mae all how are swe today then?all good I hope...wow yesterday was a looong but enjoyable day.....bit cold and overcast but dry,thats the main thing....the time really flew by..now I dont know what your take on zoos or animal parks is ...but to see some of these beautiful creatures its fantastic.....we cant even protect them in the wild,and its not the first time pics have appeared of some a$$hole posing with a gun over some "game "they have killed...so I take it as it is ..the ones in the parks are safe....from yoomanz...anyways pics at the end....
brew time...here we go....
Det thats brill on the job front matey ...and without trying oo...good for you ....well done buddy...
hiya pauly ..hows you today then?...beefsteak toms?I grow a variety of them called Marmande...they taste really good...theres an idea ..why dont you grow some tomato plants in pots outside ..the bush type ones?best of luck to Kell too..
hiya ns...hows you then?this komboucha idea has picked at my interest....anyone else on here doing it?Im not allowed to eat grapefruit so will look at some alternative to that..it sounds very similar to something we used to do as kids ...ginger beer plants...
hiya pie...how are you today then?thanks for the comments bout the greenhouse...I think some of the work helps to take my mind off the soreness of the dentistry,tho tbh it is getting easier now....till 29th when I go back...yes it is pretty nice outside..in the back garden...,put the fountain on ,rabbits running about ,with the horses and cattle in the fields..yesterday the deer were back.......so yep its good..watching the world go by...this is what I worked all those years for....as for the shower choice ....is there a choice ?false economy maybe?
hiya Sam...well how did the veying job go ? all ok I hope...did you get snow?hopefully you got finished afore you did...
hiya Lav...brew time ..same goes..did you get snow?..or just straight carnage??do you make komboucha too?hope you have a good weekend...when is the greenhouse project starting?
hiya ppqp...glad you are feeling bit better....and best of luck with the lawyers bill..you get back on here if you start getting p.ssed off!!
right peeps have a good weekend.......
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20160318_152036.jpg
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What the job ads really say
Ground floor opportunity - Lousy job with a company that will file bankruptcy within a year.
Progressive company - Employees get to wear jeans every other Friday.
Team player - Must deal with dangerously territorial coworkers with rabid personalities.
Upbeat personalities - Must neither threaten us with any kind of lawsuit nor use the drug alcohol rehab benefit within the first year.
Word processing skills essential - There is a crippling case of carpal tunnel syndrome in your future.
Public Relations Receptionist, Professional appearance important - $20 K a year job that requires a $100K year wardrobe.
Salary range $24K to $32K - The salary is $24K.
Will train - Prior conviction of a felony or two, no problem.
BA required, MA preferred - Must be a MA willing to work for a BA salary.
Civil service - This job was filled from the inside six months ago.
Outstanding benefits package - Health insurance.
Tons of variety - We took all of the heinous tasks no one else would do and rolled them into one job.
Top notch communication skills - Telemarketing.
Beautiful offices in attractive locale - Brand new tacky windowless office where picture frames match the carpet.
Secretary - Woman only job with the responsibilities of management and the wages of a migrant worker.
Executive secretary - The most powerful position in any company.
Dedicated - You're looking at a minimum of 80 hours a week until we force you into early retirement.
Salary commensurate - We'll pay you whatever the we feel like.
Salary negotiable - We'll take the lowest bidder.
Competitive salary - We'll pay you up to 10 percent more than your last job!
Competitive starting salary - Ten cents above minimum wage.
Pleasant atmosphere - A staff of pod people.
Professional atmosphere - Zombie pod people.
Self-starter - Open to very broad interpretation, since no one really knows what this means.
If Columbus had been married he might never have discovered America because of nagging from Mrs Columbus something like what follows below:
* Where are you going?
* With whom?
* Why?
* How are you going?
* To discover what?
* Why you?
* What do I do, when you are not here?
* Can I come with you ?
* Coming back when?
* Will you have dinner at home?
* What will you get for me?
* It seems you deliberately made this...
* Am I right?
* Why?
* Dont lie...
* Why are you making such plans.
* You seem to be making a lot of such plans lately...Why?
* I want to go to my parents' place.
* I want you to come and leave me.
* I don't want to come back...
* I will never come back...
* Why are you not stopping me...
* I don't understand what is this discovery issuer?
* You always do like this...
* Last time also u did the same thing...
* N ow a day's u always seem to do like this...
* I still don't understand what else remains to be discovered in the world.
"I heard you were at the dog show the other day."
"Yes, I was."
"Win any prizes?"
The fellow stormed into the postmaster's office in a fury. "I've been getting threatening letters in the mail for months and I want them stopped."
