tuesday 11 August

[bear73]

I've done some deep breathing this am, and am up early with time to chill before work.
Still feel jittery - I plan to call the work counselling line first thing and sit and have a chat.

I have neglected my aromatherapy at night and deep breathing time in the morning,I think smoking is another stimulant/source of anxiety and I haven't been to the gym since Thursday.

I don't mean this in my usual 'beat myself up' way - more this is how I need to look after myself now.

Trying to 'get' the mindfulness thinking of feeling/watching emotions as they come rather than wrestling with them. I think I definitely react with fear and panic to 'bad' feelings and worry they will stick if I feel them.Resisting them/trying to work them out has been my pattern and will probably take a long time to break.I used to do that as a teenager for hours,and then live in my head in another made up life - and I'm starting to do that again,rather than being 'here'.
It's a form of escape,like extreme daydreaming to 'escape' and not be present - which is also what I used alcohol for,having ' naps' and attempting to think my way out of feeling bad.

I think this is some kind of painful progress being made here.
Think I may need to remember to put on my hypnotherapy 'shield' today as that has been missing recently!

I just wanted to add about my friend,she is a very dear friend who truly wants the best for me - she just doesn't 'get it' as it's totally different to her experience,how she has 'seen' my drinking from the outside - to be fair she hadn't seen me at the point of my heaviest drinking.
Have a fab day everyone,

[Mick]

eeek!!!!!beaten by the bear lady.....not as in bare bear but bear bear .....now that Ive fraggled your brains for a starter!!!howareyizall?nother day ..nother dollar
nice and sunny here today....another project cpmpleted ....this was an old drainpipe hopper..I took it back to its original metalwork and then repainted and varnished it..so now it will have a bung in the bottom of it and makes a nice flower holder for the wall..pretty heavy its cast iron...

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next project is a herb garden for madam....got a load of old used stone and cleaning them up ..but this will be the general size and shape..

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and then ...who knows.....ok brew time whos up for a brew?

hiya bear ....chill it ...you are doing great..get all these wee things that are bugging you and deal with them one at a time...how do you eat an elephant?...in small pieces...we all get overwhelmed at times....jeez my brain never stops and half of its missing !!!so take it nice and relaxed ...back to status quo...noooooooooo...not the group...the state of mind!!as for your friend ..yes youre right ..I asnt being offensive..but people who dont have a problem dont see what the issue is...you take it easee and have a great day...

yabba dabba dooooooooo...Wilmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! hey theres Sam..howdy doody friend hows you today then?all good hopefully.yes we had shedfuls of rain yesterday...and this morning its loverly...

hiya pie..hows you today then ?hope visit went well ...primer bought too?

I saw this ad yesterday and just had to find it.......its you

https://youtu.be/dHSFEjBulms

hiya lav..hows you then?rain will be good for the garden then..maybe not for the toeless wonders but certainly for le jardin....I think you are right ..as we get older the opportunities get easier to turn into grumpy old men/women...you have to pick and choose what you get arsy about !!!!!!!!!

here you go ..a brew and a ..........


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PAULY.........................!!!!!!!!!WELL DONE YOU ON NO DRINKING!!!!!!thats ace..Im so chuffed for you......but you know theres a flip side too now?we know you have got the balls to kick into touch..you need to tell us all about it :hug:

Hiya ppqp...hows you today then?all good?now then...as far as not digging goes on Sunday....now I never mentioned I didnt...but there again I never mentioned I did ..mebbes you are away down the wrong route with that....or mebbe not as the case may be..has your car been sorted yet?

Hi NS and Det ..yoo ok?

right here we go ..some more extremely censored and politically correct jokez..have a great day all.....

The government have announced that lion hunting will be legal after all. Provided the fight is fair and neither party uses a gun.

Just heard about the murders in a IKEA store!

I'm not sure if the Police know who did it as yet but I'm willing to bet that the guy had a screw loose.

My friend was always telling me how he'd end up working in a supermarket. 10 years later he achieved his goal.

Now surely that was a shelf fulfilling prophesy!

I walked into an estate agents.

I said to the guy, "I think I need to relocate."

He said, "I think you're right, this is the hairdressers."

