mae folks...another early one today...supposed to not be raining today..thats what the weather forecast says..skies dont say that to me!!got to go and vote...general election today...its a guess really ..all the parties and their policies...its a case of picking the one that lies the least,and aint gonna do too much dammage!!then off to help my friend load some pigs for market and then go and pick sandy up..tomorrow Im building a shed for someone..talk about variety ...so how are we all?ok lts see...
hi det ..hows you ?did you go for the Italian?..you sound a lot cheerier well done you...safe trip home today
hiya ppqp.....oops whats going on at work then?somethin gettin on your wick that youve got to re invent the sweary fred!!! glad the eye is getting better anyway....
hey nana p....hows you today then?smiley head on??gooooood..just for you ..your own speshul hairdresser jokes
A blonde is sick of being labled a 'dumb blonde' so goes to the hairdressers to buy a brunette wig.
"How much are they?" she asks.
"£30 plus the tax"' replies the hairdresser.
"Fck the tax," she replies, "I'll use glue.."
The other day I asked my hairdresser if I could have highlights,and he showed me a video of past haircuts.
Granny goes to the hairdresser and gets her hair cut really short. When she gets home, Little Johnny, her grandson, says:
"Granny, that's marvellous! You don't look like an old woman any more!"
"Thank you, Johnny," says Granny. "That was a lovely thing to say. What do I look like now?"
"Like a fecking old man."
A hairdresser asked me out today. I'd never go out with a hairdresser though - they always talk about you behind your back.
I've always wanted to be a hairdresser and one day when I was cutting a guys hair he turned round and asked,"What are you doing?". I replied,"What's the matter?" "Am I doing it wrong?"
He replied,"No,I'm waiting for the bus, fck off"
have a great day.....
hiya bear ...hows you feeling today then?hopefully better..hey just cos youve stopped drinkin...doesnt necessarily mean the world is all a beautiful place...what it does do tho..is enable you to make balanced unclouded judgements on a specific course of action to take in addressing particular issues.....ie take yours for example....day not going too well..things starting to build up...Tada solution time...easy ..."feck it ...cant be arsed ...wheres me jammies" :hahaha: have a great day...
hiya pie...hows you today then? condo all gleamy shiny then??time for white glove inspection then is it?top of door frame,corner of window sill ,corner of bedframe,under the sink basin behind the tap....Not too late for lillies ..got to split them yet........and just for you Don McClean (get it??)
A snail comes across a leprechaun in the forest. The leprechaun takes pity on the snail, slithering on its belly, and decides to grant it a wish. The snail can’t believe its luck. ‘I’d like a sports car,’ it says, ‘with a giant golden “S” painted on the doors and bonnet.’ The leprechaun waves his hand, and the car magically appears. The snail is beside itself with excitement and climbs in. It revs the engine up, puts the car into gear and speeds off through the forest. All the other animals gather to watch him career through the trees. ‘Look at that crazy “S” car go.’
How do snails keep their shells shiny? Snail varnish.
How do you know your kitchen floor is dirty? The slugs leave a trail on the floor that reads ‘clean me’!
What did the slug say as he slipped down the wall? How slime flies!
What did the slug say to the other slug who had hit him and run off? I’ll get you next slime!
The Council road sweeper did our street last Tuesday. As I came back from town I caught him stamping on a snail.
"Whatever did that poor defenseless creature do to harm you?" I asked.
"You what?" He said, "that bugger's been following me about all day."
What did the snail say while riding on the turtle’s back? Weeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!
What do you do when two snails have a fight? Leave them to slug it out!
What sort of animal is a slug? A snail with a housing problem!
What was the snail doing on the motorway? About one mile a day!
Where do you find monster snails? On the end of its fingers.
A snail is returning home late at night and has to cut though a dark alley. As he is passing though, he is mugged by two slugs.
Later on at the police station, the officer asks him, "Can you give me a description of the assailants?"
The snail ponders this for a moment and then replies, "Gee, I'm not sure... it all happened so fast."
hiya Lav ...how are you today?big brew for you....hope all is well your end ...
hey sam...how are you mate ..hopefullly working away....
right folks offski I go..
have a good one..
lets start the day in the right direction.
off to vote in the general election
then after that I ll be dancin jigs,
as I load the trailer full of pigs,
then keepin busy ..thats my habit
as off I go to get me wabbit
and after this ,if I aint dead ,
its up tomorrow to build a shed
:thumbsup:
hi det ..hows you ?did you go for the Italian?..you sound a lot cheerier well done you...safe trip home today
hiya ppqp.....oops whats going on at work then?somethin gettin on your wick that youve got to re invent the sweary fred!!! glad the eye is getting better anyway....
hey nana p....hows you today then?smiley head on??gooooood..just for you ..your own speshul hairdresser jokes
A blonde is sick of being labled a 'dumb blonde' so goes to the hairdressers to buy a brunette wig.
