mornin all..howz we today then all good I hope...yep doesnt take a lot of brainpower to see where the rabbit thing is going..pretty good plot I hutched?almost finished the tiling inset in the bathroom,just got to grout it up, hopefully today,Julie has got her interview this aft,so fingers crossed for that one...dentist yesterday..still not finished ...this is all tweaking and "fine adjustment",but paid for it so having it..back next week..
ok brew time it is..
hiya ppqp ,,,how are you today then?hope you are ok...so car is ok?still think it was a bit ott pricewise..anyways job done..hows the weather?you doing ok in it?I bought snow socks for my car,because once it starts here its history trying to get out..
hiya pie ,how are you today then?all good ?yep the 4 hutch thing sounds good for me..got a few people that keep rabbits in large numbers to talk to yet ..they are very territorial...especially females..the males tend to want food and a corner to pee in ....hows the k9krew?
hiya pauly..how are you today then?you feeling any better ?hope so..
hi Lav..hows life in the fast lane?all good I hope...take it you are mowed out for Chrimbo?here ..take time for a brew..
hiya to everyone else..who and wherever you are...have a sound sober day...
A woman takes her 18-year-old daughter to the doctor.
The doctor says, "Okay, Mrs. Jones, what's the problem?"
The mother says, "It's my daughter Darla. She keeps getting these cravings, she's putting on weight, and is sick most mornings."
The doctor gives Darla a good examination, then turns to the mother and says, "Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but your Darla is pregnant - about 4 months, would be my guess."
The mother says, "Pregnant?! She can't be, she has never ever been left alone with a man!
Have you, Darla?"
Darla says, "No mother! I've never even kissed a man!"
The doctor walked over to the window and just stares out of it.
About five minutes pass and finally the mother says, "Is there something wrong out there doctor?"
The doctor replies, "No, not really, it's just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over the hill.
I'll be darned if I'm going to miss it this time!"
My mate works for the Royal Mail, and part of his job is to process all the mail that has illegible addresses. One day last week, a letter came to his desk, addressed in shaky handwriting, to Father Christmas. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. He opened it and it read:
Dear Father Christmas,
I am a 93-year-old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had £100.00 in it, which was all the money I have until my next pension money. In a couple of Sunday's it is Christmas, and I have invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me? I could really do with you delivering anything before Xmas Day.
Sincerely, Edna
My mate was touched so he showed the letter to all of the other workers. Each of them dug into his wallet and came up with a few pounds. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected £96.00, which they put into an envelope and delivered in the post the next day to the woman. He told me all of the workers felt a warm glow for the kind thing they had done. Then a few days ago, another letter came from the old lady, to Father Christmas again. All of the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read:
Dear Father Christmas,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you have done for me? Because of your gift of love, I am now able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. I'm sure we'll all have a very nice day and I've told my friends of your wonderful gift. By the way, there was £4 missing. I think it must have been those fckin' thieving gits at the Royal Mail ...
Sincerely, Edna
I was at a the zoo one day where there was an elephant lying dead in the centre of the compound, with the keeper on his knees in front of the elephant sobbing his heart out, I went over to console him, oh dear I said, were you very close, no says the keeper... I've got to feckin' bury him.
A group of four-year-olds were trying very hard to become accustomed to school. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk!
"You need to use 'Big People' words," she was always reminding them. "John what did you do over the weekend?"
"I went to visit my Nana."
"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use 'Big People' words!" She then asked Mitchell what he had done.
"I took a ride on a choo-choo."
"No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use 'Big People' words," she said. She then asked little Alex what he had done.
"I read a book," he replied.
"That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?"
Alex thought very hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride and said, "Winnie the SHIT.
I was looking at my wife: no teeth in, tits on her belly, hair a mess and smoking cigarette. Then she cocked her leg and let out a massive trump.
"You are a mess and I'm disgusted with you," I said.
"I'm still the woman you love and married," she said. "Sometimes we all let ourselves go a bit."
"We're on our bloody honeymoon," I replied.
A message to the bloke in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket.
You can hide, but you can't run.
A guy is at work when he hears a voice in his head.
Quit your job. Sell your house. Take the money, and go to Las Vegas.
He ignores the voice, but it keeps coming back.
Quit your job. Sell your house. Take the money, and go to Las Vegas.
Months go by, and the voice won't stop.
Quit your job. Sell your house. Take the money, and go to Las Vegas.
Finally the guy can't take it anymore. He quits his job. He sells his house. He takes all the money and buys a plane ticket to Las Vegas.
The second the plane touches down, he hears the voice in his head:
Go to a casino.
He goes to a casino.
Find the roulette table.
He finds the roulette table.
Put everything on 17 Black.
He puts everything on 17 Black. The dealer spins the wheel. It comes up Red 36. The voice in his head says
Damn!
After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.
'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?'
'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today.'
'I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen?' protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.
'Who's going to tell?' says the Pope with a smile.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 kms. (Remember, the Pope is German.)
'Please slow down, Your Holiness!' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.
'Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!' moans the driver.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.
'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 205 kph.
'So bust him,' says the Chief.
'I don't think we want to do that, he's really important,' said the cop.
The Chief exclaimed,' All the more reason!' 'No, I mean really important,' said the cop with a bit of persistence.
The Chief then asked, 'Who do you have there, the mayor?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
Chief: 'A senator?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
Chief: 'The Prime Minister?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
'Well,' said the Chief, 'who is it?'
Cop: 'I think it's God!'
The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, 'What makes you think it's God?'
