Anam Cara AF April

[SnoopyC]

Good morning...

Let's make this a thoughtful month, devoted to being AF, thriving in our lives, and sharing what is good, our struggles, and progress in our journeys.

Lav, say more about how your started on your journey, what planning your did, and maybe how it did not all go smoothly at first. I think it would hlep some who struggle afer they are not successful. I know that's a lot to ask but wit the theme of soul friend this month, I hope it is ok to request.

Dill, know your are busy today and so will look forward to your post tomorrow.

Cyn, wow, you are busy day and night, literally! Hope your dog's feeling better today.

Pauly, come back, come back, I know how it is when you have an episode of drinking, it is so easy to go back once that door is opened. It has happened to all of us, don't give up on this marathon. We need you!

Have a great day all.

[treegirl]

Thanks, Star for getting us going so beautifully - what an inspiring post!

I am wishing everyone a lovely start to our 'thoughtful' month. In my morning's meditation the thought kept coming in to look more deeply at 'lovingkindness' (which starts with loving ourselves.) I think that we did a lot of damage to our self-esteem when we were actively drinking; and the self-loathing fueled even more drinking. Even living AF, we could probably check in with ourselves more often to see if we are treating ourselves with love and respect. Star, do you have experience with the Lovingkindness meditation? I will be getting to that approach probably within this month, so I'll report in on that.

Sending lots of good energy to the warriors on this thread and elsewhere ---

[Lavande]

Greeting friends. Happy April

Awaiting April showers & even thunderstorms right now. The month is starting off with a bang.

Thanks for the startup Star.
I'll try to explain myself a little more tomorrow. Right now I am prepping dinner for daughter & family.

Cyn, I have to agree about damaging our self-esteem. Mine was already battered & I ended up seriously anxious & depressed. The wine was the end all I think. I hated what I was doing but had no lifeline & just coudn't seem to help myself.
That's all history now, I'm only moving forward now

Hello to Dill & our girl pauly! Check in when you can ladies

Have a great AF day.

Lav

[paulywogg]

Morning friends, I just want so much to be a better person but Ijust don't know how,yes self loathing and absolutely scared,hating myself, how do I pick up the pieces again? Its so hard to stop once I've started again, hope all are well

[dill]

Hello friends,
Star, thanks so much for the thoughtful start to April.

Lav, yes this week has been very tiring but the time with the grandkids has been. special. Spring break ends Sunday so we'll be back to "normal" this week.

Cyn, hope your dog is much better! I could relate to you saying you almost fell asleep at the sink! I'm feeling that kind of tired right now myself!

Pauly, you are a good person! Don't beat yourself up. It's unproductive and just keeps you in the vicious cycle. I understand the fear. I've been there, believe me. Just get back on the wagon. In a few days time that fear will dissipate. I promise.

Sorry for such a short post. I'm just wiped out! Let's all have a good, AF April.

[treegirl]

Good morning all -

Dill - so sorry you are so weary- I can't imagine taking care of the grandkids all that time! Glad to hear that your life will be your own once more after Sunday. I'm sending you special wishes for some self-time today.

Lav - you and Dill have such lucky families, having you matriarchs keeping all the balls in the air! Thanks for your note about self-esteem. I think it is an on-going 'exercise' to make sure that we are loving ourselves Big Time.

Pauly - Thanks so much for your post. We all know what you are talking about, and have been there. You can do this! ODAT! Do you have the MWO CDs? They have helped a lot of people... Sending you lots of healing light -

Star - I hope that you are feeling better today, and can get some rest. You said you had a busy weekend, but I hope you can grab some time for yourself.

I needed a break yesterday from the computer, so I went out and did some more bushwacking. I'm trying to get the last of the ancient honeysuckle bushes taken down from our front area. Last year I found an original post-fence there; it was completely covered by the honeysuckle, barberry, wild grape vines and bittersweet vines. I'm hacking away at it; today I'll work some more, but I'm going to take Before and After shots so that I can celebrate my accomplishments.

BTW, I read an article that said that listening to your own voice being happy (like watching old family movies, etc) is a big boost to your spirits. I found a recording app on my phone, so the next time I'm happy I'm going to make a video or recording so that I can play it back!!

