Judicious January

[Lavande]

Good morning friends

I actually see the sun rising, how nice! And it's a balmy 10 degrees, Ha Ha!!!

Star, I generally stay off those threads but I felt annoyed that so many really good people were being abused. If I didn't know better I would swear that miserable poster was my brother - no kidding! I recognized that same obnoxious, know-it-all attitude! How precious coming from a chronic loser, don't you think? People like that irritate me, staying away from them is high on my priority list!
Glad you liked my sheep tile, quite unusual but fun. I saw that tile in a picture frame at the pottery shop way back when we first moved in & sill had a lot of finishing work to do. All I did was ask if I could get one unframed & they were happy to oblige. I'm glad to hear that your 'automatic response' to a difficult situation has changed. I used to anger very quickly but not anymore. I am truly vested in keeping my mindpeace. We work hard to find it so we need to protect it all costs, right?

Papmom, I'm glad you are enjoying your new washer
My daughter has been living without one for the past two years & she is so looking forward to not having to drag laundry out the laundermat once they make settlement on their house. This week's cold weather has been difficult & downright dangerous. Keeping the animals safe is a big priority! I bet you are excited about your new job ~ awesome!!

Greetings Dill, I imagine you have been on non-stop grandma duty. Fun but exhausting, I know. I hope your son is improving.

Greetings Cyn! Hope you are doing well & staying warm.
I have been especially conscious of what I've been eating this week & feel much better. I allowed too many 'unhappy' foods to enter my system over the holidays that really disrupted my gut peace. Glad the holidays are over for another year!!!

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Saturday! Stay warm & stay happy!

Lav

[Lavande]

Cross post Dill!

Sorry to hear you have had such a rough week. Aren't you grateful to be clear-headed to tackle it all?

The standard treatment for a DVT is blood thinners, bedrest & warm soaks. Keeping that leg elevated is important to reduce pain & swelling. I sure hope your son improves quickly!
Everyone around here has been dealing with viral insults of the respiratory & GI types including my daughter & granddaughter
I hope your crew gets well soon & YES, this too shall pass :hug:
Take good care of yourself Dill!

[treegirl]

Good Morning!

Pap - good to hear from you, busy gal. I forgot this was the week of the construction at your work...so sorry you were cold. I'm wearing long underwear at home, too - I turn down the heat when it gets this cold; just can't bear the thought of all those $$ going to propane. But we're staying warm and happy here. 9 degrees this morning. Boy dog went out to pee, but refused to go out again after brekkie; can't say as I blame him! Have fun tomorrow at the Agility. I'm going to bring up my new 'tunnels' for the dogs to work in, and figure out a 'find it' game...they are getting antsy too.

Star - wow, you are handling a lot. How exasperating about the Lease company - they are contributing to their bad karma! Good for you for keeping your head - and your stress levels down - by moving on. So glad to hear that food changes are helping you feel better and stronger; you go girl!

Lav - I gave myself the gift last night of a long session on MindBodyGreen - following all the little links, like Alice down the Rabbit Hole. Great info, and great to find that I am familiar/am already doing much of it, but it's always a good reminder to keep on keeping on. I did a lot of reading about the microbiome - wow, we really literally 'are what we eat'; literally. Great to hear your girls are happy - I actually am feeding the birds for the first time in years. A finch sock, a feeder tube, one suet block. Today I'll add another suet block - I put a cherry mix in the first one, and one particular flicker is decimating it, and the little birds are scared to try to use it. I also made an improvised birdbath with a cheapy water heater, which is working just fine. I have a small circular feeder where you put small 'wreaths' of food for particular birds: cardinals, etc. I'll buy more of them today, but I'm thinking that I might start making them like you do...I just have to find/create a mold that is the right size.

Dill - hope you are doing OK - you must be T-I-R-E-D at this point...take care.

So fun to see so much life in the winter! So nice to feel good in the mornings, and be able to enjoy life inside and outside of the house.

Stay warm everybody - happy Saturday.

[treegirl]

x-post Dill and Lav - I had to take a break in the middle of writing, and got back to it about an hour later. The post was still active, thank goodness.

Dill - big hugs to you - I'm sorry, it sounds like you are under siege. I agree, it's a pain to drive a long way to see a doc, but if you have one that respects and listens to your son, it's worth it. Good luck to your him - sorry he has to deal with ignorance and attitude from people who should be helping him.

