so snuggle up and get a brew..
Folks...dont think I will be posting so much for the next few days,...still be here but methinks I need a bit of a break......will still be jotting about ..but heres a coupla jokes to keep you going....stay safe and sober....
The Swordfish has few predators to worry about in the wild,
Except the seldom seen Penfish which is said to be even mightier.
I always found the fishmonger at our local market to be pretty unfriendly.
In fact I'd describe him as a little standoffish.
The inventor of the world's first organic coffins made entirely out of vegetables has died
May he rest in peas
I was having an induction at the gym.
"This is a state of the art cycling machine" said the instructor. "It's just like the real thing. Hop on".
10 minutes later he came back. "Mr Smith, you appear to have burnt zero calories. Why aren't you pedalling?".
"I know" I replied. "I was going downhill".
There were some great speakers at the bank robbing seminar I went to last month offering a lot of good advice
I should have taken notes
"...98... 99... 100. Phew! How was that?" asked my wife.
"Very impressive, Sarah," I replied. "However, there is a theory behind why it's known as a three-point turn."
After coming out of my final quantum physics exam today my friends asked me how I found the paper.
They couldn't believe it when I said that it was easy.
It was just sitting on the desk when I got there.
How many Royal Mail postmen does it take to change a light bulb?
178. On double overtime and time off in lieu. And the bulb's at the depot. You were out. Collect it yourself, tomorrow. We're shut. We're off home. Feck off.
I went to a fortune teller last week and he told me a lot of money was coming my way.
I walked out really excited, then I got hit by a Securicor van.
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