Optimistic October

[SnoopyC]

Good morning...

Pauly, I have been hearing you say your have really been feeling stressed for the last several weeks, about lots of things. Your mom coming is another big stressor for you. I wonder what you have doneand planned in the past that has worked for you? You are welcome here always and we will support you so just ask. Hope your Sunday is peaceful and AF. Sending you peace and strength.

Lav, I gained a little back, but not as bad as I thought. This has to be a marathon, not a sprint. Your are right, it is harder as you get older, BUT, I am consuming too many calories. I do not need to eat much at all. If I follow the plan, I am never hungry, just satisfied, and it takes some getting used to: planning and sticking to it. I want to do this for myself, the difference is at the first mess up, I quit in the past. This time I decided to keep going and keep trying. Just like being AF, try and try again. Right? So, that is where i am at. Sounds like you are enjoying a little R & R on your own. Hope you have a good Sunday.

Hello Dill and Cyn, have a good one.

[Lavande]

Good morning friends!

We had our first light frost last night - no going back now, ha ha!
I ended up taking the boys off of my DIL's hands for a while yesterday. She is nursing a sore knee, possible meniscus tear
My granddaughter will be back tonight by dinnertime - oh boy!
Regardless, I am just grateful that I am fit enough & willing to help out.

Star, I have found this year that with my current eating pattern & getting to Curves 4X/week that I automatically lose a pound every two months or so. Not what you call rapid weight loss but probably just as well. I think I just need the exercise more than anything. You will find what works for you if you hang in there

Pauly, you have every right to ban AL from your house. You can't please everyone all of the time. Right now you need to look after yourself first & foremost. Drinking will only boost your anxiety level. AL is a liar - don't listen to that voice.

Hello to Dill & Cyn, hope you are both well!

OK, off to get my busy day going.
Have a good AF Sunday everyone!

Lav

[treegirl]

Hi everybody!

Sorry for the long absence - things were really hopping while I was visiting people. I got home late Friday night, and then raced around yesterday cleaning the house and cooking for the arrival of SD and Mr Tree. It's been a long time since we were all together, so this was a mini-reunion. But I'm TIRED today.

My trip was quite amazing, on number of different levels. Very emotional, toward the end of the week. I had to confront the fact that when I left, somewhat abruptly, and in the middle of a divorce (my ex stayed in town and co-opted most of my friends), many people were confused and felt abandoned by me. So that was a big thing to hear and to try to deal with. It also caused me to mentally re-visit my 25 years of life there, and to try to piece together my journey, and it nudged away (a little bit) the heavy stone off of a big well of sadness that holds a lot of emotions about things in my previous life. I have never been so glad to have my sobriety solid. If it had been a few years ago, I just might have fallen into a vat of some substance...as it was, I was able to sit with all the emotions and see a little bit of what went on and how it has all shaped me. Not particularly pleasant or easy, but I made it. Or, I am making it a bit each day, walking the memory path. Lots of tears, lots of sighing. I have taken out old pictures and am trying to reconnect with that girl and who she was.

Anyway, I've read all of your posts, and it's so good to catch up with everybody. Thanks for being here on my return. I realize that this group is really my go-to for deep issues of healing, health and even spirituality - thanks everyone for hanging in there.

Pauly - I'm so sorry for all your stress. I love Lav's idea of creating a AL free zone - that would shake everybody up, I'm sure! Bless you for keeping at your sober work - just keep at it, keep at it, keep at it. AL is a liar, and you are worth creating a life not controlled by that terrible taskmaster. Good luck - sending you lots of healing.

More in the coming days when I get things settled down in my own spirit. I think some bush-whacking is in order!!

Wishing all a deep comforting AF Sunday.
PS - just looked out the window at snow showers! sheesh!

[dill]

Hello Friends,

Welcome back Cyn. It sounds like you have had a lot of reflection and soul searching. It sounds like it was very important work for you and you are the stronger for it.

Pauly, I agree with all that's been said here and want to add my support. Do what ever you need to do to win. You deserve to have your freedom.

Lav, it's really difficult to have a little one around 24/7 but if anyone can handle it, it's you! It helps knowing that there is an end date though, doesn't it.

Star, I like your attitude about the weigh loss. It is long term and there is not use giving up. I know you can do it. The books I mentioned by Druon that Cyn got me interested in are a series of historical novels based in fact where as the Game of Thrones is total fiction and has fantasy woven in.

