mornin all..and how are we today then?all getting christmassyed up ..ho ho ho...yeh ok!!weather over here today is pretty blowy,rain forecast for later.....well rabbit hutch has finally been completed....but no occupants!!Ive got a funny feeling that they aint interested!!got of another couple of ideas in my head..so we shall see....well today over here the debate is on whether to support the air strikes on Syria...lets hope that the right decision is made ...on behalf of the people ..not a bunch of egotistical politicians!!
brew time..here we go....
hiya Kuya..hows you then today?all good?yes definitely we need to get together when you come over in Feb..I live about 10 miles from Manchester ..depending obviously where about you are .I live just outside Shaw,..probably best way to describe is between Junctions 21 and 22 on the M62..look for the hills ..thats me in there
hiya Lav ..brew time ...how are you today then?so thats you on with the xmas shopping...please dont spend a lot on mine
..Im going on the treadmill this morning..first time proper for a long time so we shall see how the knee holds out....
hiya Sam...hows mudsville today then mate?whats this about the lights for the hens??they want a tree too!!
hiya pauly ...hows you today then?are you feeling less tired?hope so....so the dredd lox have gone?hey she will grow out of the piercings...our Amy went thru that..eyebrow,tongue nose etc..but now she is working in the hozzy theyve gone she isnt allowed to wear them either..
hiya pie how are you today then?all good?and the doggies?glad the jokes made you larf!!
hiya ns,det,ppqp,(wherever you are)and everyone else have a great day.....
I had four tins of alphabet soup for dinner last night.
This morning, I had a massive vowel movement.
The Welsh have changed their system of organ donation to one of "assumed consent"
This is the same system they have successfully been applying to sex with sheep for centuries.
"Doctor Doctor, do you get pissed off with having the same surname as your profession?"
A keyring is a handy little gadget that allows you to lose all your keys at once.
My friends were amazed when I told them I can tell the future using herbs.
"Is it true?" They asked
'Only thyme will tell' I replied.
I've just received a call from a mate who's fallen into a hole in the local cemetery and can't get out.
Sounds like he's in grave danger.
I was telling my dad about the never ending lollipop I bought.
"It's brilliant," I said to him. "I've been licking it for weeks and it's still the same size."
"That's great, son," he replied. "But I think you should take the wrapper off."
honest ..I copied this one!!
There were three blondes stuck on an island and they had been there for a few days, when they stumbled across a magical lamp. One of the blondes rubs the lamp and sure enough a genie pops out and offers to grant each of them a wish.
The first blonde says, "Make me smart so I can think of a way to get off this island."
He points his finger at her, and she turns into a redhead. Then she heads to the water and swims towards land.
The next blonde says, "Make me even smarter than her so I can get off this island!"
So he points his finger and she becomes a brunette, and she builds a boat and sets sail.
The last one says "Make me smarter than both of them combined!!"
The genie points his finger at her and turns her into a man, the man then walks across the foot bridge back to mainland.
I filled my tank up with petrol this morning.
Now all the goldfish are dead
worst comments on your exam papers...
10. See me after class.
9. Did you even read the material?
8. It's a C, but it's a strong C.
7. Fascinatingly convoluted.
6. My, what nice, big margins!
5. You must've been up all last night.
4. The book ends differently than the movie.
3. Spelling requires more than just sounding it out.
2. Are you familiar with the term "plagiarism"?
1. Tell your mom to try harder.
Barack Obama is visiting a primary school and he visits one of the classes. They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asks the President if he would like to lead the discussion of the word "tragedy."
So the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a tragedy. One little boy stands up and offers: "If my best friend who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy."
"No," says President Obama, "that would be an accident."
A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains the exalted leader. "That's what we would call a great loss."
The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. President Obama searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally at the back of the room, little Johnny raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says: "If Air Force One carrying you was struck by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy."
"Fantastic!" exclaims the President "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"
"Well," says the boy, "because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."
brew time..here we go....
hiya Kuya..hows you then today?all good?yes definitely we need to get together when you come over in Feb..I live about 10 miles from Manchester ..depending obviously where about you are .I live just outside Shaw,..probably best way to describe is between Junctions 21 and 22 on the M62..look for the hills ..thats me in there
hiya Lav ..brew time ...how are you today then?so thats you on with the xmas shopping...please dont spend a lot on mine
..Im going on the treadmill this morning..first time proper for a long time so we shall see how the knee holds out....hiya Sam...hows mudsville today then mate?whats this about the lights for the hens??they want a tree too!!
hiya pauly ...hows you today then?are you feeling less tired?hope so....so the dredd lox have gone?hey she will grow out of the piercings...our Amy went thru that..eyebrow,tongue nose etc..but now she is working in the hozzy theyve gone she isnt allowed to wear them either..
hiya pie how are you today then?all good?and the doggies?glad the jokes made you larf!!
hiya ns,det,ppqp,(wherever you are)and everyone else have a great day.....
I had four tins of alphabet soup for dinner last night.
This morning, I had a massive vowel movement.
The Welsh have changed their system of organ donation to one of "assumed consent"
This is the same system they have successfully been applying to sex with sheep for centuries.
"Doctor Doctor, do you get pissed off with having the same surname as your profession?"
A keyring is a handy little gadget that allows you to lose all your keys at once.
My friends were amazed when I told them I can tell the future using herbs.
"Is it true?" They asked
'Only thyme will tell' I replied.
I've just received a call from a mate who's fallen into a hole in the local cemetery and can't get out.
Sounds like he's in grave danger.
I was telling my dad about the never ending lollipop I bought.
"It's brilliant," I said to him. "I've been licking it for weeks and it's still the same size."
"That's great, son," he replied. "But I think you should take the wrapper off."
honest ..I copied this one!!
There were three blondes stuck on an island and they had been there for a few days, when they stumbled across a magical lamp. One of the blondes rubs the lamp and sure enough a genie pops out and offers to grant each of them a wish.
The first blonde says, "Make me smart so I can think of a way to get off this island."
He points his finger at her, and she turns into a redhead. Then she heads to the water and swims towards land.
The next blonde says, "Make me even smarter than her so I can get off this island!"
So he points his finger and she becomes a brunette, and she builds a boat and sets sail.
The last one says "Make me smarter than both of them combined!!"
The genie points his finger at her and turns her into a man, the man then walks across the foot bridge back to mainland.
I filled my tank up with petrol this morning.
Now all the goldfish are dead
worst comments on your exam papers...
10. See me after class.
9. Did you even read the material?
8. It's a C, but it's a strong C.
7. Fascinatingly convoluted.
6. My, what nice, big margins!
5. You must've been up all last night.
4. The book ends differently than the movie.
3. Spelling requires more than just sounding it out.
2. Are you familiar with the term "plagiarism"?
1. Tell your mom to try harder.
Barack Obama is visiting a primary school and he visits one of the classes. They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asks the President if he would like to lead the discussion of the word "tragedy."
So the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a tragedy. One little boy stands up and offers: "If my best friend who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy."
"No," says President Obama, "that would be an accident."
A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains the exalted leader. "That's what we would call a great loss."
The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. President Obama searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally at the back of the room, little Johnny raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says: "If Air Force One carrying you was struck by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy."
"Fantastic!" exclaims the President "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"
"Well," says the boy, "because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."
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