"Of course," said the postmaster. "Sending threatening letters through the mail is a federal offense. Do you know who's sending them?"
"Yes," shouted the man. "It's those idiots down at the Internal Revenue Service."
partcularily for Lav n Sam...and anyone else that has to file tax returns...
How to Annoy the IRS
Well it's tax time again boys and girls. So cough it up if you haven't already! But no one says you have to go gentle into that dark night. Here are some hints on how to annoy the IRS if you owe them money...
1. Always put staples in the right hand corner. Go ahead and put them down the whole right side. The extractors who remove the mail from the envelopes have to take out any staples on the right side.
2. Never arrange paperwork in the right order, or even facing the right way. Put a few upside down and backwards. That way they have to remove all your staples, rearrange your paperwork and re-staple it (on the leftside).
3. Line the bottom of your envelope with Elmer's glue and let it dry before you put in you forms, so that the automated opener doesn't open it and the extractor has to open it by hand.
4. If you're very unfortunate and have to pay taxes, use a two or three party checks. On top of paying with a three party checks, pay one of the dollars you owe in cash. When an extractor receives cash, no matter how small an amount, he has to take it to a special desk and fill out of few nasty forms.
5. Write a little letter of appreciation. Any letter received has to be read and stamped regardless of what it is or what it's on.
6. Write your letter on something misshapen and unconventional. Like on the back of a burlap sack.
7. When you mail it, mail it in a big envelope (even if its just a single EZ form). Big envelopes have to be torn and sorted differently than regular business size ones. An added bonus to the big envelope is that they take priority over other mail, so the workers can hurry up and deal with your mess.
8. If you send two checks, they'll have to staple your unsightly envelope to your half destroyed form.
9. Always put extra paper clips on your forms. Any foreign fasteners or the like have to be removed and put away.
10. Sign your name in ink on every page. Any signature has to be verified and then date stamped.
A man and his pet moose walk into a bar. It's about 5pm, but they're ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other.
Finally, the bartender says, "Last call."
So, the man says, "One more for me... and one more for my moose."
The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the moose falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave.
The bartender, yells, "Hey buddy, you can't just leave that lyin' there."
To which the man replies, "That's not a lion, that's a moose."
brew time...here we go....
Det thats brill on the job front matey ...and without trying oo...good for you ....well done buddy...
hiya pauly ..hows you today then?...beefsteak toms?I grow a variety of them called Marmande...they taste really good...theres an idea ..why dont you grow some tomato plants in pots outside ..the bush type ones?best of luck to Kell too..
hiya ns...hows you then?this komboucha idea has picked at my interest....anyone else on here doing it?Im not allowed to eat grapefruit so will look at some alternative to that..it sounds very similar to something we used to do as kids ...ginger beer plants...
hiya pie...how are you today then?thanks for the comments bout the greenhouse...I think some of the work helps to take my mind off the soreness of the dentistry,tho tbh it is getting easier now....till 29th when I go back...yes it is pretty nice outside..in the back garden...,put the fountain on ,rabbits running about ,with the horses and cattle in the fields..yesterday the deer were back.......so yep its good..watching the world go by...this is what I worked all those years for....as for the shower choice ....is there a choice ?false economy maybe?
hiya Sam...well how did the veying job go ? all ok I hope...did you get snow?hopefully you got finished afore you did...
hiya Lav...brew time ..same goes..did you get snow?..or just straight carnage??do you make komboucha too?hope you have a good weekend...when is the greenhouse project starting?
hiya ppqp...glad you are feeling bit better....and best of luck with the lawyers bill..you get back on here if you start getting p.ssed off!!
right peeps have a good weekend.......
20160318_130602.jpg
20160318_141906.jpg
20160318_152036.jpg
20160318_155127.jpg
What the job ads really say
Ground floor opportunity - Lousy job with a company that will file bankruptcy within a year.
Progressive company - Employees get to wear jeans every other Friday.
Team player - Must deal with dangerously territorial coworkers with rabid personalities.
Upbeat personalities - Must neither threaten us with any kind of lawsuit nor use the drug alcohol rehab benefit within the first year.
Word processing skills essential - There is a crippling case of carpal tunnel syndrome in your future.
Public Relations Receptionist, Professional appearance important - $20 K a year job that requires a $100K year wardrobe.
Salary range $24K to $32K - The salary is $24K.
Will train - Prior conviction of a felony or two, no problem.
BA required, MA preferred - Must be a MA willing to work for a BA salary.
Civil service - This job was filled from the inside six months ago.