I'm sorry I was MIA yesterday and late checking in today. It's been unusually busy here these last two days. Lots of good visiting with family and old friends. I am exhausted tho!

[SnoopyC]

Good morning...

So good to hear from you Cyn, what an amazing story about your life. You were courageous to go back and to face all that you had left, I know divorce can be such a difficult path. To face everything AF is the way to face anything: honestly and clearly. Sorry you have snow on your return. I am having some aches and pains with the weather just getting cooler and I don't like it.

Lav, I don't know how you do it. You must be in better shape than me. This is something I have to work on. I again ache so badly from being active yesterday, and realize I am on the right path making changes in my eating and eventually, exercising. It is finding the time to exercise, but I have to do it. I need to drop some poundage, and I am sure that with persistence and practice, I will get this.

Dill, I get how hard it can be if you have family over to have time to post. That is why I am lucky to have time most mornings. Otherwise, I find it hard to post. Those books sound interesting. I have found books I may be interested on this website I found so will look when I have time.

Pauly, hope your week goes well, and you are feeling better. I bet when you hear about snow you are happy to have it nice and warm.

Have a great Monday.

[Lavande]

Good morning friends!

Sunny & frosty in these parts
We had a few drops of rain yesterday & I heard that it was a few flakes of snow just an hour north of here where my daughter lives, geez!
Granddaughter is here for week two, so far so good.

Welcome back Cyn, glad to have 'home' with us once again.
You are a brave one to revisit all that old business. I'm not sure I would want to do all that.
I am much happier leaving the old stuff (and people) in the past. The only exception is my small group of work friends, they're A-OK I hope you take it easy & don't overwork yourself this week.

Star, I have much better stamina now than I did before I joined Curves 5 years ago. That 30 minutes of movement each visit is enough to get your blood circulating, warm up & stretch your muscles & hopefully build your bone density too. It's nice interacting with the other ladies too since I'm so isolated here.
I think finding the right foods for our body types is the magic bullet

Dill, I am fine watching the little one for now but certainly don't want it to be a permanent situation. She needs to be around kids her age & do the things the normally do. Let's hope the new preschool has good news soon. Sounds like you have had a busy few days yourself!

Pauly, are you with us & OK?

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF day ahead!

Lav

[dill]

Hello All,
Lav, I hope you just have this week and not next as well. I imagine you have to forego Curves while she is with you and I know how important Curves time is to you. It's good for you physically, mentally and emotionally. I get that. I wish I could or maybe I should say "would" latch on to something like that to have in my world. The closest Curves is too far to justify the drive and gas. I know I could find something else if I really tried but so far I haven't broken out of my coccoon. I'm fairly happy most of the time with what I am doing so I guess it is something that I will do when I feel more of a need. Some days I do feel like I am getting there.

Star, I can usually find time to post early in the morning even when the gk's are here but this past Sunday I had double booked myself. I had to make something to eat during the football game in the afternoon for our company then, AND I had to make food for a brunch here at our house for the late morning for some out of town visitors. I was up before dawn (as usual) but instead of posting I was grating cheese and chopping onions, LOL! It was all worth the effort tho. I hope you can figure out a way to work exercise into your week. I remember well how hard it was to find the time when I was still working full time. I made a habit of walking at my lunch hour. I would ask others to join me and we would have a walk and conversation but if no one would join me I would walk alone and listen to my ipod. I always have a podcast or a book to listen to which makes the walking more enjoyable.

Hello Pauly, hope you're ok and not completely stressing out about the upcoming visit. Sending you positive energy.

Hi Cyn, pretty soon the clocks will be changed again which means the dark will be upon us even earlier as we are moving quickly toward the long dark nights of winter. I used to prefer the long dark nights during my drinking days. I liked that everything slowed down and I could drink my night away uninterrupted. I find now that I prefer the longer days and the longer light. It's almost like before, I was choosing death over life, darkness over light. I know it sounds a bit dramatic and I don't mean to really. Just something I was noticing.

Have a good and peaceful af Monday.

[treegirl]

Hi everybody -

Lav, I meant to say that this whole pre-school thing sounds very weird! I'm so glad that you are able to be with your gdaughter for a while...sounds like you are finding good 'teaching' moments to build her resilience.

Dill - wow, that sounds like an intense weekend. Hope you are getting some rest. Well, now that you are getting the 2nd Druon book, maybe I will too! I am almost done with Cleopatra...that true story is also stranger than fiction as well!

