morning all,hows things today then?hopefully well..this mad computer playing up,but tomorrow its into pc world to get serviced and overhauled..its running so slow..not a lot happening here at the momento,busy doing bits an pices while the weather is pretty iffy,had quorn mince last night,first time ever....
ok lets get this show on the road....
mornin Lav...how are you today then?ok I hope.....still playing with the trains are we?:yay:here you go ..large brew...
hiya pauly ..hows Louie today then?any better? n how are you too?all good?my bougie plant has turned into a stick with wee green bits on it!!should come back this year..
hiya ppqp..how are you?you know you have power when you can steer the meetings as you want them!!get the captains hat on !!..yep want to get out ,but unfortunately, not that feasable at the mo....hopefully fingers,toes legs n eyes crossed the house will work out ok for you.
hiya pie how are you this fine day then?whats happening ..what are you mending/bending?you must be up to something!!like you I didnt use any meds to quit..just this site..its amazing the power of support you can get from it!!
hiya Narilly..well did it warm up there yesterday?-21 seems just a leetle cold!!
hiya SL....Hows you things any better/clearer for you?so thats what a culture day is!!trying to think what we used to call it ,but along the same lines..same sort of guff..one of the phrase that used to come out of it as far as I recall,was "to deal with colleagues and fellow members of the senior management board with a greater degree of openness, honesty and transparency " hmm that worked for about 10 minutes!! then there was the vision,the business plan,various action plans and all sorts of syndicate work to hold you spellbound to your chair!!! nowadays I worry more about whether my rabbit s ok!!
ok then thats it ...not too many folks here ,but big shout to those not here..best o luck on the job front sam.....
see you all
1. The Camels
Four tasmanian camels traveling on a very narrow ledge encounter four tasmanian camels coming the other way.
As everyone knows, tasmanian camels never go backwards, especially when on a precarious ledge. The camels will climb over each other, but only if there is a camel sized space on the other side.
The camels didn't see each other until there was only exactly one camel's width between the two groups.
How can all camels pass, allowing both groups to go on their way, without any camel reversing?
2. The Waiter
Three men in a cafe order a meal the total cost of which is $15. They each contribute $5. The waiter takes the money to the chef who recognizes the three as friends and asks the waiter to return $5 to the men.
The waiter is not only poor at mathematics but dishonest and instead of going to the trouble of splitting the $5 between the three he simply gives them $1 each and pockets the remaining $2 for himself.
Now, each of the men effectively paid $4, the total paid is therefore $12. Add the $2 in the waiters pocket and this comes to $14.....where has the other $1 gone from the original $15?
3. The Boxes
There are three boxes. One is labeled "APPLES" another is labeled "ORANGES". The last one is labeled "APPLES AND ORANGES". You know that each is labeled incorrectly. You may ask me to pick one fruit from one box which you choose.
How can you label the boxes correctly?
Just bought one of those new sports watches that works out how many calories you burn and how many steps you take through movement
I just managed to do 6,000 steps sitting at my computer
David Cameron has taken part in a Hindu ceremony in London.
The live footage got my hopes up, but the red dot on his forehead wasn't from a sniper after all.
The sequel to classic novel To Kill A Mockingbird is out soon.
To Cook A Mockingbird.
Relationships are like bathrooms.
I'm in them a lot longer than I need to be, probably cause I'm playing on my phone the whole time.
This little Italian boy and this little Jewish boy lived about
a block apart in the neighborhood and basically grew up together. The Jewish boy was the son of a jeweler and the Italian boy was the son of a hitman. Oddly enough, they had the same birthday. Well, for their 12th birthday, the little Jewish boy gets a Rolex watch and the little Italian boy gets a .22 Baretta.
The next day they are out on the street corner comparing their presents and neither is happy so they switch gifts with each other. The little Italian boy goes home to show his father and his father is NOT pleased!
