hey folks ...its 5.20 on a balmy -2 sunday mornin ..how are we all....?ok I hope...just orf out.....Kuya good for you girl not drinking...impressed ya never mentioned cigs ..well done you ....ppqp where you gorn?big shout to pie lav sam et al ..NOT alcohol ..off into the wilds of lincoln now ..see yall
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af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 12 -
Here is the truth Mick. I desperately wanted(still want?) an endorphin hit but I know that if I smoke even one cigarette I will be down the shop buying a pack of 20 within the hour. Smoking was my primary addiction...I am more afraid of smoking than drinking to be honest.Originally posted by Mick View Post
Getting loaded with alcohol doesn't carry the same fear for me..... Not going to lie.
What pisses me is how childhood BS can trip me up like this.
Lav.... You are so right, SHE won't remember a thing, her Alzheimers gives her amnesia from her life. Her body is alive but SHE isn't there. So why am I stressing about this trip????
It isn't about me OR her....it is simply not wanting to look like I don't give a f*ck....but truth is ..... I don't.
That was hard to type, but is the truth. My mum was a narcissistic bitch who gave away three children.
Honestly....if she dies alone in a hospital tonight, tomorrow or whenever it is no more or less than she earned. What little forgiveness was going to occur has already occurred.
I am only stressing over it for fear of how it 'looks' to outsiders.
F*ck her and them too!Last edited by kuya; February 14, 2016, 04:57 PM. -
I'm sorry you're hurt and angry, Kuya, and that these tough things have happened in your life. Thank goodness you've been able to make a new life for yourself and your family now.
You're right, Lav. I'm also grateful to be able to sort of step back from myself, see what I used to do, and choose not to do it (and wonder yet again how on earth I lived that way for so long).
Hope you made it home from the Wilds, Mick!
Hi there to all Abbers who stop by, :heart: NS
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Good morning Abbers & happy V day (if you celebrate those things, haha)
My dogs were up extra early for some reason. I guess they couldn't wait to go outside & experience peeing in 3 degree weather, LOL
My granddaughter slept until almost 8, not too bad. She is busy now tearing my house apart, having a ball.
Mick, stay warm on your treasure hunting adventure. I really hope you find something worthwhile today
kuya, learning to truly not give a f*ck about what other people think is such a blessing. No one else on this planet has experienced your life, they have no room to judge. Even my very own brothers don't know all that I experienced when we were growing up. They were too busy looking out for themselves. At the end of the day it's all very pathetic, four children so mentally & physically abused that all they can do is fend for themselves. Staying alive was a very lonely experience.
Deep down you know what's right & treat people with love & concern. You also know that you have to take care of yourself first & foremost. Staying away from the addictive substances is the best possible choice for us. I definitely do not want to fuel those fires again, you don't either :hug:
NS, I do not miss the old Lav anymore than you miss the old NS. Staying on plan is the name of the game!!!!
OK, time to feed this crew.
Wishing everyone a fabulous AF day!
LavAF since 03/26/09
NF since 05/19/09
Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:Comment
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Where the heck is everyone??
Just stopping back in to say goodnight to all!
Talked my granddaughter into going to bed at 9 pm - peace!!AF since 03/26/09
NF since 05/19/09
Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:Comment
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heyaooooo ABerooos!?
missing a few I see. must have left the back door open again.
Mick, enjoying the balmy -2 I hope.
well, a lovely Sunday at home with Dx including kebabs on the grill, always grand.
Kuya, here's a meditation just for you! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92i5m3tV5XY
better do my wind-down and hypno..
be well peepsnosce te ipsum
(Know Thyself)Comment
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