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**kuya** · February 22, 2016, 03:26 AM

Alright, alright .... I get it now Patio furniture, Patio weeder.

The cousin thing is just odd. I understand they want to be there as they spent time with her BUT I should plan the funeral AROUND their holiday....just odd.

Anyhoos...still tired as.... Going for another nap before dealing with phone calls to the UK.

Laters guys

**Mick** · February 22, 2016, 04:01 AM

hey Sam....sorry mate....missed you orf the list apologies to you..Kuya England is open for trade in about 5 mins....moi I am orf to buy pavin slabs concrete and glass sand..,.yep can see how the cousin thing seems odd.....but it depends where there holiday is I would guess..if its long haul and costa good few shekels...because they are not immediate family or dependants,the travel co would not re-imburse them??

**Samstone** · February 22, 2016, 07:20 AM

morning all
No worries Mick, I didn't post yesterday so I was AWOL. Every once in awhile, I take a little break. Hope your teeth calm down, nothing worse.

Det, so glad you are changing your job!

Meeting someone this AM so gotta run. Hope to look in later,

have a good one dear friends
Sam

**Pie** · February 22, 2016, 08:39 AM

MAE All. Thanks for the start up, Mick, and glad to hear mouth pain is easing a bit. Seems we've traded weather as it's raining here today. Bottom line is that we need to sell Dad's house to pay for his care, and moving him in with me is part of that, at least for a time. Will need to make changes here for wheelchair accessibility, especially in the guest bathroom.

Kuya, do you have to hold a funeral at all?

Morning, Sam, and all to come.

**paulywogg** · February 22, 2016, 08:41 AM

Mae everybody, Mick,tis true that there's a lot of changes going on, I think hubs forgot how boring sober Pauly was,I enjoy reading, crossword puzzles, my time with Lou and my walks,I think he feels I'm shutting him out but I'm not trying to, Kuya,summed it up by saying that we do need to get out and do fun stuff with just us,he wanted to get a hotel room for valentines day but I try to avoid the casinos,I'm not sure a night like that would be good for me right now,we used to drink and gamble the whole night away on such excursions, not sure I could separate that past life from this life....yet anyways,and I also agree that the past IS the past and yes I've done some sketchy things but so has he,Iddon't dwell on them cuz I think its only worth fighting about stuff if you're gonna break up over it!! I told him I was drunk 24/7 and on Zoloft which made me weird,so get over it,I cried and told him he's my rock and don't be a dick,I need support from him right now,anyways,Kuya,how are you doing?are you gonna wait for the cousins?such a weird request, Pie,how's everything?you feeling less stress than the other day? Hello Sam,Lav,PPQP,Det,NS,wonder how Bear's doing,I'm sure she's fine,just miss her

blood sugar feels low,must get food! I hope we all have a great Monday

**Lavande** · February 22, 2016, 08:41 AM

Good morning Abbers,

Sunny & above freezing - yay!!
I am going to take advantage of this nice weather & go to Curves then drive straight on up to the outlets for some birthday shopping. My granddaughter's 5th BD is coming up on the 26th

Mick, I hope you get lots & lots done today. You have to make hay while the sun shines, right?
There is no such thing as sorting out YB - he's an ongoing project - nearly 43 years in the making....

Kuya, don't let anyone pressure you into anything, right?
I hope you get things sorted very soon.

Sam, we will forgive you for taking a day off, LOL

Hello to Det, Pauly, Pie, PQ, NS & everyone.
Have a great AF day one & all!

Lav

**porqoui** · February 22, 2016, 10:17 AM

MAE ALL....

