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    #91
    Morning friends,yesterday was going really great and then in the afternoon I got hit with my old "friend" anxiety! Just out of the blue over nothing, I wonder if I'm in a healing crises?been trying to do better with stuff as far as eating, exercise,rest,I just dunno,its the scariest and dumbest feeling, was up and down all night with it,I won't let it get me down though cuz I know it'll pass,I have a small yard too,mostly dirt but a small garden area,I'd like to fix it up but $$,it would cost a lot to resoil,plant grass,take care of it,would get decrorative rock but I'm sure Louie would be throwing them everywhere, even a concrete slab would be nice,put potted plants around,Kell didn't seem as enthusiastic about the job yesterday, I think her bf is kinda telling her to stay put but she's so miserable there,I'll talk to her later about it, ok deep breaths all day for me,thanks for being here Lav,Star,Dill and Cyn,you ladies make me feel peaceful,hope we all have a great Monday
    I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

    I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
    Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

    Comment


      #92
      Pauly, do you have any Amoryn left? It was the best thing to help me get the anxiety under control. Start with only one/day & see how it goes.
      Anxiety & actual panic attacks became my reality at age 40 when the early menopause symptoms kicked in. I feel for you, I really do. Please just don't drink, it will make everything worse.

      I was outside after dinner doing some planting when I heard turkey gobbling! Yep, apparently there are wild turkeys hanging around in the woods behind my house, ha ha!
      AF since 03/26/09
      NF since 05/19/09
      Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

      Comment


        #93
        Good morning ladies,

        Having a hard time waking up. Stayed up a little later than normal last night reading a book that I felt I had to finish.

        Cyn, my son found a job though a temp agency, started last week. It is not what he hoped for or the field of study he focused on, but it is a job, and he is busy and is doing better. Thanks for asking. My yard is kind of a do it now thing, if we cut down and get rid of all the trees, the neighbors will be right there, so getting a privacy fence and patio right away is also key. I don't care, I want a nice back yard, and would like to plant a few things, make a raised bed. It doesn't have to be on a grand scale. I am just scared to have a bigger house again, more bathrooms than people, two floors, that is not what I want: more room, more work, more expense. We'll see. I don't have to move if I don't want to. I just hate the pressure. Your yard sound great, how much property to do you have? Hope you are getting the warmer weather.

        Lav, I looked up the vitamin site and I always worry about taking large amounts of vitamins, wondering if that is really good for your body. How do you know and how long do you take mega amounts of a vitamin or vitamins? You are a nurse so know more about that than most. Thanks for the info, though. Isn't this weather great?

        Dill, what a beautiful weekend we had. Lovely. I too have to pace myself. I weeded on Sunday and my fingers were swollen and sore. Arthritis acts up when I garden, so I know I don't want to do too much of it. It hurts to badly and I need my fingers to type at work. Seriously. Another beautiful day to look forward to today.

        Hey Pauly, hope your Tuesday is positive.

        Have a good one all, AF.

        Comment


          #94
          Great news Star, about your son! I know it isn't what he would prefer but it is something and that is better than nothing. Hopefully it will be a stepping stone towards the future job he would like to have. It's generally easier to find a job when you are employed than when you are not, IMO. I have been wondering about your son but was reticent to ask, so am glad to have the news! My son is still in school on the GI bill. When he finishes I will be asking you all for your prayers for him to find work too.

          Pauly, I hate that you are dealing with the anxiety issue! I am sure it is part of post withdrawal from alcohol and urge you to stick to your guns. You nailed it when you said, "it'll pass". I know it isn't easy and I am sending positive thoughts your way. Today is the day Kell goes to the new shop for a bit, isn't it? I hope she has a good experience.

          Lav, Do you think Nature's Way is a good enough brand for the b complex? I really don't want to sink a lot of money in supplements. We just have too many other expenses with helping my son so much. We spend quite a bit on clothes and shoes for the kids. They grow so fast! It's scary!

          Cyn, I am doing ok but definitely am feeling the aches and pains today. I won't let it stop me tho. I am like you. I have to keep battling the invasive plants. Even the plant that I have put out by choice have to be battled! LOL. They take over new ground if no one gives them resistance. So I'll keep going, pacing myself and doing gentle stretches to ease my muscle aches. I had a chuckle yesterday when digging out some ferns I uncovered a rock that I hadn't seen in a couple of years and my first thought was of Cyntree! LOL! I seem to think of you a lot when I am in Nature!

