I have told me sisters about my decision and I made a conscious decision to just tell them as it comes out in time - instead of making a call specifically to let them know. Dad called this afternoon and I told him about my decision. He said I sounded... "Breezy" and I thought of our Breez here and laughed and told him I felt breezy.
I told him about my blackouts and he agrees that is a really bad sign. Mum and dad know my internal struggles and my questioning of whether I have a problem with alcohol, I've had over the past 5 years or so.
So I was telling my dad about it and exlained that it doesn't need to be a big issue but that it is obviously quite a life and social altering adjustment. When we have family dinners, there is always alcohol involved and dad and I particularly have enjoyed pushing the envelope (eg sharing a few bottles of red together and alaysing the meaning of life or just having a really funny time etc). Then out of the blue I burst into tears and couldn't stop crying for about half an hour after getting off the phone! I ended up with a massive headache and went to bed for a few hours and crashed.
I think I am dealing with some grief here! I mean I am really happy but I also know this is a massive adjustment and shift and I'm not sure of how this tee-totalling lifestyle will affect me and my social structures etc seeing as I have previously placed alcohol on such a high position of importance on my agenda. Can anyone relate to what I am saying?
I know this is not going to kill me, and it's just a shift and something that I will adjust to in time. The grief just kind of came out of the blue and I was not expecting it.
I suppose just need to remind myself of our slogan here, keeping it simple and take each day as it comes.
Scoobs
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