Star - I hear you, about the cold and damp. I have had great success with my pain through modifying my diet. For me, sugar is absolutely the enemy, followed by certain carbs and nightshade plants. I now have pureed cauliflower instead of mashed potatoes. My irish ancestors are rolling over in their graves! Good luck with feeling better.

Pauly - we're here for you - come on back for a bump-up of support! Sending you lots of good energy.

Well, it's been quite a day here - girl dog coughed all night, but seemed better when we got up, and she wanted breakfast. But after that, everything went downhill, and she had another episode. This one wasn't abating afte 3 hours, and she had a temp, so into the vet we went. 4 xrays, sub-cu meds, take-home meds and $700 later (I'm hoping that most if not at least some of that will be paid by insurance, since this is related to earlier covered issues.), it looks like she has a pneumonia as well as the mysterious gastric issue. Scheduled an ultrasound with an canine Internist (!) for the end of the month so that we can get to the bottom of this. Her liver looks very small on the xrays, and she's dropped 2 lbs since the last visit, so something is definitely going on.

Aargh, off to try to make some money to pay the vet bills! Take care all - happy AF Monday.

[paulywogg]

Hello friends, yes I still here,still AF,yes still stressed, I know that I can enjoy the time with my mom sober but I guess a part of me misses the giggling drunk times we used to have and how someday when she's old,I'll regret not having any of those times with her anymore,so stupid to think that way really but its the truth, however,she comes we drink,then what? I'm stuck here picking up the pieces of yet another relapse, I wish she weren't coming tbh,but its been 3 years since she's been down,I hate myself for feeling so confused about all of this,thanks for letting me vent everybody, it does help to get it out there,hope everyone's Monday has been nice

[SnoopyC]

Good morning...

Still feeling achy and tired. Went to bed early and have to go to work. Otherwise, I would rest all day.

Cyn, I wonder if the achy feeling did come from a few bad meals. Then it takes time to work itself out. All I know is I need a few days off to just rest, but that will not be coming soon. Your poor dog. Hope he gets better quickly.

Lav, I do need to get into some exercise, just have to find the time. I am glad your granddaughter has a little time with you. I think that the daycare she was at was not a good fit if she was crying often. Kids are so little now when we expect them to be gone all day. Some kids do fine with it, others just don't. It is a tough situation, and I am glad she is getting the grandma special treatment. I have a place to exercise in my home, I just got out of the habit of doing it. I think as soon as I feel better, I will try some gentle exercise.

Dill, I love to cook my favorite dishes for my family, but it is alot of work. I am pressed for time, working five days is good for me, and I love having evenings off.

Pauly, hope you have a good day with less stress.

[treegirl]

Morning all -

Not much to report here since last night...my girl dog is really knocked-out from everything, I think she's pretty sick this time. I'm sure the antibiotics will help eventually, but it's a big change to have her feeling so out of it. In the meantime, boy dog is really 'over' all the attention she's getting! You can practically see him rolling his eyes - 'geez, it's always about HER'! Very funny - so I give him a lot of attention too.

Star - I think your plan of doing some gentle exercise is a good one. With my fibromyalgia, I know that aches and pains are my body's way of saying "more movement please!" It always seems to help.

Pauly - wow, you've got a lot of emotions going on there! Thanks for being so honest about it all. Yes, it is hard to make a new way that's different from the past. But it really is possible, and it's the way of freedom. And you know where the other path leads...nowhere. I bet you can make a new way for the new you to be with your Mom...

Hope everyone has a good day today. Windy and leaf-y here today, maybe a bit warmer. I have a lot of autumn house duties to take care of, once I get a bunch of work done. I always seem to be doing these season-changes all by myself! Oh well - onward!

[Lavande]

Good Tuesday morning friends!

Not quite as chilly this morning, yesterday was unusual for a mid-October day.

Cyn, sorry about the doggie illness, geez.
Those hefty vet bills really hurt, ouch. I hope she feels better very soon!
I have all the seasonal house duties to get done too but am not getting much done with my special little visitor here.

Star, take care, maybe you're dealing with a low grade viral thing. Try to find some chicken soup somewhere - works like a charm.
That reminds me, I have a chicken carcass in the fridge that I need to drop into the crockpot to make some nourishing bone broth overnight, yum. I am going to force myself to get on the treadmill since I am missing my Curves time these past two weeks.

