brews all round?
hey Mr G ...hows you today then?still strummin away on yer g string??? as for the ripper...he was in my care at one stage of my past life..unfortunately I wasnt allowed tobe judge n jury!!have bonzer day blue..(in a scottish accent!!)
hey bear ..hows you..sack the prosec..prossecc....bloody wine :happy2: stick with sweets...its taken you a wee while to bin Mr al..you dont need him in your life....whats the tears for...?you havin to spend dosh or summat?
hey pauly ...hows you today then?still settin up your kidz dating agency?charmin message left on the shop door..pity they didnt sign it!!have a great day...with godzilla and medusa!!
hiya pytoo...checked in the register!..hows you today then?oh no no tinternet ..easy solution...just get a 10"screened fone!!!
hiya Lav...hows you today then?brew time first..any minions on the horizon?did you get the declutter on the road?if you need rain theres a few inches going spare here!!are you gettin busier at work now chrimbo is on the cards?
hey Sam crackin pics ...not to be outdone..heres the outside of my gaff at the mo!!glad the calf is ok...be well mate..
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big hello to the others,ns,ppqp,det sf ...et al sounds like a code doesnt it?
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I'm convinced that every time a sock goes missing from the dryer...
It comes back as an extra Tupperware lid...
I like Jonathan Ross but I much prefer his high flying brother.
Albert.
I've finally come to accept I'm dyslexic and I'll always be dyslexic.
A Leotard can't change its spots.
Walking into the shop and placing the bag on the counter, I said to the cashier, "I'd like to return this please".
"Is there anything wrong with the item?", she asked.
"No, nothing", I replied. "It's hardly been used and I just no longer need it."
"Sir, this bag is empty", the cashier exclaimed.
"That's right", I said. "I'd like my fcking five pence".
"So," I asked this woman in the pub "what do you do for a living?"
"I screw desperate men for fifty pound a time" she replied.
"So you're a prostitute?"
"No, I'm a traffic warden.
Girls can draw eyebrows on, but I draw hair on my head and apparently I'm ridiculous
Went for a meal at Nando's submarine themed restaurant
Burnt my eye on the piri piri scope
Did you hear about the Arab who hid cannabis in his ear?
He was stoned to deaf.
"We're putting on 'The Jungle Book' at the theatre," I said.
"Have you got a bear yet?" asked my mate.
"No, do I need one?" I asked.
"A bear's a necessity," he said.
"Dad,I'm not quite sure what I should do when I've finished school."
"How about,your fecking homework,son."
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