And God told Women "There willl be honest and loyal Husbands in every corner of the World"

Then God made the world round and peed himself laughing

Women, I wish to thank you for placing those "Child On Board" stickers in the back of your cars, as they obviously make me realise that I value the life of your child far greater than I do of my own life. Before you started doing this, I simply slowed my own vehicle down by ramming it into the car in front of me. I shall now use my brakes and refrain from having a large rear-end collision with you in the future.

I saw footage from Indonesia today of a previously undiscovered tribe whom experts believe have not evolved since the early Stone Age.

I couldn't help but wonder where two of them had got their Man Utd shirts from.

Guess who I bumped into today at the opticians?

Everyone!

An old guy slips and falls outside the White House just as Obama is coming out to get in his car.

Obama helps the old guy to his feet.

"Thanks," he says.

"If you really want to thank me,"says Obama, "just vote for me and my party in the next election."

"Listen, buddy," says the old guy. "I landed on my arse not my fcking head."

The countryside is brilliant...

...unless you want to buy anything, go anywhere, do anything, or see anyone.

A man came to my door today and asked if I was aware that by joining BT broadband for my TV, Internet and telephone I could save as much as £120 a year.

I said no and asked him if he was aware that the Roman legions used to integrate pigs within their armies by covering them in pitch, setting them on fire and herding them towards the enemy causing mass disarray and panic among the opposing troops.

He looked confused and said "No..."

So I said "Well, tonight we've both learned something" and slammed the door in his face.

[Lavande]

Good Tuesday morning Abbers!

Dark & damp here, flood watches up & all that but I am going out to visit my girls for a few hours. I really need some girl time to get myself balanced after the boy's visit

bear, I definitely agree that nicotine can boost your anxiety level. Scrap the smokes permanently, you don't need them. Now that you have gathered so many useful tools - use them to help yourself. Don't let your tendency to default to anxious ways take over. I hereby gift you with a big dose of Lavan-ittude. Use it to keep yourself safe & on your plan.
Friends without drinking issues simply cannot understand the depth of our problems. Don't worry about the friends, focus on yourself, OK?

Mick, I'll take one of those planters - pretty cool
I love my herb garden & like trying out different plants from time to time. It's fun to go out & grab a handful of lemon balm or chocolate mint to make some interesting tea!! Enjoy your nice weather!

Greetings to Sam, Pauly, PQ, Pie, NS, Det & everyone dropping in today.
Have a fabulous AF Tuesday!

Lav

[paulywogg]

Mae everybody, Mick,looks like a nice project wanted to say a special thanks to you for your words to me in your late post on Fridays threadt,no I didn't need luck just like you said Bear,smoking is a huge anxiety trigger! I realized that while going through al withdrawal many times,one cig would make me shake like a leaf,I'm ready to 86 them anyways,told hubs if we both quit and put our cig money away,we'd have a nice stash,my trip was pretty good, not as relaxing as I'd hoped,3 toddlers and 2 babies in my dads house was too much!but I did love seeing them and meeting my new niece and nephew, my mom was already drunk when we showed up Friday evening, then proceeded to be antsy and edgy the next day,surprisingly she didn't drink at the lake when we went,but maybe cuz my brother who hardly drinks was there, I was glad he came out though, I always thought he avoided us cuz he was a stuck up snob,turns out he hated being around a bunch of drunks,imagine that,other than that we fed some horses,Louie went to the train museum and was gonna ride a train but they only go once on Sunday and they missed it but they got to get on board when it parked, Louie kinda got scared so maybe its best they missed the ride,some talk in the nest the other day about how Vegas sux,I say I've never been happier to be back,don't dis the 702 haha!!just seen too many cousins,aunts,schoolmates etc up there,small home towns can be exhausting, hello to all,will be back later BTW Mick,the clip was too cute

[Samstone]

morning all
Bear, thanks for the start up this morning. Sounds like you are very aware of the escapism. A positive of your post I find is that it did not sound like booze was NOT in the conversation. Take it as it comes.

Mick, been having a hankering for a brontasaurous burger and chips. Know where I can get one. Nice job on the flower holder!