Pauly, it is definitely time to create new AF memories for you & your Mom.
Perhaps you can plan some activities with Louie while she's visiting. It would be a good time to explain to her that you are looking forward to planning an AF future for yourself & the little guy too!

Hi there Dill, hope you are having a good week so far.

Have a terrific AF Tuesday everyone!

Lav

[dill]

Hello Friends, late one for me again. Such a beautiful day today yet again. I wish it could go on and on, these cool nights and warm days. Low humidity too. It just doesn't get any better.

Pauly, what time of day does your mom start drinking? Maybe you could try to schedule activities with her prior to her start time. Maybe go out to breakfast or lunch or go to see a show or matinee in the afternoon, or go to a museum or whatever, before the al starts flowing. Then when she starts drinking, minimize your interaction or even take yourself out for a walk or some other kind of buffering activity. Can you plan some morning activities specifically so that she will go to bed early and hopefully stop drinking sooner? It isn't realistic to expect her behavior to change just because you have changed yours, but if she sees you being successful and somewhat content spending your time af, maybe she will want to try it herself. I wish you well my friend.

Star, I hope you are feeling better. Lav's suggestion of chicken soup is perfect. It makes you feel better even when you are feeling ok, if you know what I mean. I was wondering if Mr. Star was back home? I remember you said he was going out of town for a bit. Did you enjoy the time alone or find it difficult?

Cyn, I'm sorry your girl dog is feeling so poorly. I hope by the time we hear from you again that she is much improved. I was reading the very begining of The Strangle Queen and the opening setting is at a place called Chateau-Gaillard where the princesses are imprisoned for adultery. I stopped reading and googled the place and there were loads of images and info about it on the web. So amazing to have a ruin like that still existing today and reading all the drama that was taking place back in the 1300's there. I am however proceeding at a snail's pace with this book so you may very well catch up with me without even trying, LOL.

Lav, it is frustrating to have seasonal chores on hold I imagine. Maybe you can tackle some that little granddaughter can "help" with. My granddaughter loves to help. The trick is finding a way to include her without it taking all my effort away from the task at hand! Ha!

Grandson's birthday is this Sunday. His mom wants to take him and his sister and cousin to one of those indoor game places. I made up my mind last year that I was done with going to places like that, so we will have to celebrate his birthday next time he is here with a little cake, etc. I have a couple of nice things on order for him, too.

Let's all have a peaceful af Tuesday evening.

[SnoopyC]

Good morning, great posts,

I am feeling better, I just needed a good night's sleep. Seriously, if I don't sleep decently, I don't feel well.

Cyn, your poor doggie. Enjoy taking care of the fall chores. Are they outdoor things or indoors. I help with the outdoor stuff, but this is the first year at the new house, so not a whole lot to do. Small yard, limited trees, putting in outdoor stuff. I did do some gently exercise and immediately felt better. My new focus has to be on doing that regularly.

Lav, it is fun with a little one, hard to get things done. She is old enough though to do a few things maybe. I did have lots of soup and it was good. How did you know?

Dill, I love this weather too. My husband was gone four days and has been home since last week. I was fine on my own for a few days. Glad to have him back.

Pauly, hope things are going well. I know it is hard to have visitors, I always struggle with my space being invaded, even when I want to see my family. Ha.

Have a good one.

[Lavande]

Good morning friends & happy Hump day!

I must have worn out the little one yesterday - she's still sleeping & it's nearly 8 am, haha!
We went to Longwood Gardens yesterday & walked for miles, had a lot of fun.
The weather is just perfect & I'm sleeping well this week, yay!!

Star, glad yo are feeling better!
I just happen to have some bone broth (chicken) simmering in my crockpot. I started it last night after dinner & just let it cook all night. I will turn it into chicken noodle soup this afternoon, yum.

Dill, my helper does like 'cleaning' the floors with a Swiffer mop & 'cleaning' windows as well. I try to get her busy with that stuff when I actually have to get some work done in my shop. I do have some work waiting for me too.
I'm sure your grandson will love whatever you do for his birthday. That way he gets two celebrations, nothing wrong with that

Pauly, I hope you are feeling stronger & more determined than ever to stay on board with us.
Letting go of the 'old ways' helps us create a better AF future!

Cyn, I hope everyone in your house is feeling better now
Eating according to our body types is the only way to go I think. YB still pretty much prefers to eat the way he did 50 years ago but I'm not cooking that stuff anymore. He can eat steak when we go out - no steak here, ha ha!!

Wishing everyone a great AF day!

Lav