friday 29 May AF daily

[bear73]

morning everyone,woke at 5am today with snoring/cat miaoqing so got up anyway - coffee and done bit more decluttering.More on agenda today,feeling really enthusiastic about it.Cleaners coming at 9.30am today then I'm off to recycle/tip rest of stuff. Kitchen,and books and toiletries on agenda for today.Gym later today and then possibly out with friends.

Bit of a break tomorrow apart from shredding paperwork.I'm off Monday and plan to list a few bits on e-bay.
Decluttering feels very therapeutic.

I'm really struggling with BS voice of 'go on, have a couple' ,I do feel slightly more anxious then before I lapsed in USA, I keep reminding myself how great I felt before,if I didn't have a problem I wouldn't even be thinking about it.
Please any advice/reminders re how to get back on track. I'm scared of having 'a few' drinks tonight with a friend tonight,and have that rubbish fear of missing out thing going on,want to be 'normal' around drink.Trying to focus on just today for now and hoping that will help.

I also smoked a cigarette yesterday - clinging to my e cig for now and allowing myself chocolate if I want it,as well as maxing fruit and veg.

Feel so fed up of this seesaw,I am doubting myself, how do I really 'know' I have a problem,am I making a bigger deal of my drinking than I need to and just over did it a bit?I know deep down this is dangerous thinking - but it feels very convincing.Keep thinking what would I advise someone else - really I'd be saying you were fine until you re introduced it,and now you're thinking of when you can next have a drink and then worrying you will over do it so not really enjoying it anyway!I think I maybe just need to ignore the thoughts rather than try to engage/wrestle with them.

thanks for listening - mixed day today - half positive - half grrrrrr!
Have a great Friday everyone.

[Mick]

mornin all...how are we today then?all good hopefully....yesterday was at the rabbit dating agency...aka rescue...up till now..Dannyboy as he is going to be named on arrival!has been showing off ...doing his bestest tricks flicks etc ...to a rending chorus from Sandy of .."yeah whatever big man!!"..but yesterday she cleaned and groomed him for the first time..absolutely brill..took a vid of it ,but here are a couple of stills from it..so fingers crossed the job is on...got quite a bit to do in the garden ....like new fencing..he is a lot more lively than those 2 were..off up there again today

ok on we go with the show..brew time...

hiya bear...yep I use e bay all the time ..got some stuff on it now.....dont like this bit about them and paypal splitting reckon that will mean extra charges...I also use preloved and gumtree..ok ..now the bad bit...I apologise now if this offends you in any way..but you asked for help...I can only tell it as I see it ..rightly or wrongly..

I'm really struggling with BS voice of 'go on, have a couple' ,I do feel slightly more anxious then before I lapsed in USA, I keep reminding myself how great I felt before,if I didn't have a problem I wouldn't even be thinking about it.

you recognise that it is bs...you felt great before,you recognise you have a problem

I'm scared of having 'a few' drinks tonight with a friend tonight,and have that rubbish fear of missing out thing going on,want to be 'normal' around drink.Trying to focus on just today for now and hoping that will help.

why be scared.....thats a you thing.... as for normal...really?I think you will find that normal now is that most people who dont drink nowadays do have some sort of a problem with drink



Feel so fed up of this seesaw,I am doubting myself, how do I really 'know' I have a problem,am I making a bigger deal of my drinking than I need to and just over did it a bit?I know deep down this is dangerous thinking - but it feels very convincing.

typical self denial and mitigation..in your first phrase you said that you did have a problem...so how does that then change in less than 200 words??

just my suggestion here...please rip it to bits if you want but....

determine the following......

do I honestly think that I have a problem?

if so is it affecting my health/wealth/quality of life/lifestyle/mental well being?

if I stop drinking what do I expect out of it

if I do decide to quit ..am I prepared to put up with the pain for the gain?

Can I focus and be committed to doing this

Am I willing to enlist and share with others for support?

sit down think them through and answer them to yourself honestly..you talk about a seesaw and being sick of it...that takes 2 parties otherwise it would be a see or saw
every single person who has quit has been through that exact pain ..going out not drinking ,scared ,worried,apprehension...but every single one has committed to it..even thru the bs voices and the go on scenario...you are not unique or alone in that...we are all here to help..but ultimately the choice is your and yours alone..so have a good long think about it all ...maybe someone can sort of flower it up for me...not too good at beating around bushes!!

hiya Lav...hows you today then?all good in the smoke free zone?isnt it weird how we get cravings like that even after all this time?even now after think its about 12/1 years I still now and again get the craving for a smoke..more so than booze..as for the 75 dollar bill....da da!!!!have a brew..

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hey pauly...now thats positive for ya..Ill defo have an af day...you go for it!!good on you girl...so hows you today then?getting into your groove??Friday ..early finish day just imagine...someone in the chair half way thru.......come back Monday and Ill finish your hair!!

