may6..

[Mick]

mornin all...just time to jump in afore I go to the vets...hope all is well with everyone....be safe n sober....few jokes I sorted earlier....


A giraffe walks into a bar.

"Bloody hell," said the barman. "You're the first giraffe that's ever been in here."

"Not surprised," replied the giraffe. "That door frame's far too fcking low."

Following Ed Miliband's success at the pledges carved into a tablet of stone, he also plans to:

Environment - To combat flooding, Ed will build an Ark
Foreign Aid - Ed is to end world hunger with 2 fish and 5 loaves
Immigration - Ed will show the African migrants how to walk on water
Health - Ed will cure all sick people by laying his hands upon them
Transport - No need for the proposed tunnel or bridge to Northern Ireland, Ed will part the Irish Sea
Banking - Ed will cast out the money lenders
Defence - Ed will not risk any soldiers in combat, instead he will send a plague of locusts against our enemies
Law - Ed will leave any decision to Judgement Day
Duty on Alcohol - Ed will turn water in wine

man gets run over by a red lorry, then a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow lorry*

the policeman goes to the house to inform the family

"Im sorry.....there's no easy way to say this"...

I wasn't really looking forward to the snail casserole the wife made for dinner, but it was actually quite delicious. I just wish I'd had a bigger portion.*


"You did have." Said the wife, "Until you put fecking salt on it.

The police officers on the TV program Cops are totally awesome.

I mean, how hard must it be to find and arrest someone with a blurry face?

"It says that you paid 350 pounds for these," said the wife, looking at our new bathroom scales.*

"No, it doesn't," I replied, "You're standing on them."

Just got my tickets secured for next years world snooker final.

But I had to show them a doctors note stating I had chronic bronchitis before they would release them.

[Lavande]

Good morning Abbers, happy hump day to all

Thanks for the startup Mick. I hope everything went well at the vet today!
We had some rain here overnight but the sun is out now. I think I can finally get my veggie garden started after my trip to Curves. No more frosty nights are likely at this point, yay!

Greetings to Sam, Pie, PQ, pauly, NS, Det, bear, SF & everyone stopping in today!
SF, I have never been able to figure out my dosha. Like you I seem to have traits of all three. Maybe that's actually a good thing?

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Wednesday!

Lav

[porqoui]

Morning Mick....and MAE ALL...

Off to the vets? Did we know you were heading there today? Read back and didn't see anything. Will check in later to see what's up.

Pi...no the snow actually didn't hit here, lots of rain and thunder but we're clear and cold this morning. Just north of us though they're dealing with the white stuff. It was a provincial election to form the next Alberta government. The NDP (New Democratic Party) won a majority over the PC (Progressive Conservatives) that had been in power since 1971! Huge change here in my province this morning.

Det...glad you made it through the day unscathed! Hopefully you're out of your luxury suite and heading north.

Coffee is ready and pancakes on the go. Anyone want some? Early into work this morning and eye check up later. Will check back later......:smile:PPQP

Xpost Lav....wish I could say the same about our weather. LOL

[Mick]

just got back from vets...took 3 hrs to travel 35 miles!!!..if anyone ever comes to this country ..do not use the M60 RING ROAD TO CHESTER!!Sandy is hopefully getting her stitches out today and again hopefully infection is clearing up ..she is hospitalised today..got to pick her up tomorrow....hi ppqp ..yep weve got a general election tomorrow..tbh they are all pretty crap...no new ideas from any of them...same recycled blurb since Thatcher was in power..if Coco the clown rolled up with a mandate he would be a clear winner...Politics..is that a parrot with a watch?might as well be here!! hiya Lav ..my mate gave me some African lilies which Im hopefully growing on...want some ?
have a great day folks

[paulywogg]

Mae everybody, sounds like everyone is doing well been struggling with a yucky mood, not sure what is bringing it on sheesh, so tired of being pessimistic, trying to think positive and my mind starts flipping thoughts to negative, why does it seem like the further away from drinking, my mood does a nosedive? It's off and on, not constant, but it's annoying, maybe I'm in denial about having depression, they say usually you don't know but others can see it,grrrr, why me?hope everyone has a nice Wednesday

[paulywogg]

IGNORE the above post, I ate a protein bar and feel tons better, stupid blood sugar!guess those snicker commercials are true,you get a little weird when you're hungry haha

[Mick]

hey pauly ..hope you are ok now....just had a phone call from the vets..she has had stitches out and so far its looking good....doing very well ..she is up and about being a lively bunny...thats vet speak for a stompy grumpy pain in the ass!!well done her....where is ebberywun?

[bear73]

hello Mick, glad bunny is on the mend, yes my old girl cat when I called to check how she was after an op was described as 'lively'.I know what that means!Good sign though,pleased she's on the mend.

Just back from work and straight into PJs, feel headachy,overtired and a bit shivery and sniffly.Had strange dreams and OH snoring last night. Got an evening meeting tomorrow - on the plus side at least it's election day so it's all over.I always vote,as a woman I think it's especially important - but I have little faith.

Missed gym class tonight but really felt like right thing to do rather than a lazy sabotaging skipping the gym.I'm there sunday and saturday and maybe Friday after work.

Think may watch tv and have bath and early night - was going to a gig tonight but too tired.

[Pie]

I'm here! I'm here! Too late for pancakes and African Lillies? No doubt Sandy will be happy to get back to her hutch ASAP. We're known for awful traffic here in Houston, but think you win the seegar with your commute this morning, Mick.

Sounds like checking out was the best part of your lodging last night, Det. Hi SF, Lav, PQ, Pauly, Bear and all to come. Finished up my cleaning this morning, and condo is now sparkling. Need to give some attention to my own place, but I'm pooped. Pretty sure there'll be a nap in my near future.

Love the snail joke, Mick. I've never gone through salt so fast in my life as I have since starting the snail war in my garden.

[paulywogg]

Glad Sandy is up and about she's a fast healer! Pie,I think it's never too late for pancakes Bear,I think when you're feeling sick it's better to skip the gym,let your body rest, others say sweat it out but sometimes I don't think that works work was ho-hum but at least that's done and no kid watch either, love him but Nana P needs a break

[Pie]

Hey Pauly, Are you hangin in there despite the blue mood? :hug: Saw you mention PAWS on another thread. Think I'll bump up that thread you started not so long ago. No telling how many of us might be helped by the reminder.

[paulywogg]

Hanging in there Pie

[Determinator]

Ahoy hoy ABeroooos!

yay, finally got into a hotel early for once this week. and it's not littered with used needles and prophylactics

going to have an early dinner and crap out for long day tomorrow which will hopefully include my return home.

Pauly, glad you figured out the mood thingy. emergency snacks are important!

ok, hungry time here come to think of it, little Italian place across the street looks worth a peek.

be well loves

[paulywogg]

I love when you're like this Det!!enjoy your Italian food lucky I had dry chicken(

[porqoui]

Sounding good Det and here's hoping home is included in your trip.

Pauly...."guess those snicker commercials are true" yup and thanks for the PAWS reminder Pi...I think the timing is perfect. So glad to hear Sandy is doing good Mick.

Stressful day at work, might have to create the "#(%#)#" thread again!
Good news on the eye though, much improved! Still on hourly drops. I can feel the difference.
See you all in the morning.....:smile:PPQP