          Let's all have a lovely af Tuesday.
          Dill

          Dont forget, you can: start late, start over, be unsure, try and fail AND STILL SUCCEED!

          If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse.

          Comment


            #95
            Morning all -

            I'm having a slow morning here - I'm fighting off HB's bug (bad sore throat) and yes, I pushed too hard the last few days working the 'forest'. Oh well, it gives me pleasure to look out and see what I've done. Now I just have to get the guys to come haul all of this away -- there's a lot.

            Star - congrats to you son! I 'temped' years ago and found some wonderful people to work with. I was often offered a job from the company, so if he finds a 'fit' that may happen to him. As far as land and a house goes, I say stay small!!! My husband wanted 'land' when we bought this house, and we ended up with 3 1/2 acres. A lot of it is woodland, but was not cared for in decades. Too many old, diseased trees, too many invasives, too many dead leaves, just too much of everything. And I'm just talking about dealing with the perimeter that edges the lawn! I also wish our house were smaller. We have downsized, but still have too much stuff. You know how hard it is to get rid of things!! So there's my opinion, ha! There are a lot of great books/blogs out there now about gardening (flowers and food) in small spaces - I have a raised bed garden, but have never planted anything there. I put things out on our deck where the best sun is, and it's great. Good luck with your house decisions -- we took out a home equity loan to deal with our tree expenses. Cheaper than paying points on a new mortgage.

            Pauly - so sorry for the anxiety. We used to talk a lot on this thread about going 'around the dark side of the moon' - meaning that you are still moving forward and on your pathway, it just gets dark some of the time, and that's normal - you'll come back into the light soon. Maybe that thought can help? I agree with Dill, you hit it on the head; 'this too shall pass'. Good luck to your daughter - I hope she has a great experience.

            Lav - thanks for the reality check with dogs and other beings in the house! Sometimes I think there's something wrong with me that I can't get everything done on my to-do list. But it is what it is, right?

            Wishing all a great AF day, with a 16 second memory in it somewhere. I have had a few of them in the past few days - the moon at night, the slanting gold morning sun on the rocks...

            Comment


              #96
              Dill - meant to say 'thanks' for thinking of me when you uncover your rocks! That's funny! Bless you for helping your son with so much economic support and care of the kids. He is lucky to have you, but it's great that he is working on his degree.

              Lav - how is your daughter coping with this semester working on her Master's? Stressed?!

              Cheers all -

              Comment


                #97
                Good Tuesday morning friends

                Looking forward to another day of very decent weather. It really feels long overdue, ha ha!

                Star, congrats to your son, glad to hear he is working. I know how hard it is for new grads to get started out in the world. Any work experience is good for his resume.
                Don't stress out over your yard, it's meant to be enjoyed. Have you tried looking for ideas on Pinterest? Honestly, you can find just about anything there. There's a whole world of people with very creative minds sharing their ideas there

                Dill, I have a serious fear of coming in contact with poison ivy so I try to leave the clearing of invasive plants to YB, Lol We have a hedgerow all along the front & down one side of our property - I stay away.

                About the B 12 supplement -
                I decided to try this newer form because I have been dealing with some very specific & annoying symptoms related to brain & nerve tissue. The brain fog has been getting worse as well as the tingling in my hands & feet. B vitamins are essential for optimal functioning & are considered 'water soluble' as opposed to the 'fat soluble' vitamins A, D, E, K. Your body throws off excess water soluble vitamins it doesn't need, think brilliant yellow urine. So there is little chance of overdosing on water soluble vits. Fat soluble vits are stored in our fat cells, where they can build up & become toxic. We are all used to reading the labels on vitamin bottles & seeing the RDAs for each vitamin. The RDAs for vitamins & minerals were set back in the 60's. A lot of research has been done since then, we now know that some/most of us need more to stay healthy. These days you will likely see references to RDIs (recommended daily intake) instead.
                When I was a preschooler I walked the two blocks from home to the doctors office with my grandmother, once each month so she could get her B 12 shot. Even 50-60 years ago it was known that B 12 helps older people stay healthy. I am not interested in getting monthly B 12 shots & any B 12 you get in a multivitamin tablet is destroyed in your stomach. So, this newer sub-linguinal form is ideal. When the little tablet melts under your tongue the B 12 goes directly into your bloodstream, bypassing your stomach acid. That's my story
                By the way - my healthcare practitioner has me taking > 5000 iu of Vitamin D daily because of my osteoporosis & serum blood level was low.

