Optimistic October - AF

[treegirl]

Hi all - I see that I never actually logged out after last time - in too big a hurry, I guess!

Good to see everyone -

Star - happy grandparents day. I was thinking recently how different life is for you this autumn instead of the fall when you moved to this new city - you were in an apartment and really struggling to be happy. Congrats for staying with it and reaping the rewards of being close to your gson!

Dill - do you have the gkids this weekend? Seems like you maybe should gparent's day off! All my gardens are in sad shape, and all the work that I did early on is gone from the land that I was working. Ah well - there's always next year, right? Glad that you got out in the boat one last time. It was warm enough this evening for a paddleboard paddle, but I had too many errands to run, and was too tired to load up the car! I'll walk by the water tomorrow if I can...

Lav - I meant to say how wonderful it was that your Mom was a nurse, then you, now your daughter going into a healing profession. Lots of great healers in the Lav line!

Pauly - the slippers sound cute - good for you. I know how this crazy weather is - it even was warm here today. But plenty cool tonight, and since I'm too stubborn to turn on the heat so far, it will be nippy in the morning.

Wishing all a great AF night and happy start to Friday --

[SnoopyC]

Good morning...

Cyn, I don't think it is Grandparent's Day officially, just at my grandson's day care, where he is the cutest little guy around! So looking forward to seeing him then taking our daughter out to lunch. I love the town she lives in, it is so cute! Our yards are kind of like us, if we don't take constant care of them, they get out of control! I agree, take care of it next year. Anything interesting going on in your world? Trips planned or entertaining to do? I am going to visit old friends next weekend, invited to a bonfire, so ordered new luggage that is really pretty. It will be fun, and brief, but so nice to see old friends.

Lav, glad to hear you have lots to keep YB busy, it seems his retirement is working out ok? I love this fall, the warmer weather is enjoyable, makes things easier. Do you remember that one year when there was hurricane after hurricane? It was awful and very scary. I do believe in global warming, and know that with more and more people we are stressing the earth with all our needs. We take and take, when do we give back?

Dill, glad you went out on the lake, how beautiful it must have been. It is hard to see friends regularly if you are not out on a daily basis. I think when young it is all about being at school, neighborhood, activities.

Pauly, hope you are doing well, glad it is Friday.

Have a great AF day.

[dill]

Hello friends, just a quick check in for me today. Lots to do! Did I mention that Mr. D and I are going on a road trip next week? We'll be gone for several days, up to northern Minnesota to pick up our new Scamp (trailer). Mr. D's sister will be here house sitting and taking care of Tessa which is just lovely of her!

Pauly, I am really enjoying the T. MacMillan book. Thanks for the tip! Cyn, Lav, Star, greetings. Let's all have a fabulous AF Friday.

[paulywogg]

Morning friends, laying here tired and sore,the dentist asked me that since I'd already be numb on that side should he go ahead and pull the wisdom tooth out and I said sure so here I am,I didn't think it'd be bad cuz the last one I didn't have any pain at all,this one, meh,Advil is working ok though so that's a good thing, I keep trying to get into that three principles stuff and for some reason it's over my head! I know I need to change my thinking but I feel like a village idiot reading about it and watching the videos, I've got nothing to do today so I'll keep trying haha,hello to all and I hope we all have a great day

[Lavande]

Good evening friends!

I hope everyone had a nice day!
I had a hard night with the big dog, she had me up from 2:30 - 4:30 am, ugh. Finally fell back to sleep just about when it was time to get up. So, I spent the morning doing basically nothing, ha ha.
Got my energy back this afternoon & went out with hedge clippers & bushwhacked the overgrown shrubs out front. Felt kinda therapeutic!!! At least I can see the front of my house & the front door again

Star, I hope you enjoyed your day with your daughter & grandson, sounds nice!

Dill, good luck on your road trip next week. I'll bet you are excited to get your trailer
Speaking of trailers, Papmom is on FB posting pics of her trip to Bar Harbor, Maine in her new camper. She's very happy!

Pauly, one important thing to remember when making any changes is you have to believe in yourself.
Use the old 'fake it until you make it' thing! Believe that you already are the person you want to become!
I know that you can do whatever you want to do so prove me right!!

