Q: If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
A: Big hands.
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
Q: What starts with F and ends with U-C-K?
A: Firetruck.
Q: What did the beaver say to the tree?
A: "It's been nice gnawing you!"
Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"
Student: "A drinking problem."
Blonde 1: "What does WTF mean?"
Blonde 2: "What the feck?"
Blonde 1: "Geeze, I'm just asking."
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