wed 10th dec

[Mick]

mornin all ..how are we doing today?ok I hope..been up since about 4 this morning couldnt sleep,so got up and did some work...the push is to get this lot nearly finished for Chrimbo..wont get the tiling done aint even thinking about that at the mo,but if we can get everything else done it would be good..
ok time for tea/coffee...

hiya Sam..how are you today then?all ok?havent heard much about the mushroomin recently ...is that still on the go?weather still holding you back?...any spare beeswax for polish?

good mornin Lav...apologies for missing your fred yesterday!!we need pics of cookies!!!I will be glad to get back to using the cooker again...even Julie said that...reckons I make great stir fries...only once tho..forget what and how much I put in them!!big brew modom ?here you go..shelving in and polished with carnuba and beeswax ..its great stuff...at £73 for 5 litres it should be!!its got a beautiful grain in it


hiya SL.what a cracking prezzie..just shows what your staff think of you..must be a good un you!!what are you going to do with the wine?why not raffle it off and give the dosh to transplants?bet they are thinking ..ok she stopped drinking before the wine did..so what happened?

hiya pauly..how are you feeling today?saying nowt about drinking ..honestly thats down to you..but apart from that hope you are ok..who knows what was going on in his head??so to blame yourself which is what you are doing isnt really being fair on yourself..or the family

hi ppqp..hows thing in yore neck of the woods today?all ok..

right folks for the off..going to play about with the lights today!!..have a good day all

[treetops]

Well I posted before Mick - but in the interests of group harmony I have copied and pasted so that we only have one thread!!!

Hi there folks – it Wednesday night here and I am back in my usual timezone – although not quite settled yet so tired and a bit grouchy.

First, really sorry to read what you have gone through Pauly. Suicide is terrible – no matter the age – but its really tragic when it's a young person. Its always so tough for those who have to deal with this and there are a range of intense emotions, blame, anger and grief. Then we often think of what we could have done but the thing is, that you will never know and its so complex. Maybe a few words might have changed things but that's unlikely, and for how long – who knows? Young people, often are very impulsive – we know this. Whatever Pauly you must not blame yourself. As others said, drinking won’t help you deal with this – the pain remains, the issues to be addressed remain. And Brady needs you more than ever. Its horrible that all the other tragedies came at once. Grieve Pauly, talk to people if you can, listen to Brady – or just be there for when he connects. But please try not to drink anymore. Its hard because your job demands a smile so you will just have to be superficial at the moment.

Mick – I also have to get a new washing machine. This has been needed for the past few months – and we have got by with stopping and starting it – but its kaput time. I just have to get the time and energy to check out the machines and also decide if I want a new dryer as well. There are limitations because of space but I want a separate dryer and washer – not a combo.

SL – that's so cool about the voucher your team gave you – and how thoughtful. Its sort of a wee bit scary – because now everyone knows you are definitely sober (and that implies no slip-ups but we won’t will we) but it also shows that they respect you and are behind you. I was given a free bottle of wine at duty free yesterday (when I bought lots of chocolate and perfume) and I kept it, as its always a gift for someone else or there to offer if we ever have guests. It doesn’t bother me. The chocolate does though!

Christmas tree is up – family did it while I was away. I managed to get some gifts on my travels but I have a few more to collect.

I still have to catch up on what you all have been up to – but big hello also to Lav, PPQP, Sam, Det, SF, and all others.

Better get this posted before Mick beats me to it

[Samstone]

morning all
I was wondering which thread to go to, decision making never was my forte. Breezy cool day BUT the sun is out. 'Veying work 1/2 day then to the eye doc this afternoon. I haven't been forever. Guess I have to see way there finally.

How do Mick? Still doing the mushroom thang. 2 more markets then I'm done till April. I have to look into the beeswax (polish?)
Morning TT and glad to have you back. Hope we get to see some pics of where you were!

Pauly, I think TT hit the nail on the head, can't add much to it. Thinking of you.

well off to feed the critters. Hello to everyone.
Sam

[Lavande]

Good morning Abbers!

Happy Hump day to all
Yep, it's cold & windy today but the sun has made an appearance - yay!

You'll have to wait for cookies Mick, no time yet to get them started. I need to get my worked squared away & then just tell people my shop is closed for the holidays. I need time for my own holiday preparations.
Get the most important stuff done in your kitchen then let the rest wait until after Christmas

Welcome home TT!
Good luck washer shopping - always a thrill to do that stuff this time of year!

Pauly, thinking about you & hope you are OK :hug:

Greetings Sam. SL, Det, PQ & everyone!
Have a great AF day everyone, I'll check in later.