Running late this morning so just popping in to stay accountable. It'll be interesting to see what the boss has to say today. Not really looking forward to it. Sounds like a few of us have a lot of major life changes happening at the moment. Sending positive vibes to everyone.....:smile:PPQP

**Lavande** · February 22, 2016, 09:11 PM

Pauly, I didn't notice that we cross posted this morning.
I don't want to scare you but I really believe the real reason YB ran off when he did is because I scared him. I was seeing the real him (for the first time in a long time) & telling him what I didn't like - tough sh*t!! It became abundantly clear that my whole reason for drinking the way I did was because I couldn't tolerate his behavior. He wanted me to quit but he didn't want to change himself - again, tough sh*t!! It took him 4 years to get over that mood swing.
I truly hope you don't have to deal with anything so severe. Just remember that you have to do what is right for you! Hang in there :hug:

Pie, geez I am sorry you are in such a tough spot with your Dad.
We actually built an addition on to our old house for my parents so I could take care of my Mom. Unfortunately she died less than a year later & I was stuck with my Dad for another 12 years (we were not friends). I hope your situation works out much easier for you.

PQ, hope you are OK!

Peace to all tonight!

**Pie** · February 22, 2016, 09:47 PM

Thanks for sharing that, Lav. A few years ago, I sold my own home and moved in with my parents. They needed the help, and I was looking to downsize/simplify. My mother, with whom I did not have a friendly relationship, died 15 months ago. Shortly after, my dad became hostile and impossible to live with. That's when I bought the condo that I live in now. Historically, my dad & I have had a very good relationship, so the change in him was particularly hurtful. I realize his advancing dementia is magnifying his worst qualities. Fact is, he has no place to go. Going to really need to keep my head screwed on tightly to maneuver this minefield. Good thing I don't drink!

PQ, bouncing some of those positive vibes back in your direction. :hug:

**porqoui** · February 22, 2016, 10:11 PM

Hey Lav doing ok, just feeling a little exhausted with the turmoil at work.
Boss was in a rotten mood today, left about 10 minutes after I got there around 9am
Didn't come back till 1pm and on the way out again at 2pm said oh yeah, we were supposed to talk today.
We'll do it tomorrow, so yet another night of not knowing where he's at. Going to put it out of my mind and try to get a good sleep.
Pi thanks for the positive vibes and sending you strength to deal with all you have going on. When my Dad's dementia worsened the Dr's told me that dementia patients tend to revert back to the fight or flight instincts. Since he was incapable of flight we got the fight. It can be exhausting so take care of yourself.
Pauly, like Lav says, hang in there and know you're doing what's right for you. Although it was tough for my ex to accept the new me the reason I split was because he wouldn't accept he had a problem. Denying the fact that he'd been diagnosed as Bipolar 6 times he would become very unpredictable and physically/mentally abusive. Keep the conversation going as you're both going through changes.
Hope everyone has a peaceful evening.....:smile:PPQP

**kuya** · February 23, 2016, 12:49 AM

You are still early days Pauly but for him you have changed in such a major way.....it scares him.
It is not uncommon for people to stay drinking to simply avoid change, and very common for change to be made when seen through sober eyes. He is kinda right to be scared.

I just get the feeling you love this man and his insecurity is unfounded....he needs to keep hearing it.
It is great that you considered doing something romantic....he will appreciate it.

Pi I hear ya and am starting to wonder why I am jumping through hoops for these guys at all. I am not religious so this is simply a social convention for me. I do think funerals are a chance to say goodbye though. I have been to some brilliant ones here....kiwis are less reverent that the British and will play funny music and tell bawdy jokes. I have told my kids I want to be painted blue and dressed like 'Moma Smurf' ..... I defy anyone not to laugh!

If they want a memorial then they can do it themselves, can't they? Thanks for the thought.

**kuya** · February 23, 2016, 01:18 AM

PQ....your boss's behaviour is unbelieveable. This type of selfish BS is archaic!

I am a boss...I NEVER make my nurse feel abandoned in her job. If I am sad I tell her it is my stuff. If I am angry I tell her when it is NOT to do with her, and if it is to do with her I let her know ASAP so she isn't walking around scared.

I hate when people have issues with others but feel that their work colleagues/ employees are not worthy of being told. How dare they!

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