so busy I haven't even realized it. Now as life slows again, I shall not realize I have not realized an absence of desire.

[narilly]

Roadside, keep trying. We were looking for progress not perfection. Eventually you will have longer and longer abstinence days. Just keep after it.
At the beginning I would visualize where one drink would lead me. It would lead to 2,3,4,5 or more and then I would have a terrible sleep and be hungover in the morning. This stopped me from having the first drink. I just did not want to go there.

You can do it RSide. talk to us, be grateful that you are sober. AL is poison, we all know that!
Hugs,
Narilly

[Roadside]

So I move from my bed to the couch because 2 kids migrated in the middle of the night; I wake up this morning crowded with 2 dogs! It's amazing - little ones don't want to sleep alone but it's a dream for adults ... give me space!!

4 days 10 Nov 14

[abcowboy]

Rs, never stop believing you can do this, never, ever stop believing in yourself! :hug:

[Roadside]

Sick, sick sick wih the seasonal crud. Head hurts, ears ring, restless in general.

I made it 4 days AF through the thanksgiving holiday, ruined it sat night after thanksgiving. AL one night, AF one, AL one, now I am back at one day AF. Yo-Yoing all over the place.

Yet to make it over the 7 day hump. Maybe I should resolve to do this before the end of the year.

[abcowboy]

Great to see you back roadside! Sorry that you're feeling poorly, hope it passes quick. All AF is precious, no matter how many days in a row, how about not worrying about 7 days? Why not just do one day at a time? You'll be surprised at how quickly they add up and you start feeling better and better....every morning just tell yourself that you're not going to drink today, no matter what...

[Roadside]

Tonight, 3 Dec, I am not going to drink. Firstly, my body deserves some TLC due to overcoming a cold. Secondly, I have homework I could be doing.... I could watch Stephen Colbert and actually play with my kids instead. Lastly, I get to eat yummy lasagna and don't want to ruin it! Moreover, I will not drink tonight because I deserve to treat my body well.