brews all round..
Hiya NS...hope your lows arent too low..as for the booze ..it is good that it isnt a main feature in life now..as we speak ,downstairs I have a bottle of 8 year old whisky that I bought the other day...itsfor a farmer for letting me on his land..it was one of my faves..and do you know the thought hasnt even entered my head of necking it..in days of yore ..even at this time of the morning..I guess I would have had a sniff!
hiya Sam ..hows you today then?feeling any better?hope so..you out and about today?
hey bear apologies ..never saw you had started a post yesterday!!hope all is well with you ..
hiya Lav...hows you then?temp measures put in place to stop the horses!!you still getting rain?its frosty and sunny here ..rain from the weekend on..you minion minding...or on battleship watch?whatever heres a brew to start ..
hey ppqp..hows you then?and pauly and det?
hiya pie..how are you ?David Cameron sends his thanks for the pig pin up!!:egad: you any plans or projects on the go?
well thats it short n sweet!!!
have a great day those here and those not..........
"Mummy, Mummy! can I have this plesaseeeeeeee?"
"No Damien, put it back I've told you before comics are a waste of money"
"Will there be anything else miss?"
"Errr two lucky dips on the Euro and 4 scratchcards please"
Once saw Meatloaf in a restaurant choking on a piece of German sausage.
I saved his life that night.
I took the wurst right out of his mouth
I've just got a cracking deal on a brand new VW Golf TDi. Only £2,000.
The only downside is the road tax is £25,000 a year.
Smoking in cars while children are present is now banned.
An exception had been made for drivers of VWs and Audis because Police will be unable to determine the source of the fumes.
The new law takes effect today, that it's illegal to smoke with children in your car.
I'm taking great pleasure in driving all day, not smoking, whilst I have four 16 year old's, chain smoking whilst I drive.
As they are under 18 and classified as children, get out of that one, stupid lawmakers.
I just have to say on behalf of the farmers association , the recent demonstration in Asda with the cows was not a protest, the thick bstards got lost .
Yours Sincerely
The Cows .
A woman stopped me in the street and said, "Would you like to put your hand in your pocket for Children In Need."
I said, "Sure, I normally give money, but if you think it will help."
"Childbirth pain greatly exaggerated", according to a survey of 1000 men.
Tired of busy city streets?
Simply wear a bright jacket with a charity name on the back and watch people swerve you.
Police are seeking a man who has so far stabbed six people to death with knitting needles all in the same area.
He seems to be following some sort of pattern..
I've just been reading that, by law, you have to turn your headlights on when it's raining in Sweden.
And I'm thinking, "Who the fck's going to let me know when it's raining in Sweden?"
My blonde girlfriend put my dinner on the table. I took a bite, then ran to the sink and held my mouth under the tap for ten minutes.
When I'd regained the power of speech, I said, "What the FCK did you put on my dinner?"
She said, "Umm...just a bit of pepper."
"What, normal table pepper or a bloody chilli pepper?!"
"I don't know," she replied, "I didn't check the can before I sprayed it on."
There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job it was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.
One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.
The letter read:
Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had £100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension cheque.
Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner.
Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope.
Can you please help me?
Sincerely,
Edna
The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few pounds. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected £96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.
The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.
Christmas came and went.
A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God.
All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.
It read:
Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.
By the way, there was £4 missing.
I think it must have been those b.stards at the Post Office!
Just been chatting to a girl called Miss Stone on a dating website..."I feel awkward calling you Miss Stone." I wrote, "What's your first name?" "Guess." she replied back. "Okay" I wrote. I took another glance at her profile picture, "Is it Twenty?
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