Had a surprise yesterday: TWINS! not desirable but got to take what you're given


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Sam

P.S. X post Lav and Pauly. It takes me forever to make a post even though I don't say anything!

greetings to all good friends

[paulywogg]

So cute Sam!! Amazing how big they are already

[Pie]

Mick, I admire the way you re-purpose materials that come your way. Adorable ad, thanks for posting link. Giving some thought to your idea that arsiness opportunities can increase with age. Hmm...

Thanks for starting us off, Bear.

Sam, why are twin calves not desirable?

Welcome back, Pauly. Keeping your head screwed on during family visit is ace. Well done to you!

No, I did not buy the primer, and I may not buy it again today. Unless I do. Off to do a read around on the threads. May pop back later.

[Mick]

Pauly....there is no need to thank me tho it is appreciated....you did the work ....you did the weekend without drink..you did the replies to the little voices in the head,you didnt drink tho others were ,you had the balls to do it..and for that I respect you a lot..that was probably harder to do than any of the other scenarios you have been thru ..so remember it...as for the smokes ..if you both give up....make sure you do something with the dosh you save that and the booze money..planter now finished and up.....

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[Samstone]

Pie
often the cow only accepts one; there may not be enough milk for both, may end up with smaller calves, may have to bottle feed one, serious p.i.a. ; may have trouble birthing.

[Pie]

Pie
often the cow only accepts one; there may not be enough milk for both, may end up with smaller calves, may have to bottle feed one, serious p.i.a. ; may have trouble birthing.

Thanks, Sam. I had no idea.

[paulywogg]

I feel like the minion above my batteries are drained, luckily Louie is busy watching curious George, but he's in a hyper mood,cleaned out his toy closet but he only allowed about 4 toys into the donation bag,gotta do it when he's not here I guess,Mick,the planter looks lovely Sam,how long do you have to bottle feed the calf? Trying to quit smoking is a drag,but its getting sort of like my drinking was getting, an escalation that I don't want,even my mom commented on my smoking a lot and hubs asks why I don't cough like he does as I smoke more than him,plus I don't want to look like a weathered old piece of leather in another few years,you know that "smoker" look,grrr

[porqoui]

MAE ALL...

Bear...thanks for kicking us off. I can't scroll back to read your post but agree with what Sam said about being aware of escapism.

Mick....that's a very decisive answer there. No further ahead yet no further behind on solving the Sunday mystery. LOL Great flower pot, you don't mess about do you. All ready hung and planted. Cute ad. Busy day today and garden meeting tonight. Car goes in on Friday for a quick software upgrade.

Lav...didn't know that nicotine could boost anxiety. No wonder I drank. Hope you enjoyed your girl time.

Pauly...good luck with 86ing the cigs. I'm not there yet. Now I know where this leather skin came from. LOL

Sam...how are the twins doing. Is Mom accepting both of them? Great pic.

Pi...I see Mick is rubbing off on you. LOL

Off to assemble some tacos then out to the meeting. Have a peaceful evening all.....:smile:PPQP

[paulywogg]

We had tacos too PPQP,great minds think alike

[Pie]

Ha! PQ, you made me laugh out loud with your comment on my waffling. His cluez are very much that way, aren't they?

Good for you Pauly on the cigs. Like PQ, I just can't go there yet, so leather it is. Lav, that makes you our role model for kicking both to the curb.

Det, we're keeping your seat warm for ya!

[Lavande]

Had a nice visit with my girls but it was too short. On the way home I received a request from my DIL to watch the boys for the day tomorrow. So I guess it's going to be a stinker day, ha ha!!!

Sam, precious pic
I once had a golden retriever who gave birth to 12 puppies. So we had to jump in & do some bottle feeding, it was a PIA but nice to see all 12 survive.

Mick, I meant to mention this morning that I lost my damns a long, long time ago. It turned out to be a good thing too

Pie, I nearly scared myself to death smoking like a chimney after I quit drinking. Don't know what I was doing but the smokes had to go, right there & then. Glad to be rid of all that crap. I painted my powder room 5 years ago & I think it the kids have almost destroyed the paint. I just may start thinking about repainting it but maybe I won't, Lol

PQ, the rain you sent down here has moved on, the sun came out this afternoon.
Eliminating anything that causes me anxiety has been a big help! I even make half caffeine coffee!!!

Det, where is you??