Wishing all a great AF Saturday --

[dill]

Interesting concept Cyn, listening to your own voice being happy. I wonder if it works. I know that I wish I had recorded laughter of my parents parents and siblings years ago. I remember one time while on a visit with my parents I wasn't feeling up to par so I went and had a lie down. I remember being in the next room from all of them and hearing their laughter thru the wall and I was conscious of how precious it was and how I would one day miss that sound.

Star, Lav and Pauly:hug:, greetings. Let's all have a peaceful, AF evening.

[Lavande]

Good evening frineds!

This whole day got away from me, geez! I did get a lot done though

Pauly, I really wish I still had the MWO CDs, I would send them to you. I loaned them to another MWO member years ago & never heard from her after I sent them. The 'Clearing' CD was my favorite, I think I used it every night for a good year. You need something to convince your subconscious that you are a good person & you deserve better. You can break the pattern of relapsing, lots of us have. Once I understood & accepted that I had no power over AL the struggle was over. One drink could very well lead me back to where I was & I absolutely refuse to go there ever again. I know you can do it too!

Hello to Dill, Cyn & Star. I see everyone has been pretty busy & that's a good thing

Peace to all tonight!

Lav

[SnoopyC]

Good morning...

Up early and planning my day already. I took a day off yesterday, after my family left, I cleaned up, started laundry, and just relaxed, read, and watched HGTV till late afternoon. I needed to do that, what with being sick all week, super busy, and then overnight guests on Friday. Today a friend is coming in the evening and spending a few nights. We are going to hang out tomorrow, (I took the day off) and do as we please. When I moved, she would not help me, was upset and angry, and it put a damper on our friendship. I just couldn't deal with it, I had enough to do without taking care of her feelings. So, now we are in a better place, I hope, and can have a good visit. We'll see.

Pauly, hope you are in a better place today. Feel free to post as much as you need to, we are here for you. We have all messed up, it is hard to start over, but to me, even harder not to. Drinking is a terrible place to be, for me at least. Striving and trying again is hard but so worth it. Anything I have ever learned to do took lots of practice, including being AF.

Lav, hope you are having a great weekend. I heard you say that once you made up your plan to be AF, you also made up your mind that you have NO control over alcohol, if you have one glass of wine, game over for that night. So, you cleaned out your house of booze, bought the CDs, (supplements?) and did ODAT. For you. Not for YB, kids, or anyone else. For you.

Cyn, I did take my Saturday mostly for myself. It was something I needed, even though I felt a little guilty. Then around 2 I cleaned the house, took me an hour, then later made dinner. But, alot of resting, reading, relaxing. Today not so much, but that is OK. We had horrendous winds here yesterday, it was crazy, some people lost power, basketball hoops fell over, it was a real springlike day.

Dill, one day of grandson and I was achy and exhausted, but he is still at that age where you have to pick him up and run after him. It was so fun, love him, but I can't do it for long!!

Let's all have the best Sunday, AF.

[Lavande]

Good Sunday morning friends!

Lost power overnight due to high winds but it's back on now so I am enjoying some coffee.
Spring temp of 34 degrees this morning ~ crazy!!

Star, glad you rested yourself, we all need that from time to time.
I hope you & your friend have a nice visit. It is hard losing old friends at this age. It is nearly impossible to make new ones I'm afraid.
You have a good memory re my plan. I actually did not use the MWO supplements because I have so many sensitivities so I used my own. One big thing I did, even before finding MWO was working an online program to rid myself of negative thinking!!! That was a habit I unknowingly picked up from YB over the years. I was always a positive & hopeful person & always strived to work hard to achieve my goals. I kind of hit the wall with him somewhere over the years & lost my way. One big thing I found was that bad habits (negative thinking) are learned behaviors so they can be unlearned. It takes 28 days to learn a new habit, it can be done!

Pauly, I used to talk a lot about the positive messages I receive daily from the DailyOm & still do. Sign up for their free messages, you get one emailed every day.
Today they are also offering an online course where you receive 365 days of affirmations from angels. It's a pay what you want deal which is cool. I have done several of their courses over the years. Take a look: http://www.dailyom.com/cgi-bin/cours...ew.cgi?cid=327

Hello to Dill & Cyn, hope you girls have a good day too

I hope the power stays on, I have lots of things I would like to do today that all require electricity, ha ha! Have a great day everyone!

Lav

[SnoopyC]

Good morning...