Take care all -

[papmom3]

I did it! Got my rear out of bed and went to Aqua Jam!! It was fun-reconnected with a former colleague and met some really nice women. It wasn't as kick ass as the Thursday nite Water Bootcamp but it was just right for a Saturday morning. did my grocery shopping after that and spent the rest of the afternoon doing laundry and getting ready for tomorrow. Lunch and snacks are made-supplies packed. Will be getting up at 4:30-ahhhhhh!!!:egad:
Star-this is really happening! You had the home inspection!! Hope it went well and that there were no huge surprises. Nice job on taking the higher road with the lease company-I'm sure the result was in your favor because of it!!
Dill-you poor thing! all that sickness. How is everyone felling today? I sure hope your son can get the help he needs. Why are the doctors not taking him seriously?? Huge hugs coming your way.
Tree-did you put your pups through agility work today?
Lav-what were you up to today?
So cold still! I bought new cuddle duds today-size M. Was swimming in my old ones so they weren't at all effective. I believe I am ready for my 4x daily treks to and from work starting the 20th.
3 more days of the old job!!! Wonder when I can change my linked-in profile? the day I leave?

[SnoopyC]

Good morning everyone...

Up early today, had a good nights sleep, drinking some warm and wonderful coffee.

Lav, loved your comment, "how precious coming from a chronic loser." I always think of not wanting to harm anyone else here. What we say and our journeys are important to everyone. Look at all the people that view our thread! Obviously moderation does not work for individuals who have the allergy to alcohol. But to attack people with longer term sobriety is inexcusable and could result in their leaving MWO and there is a need for seniors to encourage and help new people who are so sick and scared. Yesterday I had some time so watched a documentary of young people old before there time due to drinking. Wow, were they sick, in pain, and it was so scary. Watching that was so painful, drinking had no appeal at all. Aren't our bodies amazing, one week of eating well and you and I are both feeling healthier, with more energy, in the midst of winter.

Dill, whew, you are in the middle of it right now. Sending you strength and positive energy. I have to comment on the arrogant, incompetent doctors. It is not their role to judge, that is crazy! I find it interesting that Lav, as a nurse, knows the normal protocol for his issues. Yes, maybe he needs more, but how can an educated professional, no two educated professionals, be so incompetent. It is not right. I wonder why some choose to go into the health field when they are so not healers, dislike people, and do so much harm. So sorry he had to go through this. When things like that happen, when you are actually put down and shamed for being in recovery, that is when it is so important to have MWO, an AA group, or some source of outside support. I found it heartwarming to hear that your granddaughter wanted her Daddy. He is obviously doing a great job with his kids. The bugs that are going around this year are powerful, and this is one tough winter. Hopefully you can take care of hubby today, make a warm meal, and indulge in much needed Dill time.

Pap,have fun today on your active Sunday. You have so much energy and are full of LIFE. It is fun to read your posts and all you do.

Cyn, isn't it so fun to feed the birds and watch them? A friend and I started this hobby about 25 years ago, obtained bird books, visited stores that had feeders, found different types of food, and identified all the visitors. We read up on various things you can do, especially in the winter, as that is a tough time. One year a neighbor gave me their old Christmas tree and I placed it sideways, so it was a shelter, and put the feeders around that . We were able to enjoy the bird activity all winter. Suet was expecially popular and I think I made some with the kids help. I was home more then and like to include them. I plan on getting finch feeders this spring and starting there. Just think, if we were drinking alcohol, we would be focused on that: the cycle of drinking, recovering, drinking, recovering. When you are in that cycle it is so hard to do anything but function. I question why we robbed ourselves of life's pleasure for so long.

Have a terrific Sunday.

[dill]

Cyn, feeding the birds was a hobby of mine for many years. I took a break this winter and last primarily due to priorities. The bird feeding had become quite costly as I had several feeders going and the birds would go thru the feed so fast! And of course there was the constant battle with raccoons. Not so much with squirrels tho as the dogs kept them away during the day. I started my love of bird watching and feeding in my childhood because it was an interest of my dad’s. (Star, you many have instilled the interest in your kids, just like my dad did me.) I can still remember his Golden Book of North American Birds and how he would look up the birds and identify them. Childhood memories and experiences are so important, aren’t they. Well, anyway, when the troubles started with my son’s family and they all came to live with us and finances suddenly needed to be altered to care for the increased household costs. I plan on getting back to it one day so my grandchildren can learn to love it like I did! How is your new business developing? Did you disseminate your flyers and have you had any responses? If you feel comfortable sharing would you mind telling a bit about what your new enterprise is? Thank you for all your support, Cyn. It means the world to me.