"How much are they?" she asks.
"£30 plus the tax"' replies the hairdresser.
"Fck the tax," she replies, "I'll use glue.."
The other day I asked my hairdresser if I could have highlights,and he showed me a video of past haircuts.
Granny goes to the hairdresser and gets her hair cut really short. When she gets home, Little Johnny, her grandson, says:
"Granny, that's marvellous! You don't look like an old woman any more!"
"Thank you, Johnny," says Granny. "That was a lovely thing to say. What do I look like now?"
"Like a fecking old man."
A hairdresser asked me out today. I'd never go out with a hairdresser though - they always talk about you behind your back.
I've always wanted to be a hairdresser and one day when I was cutting a guys hair he turned round and asked,"What are you doing?". I replied,"What's the matter?" "Am I doing it wrong?"
He replied,"No,I'm waiting for the bus, fck off"
have a great day.....
hiya bear ...hows you feeling today then?hopefully better..hey just cos youve stopped drinkin...doesnt necessarily mean the world is all a beautiful place...what it does do tho..is enable you to make balanced unclouded judgements on a specific course of action to take in addressing particular issues.....ie take yours for example....day not going too well..things starting to build up...Tada solution time...easy ..."feck it ...cant be arsed ...wheres me jammies" :hahaha: have a great day...
hiya pie...hows you today then? condo all gleamy shiny then??time for white glove inspection then is it?top of door frame,corner of window sill ,corner of bedframe,under the sink basin behind the tap....Not too late for lillies ..got to split them yet........and just for you Don McClean (get it??)
A snail comes across a leprechaun in the forest. The leprechaun takes pity on the snail, slithering on its belly, and decides to grant it a wish. The snail can’t believe its luck. ‘I’d like a sports car,’ it says, ‘with a giant golden “S” painted on the doors and bonnet.’ The leprechaun waves his hand, and the car magically appears. The snail is beside itself with excitement and climbs in. It revs the engine up, puts the car into gear and speeds off through the forest. All the other animals gather to watch him career through the trees. ‘Look at that crazy “S” car go.’
How do snails keep their shells shiny? Snail varnish.
How do you know your kitchen floor is dirty? The slugs leave a trail on the floor that reads ‘clean me’!
What did the slug say as he slipped down the wall? How slime flies!
What did the slug say to the other slug who had hit him and run off? I’ll get you next slime!
The Council road sweeper did our street last Tuesday. As I came back from town I caught him stamping on a snail.
"Whatever did that poor defenseless creature do to harm you?" I asked.
"You what?" He said, "that bugger's been following me about all day."
What did the snail say while riding on the turtle’s back? Weeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!
What do you do when two snails have a fight? Leave them to slug it out!
What sort of animal is a slug? A snail with a housing problem!
What was the snail doing on the motorway? About one mile a day!
Where do you find monster snails? On the end of its fingers.
A snail is returning home late at night and has to cut though a dark alley. As he is passing though, he is mugged by two slugs.
Later on at the police station, the officer asks him, "Can you give me a description of the assailants?"
The snail ponders this for a moment and then replies, "Gee, I'm not sure... it all happened so fast."
hiya Lav ...how are you today?big brew for you....hope all is well your end ...
hey sam...how are you mate ..hopefullly working away....
right folks offski I go..
have a good one..
lets start the day in the right direction.
off to vote in the general election
then after that I ll be dancin jigs,
as I load the trailer full of pigs,
then keepin busy ..thats my habit
as off I go to get me wabbit
and after this ,if I aint dead ,
its up tomorrow to build a shed
:thumbsup:
Sam,that traffic sounds like fricken L.A!!what a mess,luckily Vegas traffic isn't too bad,depending on where your at, it only takes me 15-20 minutes to get to work so that's good, hubs bought me a new bouganvillia for mothers day, we thought the other one was coming back but nope
watermelon plants shriveled up and died as soon as I put them in the ground, grr,hope everyone has a nice Thursday, I'll be back later
Comment