I'm off work today and looking forward to a fun filled day. My friend came last night and we are good, I am very grateful. It wa a huge adjustment when I moved, like everyone else she has her own problems to deal with. So, today I am going to have fun, and hang out. The wether ysterday was freezing cold when I woke up, but then got into the low 60s by 4 pm, so I was able to walk. I slept like a rock, ha!

Lav, your program for AFness was truly holistic: mind, body, emotions, spirit. I can see where someone else's constant, ongoing negativity could infiltrate your mind and feelings, and a concerted effort made to purge yourself of that attitude and mindset. I think alcohol, negativity, depression all go together. Yuck. Roberta Jewell's book outlined the same type of plan, she knew the behaviors, thoughts, feelings, plus biology were all connected and just using willpower wouldn't work. I found it interesting that at the end of the day the moderation plan was not for her, but abstinence.

Hello to Dill, Pauly, and Cyn, Have a great Monday.

[Lavande]

Good morning friends,

Back to cold temps here as well & still no cable for internet, tv & phone. I'm getting by using a borrowed portable my fi & my iPad

Glad everything is OK with your friend Star. Enjoy your day together!

Whatever you have read about empaths applies to me. I tend to pick up & absorb people's feelings, good & bad. It can be very difficult to walk into a room & just feel bombarded by all the energy. I find it difficult to sort out ownership of difficult feelings - if that makes any sense. It explains why I took on YB's problems as my own when they really didn't belong to me. The funny thing is I knew, as a young nurse, that I should never attempt to work with psych patients. I would have been paralyzed with emotions, ha ha!!

Hello to Dill, Cyn & Pauly. I hope everyone is OK & has a great AF day.

Lav

[treegirl]

Morning all -

High winds and snow here yesterday; it left us with a lot to deal with, but at least no trees fell on the house and the power stayed on, remarkably!

I've kept a 'diary' of all thewebsites and ideas that everyone has brought to the table over the years. What a wealth of resources! I think 'Habit Busting' and the Daily Om have been two of the best, Lav. I'm surprised that you could be a nurse at all as an empath -- that must have taken some training. It's interesting to me that you have learned the skills to handle other people's emotions... I tend to just stay away from people! But shielding is a good tool... Star, so glad you are having a good time with your friend.

More snow here right now; so grateful to have power. Big work day for me, so I'll get to it.

Greetings Dill and Pauly!

[dill]

Hello all,

I read an article a while back that was about a study showing that living with a chronically depressed person causes the healthy people to become depressed too. I know for myself that I am very affected by the moods of the people around me.

Lav, I too wish I still had my MWO CD's. I lent them to a friend and never got them back. I even asked about them but the friend had lost track of them in a move. I won't spend the money to buy them again, but like you, I found them very helpful.

Cyn, that was smart of you to keep a folder with all the helpful links we have shared over the years. I wish I had done that. You are one smart cookie! We had that horrible wind too. It was the day before yesterday. My tulips had just opened up when that cold, bitter wind came along and blew them around mercilessly! I thought that was the end of them but amazingly, by the end of the day yesterday they stood themselves right back up! Mother Nature is wondrous!

Star, I wasn't surprised that RJ decided moderation was not for her. I think that most of us, once we reach the point that we realize we have a problem with controlling our drinking, are well past being able to moderate. Moderating would simply be a full time job, and would take far more effort than just letting it go. I know it's impossible for me. One drink and I'm off to the races! The business of admitting we are powerless is not a problem to me. I look at it the opposite way. I do have power over alcohol....by not taking that first drink!

Hi Pauly, hope to see you soon.

Let's all have a lovely af Monday.

[SnoopyC]

Good morning...

Well it is freezing here too! Freeze warning, whatever the heck that is. So back out with the sweaters and winter coat. We shopped yesterday for a long time, I bought some things for spring, not wearing those today!

Lav, sometimes I take on others feelings too and it is not a good thing. Sometimes I am able to shield myself but it takes work. Hoep your week is going well.

Cyn, sorry about the back to winter weather, what do they say, "April is the cruelest month." Stay warm and eat soup.

Dill, I love that phrase, "one drink and I'm off to the races," how true, and that is the difference, most people will have none or one. I am the same with donuts and totally stay away from them too.

Pauly, hope you are alright.

Have a great Tuesday.