Outstanding benefits package - Health insurance.
Tons of variety - We took all of the heinous tasks no one else would do and rolled them into one job.
Top notch communication skills - Telemarketing.
Beautiful offices in attractive locale - Brand new tacky windowless office where picture frames match the carpet.
Secretary - Woman only job with the responsibilities of management and the wages of a migrant worker.
Executive secretary - The most powerful position in any company.
Dedicated - You're looking at a minimum of 80 hours a week until we force you into early retirement.
Salary commensurate - We'll pay you whatever the we feel like.
Salary negotiable - We'll take the lowest bidder.
Competitive salary - We'll pay you up to 10 percent more than your last job!
Competitive starting salary - Ten cents above minimum wage.
Pleasant atmosphere - A staff of pod people.
Professional atmosphere - Zombie pod people.
Self-starter - Open to very broad interpretation, since no one really knows what this means.
If Columbus had been married he might never have discovered America because of nagging from Mrs Columbus something like what follows below:
* Where are you going?
* With whom?
* Why?
* How are you going?
* To discover what?
* Why you?
* What do I do, when you are not here?
* Can I come with you ?
* Coming back when?
* Will you have dinner at home?
* What will you get for me?
* It seems you deliberately made this...
* Am I right?
* Why?
* Dont lie...
* Why are you making such plans.
* You seem to be making a lot of such plans lately...Why?
* I want to go to my parents' place.
* I want you to come and leave me.
* I don't want to come back...
* I will never come back...
* Why are you not stopping me...
* I don't understand what is this discovery issuer?
* You always do like this...
* Last time also u did the same thing...
* N ow a day's u always seem to do like this...
* I still don't understand what else remains to be discovered in the world.
"I heard you were at the dog show the other day."
"Yes, I was."
"Win any prizes?"
The fellow stormed into the postmaster's office in a fury. "I've been getting threatening letters in the mail for months and I want them stopped."
"Of course," said the postmaster. "Sending threatening letters through the mail is a federal offense. Do you know who's sending them?"
"Yes," shouted the man. "It's those idiots down at the Internal Revenue Service."
partcularily for Lav n Sam...and anyone else that has to file tax returns...
How to Annoy the IRS
Well it's tax time again boys and girls. So cough it up if you haven't already! But no one says you have to go gentle into that dark night. Here are some hints on how to annoy the IRS if you owe them money...
1. Always put staples in the right hand corner. Go ahead and put them down the whole right side. The extractors who remove the mail from the envelopes have to take out any staples on the right side.
2. Never arrange paperwork in the right order, or even facing the right way. Put a few upside down and backwards. That way they have to remove all your staples, rearrange your paperwork and re-staple it (on the leftside).
3. Line the bottom of your envelope with Elmer's glue and let it dry before you put in you forms, so that the automated opener doesn't open it and the extractor has to open it by hand.
4. If you're very unfortunate and have to pay taxes, use a two or three party checks. On top of paying with a three party checks, pay one of the dollars you owe in cash. When an extractor receives cash, no matter how small an amount, he has to take it to a special desk and fill out of few nasty forms.
5. Write a little letter of appreciation. Any letter received has to be read and stamped regardless of what it is or what it's on.
6. Write your letter on something misshapen and unconventional. Like on the back of a burlap sack.
7. When you mail it, mail it in a big envelope (even if its just a single EZ form). Big envelopes have to be torn and sorted differently than regular business size ones. An added bonus to the big envelope is that they take priority over other mail, so the workers can hurry up and deal with your mess.
8. If you send two checks, they'll have to staple your unsightly envelope to your half destroyed form.
9. Always put extra paper clips on your forms. Any foreign fasteners or the like have to be removed and put away.
10. Sign your name in ink on every page. Any signature has to be verified and then date stamped.
A man and his pet moose walk into a bar. It's about 5pm, but they're ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other.
Finally, the bartender says, "Last call."
So, the man says, "One more for me... and one more for my moose."
The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the moose falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave.
The bartender, yells, "Hey buddy, you can't just leave that lyin' there."
To which the man replies, "That's not a lion, that's a moose."
last time we went hubs was talking to an elephant and he extended his trunk so hubs could shake it like a hand,it was cute,I love that memory,chugging down my acv and local honey trying to keep these allergies at bay but I tell you that stuff is sickening but then again this is from a person who chugged a leftover, room temp beer many times so I think I can handle it,Michelle is the one who got a job and needs to pass a drug test not Kell,they're pretty lenient on the marijuana thing surprisingly but she still has to be clean in 2 weeks, hope everyone has a great Saturday
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