Scientists have developed a new type of rubber that you can keep on inflating without it ever bursting.
It's the result of five years research into Kanye West's ego.
It's been revealed the National Sperm bank only has 9 registered donors a year after launch. We need more 'members', said a spokesman.
Judging by the state of the UK, Eastern Europe must be "closed for refurbishment."
Say what you want about my forehead wrinkles, they're making headlines.
The National Sperm Bank in Birmingham made an appeal to Parliament today.
They said their reserves are running low and are in desperate need of some tossers.
"I've just been sacked from my job at the picture framers" I said to my friend
"Why's that?" he asked
"They said I cut too many corners" I replied
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