Lav, thank you so much for the “standard treatment” for DVT. You won’t believe it but we did not get that from the medical visits. I read the discharge papers with the care suggestion. It was not there. I told my son immediately. He did find some relief from the pain yesterday although it was temporary. Let me ask you, does a hot pad work in lieu of a warm soak? He can’t afford time for a long soak, if you know what I mean. But he can manage a hot pad while watching a show or something with the kids. Thank you also for your constant support these past 6 years. YIIIKES! Has it really been nearly 6 years!

Star, thank you for your long comment regarding the doctors. I too am angry that people in the medical profession could be so uncaring. And the second doctor was at the VA! I think for a little while after all the kerfuffle took place on the news regarding the VA his care over there improved. He had many good experiences there. But perhaps they are going back to the status quo since the media attention has ebbed. It’s a shame. He described his experience and it was, as he put it, “a nightmare”. He felt sorrier for the others in the waiting room than for himself as many of them weren’t physically/mentally able to fend for themselves and had to accept and tolerate the disrespectful and uncaring treatment. You are so right when you talked about what an absolute blessing it is to have broken out of the prison of alcohol dependence and the slow but deadly cycle of drink/recover/remorse/repeat. I know that I managed to function, as you say, and I managed to carry on some enjoyable activities. But the focus was on wine. Everything else was secondary. It’s so nice to be fully present once more. So sorry you don’t get to see your grandson this weekend. You’ll be surprised when you do see him and how much he’ll have changed in two weeks time. And, since you are AF, you will notice the details more fully! Thank you for your steady support to me here.

Papmom, I do so enjoy reading your adventures. You are so active and busy. How your current life compare to what you would have been doing 5 years ago? I know this is going to sound like an odd question, but do you think your dogs played a role in your decision to go af and a role in your recovery? Thank you ever so much for the support you have given me here.

Off I go now. Enjoy a peaceful, slightly warmer, AF Sunday.

[Lavande]

Good morning friends

Sunny & 18 degrees, yay!!! Ha Ha, it sounds odd to say that!!!

Star, about that guy & his inflammatory postings......
I never, ever go out looking for fights. There's no need to because fights will find you - just the nature of the beast. Growing up with 3 brothers taught me that lesson. I learned when to stand my ground & defend myself & basically just tell them to shut the hell up, LOL
I hate a bully, I really do. In my mind bully = loser. It's that simple. And I really can't stand seeing people/friends being picked on either. I know when to unleash my Lavanittude!!!!
AL is more harmful than I ever imagined. I can see that now after a good long period without. What a gift we've given ourselves!

Dill, I think we are at the point of being 'old friends' after almost 6 years
I'm sorry the VA treated your son so poorly but it seems pretty typical. They have a long history of treating people with indifference I'm afraid. My experience with them was never good.
The warm soaks provide pain relief, reduce swelling & basically make people sit down & elevate the limb which is a good thing. Moist soaks are the best choice. The easiest thing to do at home is to wrap the limb in a warm, wet towel, wrap it with a trash bag & sit for 20 mins or so with the leg elevated 4 or so times/day if possible.
Was he given any dietary guidelines with his anticoagulant therapy? Depending on what med them put him on, some people need to avoid foods high in Vit K (which acts as a coagulant).
How about a compression stocking? That is also standard protocol in DVT treatment. You can buy them without Rx these days in the drug stores. They also provide comfort & reduce swelling. I sure hope he heals quickly. You are a good mama & grandma, don't ever lose sight of that

Feeding birds has become quite expensive, what a shame. I have a large feeder that I try to keep filled & boy has there been lots of activity lately. It provides great entertainment for myself & the kids too. Unfortunately that damn hawk that recently killed two of my chickens is known to pick a bird right off the feeder from time to time. I witnessed that event a few days ago, damn

The weather reports are calling for a wintry icy mix tomorrow morning, boo hiss. Do.not.like.ice!

Greetings Papmom, hope you are having a fun day!

Cyn, I just love that MindBodyGreen website. You really can just dive in & spend a whole day there!

Have a great day everyone!

Lav

[treegirl]

Good Sunday morning!

Pap - good job on the swim - that's hard to do in the middle of winter. I have to say that later in your post you said that you were 'swimming' in your cuddle-duds, and for a moment I took that literally - I had a mental image of you in the pool with them on...I actually thought, wow, that 's an interesting way to swim! Anyway - hope you have a great time today; sending you safe traveling vibes.

Lav - I have to say that the most valuable information I've usually gotten in the medical field is from wonderful nurses like you! Simple, straightforward, this-is-how-it-works info. I feel bad for the patients that didn't have you as a nurse!

