right ..brew time ..
hiya Det.....glad you are enjoying yourself without the booze monster ...enjoy the circus!!
hia pie...firstly well done on the non attendance at the cocktail party!!you didnt miss much..well apart from a sore head people trying to outdo each other at loud talking,and lets see who can make the maddest drink .comIve nearly finished in the garage..its almost rabbit proofed Iveput hinged lids gates and doors on so that they cant get into anything...hutch needs catches put on and thats it..and yesterday I made a veg rack.its not finished yet ..needs tidied up ..all it is ..2 plastic bread trays cut in half to make shelves.screwed into 4 uprights and then just put facing wood on to cover all the rubbish wood etc...to do that ,the hutch and the rabbit proofing all in ..has cost me about £3.50!!just stuff Ive found ,re-used etc..
hiya pauly ...hows you today then?feelin ok?get some depresso cawfee....!!you are right ..its kind of hard to keep within limits with jokes..especially on current affairs..good news isnt eggzackly jumpin out of the telly at us..so youre puttin the tree up today are you..think we might put a baby chrimbo tree up ....a pine cone!fly out on 16th Dec ...come back on 23rd..oh dear..anyways you have a great day....
hiya blinky boo...hows you today then?whats you up to?owt or nowt?yep I here what ewe say about things having different meanings and spelling...I no it must be difficult two practice for English students practicing there skillls..and then on top of that all the local dialects too ..the word dont ...localised into some dialects .dinnae,dint ,daint downt and theres loads more...
hiya byrdie hows you then ...sent you a message yesterday..me yakking ..so its cake weekend is it ?we must be gettin close to the chrimbo theme now!!
hi kuya..how are you today...hows your loony stalker ..any more delectable delightful messages from him/her?whats the weekend hold for you then madam?
hey bear ...and hows you today then?all good I hope ..what are you up to thisweekend ..now that you have got working wheels?
hi Sam the man...how are you?ok I hope,anything for the weekend?no it aint a barbers joke!!just wondering if you had any giggin going on?
hiya Lav..brew on the go ..hows you today then?all ok....happy birthday to the gs...take it a day of spoiling is in the offing?
hiya ns.....as above ...except methinks with you it doesnt neccessarily have to be birthdays ..rearrange this phrase ..finger ,little, wrapped around, theyve got you!! have a super/souper weekend!
ppqp..you there?
big shout to any I have missed.........
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The orchestra conductor was laying into the second violin: 'If you don't buck up your ideas and demonstrate to me that you are worthy of being called a musician, I'll take away your violin and your bow, give you two drumsticks, and move you to the percussion section.'
The drummer then chimed in with: 'Yeah, and if you can't play the drums, we'll take away one of your sticks...and make you the conductor!'
You know you're in trouble when you go to the doctors, show them the problem and they say 'What the f.ck is that?'
think about this one!
My favourite Bob Marley song is 'polish a Midget Military Man.'
I mean 'Buffalo Soldier.'
I hope Adele never loses her cat or we'll need to listen to 3 albums about it.
Those who can, do.
Those who can't, teach.
Those who can't teach, teach teachers.
Those who can teach teachers, become school inspectors.
I just finished my tour in Afghanistan.
I'm starting to think my travel agent ripped me off.
If supermarkets have a fresh food section...
The rest of the food must be stale.
My big shot banking mate was bragging in the pub last night that he's been charged an additional five hundred grand from the Tax man because he's earned so much.
He then says " I've got an arrangement in place to pay it over 12 months"
I replied " I've got a similar arrangement in place with Argos, for a toaster"
Riddles
Q: What has a foot but no legs?
Q: Poor people have it. Rich people need it. If you eat it you die. What is it?
Q: What comes down but never goes up?
Q: I’m tall when I’m young and I’m short when I’m old. What am I?
Q: Mary’s father has 5 daughters – Nana, Nene, Nini, Nono. What is the fifth daughters name?
Q: How can a pants pocket be empty and still have something in it?
Q: In a one-story pink house, there was a pink person, a pink cat, a pink fish, a pink computer, a pink chair, a pink table, a pink telephone, a pink shower– everything was pink! what colour were the stairs
Q: A dad and his son were riding their bikes and crashed. Two ambulances came and took them to different hospitals. The man’s son was in the operating room and the doctor said, “I can’t operate on you. You’re my son.”
How is that possible?
Q: What goes up when rain comes down?
Q: What is the longest word in the dictionary?
Q: If I drink, I die. If i eat, I am fine. What am I?
Q: Throw away the outside and cook the inside, then eat the outside and throw away the inside. What is it?
Q: What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
Q: What travels around the world but stays in one spot?
answers....
A: A snail
A: Nothing
A: Rain
A: A candle
A: If you answered Nunu, you are wrong. It’s Mary!
A: It can have a hole in it.
A: There weren’t any stairs, it was a one story house!
A: The doctor is his mom!
A: An umbrella!
A: Smiles, because there is a mile between each ‘s’
A: A fire!
A: Corn on the cob, because you throw away the husk, cook and eat the kernels, and throw away the cob.
A: Short
A: A stamp!
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