mornin all ...how are we today then?all good hopefully....weather has calmed down a little bit...Katie has gone ..just waiting for the next letter in the alphabet!! got everything cleared up and tidied up yesterday ,built a heater stand for my greenhouse heater...today is a different story.....dentists today at 1 ...another 3 hrs in the chair... oh well....
time for a brew methinks.....
hiya Sam....hows you today then mate?hopefully well....as far as the greenhouse...still slight leaks ..2 places in particular..but they are getting smaller and smaller...its just a case of fine pinpointing..after all water can get where a jock cant and thats saying something.....as for the dentist..todays episode...the 8 temp crowns cut out..and intermediates put in....so what have you got today then?..ps go for the stun gun option!!!!!
hiya Lav..how are you then?all ok ? family all gone then ? back to "normal"?..thats twice Ive used that word in 2 days ....better watch myself!!weather wise here....it has just started sleet/snow!!!!!?here you go a big brew...
hiya pauly ..hows you today then?see the variations we get on this fred ?now where else would you get a discussion on the qualities of lavvy paper!!hope your nail stays on...as for losing the weight....I love my food..especially on holiday....so yep cakes chips ice cream etc do take their toll....Im strugglin to see how your Kell manages all those steps...have a great one ...
hiya pie hows you then?all well I hope..did part of the advice yesterday ....but no cake....how did you get on with the dog search?success?
hiya Eloise ...great to see you on the fred ...where abouts are you now?still in Hollland?thats an interesting one...find out a positive point every day..think at the moment youve got a better chance of finding it in your own day than on the news....jump in more often..oh and any chance of borrowing the sun?
hiya kuya ...hows you today then?all good down under?are you back at work?
hiya det hows you then?hope the cold is shifting.......
big hi to everyone else ..take it easy n have a great day
No one knew he had a dental implant, until it came out in conversation.
“How many cigars do you smoke a day?”
“About ten.”
“What do they cost you?”
“Twenty cents a piece.”
“My, that’s two dollars a day. How long have you been smoking?”
“Thirty years.”
“Two dollars a day for thirty years is a lot of money.”
“Yes, it is.”
“Do you see that office building on the corner?”
“Yes.”
“If you had never smoked in your life you might own that fine building.”
“Do you smoke?”
“No, never did.”
“Do you own that building?”
“No.”
What's slippery when wet? A wet slipper.
I'll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers.
Local girl Joanna Mow leaps to her death on her birthday...
Your middle name wouldn't be Ronny would it Jo?
I took part in my very first spell of fast bowling today.
Nervously, I began from a 30 yard run up, got to the line and swung my arm like Sir Ian Botham in his prime. To my delight, the ball flew from my hand, sending wood flying everywhere.
To my astonishment, I was then escorted from the premises.
Apparently, that's not how you play ten pin bowling.
A little rabbit is happily running through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at her and says, "Giraffe, my friend, Think about what you're doing to yourself! Come with me running through the forest, you'll see, you'll feel so much better!"
The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit.
Then they come across an elephant doing coke. So the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about what you're doing to yourself! Come running with us through the pretty forest, you'll see, you'll feel so good!"
The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and all, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe.
The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up. "Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about what you're doing to yourself! Come running with us through the sunny forest, you will feel so good!"
The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and starts to beat the crap out of the little rabbit. The giraffe and elephant watch in horror, then finally obtain the presence of mind to pull the lion off the rabbit.
"Lion," they reprimand, "why did you do this? He was merely trying to help us all!"
The lion answers, "That little bstard has me running around the forest like an idiot for hours every time he's on ice!"
A guy is driving around and he sees a sign in front of a house:
"Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell, and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador Retriever sitting there.
You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the Lab replies.
"So, what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young, and I wanted to help the government; so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running." "But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I wanted to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten dollars."
The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"
"Because he's a liar. He didn't do any of that shit."
Yesterday at a job interview I filled my glass of water until it overflowed a little.
"Nervous?" asked the interviewer
I replied, "No, I always give 110%"
I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President, what would be the first thing you would do?'
She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.'
Her parents beamed with pride.
'Wow... what a worthy goal.' I told her. 'But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.'
She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, ' Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?'
