hiya Pauly...hope all is good with yuo today....that was quite some impressive post you put up yesterday...thank you for sharing......
hiya Sam...did you get he scales verified? you are the 2nd person thats mentioned its like spring to me ...my mate did earlier...month out exactly....you up to much today ...seein its sunday?
hiya ky...hows things with you today then?your avatar and job just warrant this!!!!well put to pauly ...victorious survivors
hiya ppqp...hope you are feeling better today.....your health is far more important than any of that...ye at times it wont feel like that ..but it is...
hi NS...how are you? where are you at the mo ?home?
hiya det..wow ...thats put a bomb up their butt!!any irons in the fire jobwise or is it too early..?main thing is you sound a whole lot better for it...
hiya lav ...and hows things with you then?all good in Lavland is it?weekend brew ...here you go....doing anything today?
hiya pie...hows you today?feeling any better /positive /cheerier /happier?....(pick at least one of them!!)Ive got 5 flagstones to lay and hardcore to put down but the weather has kind of done me this weekend.....trouble is..not feeling great I just mope about like a big kid ..so madam says!!
hope you are ok..
right folks short and sweet....so is this post by the way......
A fleeing Taliban fighter desperate for water was trudging through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water he hurried towards it only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand selling ties.
The Taliban asked, “Do you have water?”
The Jewish man replied, “I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5.”
The Taliban shouted, “Infidel! I do not need an over-priced tie! I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first!”
“OK, OK” said the old Jewish man, “It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the ice cold water you need. Shalom.” Muttering, the Taliban fighter staggered away over the hill. Several hours later he staggered back, almost dead… “Your fcking brother won’t let me in without a tie!”
Q: What do you get when you play country music backwards?
A: You get back your wife, your dog and your truck.
Two brunettes and a blonde are attempting to fix a roof. While they are on the roof, a herd of cattle run by and knock down the ladder and leave a big pile of poop behind.
The two brunettes decide to make the blonde check how deep the poop is so they can jump down. So the blonde jumps down and yells, "It's only ankle deep."
So the two brunettes jump down and scream, "What are you talking about?! It's up to our heads!"
And the blonde replies, "Well, I jumped in head first."
What's the last thing a redneck says before he dies?
Hey! Watch this...
My mother always told me, 'Boy, if somebody asks you a stupid question, you give them a stupid answer.' The cops walked up to my car, 'Would you like to step out of the car?' I said, 'Hell no, it's hot! I got the air conditioner on. How about you hop your ass in here with me?'
Three guys are convicted of a very serious crime, and they're all sentenced to twenty years in solitary confinement.
They're each allowed one thing to bring into the cell with them. The first guy asks for a big stack of books. The second guy asks for his wife. And the third guy asks for two hundred cartons of cigarettes.
At the end of the twenty years, they open up the first guy's cell. He comes out and says, "I studied so hard. I'm so bright now, I could be a lawyer. It was terrific."
They open up the second guy's door. He comes out with his wife, and they've got five new kids. He says. "It was the greatest thing of my life. My wife and I have never been so close. I have a beautiful new family. I love it."
They open up the third guy's door, and he's slapping at his pockets, going "Anybody got a match?"
There was a guy on the beach with about 25 gorgeous chicks swarming all around him.
Seeing this, a second guy strolls on up to him and asks, "What's your secret?"
The guy whispers, "All you gotta do is stick a pickle in your pants."
In a fluorish, the second guy runs off and stuffs a pickle in his pants. But when he returns to the shore, he soon discovers that every single girl that looks his way, runs off screaming in bloody terror. Confused, he hurries over to the first guyand desperately asks, "Why are all the girls running away from me?" The first guy looks up and replies, "The pickle's on the wrong side."
A hound dog lays in the yard and an old man in overalls sits on the porch.
"Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?" a jogger asks.
The old man looks over his newspaper and replies, "Nope."
As soon as the jogger enters the yard, the dog begins snarling and growling, and then attacks the jogger's legs. As the jogger flails around in the yard, he yells, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite!"
The old man mutters, "Ain't my dog."
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