"What're you, nuts? Lemme tell you something, you idiot!! Some day you're gonna meet a nice girl, you're gonna wanna settle down and get married. You'll have a few kids, all that stuff. THEN one day, you're gonna come home and find your wife in bed with another man. What the heck ya gonna do??? Look at your watch and say, 'Hey, how long you gonna be?'"
there was a woman, and her 4 sons were firemen she shouted up in the morning who wants an egg and they all shouted down at the same time "me ma me ma"
Mr. Steve Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went on a business trip to Louisiana.
He immediately sent an e-mail back home to his wife, Jennifer. Unfortunately, he mistyped a letter, and the e-mail ended up going to a Mrs.
Joan Johnson, the wife of a preacher who had just passed away. The preacher's wife took one look at the e-mail and promptly fainted.
When she was finally revived, she nervously pointed to the message, which read: "Arrived safely, but it sure is hot down here
A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: I am placed in the door and told when to jump My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go.
But how do you know when you are going to land? he was asked. I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground he answered.
But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground? he was again asked. He quickly answered Oh, the dog’s leash goes slack.
When I was a young minister, a funeral director asked me to hold a grave side service for a homeless man with no family or friends. The funeral was to be at a cemetery way out in the country. This was a new cemetery and this man was the first to be laid to rest there.
I was not familiar with the area and became lost. Being a typical man, of course, I did not ask for directions. I finally found the cemetery about an hour late. The back hoe was there and the crew was eating their lunch. The hearse was nowhere to be seen.
I apologized to the workers for being late. As I looked into the open grave, I saw the vault lid already in place. I told the workers I would not keep them long, but that this was the proper thing to do. The workers, still eating their lunch, gathered around the opening.
I was young and enthusiastic and poured out my heart and soul as I preached. The workers joined in with, "Praise the Lord," "Amen," and "Glory!" I got so into the service that I preached and preached and preached, from Genesis to The Revelation.
When the service was over, I said a prayer and walked to my car. As I opened the door, I heard one of the workers say, "I never saw anything like that before and I've been putting in septic systems for twenty years."
ok lets get this show on the road....
mornin Lav...how are you today then?ok I hope.....still playing with the trains are we?:yay:here you go ..large brew...
hiya pauly ..hows Louie today then?any better? n how are you too?all good?my bougie plant has turned into a stick with wee green bits on it!!should come back this year..
hiya ppqp..how are you?you know you have power when you can steer the meetings as you want them!!get the captains hat on !!..yep want to get out ,but unfortunately, not that feasable at the mo....hopefully fingers,toes legs n eyes crossed the house will work out ok for you.
hiya pie how are you this fine day then?whats happening ..what are you mending/bending?you must be up to something!!like you I didnt use any meds to quit..just this site..its amazing the power of support you can get from it!!
hiya Narilly..well did it warm up there yesterday?-21 seems just a leetle cold!!
hiya SL....Hows you things any better/clearer for you?so thats what a culture day is!!trying to think what we used to call it ,but along the same lines..same sort of guff..one of the phrase that used to come out of it as far as I recall,was "to deal with colleagues and fellow members of the senior management board with a greater degree of openness, honesty and transparency " hmm that worked for about 10 minutes!! then there was the vision,the business plan,various action plans and all sorts of syndicate work to hold you spellbound to your chair!!! nowadays I worry more about whether my rabbit s ok!!
ok then thats it ...not too many folks here ,but big shout to those not here..best o luck on the job front sam.....
see you all
1. The Camels
Four tasmanian camels traveling on a very narrow ledge encounter four tasmanian camels coming the other way.
As everyone knows, tasmanian camels never go backwards, especially when on a precarious ledge. The camels will climb over each other, but only if there is a camel sized space on the other side.
The camels didn't see each other until there was only exactly one camel's width between the two groups.
How can all camels pass, allowing both groups to go on their way, without any camel reversing?
2. The Waiter
Three men in a cafe order a meal the total cost of which is $15. They each contribute $5. The waiter takes the money to the chef who recognizes the three as friends and asks the waiter to return $5 to the men.