I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.'
Her parents still aren't speaking to me.
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."
A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."
"What did you like best about your last job?"
"Sometimes, people had birthdays and there was free cake."
time for a brew methinks.....
hiya Sam....hows you today then mate?hopefully well....as far as the greenhouse...still slight leaks ..2 places in particular..but they are getting smaller and smaller...its just a case of fine pinpointing..after all water can get where a jock cant and thats saying something.....as for the dentist..todays episode...the 8 temp crowns cut out..and intermediates put in....so what have you got today then?..ps go for the stun gun option!!!!!
hiya Lav..how are you then?all ok ? family all gone then ? back to "normal"?..thats twice Ive used that word in 2 days ....better watch myself!!weather wise here....it has just started sleet/snow!!!!!?here you go a big brew...
hiya pauly ..hows you today then?see the variations we get on this fred ?now where else would you get a discussion on the qualities of lavvy paper!!hope your nail stays on...as for losing the weight....I love my food..especially on holiday....so yep cakes chips ice cream etc do take their toll....Im strugglin to see how your Kell manages all those steps...have a great one ...
hiya pie hows you then?all well I hope..did part of the advice yesterday ....but no cake....how did you get on with the dog search?success?
hiya Eloise ...great to see you on the fred ...where abouts are you now?still in Hollland?thats an interesting one...find out a positive point every day..think at the moment youve got a better chance of finding it in your own day than on the news....jump in more often..oh and any chance of borrowing the sun?
hiya kuya ...hows you today then?all good down under?are you back at work?
hiya det hows you then?hope the cold is shifting.......
big hi to everyone else ..take it easy n have a great day
No one knew he had a dental implant, until it came out in conversation.
“How many cigars do you smoke a day?”
“About ten.”
“What do they cost you?”
“Twenty cents a piece.”
“My, that’s two dollars a day. How long have you been smoking?”
“Thirty years.”
“Two dollars a day for thirty years is a lot of money.”
“Yes, it is.”
“Do you see that office building on the corner?”
“Yes.”
“If you had never smoked in your life you might own that fine building.”
“Do you smoke?”
“No, never did.”
“Do you own that building?”
“No.”
What's slippery when wet? A wet slipper.
I'll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers.
Local girl Joanna Mow leaps to her death on her birthday...
Your middle name wouldn't be Ronny would it Jo?
I took part in my very first spell of fast bowling today.
Nervously, I began from a 30 yard run up, got to the line and swung my arm like Sir Ian Botham in his prime. To my delight, the ball flew from my hand, sending wood flying everywhere.
To my astonishment, I was then escorted from the premises.
Apparently, that's not how you play ten pin bowling.
A little rabbit is happily running through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at her and says, "Giraffe, my friend, Think about what you're doing to yourself! Come with me running through the forest, you'll see, you'll feel so much better!"
The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit.
Then they come across an elephant doing coke. So the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about what you're doing to yourself! Come running with us through the pretty forest, you'll see, you'll feel so good!"
The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and all, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe.
The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up. "Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about what you're doing to yourself! Come running with us through the sunny forest, you will feel so good!"
The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and starts to beat the crap out of the little rabbit. The giraffe and elephant watch in horror, then finally obtain the presence of mind to pull the lion off the rabbit.
"Lion," they reprimand, "why did you do this? He was merely trying to help us all!"
The lion answers, "That little bstard has me running around the forest like an idiot for hours every time he's on ice!"
A guy is driving around and he sees a sign in front of a house:
"Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell, and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador Retriever sitting there.
You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the Lab replies.
"So, what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young, and I wanted to help the government; so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running." "But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I wanted to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten dollars."
The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"
"Because he's a liar. He didn't do any of that shit."
Yesterday at a job interview I filled my glass of water until it overflowed a little.
"Nervous?" asked the interviewer
I replied, "No, I always give 110%"
I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President, what would be the first thing you would do?'
She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.'
Her parents beamed with pride.
'Wow... what a worthy goal.' I told her. 'But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.'
She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, ' Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?'
I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.'
Her parents still aren't speaking to me.
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."
A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."
"What did you like best about your last job?"
"Sometimes, people had birthdays and there was free cake."
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