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    toozditwennytooth

    morn all ...how are we today then?all good hopefully ...foggy here this morning....just let the wabbitz out so they are running about mad....went up the rescue centre yesterday...there are 2 up there ...its not fair on Sandy at her age to try and introduce another 2,but if it was.............one of them is the dead spit of zeuss....no boogie plant for me yesterday either...trying to locate soil heating cable to make a hot box to germinate seedlings ...can only find it online...dont they have shops any more???
    brew time peeps ..here you all are...

    hiya ppqp...pm d you but ...keep your chin up..little consolation I know,but if poss get it it gone and move on...the only a$$hole making out of this is the brief...we are thinking of you..

    hey pauly ...hows you then?check the length of stride that Kell set up in her fit bit...that will have a masseev impact on the number of steps!!no boogie por moi either...gonna mooch today too...have a good day

    hiya pie hows you then ?all good hows the diy doing?any pix?

    hiya ns hope all is well .....likewise det......

    hi Lav....................SNOW??????????:egad:no thank you nein danke ,non merci,no gracias...yesp we are friends,yep we share ,but on this one I will gracefully bow out!!heres a brew!!have you got a list of jobs for yb??thats what happens here.....and then I kinda do my own thing!! with a bit of the list thrown in.....

    Ive just lost the fred .....and had to redo it...autosave gave me 2 lines!!

    hiya Sam...hows you mate?nope the flint was eyes only..it was lying on the surface ...ound another couple of flints too...detectors dont find rocks...unless they have an iron content ..some of which do have...

    short fred today ....never mind its the quality not the quantity that counts madam....big shout to those missing....

    A Polish immigrant went to apply for a driver’s license. He sent off all the forms and all was fine but he was asked to take an eye test. So off he goes and gets himself an appointment the same day, and sits down in the examining chair. The optician showed him a card with the letters ‘C Z W I N O S T A C Z’ “Can you read this?” the optician asked. “Read it?” the Polish guy replied, “I know the guy.”

    The school bell rang just as little Johnny started eating a Popsicle, and since he didn’t want to waste it, he stuck it in his pants pocket. In the classroom the teacher asked little Vicky what they called people who lived at the North Pole. She said, “Eskimos.” Then teacher asked little Teresa what they called people who live in Mexico. She said, “Mexicans.” The teacher asked Johnny what they called people who live in Europe, and Johnny said, “I don’t know.” Then super smart little Mary behind Johnny said, “European.” Little Johnny’s face turned read and he screamed , “I AM NOT! – My Popsicle is melting!”

    A man wakes up one morning to find a gorilla on his roof. So he does a Google search and, sure enough, there’s an ad for gorilla removers. He calls the number, and the gorilla remover says he’ll be over in 30 minutes. The gorilla remover arrives and gets out of his van. He’s got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull. ‘What are you going to do?’ the home owner asks. ‘I’m going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I’m going to go up there and knock the gorilla off the roof with this baseball bat’. When the gorilla falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The gorilla will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van’. He hands the shotgun to the home owner. ‘What’s the shotgun for’? asks the home owner. ‘If the gorilla knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog’.

    “Have you any two-watt bulbs?”
    “For what?”
    “That’ll do. I’ll take two.”
    “Two what?”
    “I thought you didn’t have any.”
    “Any what?”
    “Yes please.”

    A redneck is driving through the countryside. He looks over at a hill and sees a shepherd having sex with a sheep in broad daylight. He yells, “Hey! Where I come from, we sheer ’em!” The shepherd, without pausing from his activities yells back “Sheer ’em? You can find yer own damn sheep!”

    “Hi Bob, This is Alan next door. I’m sorry buddy, but I have a confession to make to you. I’ve been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you to your face, but I am at least now telling in text as I can’t live with myself a moment longer without you knowing. The truth is, I have been sharing your wife, day and night when you’re not around. In fact, probably more than you, particularly in the mornings after you’ve left for work. I haven’t been getting it at home recently, but that’s no excuse I know. The temptation was just too much…. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincere apologies and forgive me. I promise that it won’t happen again. Regards, Alan.” Bob, anguished and betrayed, immediately went into his bedroom, took out his gun, and without a word, shot his wife twice, killing her instantly. He then returned to the lounge, poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. He took out his phone to reply to his neighbour’s text and saw he had another message. “Hi Bob, This is Alan next door again. Sorry about the slight typo on my last text, I expect you worked it out anyway, but as I’m sure you noticed, my predictive text changed ‘WiFi’ To ‘Wife’. Technology hey?!? Hope you saw the funny side of that. Regards, Alan.”

    Jason, an eighty-eight year old millionaire married a young girl Jane. After a few months, he went to see his doctor and told him that his wife was expecting a baby. Dr. Smith simply said to him, “I want to share a story with you. A guy who was absent minded went hunting. Instead of his gun, he carried a walking stick to the jungle where he was attacked by a lion. He pointed his walking stick at the lion and shot it, killing it instantly.” “But that’s impossible,” said old Jason, “Someone else must have shot the lion.” “Exactly my point, ” said Dr. Smith.
    af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 12

    #2
    Good Tuesday morning Abbers,

    Just sitting here with my coffee watching news of the terrorist attacks in Belgium, how sad.
    Is there really any way to stop this from happening?

    Thanks for the startup Mick!
    Better be careful about bringing more bunnies home or you may find yourself homeless, ha ha!
    No snow today & it's heading up to 50 degrees & even warmer tomorrow, yay!
    I try to nudge YB toward jobs that need to be done around here but I usually get a lot of resistance. I've learned to let it go!

    Greetings to Sam, Pie, PQ, Pauly, NS, Det & anyone stopping by today.
    I'm off to Curves for now. Have a great AF day everyone!

    Lav
    AF since 03/26/09
    NF since 05/19/09
    Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

    Comment


      #3
      Mae everybody, Mick,Bob's poor wife! I think 2 bunnies are good Lav,very sad about these bombings, wasn't there one in Turkey on Sunday? Don'teeven want to watch the news,hope everyone has a great Tuesday
      I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

      I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
      Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

      Comment


        #4
        Morning All, Hard to choose favorite joke today, Mick. Pauly, I agree, poor Bob's wife or Wifi! Who knew spellcheck could be deadly? Waiting to hear from contractor on start date for shower, but will probably be around the first of April. Meantime, occurs to me that anything I'm forgetting, or misjudging, is just an honest mistake, rather than caused by alcohol thinking. Gives me great comfort.

        Mick, I've never heard of a heating cable related to gardening; sounds interesting. Love the nighttime photo of your yard.

        Comment


          #5
          hidy ho from Vegas ABerooos!

          greetings all, having fun with family and enjoying crazy-town AF happy to say.
          Although I did eat a HUGE choc/peanut butter brownie last night

          better be social....

          be well everyone
          nosce te ipsum
          (Know Thyself)

          Comment


            #6
            Det,can you believe this wind?!?! Came home and everything on the patio table is blown off,terrible
            I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

            I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
            Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

            Comment

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