tuesday Oct thingy!!!

[Mick]

mae all how are yiz today?all good I hope..just thought I would put a quick post up today...aint stopping long...feel absolutely shattered,no get up n go ..or anything..dont feel ill or owt...just completely washed out..tbh think its a combination of doing a bit and also every now n again, these high blood press tablets take my bp too low, and I reckon its one of them days..been told this morning to sit and do nothing...not bad eh?..unfortunately I struggle with that aspect!!big brew time..hope everyone has a good day..normal service will be resumed at the earliest opportunity :happy2::thumbsup:

cya

[DreamThinkDo]

Ta for the coffee, Mick - here's something in return: we can't have your thread without a joke or two. Not that I tell them as well as you. Be better soon, ok?

Man: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
Woman: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!


A motorist was driving quietly along the road when, suddenly, his eyes goggled as, believe it or not, he espied a three-legged chook running beside him. It suddenly made a right hand turn, heading up a side track towards a nearby farm house. Intrigued, the motorist decided to follow the chook. At the end of the track, he met a farmer leaning on a gate.
The motorist said, “You probably won’t believe this, but I reckon I saw a three-legged chook running this way.”
The farmer was nonchalant in response. “Yep, we breed them here.”
“But why?” asked the motorist.
“Well, you see, I like a leg, my wife likes a leg, and me son likes a leg.”
“And what do they taste like?”
“Dunno”, replied the farmer, “no one can catch the little bastards.”


A honeymoon couple is in the Watergate Hotel in Washington. The bride is concerned. “What if the place is still bugged?”
The groom says, “I’ll look for a bug.” He looks behind the drapes, behind the pictures and under the rug. “AHAH!” Under the rug was a disc with four screws.
He gets his screwdriver, unscrews the screws, and throws the disc out the window.
The next morning, the hotel manager asks the newlyweds, “How was your room? How was the service? how was your stay at the Watergate Hotel?”
The groom says, “Why are you asking me all of these questions?”
The hotel manager says “Well, the room under you complained about the chandelier falling on them!”

A youngster rushed into a barber's shop and asked to be given a haircut and a shave immediately.
"You wait your turn young man," said the barber, "I will get to you after the others waiting before you have been attended to. It will take an hour or two."
The young fellow ran out of the barber's shop. He came the next day, the day after and for many days subsequently. Every time he was told to wait his turn, he fled.Not being able to contain his curiosity, the barber asked his assistant to follow the young man and find out where he came from and where he went after leaving his shop.
The assistant did so and reported back, "I don't know where the fellow comes from but as soon as you tell him you will be busy for the next hour or two, he runs to your home."


The skipper of a tramp steamer, in writing up the log recording an eventful day, rounded off his task with the entry: "Mate intoxicated."
To the mate, who indignantly protested on reading it, the skipper retorted: "Well, it's true, ain't it?"
On the following day it was the mate's duty to write up the log, and he completed his account with "Skipper sober."
The captain stared at it for a moment, then exploded.
"Well, it's true, ain't it?" was the mate's rejoinder!

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I’m a female impersonator.


Have a great day, all!

[Lavande]

Good morning Abbers,

Mick, sorry you're feeling under the weather - you have company!
I've been up since 3 am with something causing pain & swelling in the right side of my face
I suspect there may be an infection brewing under one of my dental crowns so I'm going to call the dentist. Hope you feel better soon!

DTD, thanks for stepping in for Mick
Hope you are well!

Greetings to everyone, have a great day. I'll check in later after I figured out what the heck is wrong with me

Lav

[Mick]

dtd...hey what a brill stand in you are!!!shamed me into this now!!

Enjoy these 26 funniest charting errors that were found on actual medical charts.

Assessment

All charting errors starts with assessment, of course.

1. “On the second day, the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared!”

2. “Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.”

3. “She is numbed from her toes down.”

4. “Cough with flame”


5. “Rectal examination revealed a normal sized thyroid”.


6. “Skin: somewhat pale but present.”

7. “The skin was moist and dry.”

8. “Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.”

9. “Patient was alert and unresponsive.”

Medical History

10. “The patient has no previous history of suicides.”

11. “The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.”

12. “She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got separated”,

13. “Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities”,

14. “The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.”

Weird Nursing Diagnoses

15. “Acute pain related to witchcraft”.

16. “Bowel incontinence related to shyness”.

17. “Insomnia related to computer games”.

Interventions & Others

18. “Discharge status: Alive but without permission.”

19. “The patient refused autopsy.”

20. “With 02 inhalation via foley bag catheter attached to urobag.”

21. “Advised patient to take a bath”

22. “IVF consumed and terminated then replaced with the same IVF”

23. “Regulated IVF to KVO to run for 2 hours”

24. “While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.”

25. “The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.”

26. “She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night”.

I see there's a UK version of Storage Hunters starting tomorrow.

They'll probably come across a container full of illegal immigrants.

Neil Armstrong's initials are not applicable to me

"I'd like the fish please," I said to the waitress.

"Plaice?"

"Erm.. here would be good."

