oh well on we go with the show..brews all round
hiya det,how are you this fine day? glad things are getting sorted with the house...yep its amazing how much you collect over time...itll come in handy!!have a safe drive.
hiya bear how are you on day 24 ....good for you ..keep it up!!!
ppqp...busy busy ...remember time for you ..thats when it goes pearshaped ..loads a pressure and no outlet...how many hats today?
hiya SL.....how are you?full day by the sound of it yesterday..including the tax man ..aaargh..really makes my blood boil..series on telly at the moment about benefit and tax fraudsters..all the way from scrounging lazy arsed people that think its a right to get money for doing nothing all the way up to millionaires with tax evasion swiss accounts and offshore banking!! I digress .grrrrr..did you get all your running about done?and hope you are feeling better today
hiya pie...sitting at a picnic table eating lunch in the sun playing on tinternet..not a bad little earner, how are you today?
tt.....hiya ...yep watched Broadchurch last night...its really pretty good .here what happened last night .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. ............to be continued..Take it you are into crime series etc...trust me the dramas are nothing like the real thing....cant honestly think of more than a few that Ive met in the past that have got a reaction from me..one I can think of was a woman..most are just nobodies
hiya Narilly hows you today then?...ok I hope..yes Broadchurch is foreign to me too!! will put a puzzle up ..just for you..are you into maths ones?
hiya pauly...how are you today then?hows you feeling today then?just as well your cutting hair isnt reflected by the people you are working with...imagine the state folks heads would be in when you are workin with the negative twins!!
you have a good day today...
hiya Lav ..how are you then?plan work out ok..siblings delivered , no crabbiness,and the worlds a beautiful place!!!time for a brew...pulled most of the remaining parsnips up ..they had been hit by frost but were still lovely to eat....this year I am going to dig a channel in the raised bed and fill it full of sand..that way be able to grow better long rooted veg...
hiya Sam..how are you mate ..hope all is well..
right peeps for the offski....have a great day..
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
Cashew!
A man opens his door and finds a snail on his front porch.
He picks it up and throws it across the street.
A year later the man opens his door and finds the same snail on his front porch.
The snail looks up and says, "What the f.ck was that all about?"
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
What is a duck's favourite drug?
Quack!
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
Q: Why do blondes take the pill?
A: So they know what day of the week it is.
A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian...."
The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"
Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.
Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up
Q: What does a blonde do when her laptop computer freezes?
A: She sticks it in the microwave!
Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?
A: Data transfer.
Q: What's the mating call of the blonde?
A: "I'm sooooo drunk!"
Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde corn maze?
A: It only had 1 stalk.
Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?
A: Perri-air.
Q: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.
Q: What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of a pool?
A: Air Pockets
There is father and son in a car. As it happens on the roads from time to time the have a terrible accident. They are both seriously injured and ambulances carry them to two different hospitals.
The son is on a surgery table while the surgeon walks in and says: „I can't do the surgery on him he is my son!"
How is it possible?
(assume relations are blood - no stepfather involved)
Once upon a time there was a kingdom. A king and a clown lived in this kingdom. Unfortunately they hated each other so they agreed that they will poison each other one day.
There are only twelve vials of poison in whole kingdom and they are locked in one chamber in the castle.
The poisons have numbers from 1 to 12. The higher the number the stronger the poison. Effect on human body is simple – you drink the poison, you die. Each stronger poison neutralizes all weaker poisons which means that poison 12 neutralizes all poisons, number 11 all poisons but 12 etc. (If you drink 11 and than 12 nothing happens. If you drink 12 and than 11 you die.)
The king enters the chamber with poisons first and takes all the even poisons (2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12). Than the clown enters and takes the rest. They meet in the throne hall where each fills one cup and hands it over to the other who immediately drinks it. Now each fills the cup once again, now for himself, and drinks it (hoping to save his own life).
What did the clown do that he woke up the second morning and the king was dead?
Premises: Each of them (the king and the clown) PRIMARILY wants to survive. If he survives he wants to poison the other as surely as possible. There is one dose of each poison – it’s not possible to divide it. The poisons are fluids without color or smell and they have the same consistency as water.
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