Cyn, I thought about you a few times today while I was terrorizing the shrubs today, ha ha!
Nothing seems to look right this time of year. The leaves haven't turned color yet, the grass is still pretty green & the weed overgrowth is out of control. Makes me want to hire some help around here, ugh. I really hope my daughter passes her test on the first try, it was tough!

Wishing everyone a peaceful night!

Lav

[SnoopyC]

Good morning...

I had a great day yesterday, I love Grandparent's Day at the daycare. The ride down there was gorgeous, the leaves are just starting to change, warm, and then fun with the little toddlers. We took our daughter out for lunch, then came home and took a nap. It doesn't get better then that, not at my age. It was interesting though, about dinner time, I felt irritable and wondered if it was a craving, or just wanting to fill that empty feeling we all get. Recognizing it and then focusing on gratitude got me through it.

Pauly, I thought of that when I read your post of having a hard time feeling OK. I think getting a tooth pulled is a shock to your system, and rest, self care, and time are needed. Of course you feel unsettled, plus with the family issues that have been going on, you have done well. To me, the three principles just mean focus on the thoughts that make you feel positive, let the other ones be noticed, then let them float away. We get to choose what we focus on. I hope that makes sense. Hope you feel better today.

Dill, how fun to be able to travel more. Fun. I bet Minnesota is just beautiful right now. Have a great trip.

Lav, jeez, your poor dog and how hard to be up half the night. Hope things were better last night. I miss our big yard, but not the work. Just the thought of it makes me grateful for the little scrap of yard we have right now.

Cyn, it is amazing how different my life is now. I often take time to feel grateful for all the positive changes. My job is different and better, living close to family again after losing my mom and then my dad, being a grandparent, lots of changes and they are all good. Being AF and focusing on that is now my main focus for the next year or so, I want to be firm in this, let my body heal, and maintain my sobriety no matter what social situation I am in. I have a wedding this weekend, and I want to go to an old friend's party, where I know there will be drinking. Having said that, not everyone drinks, and I don't have to. I won't and I am firm in staying AF. I am trying to meditate more and do yoga at least a few times a week too, so making changes and practicing what is good for me. I know you are too.

Have a lovely Saturday, AF.

[treegirl]

Hi all - happy Saturday (Saturn's Day!)

Sorry to miss posting yesterday - I had a tough one. I woke up with a killer headache, nausea, body aches. The only consolation was that it didn't come from drinking! I'm not sure what happened, except that maybe it was a combination of dehydration and long hours spent bending forward over my work for a client. I am transferring over 1,000 CDs to 3 ring CD notebooks, and it is a demon project - I've worked to 11:30 at night several nights in a row. I had to take it all to my house to work on, as practically no CDs are in their correct jackets. I had to take everything out, categorize it, alphabetize it and now get it into the holders. Still not done, but just have one big category to go. Last night I got smart and put up the ironing board at it's highest level as a 'sorting' table; I think that helped.

Dill - you are getting your Scamp!! I'm SO jealous. I wish I had the towing capacity in my car - I would save my pennies for that! Enjoy MN - I think it will be beautiful right now. I am researching a light-weight pop-up camper that HB saw on FB. A friend posted pics of fall camping in Canada; it looked great.

Lav - I sent good wishes for your daughter and the exam. When will she find out? I get how 'bush-whacking' is therapeutic! I am still proud of taking out all of those old shrubs on the front of our property - I love looking out on the clearing.

Star - sounds like you have a great plan - so nice to visit friends. My trip to the midwest next week will also be short, and bittersweet since I will be saying goodbye to my aunt in hospice. But I will be seeing my wonderful niece and her fabulous 3 girls, my brother and sister, so that will be a perk. Enjoy your new luggage!

Pauly - I haven't looked at the 3 Principles thread. I'm sure it's very worthy and has great info, but sometimes I just need to concentrate on the simple daily things or I get off track. (Like, stay hydrated Treegirl!! Duh!) Good luck with your journey, and treat yourself well as you go.