                Hi there Cyn & Pauly! I hope you are both doing well on this beautiful Spring day!
                Cyn, my daughter is stressed out big time, taking finals this week. She will be doing more clinical work after that & finishes in August, yay!

                OK, I have Curves, work & more gardening on my list today. Have a great AF day everyone!

                Lav
                AF since 03/26/09
                NF since 05/19/09
                Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                Comment


                  #98
                  Morning friends, Star,wonderful for your son,not what he wants but good just to have until something else pops up,Cyn,wishing you a speedy recovery, Dill,I'm a rock collector too,anything shaped unusual or interesting colored I have to have,Lav,I have a full bottle of Amoryn still but every time I try it,I get horrible anxiety about one werk in,sucks cuz i want it to work, I refuse to go on a real antidepressant though, maybe that's dumb thinkin on my part,it just doesn't seem like they work that great,I dunno,I'm excited for Kell,I really hope it works out, listen to this:yesterday she walked in for her shift and her manager had the nerve to ask if she had showered! Kells like"yeah,wtf?"and the witch said "oh your hair looks kinda greasy"! I told Kell to walk the F out,that just isn't right! I guess the day before the manager had asked another girl if she just rolled out of bed cuz her hair looked unbrushed, how dare she!? I know this lady pops Xanax all day(she's very open about it) so maybe that messes with her impulse control but I told Kell corporate needs to be told regardless, that's verbal abuse,abuse of power and b.s,the poor girl who she told looked like she rolled out of bed is a 19- year old,fresh out of beauty school, this could make her hate doing hair,no bueno! Alrighty enough of my jabbering,hope we all have a terrific Tuesday hey Dill are you watching "Fear the Walking Dead"?too
                  I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

                  I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
                  Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

                  Comment


                    #99
                    Good morning...

                    Thanks for all the support re: my son working, he is so much happier already, busy and then tired. What a relief. He has his own path to figure out what he wants to do, so good for him. Again, not my problem, working on detachment in a healthy, loving way. I am off the hook for the house: it was a hot mess. Dirty, filthy, beat up, bathrooms with mold, colors from hell, stained carpet, chipped counters, I know now why the house has not sold since the fall. The sellers are foolish, it has a great property, new paint thoughout, new carpet, updated bathroom and kitchen and they could get a good buck for that house. Not for me, though.

                    Cyn, thanks for reinforcing my decision to stay small and manageable. Interesting that your husband wanted land (mine wants a lake) and then is not often home due to work so it is up to you. Sounds like my life. So, I am now focusing on this house, making it nicer as I already have, and being happy with what I have. That is a skill too! Having said that, I still like nature, big trees, etc., My fingers are still swollen from the little bit of weeding I did on Sunday, so I have to work with what I have got. Thanks for your input.

                    Lav, interesting about the B-12 vitamins, I may buy some and see how I feel. It makes sense with what you say, thanks for the info. I wish I could find a practitioner who specializes in women's health and is respectful of other world views besides big Pharma, but no luck. Thanks for the reminder that going small and green is the new in thing to do. I am going to focus on that, and thankfulness.

                    Dill, my son has had more opportunity since his degree, but it is still a struggle to find the right job with the right people, it may take some time. You are so lucky to be so close to your precious grandkids, and I admire you for putting family first.

                    Pauly, your daughter works in a poisonous environment, hope the new place works out for her. Hope the anxiety gets better soon.

                    Have a great Hump Day. AF of course.

                    Comment


                      Good morning friends, happy Hump day!

                      OK, so it's getting near a full moon & you know that means disturbed sleep, ugh. I had a few good nights so that will have to do, ha ha. Stupid moon.

                      Star, managing a smaller property as we get older is ideal. I really don't want to be a slave to house & home & yard for the rest of my days. We are here in this area mostly because YB always wanted the big backyard. It will be 13 years this summer since we moved here & I've heard nothing but complaining from him about grass cutting, etc. I am interested to see if that attitude changes in June when he retires - probably not but you never know. I have become pretty good at 'not hearing him', LOL
                      The finger swelling you have - is that a local (allergic) reaction or arthritic in nature?
                      I used to get a lot of that when I was younger & found out it was due to unbalanced hormones. I haven't had any of that for years, thank goodness.
                      Try Googling 'Women's Health Care Group' for your area/state. You should see listings that could help you find a new practitioner.

                      Hello to Dill, Cyn & Pauly!
                      I hope everyone is OK.

                      Pauly, I hope your daughter makes the move into a new work environment. She has to learn to take care of herself too. I think we 'women' put up with way too much BS at work.

