tea and cawffee on the go ..help yersel.
hiya ppqp...hows you ?long weekend???this boss thingy has gone to your head!!!you should be there ...finger on the pulse poised for action in the event of any untoward circumstances..sounds good ..means nowt!!here have a brew instead and have a grand loooooonnnnnngggg weekend!
hi det...never really felt like dog crap..but take your word for it matey!!so after a shedful of garlic n vits how do you feel today?hopefully better
hiya Lav...hows you today?and hows the lumberjack doing?did you get the garlic in ..or were you too busy directing wood chopping ops:friendly_wink:bbt then?any plans for the weekend embroidery,gardening enforced kid watching?whatever you do have a good one.
hiya sl...hows you?all grand..that is apart from eejits..yeehah home from home eejits bampots divvies, bamsticks tubes,heedcases..there you go ..just upped your jockanese insults for you!!glad things are on the move for your daughter tho it may be slow.still nae bevvy thoughts?
hiya Sam...hows you then ?all good..hope the shindig goes well..yep tiles off the wall..sold it well!no moaning involved..in fact I got a "good idea..times moving on"there is obviously a catch somewhere..gonna get stung for something!!!
hiya tt..how are you today?2 years plus now..what are you up to this weekend?
hiya dtd..hows the Cape today then?anything planned for the weekend?as long asits a good one thats all that matters....
right is that it? got ebberybuddy ?big shout to those not here....c yawl.
I came home from work early to find my wife without any clothes on.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Erm... I thought we could have a bit of fun," she replied. "Let's play naked hide and seek."
"You're on!" I said, stripping as I ran upstairs. "I'll hide first!"
I went into our bedroom and opened the wardrobe door. My mate Dave was sat there in the nude.
"I'm really sorry, mate," he said.
"Don't worry," I giggled. "I'll hide under the bed!"
I'm facing the sack at work, because according to them, I'm "The worst accountant the company's ever had." And I "Haven't got a fecking clue about numbers."
Yeah, whatever. It's nothing I haven't heard befive.
The British man who was jailed for homesexual acts in Morocco describes prison as horrendous.
"Guards wearing white socks with black trousers, non organic produce in the canteen, last seasons prison wear and the absence of mens skin care products at the prison shop. It was a never ending nightmare."
I was just changing a lightbulb and thought.....
"This jokes going to be crap!"
A girl brought me back to her place.
After a few glasses of wine, she asked, "You want to go to bed?"
"Yeah, sounds great," I replied, walking up the stairs. "See you in the morning."
Irony: having a coke machine reject your dollar bill for it being rolled up to many times.
Two blondes suddenly got into bird hunting and were eager to try it out for themselves. They had read that a birddog is a great and useful accessory in bird hunting, so they decided to go to the pet shop and buy one. They asked for a well-trained birddog, and got one. The two blondes immediately went to the woods to try it out. The dog didn't work. No matter how hard they tried, it just didn't follow their commands. They became really frustrated and one of the blondes said to her companion, “Okay, we'll give him one more try. We'll throw him in the air one more time and if he doesn't fly, we're taking him back to the store!”
Q: Why did God create man before woman?
A: He needed a rough draft before he made a final copy.
Lem: "I got fired from my job as a bank guard."
Clem: "That's awful. What happened?"
Lem: "Well, a thief came in, and I drew my gun. I told him that if he took one more step, I'd let him have it."
Clem: "What did the thief do then?"
Lem: "He took one more step, so I let him have it. I didn't want that stupid gun anyway."
SIGNS YOU'RE WATCHING TOO MUCH TV
The bumper sticker on your car reads: "What Would Dawson Do?"
In the middle of an exam, you tell the professor you want to use a lifeline.
You need to be tranquilized when the cable goes out.
In the late evening, you look forward to sitting back and catching the latest informercial.
If you're a witness to an argument, you instinctually shout, "Jer-ry! Jer-ry! Jer-ry!"
You try to impress the opposite sex by saying, "Hey, I get 120 channels!"
Your entire CD collection consists of "Greatest Hits" albums by the decade.
You have a gold-plated "clicker."
Your intellectual discussions all stem from The Discovery Channel.
After 15 minutes of work, you need a two-minute break.
Comment