OK, off to get this house whipped into shape. I'm meeting HB in SD's city for an early BD lunch for her, then he and I will drive back up country. This time he can stay home for 3 days!

Wishing all a lovely AF Day and night.

[treegirl]

X-post Star!

[paulywogg]

Morning friends, Cyn that job sounds like a pain! Who even still has so many CD's? 3 ps is just over my head,yesterday I was home alone all day and I decided to watch a speaker with my earbuds in and after 30 minutes I dozed off but maybe it seeped in my subconscious mind haha,Star,I know exactly that feeling of irritability you felt in the afternoon, I think it's cuz you have a high level of happiness while at grandparents day,thenlater on feel sorta meh,I know when we're having tons of fun after its over I feel sorta sad or empty either that or it was the nap,those sometimes make me a grump too,Dill,I'm excited for your trip Lav,glad Papmom is doing well don't feel like going to work but don't feel like staying home either, yesterday was too isolating and I felt kinda weird, not restless-too sore for that but a tad lonely and got brain foggy, I rented a dumb movie from Red box "How to be single"(boring) put up Halloween decs(fun) cleaned a bit but today I need to be around people! Hope everyone has a nice AF Saturday

[Lavande]

Good evening friends,

More family drama today, not that we need any more
Our daughter fell on her steps & fractured 3 bones in her foot, ouch! She was home alone with Lily at the time who couldn't reach her mom's cell phone. Smart kid though, she brought her mom the ipad & my daughter texted me. We were able to get our SIL on the phone & tell him to get right home, oh boy! So daughter is back home from the hospital with a splint on, no weight bearing & will see the orthopedic guy on Monday. Never a dull moment, I feel sorry for her. I am not sure how she is going to manage everything, we will work out something.

Star, so glad you enjoyed your day out yesterday. Sounds like a perfect day Have fun at the wedding & party, who needs AL??

Cyn, I sure hope you are feeling better soon! I hope you haven't been exposed to the flu virus or anything, take care! I hope you are 100% for your trip next week.

Pauly, I spent my life at work wishing I was at home & vice versa. I think that's the nature of the beast (of being human). I hope you are feeling much better too.

We did run out to our Amish guy's store (before all hell broke loose today) & got some pretty potted mums & a couple of little pumpkins. Grateful for that!

Hello to Dill!

OK, back to checking on my daughter via text message.
Have a peaceful night everyone!

Lav

[paulywogg]

Oh Lav that's terrible! I hope she heals fast and isn't in too much pain poor thing

[SnoopyC]

Good morning...

Lav so sorry to hear your daughter fell. Great you can be there for her. Hope the rest of the weekend is more peaceful. That is my fear when I fall, that I will break something. Will she get crutches? Hope she took the test already, enough stress for her. The weather here has cooled off, 40s at night, highs only in the 60s again today. Are you affected by the hurricane? Hope not.

Cyn, so sorry to hear you had a day of illness. What a job, organizing all those CDs. It will be so nice when it is done, alphabetized and all CDs in sleeves or whatever. I wonder with fall coming, if we need to hydrate even more? I struggled with headaches earlier in the week, and noticed I had not drank as much water as normal. I'll bet it is cooler in the NE. Have a lovely time with your husband.

Pauly, yeah, I still get that empty restless feeling around witching time, it is annoying. To be aware of it, and distract myself is how I get through. It passes, like all feelings pass, even the good ones. Hope you are feeling better.

Hi Dill, have a great Sunday.

[dill]

"You are what your deep, driving desire is. As your desire is, so is your will. As your will is, so is your deed. As your deed is, so is your destiny."
- Brihadaranyaka Upanishad

Hello Friends, sorry to miss yesterday but I was kind of having a serious bout of brain fog. I just couldn't think for some reason and it lasted all day. I think I am just feeling overwhelmed a bit by life at the moment. The upcoming trip has me unsettled as well. I am such a creature of habit! Friends keep asking me if I'm getting ready or if I'm packed, etc. and the truth is, I haven't done one thing to get ready. I'm going to have to put it off till the last minute when I absolutely have to focus.