Lav

[paulywogg]

Mae everybody,i am so sorry to be all me,me,me,i just needed to talk it out,and no drinking did not help me or Brady,i need to be there for him i feel deally selfish,how do you guys deal with emotions that you've avoided for so long?that's the hardest part for me,seriously my whole body felt numb yesterday,i hated everybotdy! then i just thought i'd rather be drunk then deal with that ugly feeling,but now i feel uglier feelings,i really appreciate you guys helping me through all of this,i do not take you for granted even though it seems like it sometimes,SL,that is a cool gift they gave you,Lav,get some cookies baked,Mick,post some chrimbo dec picshello Sam,Det,PPQP

[paulywogg]

And TT,SF

[Mick]

hiya tt ..welcome home ..oops q jumped the post start again this morning..apologies..will leave it open for nother starter tomorrow..hows you pauly?..nope no one says you take them for granted..youre part of this mad gang..but we gotta get you off the booze trail ..no matter what..you just gotta think it through....

[paulywogg]

I do Mick,that is the hardest part,i was reading the newbies nest and someone posted you have to WANT it,heaven knows i do,i like sober me(most of the time)of course nobody wants to throw away sober days and feel like a failure,i just don't know anymore,greiving this kid just makes me think of my own family and if something happens to one of them how will i deal?i feel like a total failure,i hate feeling like that! one thing i know is i'm a fighter,i may look like an asshole with my chronic relapsing,but i never back down,jeez wish i would remeber that beforhand

[scottish lass]

Pauly - you seem to know what you need - I do wish you had managed to sign on here earlier - before drinking - I know it has worked for me. You say you are a fighter - we are in your corner, let us mop your brow!!

Happy hump day all - getting ready for worse storm in 7 years here - 5 inches rain and 60mph winds - and lots of snow - you can just imagine the weather alerts and news hoopla that is going on!! Hope my trees don't fall down!

[Mick]

sl..weve got serious storm warnings too..its blowing a hooley out there and raining to match...

pauly...you aint a failure so dont think that..it will happen ..you just havent got it right up to now...suddenly it will click so lets see you smile!!!:hug:

[paulywogg]

I know Mick,i get good stretches it's not like i'm drinking everyday praying for sobriety,i work at it,hard! SF once posted she would not be controlled by what's in her glass(or something like that)it's a stupid liquid! dumb ass alkies like me give it power over everything else,SL,i did get on before i drank,tried to nap,,got dumb insteadaccording to the news we're gonna get the remainder of your storm,weirdo weather

[porqoui]

I agree with Mick...you're not a failure Pauly :heartbeat: And like SL said we are all in your corner. You've gone through alot the last couple of weeks. You'll be back on track soon, I've seen you do it.

Greetings to everyone else. All day workshop and I'm "typed" out. Have a peaceful evening all.....:smile: PPQP

[Lavande]

Hey guys!

Pauly - it's not that you are a failure, not by any means. The problem is you haven't changed your coping methods & still haven't completely removed drinking AL as an option.
I found the hypno CDs extremely helpful. They helped me change my thinking in a way I never could have done on my own. There are thousands of ways to cope with sadness, anger, whatever without ever touching a drop of AL. I just had to try a few things to see what worked best for me. You can do the same thing & get the same results :hug:
Another big deal for me was learning to live completely in the present. Don't worry about yesterday, it's history & don't worry about tomorrow, it's the future. The only thing we can completely control is this very minute, it's all we truly have. Make your choice for this very minute, this hour, this day. that way you are not overtaxing yourself - you can do this!

Good night to all. It's freaking freezing & windy here - the fire is nice!

[treetops]

Pauly - dealing with raw and suppressed emotions is bloody tough but thats what most people in the world have to do. Sure, many find comfort or answers in religion (I don't) but its only a minority that turn to booze. We all know about that.
You are not a failure - you couldn't be. You need to believe more in yourself but at the moment your soul is battered. It takes time to heal and it takes a long time. Part of healing I think is to accept that we all are far from perfect. That doesn't mean we roll over and go back to sleep and just turn a blind eye but it means we help one another as best we can. We are here for you Pauly but we are not standing over you demanding this or that. You are our friend and you are one of us and as Mick and others say, you will get there and say goodbye, booze monster.
I might be late tonight so Mick you have permission to start the Thursday thread - haha!!!

[Samstone]

Pauly
just wanted to chime, I think Lav is very correct, coping without booze is a real goal. AND absolutely you are NOT a failure. Today/tomorrow is always a fresh day. Never feel that you can't be here, everyone is here for each other

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