Dill and Star - my love of feeding the birds comes also from my father. I can see him, in the house that they built, sitting in his swivel chair, checking out the feeders outside the bay window. And if a squirrel happened to decide to dig in? He would open the window and screech like a banshee - scaring the squirrel, the birds, and the neighbors. I think most of them thought he was nuts! (the neighbors, that is.) He was very ill in the last January of his life, and it was a very hard winter with lots of snow. Bless my mom's heart, she trudged out there as often as she could and filled the feeders so that he could watch the birds...

Star - I had a plan to take the xmas tree out by where the feeders are! I don't have racoons (that I know of), but I'm cutting the branches up a ways - I don't want the mice to think that they can move in -- it's a little too close to the house. I'm hoping that will give the birds some much needed wind-proofing. I'll add another suet today, and yesterday I got some more 'cakes'. I'm only feeding the little birds (except that ravenous flicker). I don't want to get into the big seeds for bigger birds; I'm sticking with pine siskins, finches, and chikadees - I have to look up the others that are coming, but they're beautiful; lovely greys and cream colors.

Ditto everyone on the amazing change in ones' life being free from AL.

Dill - I'll write more about my new/old project at some point. Basically it's organizing and move services like I did before, but with more speaking engagements and teaching. I'm hoping to get an on-going de-clutter drop-in class going as well, and maybe some 'distance' organizing. Feedback from you guys would be great! What are your challenges, and what would be a great way for you to get information?

Hope all have a lovely day today -

[SnoopyC]

Good morning...

Still waking up, enjoying that coffee. We have ice and it is slick. Great, what a fun drive this morning.

Dill, I am still in shock at your son's deficits in healthcare. What, they didn't even tell him what Lav instructed? A complaint is in order, although a lot of good that would do. It is not just the VA, it is all medical facilities, big and small. I just don't understand it. A few weeks ago when I went to the Urgent Care, I was sicker than a dog, and was told I just had a cold. I had an ear infection, sore throat, dizzy, could barely function. It has taken me about a month to feel better. I had to insist on meds, then went to another urgent care later in the day to ensure that the meds I insisted on were the correct ones. Here I was, sick, and was talked down to, told I was not sick, and treated like I was stupid. It is really scary. I felt sad to hear that you had to quit feeding the birds for a time. I remember going to a farm place and getting a big bag of mixed seed, but now I realize that was over ten years ago. Wow, time goes fast.

Cyn, I remember when I moved last, (oh, it was only about six months ago) you sent me information on things to do and the list was extremely helpful. You know what you are doing!!!! Thanks again. Decluttering is something lots of people really need to do. I looked at numerous houses recently and so many were filled with STUFF! It created an uncomfortable environment and turned us off from many houses. Plus, it seemed dirty in some way. I guess I have always like things simple, clean, not lots of furniture and the only collection, books. Now I have much fewer books and do not want to buy many anymore. I would rather get them from the library and on my kindle. I realized that so much of what I had, no one wanted. Your services are truly needed.

Lav, I hate bullies too. So many are afraid to stand up to them. Not you. I think someone made a comment, like, oh, that is helpful. I say, yes it was. The only thing for bullies to take over is for good people to do nothing. I don't care if others want to get drunk, just don't post on here and get abusive. If you do, get ready for responses. I find the most abusive people are often the most sensitive. Really annoying. I like our little thread, we are friends and can talk about being AF, life, challenges and get support and advice. Alcohol is soooo harmful, and while you are in it, it is living a lie. Hiding, sneaking, pretending you are fine when you feel sick and are just waiting till your next opportunity to drink again. To feel better, to feel normal. For a little while, then BAM, right back to the same old, same old. Having one drink is just not even an option. What would be the point! So, not drinking at all is the only way to go. I still look at it as an allergy...just like some have allergies to bread, dairy, etc. Change of subject. Wow, the healthcare is bad out there. I have to find someone in my new area, the only way to find someone good is work of mouth, and I don't have anyone. I am going to look at a women's center and see if they are any good.

Pap, have a good week. Thinking of you.

Happy Monday.

[treegirl]

Morning all -

I pulled back the curtain and took a look outside, and my little flock is tumbling and tossing and having a whee of a time with breakfast! I need to put out some black oil sunflower seeds (tho it means another feeder), as the chickadees are still not coming regularly. I did a lot of reading yesterday about how the birds get through cold cold weather - it is fascinating - they'll eat 4 or 5 times their body weight during the day, then lose all that fat overnight as they shiver the night away - their way of staying warm. Amazing. Now I really want to make some 'roost boxes' that protect them at night. Dill - I understand the expense of it all; I'm trying to constrain myself before I get too much out there that I have to continue to support! The vet bills here are bad enough!

Snowed overnight here, but seems OK now. I have a long drive to the airport to pick up HB this afternoon - 'up hill and down dale', so I'm hoping that the roads will be treated by then.