Lav, I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter's fall! How terrible to break a bone. I hope she heals quickly. My SIL had a bike accident a couple of days ago. He badly fractured his elbow and will need surgery to repair it. I feel so badly for him! He didn't need this on top of the emotional trauma of their separation. I don't think he has health insurance either. Like so many healthy young adults who couldn't afford the sky-rocketing premiums he paid the Obamacare tax penalty instead. It infuriates me that the option for a catastrophic insurance plan was taken away with all this affordable care act nonsense. Oh, and I have to pay for PT out of pocket because of my insurance's high deductible. I'm probably not going to be able to have the therapy. I declined the assessment the other day. Too much unplanned expense.

So, sorry to be a downer!

Cyn, well done on the HUGE cd organization job! I have a smaller collection of CD's here and can't keep them organized, so I know what a job that was!

Pauly, I'm not into the three principles. I took a look at it but it just wasn't for me. I tend to need a spiritual connection and altho I can't always feel it, I do keep working at it!

Star, I'm glad you enjoyed grandparent's day. It does sound like the perfect day for someone at your stage in life!

The grandchildren are here this weekend so I haven't been exactly allowed to wallow in my overwhelmed, negative state of mind. Thank goodness for that! Thank goodness for all the sunshine yesterday too. It was the perfect October day which we spent winterizing the boat. The kids enjoyed helping. Gson enjoyed getting wood for us and filling the wood box. He loves the wood stove and the warmth of the fire.

So, really there is much to be grateful for and I think I am climbing up out of my valley today, so will focus on those things that are good.

Happy AF Sunday everyone.

[paulywogg]

Morning friends, Dill,my brain has been foggy too,wonder if it's weather related? Just can't concentrate on anything, I forgot to mention another author I love is Laura Levine I just finished a book by her last night, she's funny and just writes cute books hubs brought Louie home 2 water heater boxes so he could make a fort,he was instantly in love haha,Star,I don't know if that restless feeling ever goes away,I make a dark hot chocolate and it helps(most of the time) groceries already done,went to Wal-Mart which I hate but it was cheaper, hello Lav and Cyn hope everyone has a peaceful Sunday

[treegirl]

Afternoon all -

Lav - what a situation for your daughter, and for you! Your gdaughter is super-smart to think of the iPad, thank goodness. I had to get HB through broken bones in his foot several years ago - 6 weeks non-weight bearing... but the bone he broke was a major one - I'm crossing fingers that your daughter's recovery will be shorter. Sheesh! Life! So glad that you are able to roll with these punches, but you are seriously being tested! Thx for your concern re: flu. I think that I just really was dehydrated and had not treated my body with care... note to self!

Star - For me, those late-afternoon issues are both blood-sugar based and also have to do with hormones (seratonin). I heard recently that only one food can get through the brain barrier directly, and that is turmeric. So when I get irritable or feel low in the afternoon, I take turmeric mixed in a little applesauce. I think it may work - for me that is. It probably can't hurt! Good luck.

Pauly - I think the change of seasons is a very vulnerable time for us -- everything seems extra-emotional to me as well - even the leaves turning here, or seeing a young deer, makes my heart literally have a 'pang'. Maybe it's just being human!

Dill - Don't worry, I have to travel often and I never pack until the last minute. As long as you have a checklist of 'necessaries', you'll be fine! Sorry to hear about your SIL. But I must say, as a self-employed person I've had to endure high-deductible, catastrophic care plans my whole life, and their cost went out the roof years ago. I have never purchased a marketplace ACA plans, so that's not the issue for me - it's the insurance companies that for a long time have been making things impossibly expensive. I have never had my PT (or any other helpful therapy!) be paid for through insurance, so finally made the decision to go with a high-deductible plan with a HSA. I went from a 700/month plan to a 488/month plan, and yes, one prescription went from $5 to $60, but at least I can pay for it with un-taxed HSA money. And the money can be rolled over from year to year. It's the only way I've ever been able to make it work. Good luck!

Speaking of which, I need to finish working on financials here, uuugh. It's always interesting to have 2 free-lance incomes to try to make work!

Wishing everyone patience, a warm heart and a compassionate outlook. Embrace yourselves --