The waiter is not only poor at mathematics but dishonest and instead of going to the trouble of splitting the $5 between the three he simply gives them $1 each and pockets the remaining $2 for himself.
Now, each of the men effectively paid $4, the total paid is therefore $12. Add the $2 in the waiters pocket and this comes to $14.....where has the other $1 gone from the original $15?
3. The Boxes
There are three boxes. One is labeled "APPLES" another is labeled "ORANGES". The last one is labeled "APPLES AND ORANGES". You know that each is labeled incorrectly. You may ask me to pick one fruit from one box which you choose.
How can you label the boxes correctly?
Just bought one of those new sports watches that works out how many calories you burn and how many steps you take through movement
I just managed to do 6,000 steps sitting at my computer
David Cameron has taken part in a Hindu ceremony in London.
The live footage got my hopes up, but the red dot on his forehead wasn't from a sniper after all.
The sequel to classic novel To Kill A Mockingbird is out soon.
To Cook A Mockingbird.
Relationships are like bathrooms.
I'm in them a lot longer than I need to be, probably cause I'm playing on my phone the whole time.
This little Italian boy and this little Jewish boy lived about
a block apart in the neighborhood and basically grew up together. The Jewish boy was the son of a jeweler and the Italian boy was the son of a hitman. Oddly enough, they had the same birthday. Well, for their 12th birthday, the little Jewish boy gets a Rolex watch and the little Italian boy gets a .22 Baretta.
The next day they are out on the street corner comparing their presents and neither is happy so they switch gifts with each other. The little Italian boy goes home to show his father and his father is NOT pleased!
"What're you, nuts? Lemme tell you something, you idiot!! Some day you're gonna meet a nice girl, you're gonna wanna settle down and get married. You'll have a few kids, all that stuff. THEN one day, you're gonna come home and find your wife in bed with another man. What the heck ya gonna do??? Look at your watch and say, 'Hey, how long you gonna be?'"
there was a woman, and her 4 sons were firemen she shouted up in the morning who wants an egg and they all shouted down at the same time "me ma me ma"
Mr. Steve Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went on a business trip to Louisiana.
He immediately sent an e-mail back home to his wife, Jennifer. Unfortunately, he mistyped a letter, and the e-mail ended up going to a Mrs.
Joan Johnson, the wife of a preacher who had just passed away. The preacher's wife took one look at the e-mail and promptly fainted.
When she was finally revived, she nervously pointed to the message, which read: "Arrived safely, but it sure is hot down here
A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: I am placed in the door and told when to jump My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go.
But how do you know when you are going to land? he was asked. I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground he answered.
But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground? he was again asked. He quickly answered Oh, the dog’s leash goes slack.
When I was a young minister, a funeral director asked me to hold a grave side service for a homeless man with no family or friends. The funeral was to be at a cemetery way out in the country. This was a new cemetery and this man was the first to be laid to rest there.
I was not familiar with the area and became lost. Being a typical man, of course, I did not ask for directions. I finally found the cemetery about an hour late. The back hoe was there and the crew was eating their lunch. The hearse was nowhere to be seen.
I apologized to the workers for being late. As I looked into the open grave, I saw the vault lid already in place. I told the workers I would not keep them long, but that this was the proper thing to do. The workers, still eating their lunch, gathered around the opening.
I was young and enthusiastic and poured out my heart and soul as I preached. The workers joined in with, "Praise the Lord," "Amen," and "Glory!" I got so into the service that I preached and preached and preached, from Genesis to The Revelation.
When the service was over, I said a prayer and walked to my car. As I opened the door, I heard one of the workers say, "I never saw anything like that before and I've been putting in septic systems for twenty years."
that cold snap we had back in December froze it I think, I dunno if it'll come back, they say to prune off the bad parts but it's all bad,Lav,I think it's precious how much he's into trains, I can't wait till Louie is into something, right now he's all over the place, balls, cars,hubs' tools, I get on the floor to color with him but he rips the pages and bites the crayons, then gets mad when I say were done haha,tell Sam hi for me
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