Hiya det...electronic vaporizer?does it do people??few candidates I could line up for that one...sound good my friend keep it up...

hey pie ..hows you?did you say whos chief in this house?thatd be me...he said lyingly!!we both cook here..so your fixing storm damage ?give us a shout if you need a hand

hiya ppqp....hows you today then?well did you get the snow?hopefully not..got to put tomatoes today into their final big pots ,do some meshing in the fencing,but unfortunately tis hammering down..me hair would get messed!!your couple of weeks in June ..you going anywhere,?

hey Sam the man ..well done on passing the driving test bit..whats left to do now?

right folks for the off..have a good one..

Welcome to social anxiety class.

Have a seat and make yourself uncomfortable.

The World cup may have to be voted on again for the host nations of the 2018 and the 2022 competing.

Let's hope England's bribe can compete this time.

America has stated that they intent to start their own World Cup after the corruption with FIFA. The new Soccer World Series will be played between America and Canada until further notice.

My mother and father were a bit different to most parents.

I remember the day they sat me down and asked me "When are you going to run away from home?".

Once Queen Elizabeth had to share her horse-drawn carriage with Idi Amin, (the former dictator of Uganda).

One of the horses farted very loudly.

Queen said, " So sorry about that, you must excuse us."

Idi Amin, grinning like mad said, " That's all right, Your Majesty, these things happen. I thought it was the horse. "

Following the arrest of seven FIFA officials on corruption charges, it has emerged that the bidding process for the 2022 World Cup will be re-opened. Officials have stated that they will be looking for a new venue that is free from the glare of negative publicity with a minimal chance of corrupt practices and, as an added bonus, will not have as many problems with human rights abuses as Qatar.

In other words, the 2022 World Cup is going to be held in Guantanemo Bay.

Competition time: Who is the Most Disappointing Human Being On The Planet? Answers, on a postcard please, to "David Cameron competition"..

[Mick]

yesterdays snuggly pics......


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[Guitarista]

Too cute Mick!

Have a great weekend everyone. G

[porqoui]

MAE ALL....

Bear...thanks for kicking us off this morning. Sorry you're struggling right now, I do know exactly how you're feeling. :hug: For me I would remember the day I found MWO because of the shape I was in to actually google for help. It truly was a life saver for me. Posting your thoughts is one of the best things you can do for yourself right now.



Mick...glad you've decided on the name Dannyboy. Somehow it just feels right. Looks like things will work out for the 2 of them. Great pics. No snow. I think it was a combination of clouds and smoke blowing in from the forest fires. The day just had an eerie feeling to it. Post holes being dug today for the seating area if I can trust the volunteers to actually get it done. I find it hard to delegate as I'm a somewhat perfectionist. LOL No plans for my time off, it's more a matter of use it or loose it.

Gman....good to see you popping in.

Big shout out to all to come. Time to get myself sorted for work. Have a Fabulous AF Friday all......:smile:PPQP

[Lavande]

Good morning Abbers, happy Friday to all

bear, IMHO you are making things very hard for yourself. We really need to learn to treat ourselves as we would treat others. Yes, AL is a common problem for all of us, no secret there. We just cannot negotiate or find any middle ground with the bastard. The only sane thing to do is give up, surrender, fly the white flag, whatever phrase you choose. Trust yourself & adopt a zero tolerance policy toward drinking. Drinking is a choice, a bad one for us! Life goes on after we quit & it's actually much better, smoother & with far fewer mood swings

Mick, thanks for finding my 75 dollar bill - I'm not completely insane, ha ha!!!!
That was about the dumbest dream I've ever had, incredible. I think about smoking from time to time but have no cravings. The thoughts are more in the line of 'I'm glad I don't do that anymore'.
The bunnies look adorable together, I wish them much happiness!

PQ, you have volunteers digging post holes? Please send them down here when you're done with them. I really could use some fencing to keep my younger dog from terrorizing neighbors, ha ha!
Love your graphic - it's not easy BUT it's worth it for sure!

Hi G!

SF, I doubt there is a 'perfect time' in anyone's life to quit. The perfect time for all of us to quit is now! Not letting AL take another second of our lives is perfect. Turns out AL is not all that effective as a crutch, certainly does not hold us up very well. Finding balance in our lives is what we need. Just the right amount of work & work related stress, exercise & fresh air, time out in nature, time with loving family & friends is what we need. It's not an easy task but it can be done :hug:

I'm off to Curves now because I need to keep my balance going. I'll check in later when I'm back & have my machines humming. Have a terrific AF day everyone!