I was working on other projects yesterday, when Mr Tree called and alerted me to what was going on in Paris. How very very moving. I believe in pulling together for the light - let's hope it sends a message. At the very least, I believe that the energy sent out changes things. Gathering together and moving together toward the light has been what has made our little thread so powerful for me. Thanks everyone for being here on the journey.

Wishing all a good Monday ---

[treegirl]

PS Star - hope your commute went OK. And re: Docs, that's the really hard part of moving. Good luck - the internet can actually help, but read all the reviews with a block of salt. I also look carefully at their schooling and training. I'm going through the same thing now, finding specialists - most of the ones I want to see are hours away, but whatever. Better to find a good doc. At least I have a primary that I know I can count on. Hope you can find someone you like. In the meantime, taking good care of ourselves is better than medicine!

[Lavande]

Good morning friends!

Seriously crappy outdoors, rain, sleet, icy stuff, yuck
I don't absolutely have to go anywhere so I won't!

Before I forget - I want to share yet another website that was very helpful to me years ago:

https://www.womentowomen.com/

Women's health care needs are very different from that of men. We owe it to ourselves to find the best. I personally feel that women doctors & nurse practitioners are the best choice because women can understand our special needs. Women will listen & not automatically judge. That's just my .02!

Cyn, the birds around here can eat their way thru a $30 bag of seeds in a week, yikes!!!!
I'm going to try something new - mixing my own. I can buy 50 pound bags of scratch seeds for $8 from the local feed store. I use them for my chickens. They also sell large quantity bags of oiled sunflowers seeds, millet, etc. I'm just going to buy & do my own mixing & never run out of seeds again, Ha Ha!!!

Star, I always have my bully shields up, LOL!
Don't forget that I'm married to one, but his bullying is subtle & quiet. He looks like a golden child on the outside but I know better
I just don't tolerate bullies, never will!

Dill, I hope things are improving for you & your son. Are you still watching the kids? Sending you hugs & loads of strength :hug:

Papmom, I see you had a busy but good weekend, good for you!
Enjoy the last few days at your old job. Did you get this rain, sleet, ice mix? Be careful out there!

Have a great AF day one & all!

Lav

[dill]

Lav, you are right about how fast a bag of bird seed can go! I hope you can make a good, more affordable mix. I have not gone back to feeding the birds yet altho we do put out seed cakes. I just don't fill the feeder. My money is directed more towards my gchildren still. My son's pain levels are decreasing. I've given him all the advice you gave me and I think it helped him! Thanks ever so much. No, I don't have the children here at present. They both wanted so much to be with their Dad, and he felt he could manage.

Cyn, that was really an amazing event in Paris yesterday. I hope it is a sign that the world is turning back toward the light. I think your business will take off. You are so good at what you do. I know I've take your suggestions here in my home and they have really helped. I am hopeless at organizing and have to go to books to learn how. I am really impressed by people who have your talent.

Star, I was trying to help my son figure out how to find a good doctor in his area and I found a really helpful website. You enter your city and it shows a list of docs in your area. You can refine the doctor search in several ways, one of them being by what insurance they accept. Anyway, check it out. Maybe it will help you with your search: http://www.healthgrades.com/ I remember how horribly you were treated when you were sick recently. I hope you find a good doctor that you can trust. I told you my son was treated at first by a doctor at the ER who assumed he was just drug-seeking because he asked for help dealing with the pain. The doctor made a judgement and then treated my son with no respect. From what I understand, DVT is very painful and they should have worked with him and told him the things Lav told me about. Then the second experience the next day was the opposite. They didn't really help him medically and simply offered to write him a pain script...not even checking to see what he was currently taking! He said no to the pain meds, but it is a testament to his determination to stay clean. He could easily have walked out of there with pain meds. Geez!

Hey Papmom.

It's so gloomy here today. I'm glad I had an indoor project to keep me occupied. I am done with my afghan except for weaving the last few loose ends in. I will mail it tomorrow! Hurray!

[Lavande]

Dill, I'm glad to hear your son is getting some relief.
I swear every doctor on this planet needs a good dose of pain so they know the difference!!!!!
By the way - they make really crappy patients, Ha Ha!!
My nursing program was based on treating 'the entire patient', head to toe, inside & out :hug:
I don't know of a medical school in this country with the same philosophy.
Congrats on getting your afghan done!

I was called unexpectedly to watch the boys for 5 hours today. Dinner, bath, snacks, more snacks - they never stop eating, LOL. Now at almost 11 pm I'm still trying to wind down so I can get some sleep - geez