                      Wishing everyone a great AF day!

                      Lav
                      AF since 03/26/09
                      NF since 05/19/09
                      Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                      Comment


                        Morning all - Happy Hump Day! Sounds like everyone is pursuing their path and finding their way -- great.

                        Pauly - so sorry for Kell - I hope she gets out of that place --

                        Lav - how great you have a care-ful heath practitioner -

                        Star - I didn't realize you were going to look at a place! Yes, I think small is beautiful, and we have a lot of influence over what we have and how we feel about it...

                        Dill - hope you will be having a happy day -

                        I'm still fighting this bug off, but hoping to at least plant my pansies and lettuces in containers so that they can start thriving. They're in a holding pattern on the screen porch, with plastic over the windows - my version of a greenhouse.

                        OK, off to get some work done today and to feel better... Happy AF Wednesday all...

                        Comment


                          Hello Af friends,

                          Pauly, yes I do watch Fear TWD but I am not a huge fan as of yet. I thought last season was much better than this season has been so far. The characters are morons for the most part and I can't find one I can identify with so am not very invested in the story yet. How about you? And yes, I love rocks of all sizes, shapes and colors. You'll think this odd but Mr. D's very first gift to me when we were dating was a black rock that he found and cleaned up and coated with wax to highlight the color. I still have it!

                          Star, I envy you your smaller house. This old house of ours is needing too much attention IMO. Mr. D and I both wanted land so when we bought this place the land was actually the greater attraction. The house was a necessary evil! LOL It came with the land, basically. Built in 1870, you can imagine it is not ideal for today's world. High ceilings, stone and brick exterior walls, little closet space, few outlets, etc. I do hire help with cleaning to be honest. I just have no interest in keeping up a house this size anymore!

                          Lav, I appreciated all the valuable info re the B vits. You gave me all the info I never would have found in just general googling. Thanks so much! I hear you on the "brian fog" and I am seriously concerned about my own memory and focus. I am going to try to cut out unnecessary meds that may be bad for my brain. Did you see this talked about on the news yesterday? Cold and flu tablets can SHRINK the brain and slow down thinking | Daily Mail Online Seriously scary. I use diphenhydramine often!

                          Cyn, When I thought of you the other day as I rediscovered my rock and thought of you I joked to myself: Well, it's better that I think of Cyn while uncovering a rock than while turning over a rock!! LOL! Silly I know, but still.... Sorry to hear you are still under the weather, I hope you feel better fast.

                          Let's all have a great AF Hump Day!
                          Dill

                          Dont forget, you can: start late, start over, be unsure, try and fail AND STILL SUCCEED!

                          If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse.

                          Comment


                            Morning friends,Star,I didn't know you were looking for another house either,just browsing? You guys ever watch that little houses show? I asked hubs if it was just us if he thinks he could handle such a tiny space,he said yeah but I think I'd get claustrophobic and what if we had an argument, there's no bedroom to run off to,well maybe a loft but no door to slam haha,Kell,said the job went good but she's still nervous about quitting, the shop she's at is busy so she has steady income but I told her that manager is gonna drive her to the funny farm,Lav,I think the moon is destroying my sleep,I got up at least 3 times last night,I was soooo tired I was laying here watching"Forensic files" and was too exhausted to put wrinkle stuff on,Dill,I'm diggin Fear TWD,very curious to see where they'll end up,this weeks episode was sad a lot of WD fans aren't into it but I think it has to just be watched and not compared to the original,Cyn,hope you feel better,I still say this year has been the worst for sickness, we've never been so sick as a family like this,I've started spraying everything with that clorox cleaner stuff,hope everyone has a great Wednesday
                            I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

                            I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
                            Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

                            Comment


                              Pauly, you are probably right that I am frustrated by the Fear characters acting so clueless about their circumstances simply because I am so many years down the zombie apocalypse road having started years ago with the WD. LOL! I agree with you that I should just watch it and not compare. Of the characters in FTWD, do you have a favorite? I started out being a Nick fan but this year I am not so much. I think he was one of my favorites last year because I related to the struggle he was having in dealing with an addiction. Imagine dealing with a zombie apocalypse at the same time! Ha!
                              Dill

                              Dont forget, you can: start late, start over, be unsure, try and fail AND STILL SUCCEED!

                              If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse.

                              Comment


                                Dill,I like the older Hispanic man,he seems like a survivor to me
                                I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

                                I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
                                Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

                                Comment

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