David Cameron is said to be safe and well after the clash with a runner on the street.

"I am fed up of benefit scrounging, second rate citizens not watching where they are going" said the jogger.

An eyewitness who was shocked that a jogger got so close to David Cameron today said,

"He could've had a knife. "

He could've certainly had mine, and probably twenty million more.

Britain's fattest woman has died after eating the entire contents of the fridge.

Her husband is said to be so devastated.

He had only just replaced the bulb.

[paulywogg]

Mae everybody,Mick,i hope you feel better soon try and take it easy today,but i know how you are,thanks for the jokes and thank you DTD for filling in:thumbsup:Sam,i always get a case of the blues when the seasons change,not that they do that noticibly here in Vegas but i think it's just a feeling in the air,after Christmas and New Years this year,i was a wreck,vit D i should start on anyways,i was low awhile back in my bloodwork,Lav,i suppose when people first move here they get enticed to gamble but it wears off for some,others get trapped into that lifestyle,i was born and raised in NV(not vegas)so i was always around it,my gramma used to take me to the casino in our little town,park me in the arcade with quarters and i'd play pac-man and space invaders while she played her slots,it's a fond memory for some reason,SL,i think TT was just saying you are probly just exhausted from all thats going on,i'm sure your endorphins are pumping:sohappy:but sometimes i think mental exhaustion wears us down more than physical,where's SF?she said she'd be a better poster haha,have Louie til 7:30 tonite,i'm making his fave food of pasta,chicken and cheese,he always eats 2 plates! i get excited cuz he's a picky eater,hi Det good luck on finding the "perfect"house,i hate house hunting! seems as if the house is great the yard sux,or vice versa,always something anyways,hi PPQP,i forgot to get Kell's humidifier they use for Louie when he's sick yesterday,so i didn't get to try it,ineed to though damn sinus headache everyday! well ive flapped my gums for long enough,have a good Tuesday everybody(get rest Mick!!!!)

[scottish lass]

Hi all - still blue - hope it is not catching?? Mick, glad to see that you took your own advice and settled for a wee while. Lav get better too you hear!
Pauly - yes, the emotional is draining - that is why I am trying harder than normal to do some exercise - had committed to moving yesterday but did not get round to it
Det - good luck with the house hunt....
Howdy DTD!
Hi everyone else that signs in today. Here in the big office sneaking a post in - felt pretty melancholic driving in to the office today - having a bit of a pity party which i really hate...

[Samstone]

Hey ho all!
got the phone on speaker waiting to talk with an insurance rep.... been about 10 minutes so far. Canceling one to try to sign up for another.

Mick, what's up? you doing ok? BP meds can be whacky. One of the major reasons I quit drinking was my pressure was near a boiling point. I still have to keep an eye on it. Maybe taking er easy is good idea.

Well done on the jokes DTD, they were good and shamed Mick into it!

Hey Lav hope you're doing better. Lots of hurtin stuff going on here, hope it's not catching.

SL, hope your blues and blah get on out of here. I get them too. very odd off feeling.

Hey Pauly, vit D's a good thing. In the winter I make sure I do that. I do gingko too for memory but I can't remember where I put it!

greetings Det, Cinders, PQ, others missed.
Sam

[Lavande]

Got right in to see the dentist at 10 am - lucky!
Yep, I have a dead root in one tooth causing all this nonsense. He cleaned it out & put on a temporary cap. After one week on an antibiotic I get to go back for a root canal - yuck
but the good news is the swelling in my face is starting to go down. I really looked like a damn chipmunk this morning. Not even funny, LOL

Hi there Mick, looks like you are feeling a bit better!
Pauly, I picked up an inexpensive humidifier at Walmart a couple of years ago - good enough for the bedroom. This afternoon I finally Googled instructions on how to turn on the whole house humidifier - yay.

SL, skip the pity party, it's a waste of good time & energy!
Turn on the gratitude channel - that's what I've done today

Sam, hope you got the insurance stuff straightened out. Insurance companies are not on my list of favorite things.

I stepped out on the deck to watch the rocket launch from VA & found out the thing exploded just after liftoff - sad.
No one hurt, it was unmanned.

I really hope I can catch some much need sleep tonight.
Hi there PQ!

[porqoui]

Awe SL:heartbeat: I'm so sorry you're still feeling this way. I just want to say I am so PROUD of you.
You are so STRONG not to turn to the easy way out. You are doing the right thing by posting.
Just wish I had some words of wisdom for you. Hang in there......:happy2:PPQP

[porqoui]

Wow...Lav, that sucks about your tooth. At least you're getting it dealt with.

Sam...I'm with Lav about insurance companies. Hope someone eventually came on the line.

Pauly...did you track down a humidifier yet?

DTD...nice job filling in. Enjoyed the jokes.

Mick...I hope you took it easy today.

Off to think about dinner. Have a peaceful evening all.....:happy2:PPQP

[Samstone]

hey, where'd TT disappear to?

[treetops]

I'm here but i should be working not on the internet. 4.25pm on Wed afternoon.