Lav

[paulywogg]

Mae everybody, Mick,Sandy looks like she's really taking to him yay!I like how you summed it up for Bear,in all my many relapses I always have those same thoughts, it usually takes a week or two to get steam rolling again, as far as wanting to be normal, I get it but as far as drinkin goes,I'm not,why f-up sleep, mood,anxiety levels,calories for the day,budget,etc?my anxiety was at a low at nearly 2 months AF,then I drank and it shot back up,still is up from where it was, Michelle ended up back home last night, much drama with her boyfriend and such,talked with her this morning for a bit and its like talking to a fricken brick wall!she's got an excuse for everything and anything, whatevs, I'm stayingout of it,alrighty then I hope everyone has a lovely Friday, much love to all

[Pie]

Morning all,

SF, sure hope there's some pool time in your near future.

Bear, thanks for the start up. Sounds like your peace of mind has taken a hit since re-introducing AL?

Such precious pics of the wabbits, Mick! Love the social anxiety joke.

PQ, hope those post holes get dug perfectly! There's always that chance...

Hi G!

Lav, I'm not sure how you know that's your $75. It looks a lot like the one I lost.

Pauly seems like anxiety is a common denominator after relapsing. Even though you get back on the AF bus, there's a lot of it to wade through.

I have appointment with regular doctor today, first one since giving up the drink. Kinda looking forward to it.

[NoSugar]

Feel so fed up of this seesaw,I am doubting myself, how do I really 'know' I have a problem,am I making a bigger deal of my drinking than I need to and just over did it a bit?I know deep down this is dangerous thinking - but it feels very convincing.l

Hey, Bear, I think you know you have a problem by virtue of the fact that you ever sought out this site and are still here. People who successfully drink "moderately" don't even know it because the thought of defining how they drink hasn't even crossed their minds! They don't have any of the compulsions, cravings, or emotions tied up with whether they do or do not drink on a particular day that most of us here have experienced. Occasionally my husband will root around in the refrigerator looking for a beer and when he doesn't find one, he doesn't suddenly invite me to go out to dinner so he can order some or think up a random errand that he needs to run right now.... All he does is write "beer" on the shopping list. I really hope you, Pauly, and SF and anyone else who is stuggling can give yourselves the time you need. I wasted so much time thinking about how if I quit now, think about how much better I will feel at -- Christmas, my next birthday, when summer begins, etc. etc. etc. Well, the same amount of time passes whether we're drinking or not. I so much wish that I had been able to let one of those earlier time spans be "the one". I believe that once you've realized there's a problem - at any level - there is no way to ever again 'enjoy' drinking without nagging worries and guilt. So we might as well quit.

I like your sign, PPQP. The thing is, though, that although actually committing to quitting was hard and the first few weeks and months certainly weren't a snap, the whole process was so much easier than I had convinced myself it would be (i.e. pretty much impossible!). And the rewards have been greater than I'd dared hope. Learning to practice Lav's Attitude of Gratitude has made such a difference in my life - not only in terms of being grateful to no longer be addicted and all that means, but in everything. Thanks for all that encouragement, Lav.

Mick, your photos are making me really wish I could Hug a Bunny - they are so darn cute.

Pie - good luck at your appointment. I used to be so relieved that the doctor rarely if ever asked me about alcohol consumption. Now I see what a weakness in our medical system that really is. They need to ask - even if people lie, it forces them to admit at least to themselves that their intake might be a problem.

Have a great Friday and weekend, Abbers! NS

[Determinator]

Alooooha Friday ABeroooos!

Bear, I can't really add anything to the wonderful replies here today. The next time a strong craving comes by, just reread today's thread. We can do this!

Very grateful to be home this weekend and feeling good with my AF'ness. Going to take my dear wife to a very romantic movie tonight..... Mad Max Fury Road! ahahahahahhaaaaa. yes, I'm quite the romantic eh?

Saw the movie 'Wild' recently with Reese Witherspoon. Quite an inspirational movie.

be well everyone

[Samstone]

evening all
long week, glad for the weekend, Monday is the last day of commuting. Met some good folks. Just wanted to drop in and wish everyone well
Sam I am, Tomorrow I go to get 3 hams

[NoSugar]

Your pigs arrive tomorrow, Sam? How long will you raise them?

[Pie]

Sounds like the makings of a limerick there, Sam. Maybe our Mick will create one if he's feeling poetic.

[Lavande]

New piggies & new chicks Sam - Wow!!!
I hope everyone settles in well & I hope you get to relax this weekend

NS, I certainly didn't invent the gratitude thing, just merely passed it in to as many folks as I could! IT WORKS!!!!
Am I right or what?

Det, stay well & enjoy the movie.

Pie, hope the doc visit went well - I imagine it did!!

I sent Mick & Sam both a link on Facebook today about a nearby farm that's for sale. It's pretty darn expensive so I thought maybe they would be interested in being co-owners, ha ha! Mick could grow lots of veggies & Sam could grow lots of piggies, cows & chickens. I would visit often because it's only three minutes away from my house, LOL!!!!

[NoSugar]

You ARE right, Lav. I'm glad you were talking about it a lot a couple years ago - it was one of the main keys for me.