Cop: 'His chauffeur is the Pope!'
ok brew time it is..
hiya ppqp ,,,how are you today then?hope you are ok...so car is ok?still think it was a bit ott pricewise..anyways job done..hows the weather?you doing ok in it?I bought snow socks for my car,because once it starts here its history trying to get out..
hiya pie ,how are you today then?all good ?yep the 4 hutch thing sounds good for me..got a few people that keep rabbits in large numbers to talk to yet ..they are very territorial...especially females..the males tend to want food and a corner to pee in ....hows the k9krew?
hiya pauly..how are you today then?you feeling any better ?hope so..
hi Lav..hows life in the fast lane?all good I hope...take it you are mowed out for Chrimbo?here ..take time for a brew..
hiya to everyone else..who and wherever you are...have a sound sober day...
A woman takes her 18-year-old daughter to the doctor.
The doctor says, "Okay, Mrs. Jones, what's the problem?"
The mother says, "It's my daughter Darla. She keeps getting these cravings, she's putting on weight, and is sick most mornings."
The doctor gives Darla a good examination, then turns to the mother and says, "Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but your Darla is pregnant - about 4 months, would be my guess."
The mother says, "Pregnant?! She can't be, she has never ever been left alone with a man!
Have you, Darla?"
Darla says, "No mother! I've never even kissed a man!"
The doctor walked over to the window and just stares out of it.
About five minutes pass and finally the mother says, "Is there something wrong out there doctor?"
The doctor replies, "No, not really, it's just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over the hill.
I'll be darned if I'm going to miss it this time!"
My mate works for the Royal Mail, and part of his job is to process all the mail that has illegible addresses. One day last week, a letter came to his desk, addressed in shaky handwriting, to Father Christmas. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. He opened it and it read:
Dear Father Christmas,
I am a 93-year-old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had £100.00 in it, which was all the money I have until my next pension money. In a couple of Sunday's it is Christmas, and I have invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me? I could really do with you delivering anything before Xmas Day.
Sincerely, Edna
My mate was touched so he showed the letter to all of the other workers. Each of them dug into his wallet and came up with a few pounds. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected £96.00, which they put into an envelope and delivered in the post the next day to the woman. He told me all of the workers felt a warm glow for the kind thing they had done. Then a few days ago, another letter came from the old lady, to Father Christmas again. All of the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read:
Dear Father Christmas,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you have done for me? Because of your gift of love, I am now able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. I'm sure we'll all have a very nice day and I've told my friends of your wonderful gift. By the way, there was £4 missing. I think it must have been those fckin' thieving gits at the Royal Mail ...
Sincerely, Edna
I was at a the zoo one day where there was an elephant lying dead in the centre of the compound, with the keeper on his knees in front of the elephant sobbing his heart out, I went over to console him, oh dear I said, were you very close, no says the keeper... I've got to feckin' bury him.
A group of four-year-olds were trying very hard to become accustomed to school. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk!
"You need to use 'Big People' words," she was always reminding them. "John what did you do over the weekend?"
"I went to visit my Nana."
"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use 'Big People' words!" She then asked Mitchell what he had done.
"I took a ride on a choo-choo."
"No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use 'Big People' words," she said. She then asked little Alex what he had done.
"I read a book," he replied.
"That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?"
Alex thought very hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride and said, "Winnie the SHIT.
I was looking at my wife: no teeth in, tits on her belly, hair a mess and smoking cigarette. Then she cocked her leg and let out a massive trump.
"You are a mess and I'm disgusted with you," I said.
"I'm still the woman you love and married," she said. "Sometimes we all let ourselves go a bit."
"We're on our bloody honeymoon," I replied.
A message to the bloke in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket.
You can hide, but you can't run.
A guy is at work when he hears a voice in his head.
Quit your job. Sell your house. Take the money, and go to Las Vegas.
He ignores the voice, but it keeps coming back.
Quit your job. Sell your house. Take the money, and go to Las Vegas.
Months go by, and the voice won't stop.
Quit your job. Sell your house. Take the money, and go to Las Vegas.
Finally the guy can't take it anymore. He quits his job. He sells his house. He takes all the money and buys a plane ticket to Las Vegas.
The second the plane touches down, he hears the voice in his head:
Go to a casino.
He goes to a casino.
Find the roulette table.
He finds the roulette table.
Put everything on 17 Black.
He puts everything on 17 Black. The dealer spins the wheel. It comes up Red 36. The voice in his head says
Damn!
After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.
'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?'
'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today.'
'I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen?' protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.
'Who's going to tell?' says the Pope with a smile.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 kms. (Remember, the Pope is German.)
'Please slow down, Your Holiness!' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.
'Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!' moans the driver.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.
'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 205 kph.
'So bust him,' says the Chief.
'I don't think we want to do that, he's really important,' said the cop.
The Chief exclaimed,' All the more reason!' 'No, I mean really important,' said the cop with a bit of persistence.
The Chief then asked, 'Who do you have there, the mayor?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
Chief: 'A senator?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
Chief: 'The Prime Minister?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
'Well,' said the Chief, 'who is it?'
Cop: 'I think it's God!'
The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, 'What makes you think it's God?'
Cop: 'His chauffeur is the Pope!'
fingers crossed for Julie, I feel better today, yesterday I accidentally took a antidepressant that stuff tried to kill me! I dunno why I even still had that crap around, getting through work was slow, lots of bathroom trips and trying to focus on one spot cuz I was so dizzy,never again, TT,have things toned down a bit? Hope so,PPQP, hope you enjoy the get together, I don't like leaving the house when it's cold and our temps aren't even close to yours!Last night I was making some stroganoff stuff but the smell was grossing me out with the funky tummy so I made fried rice for me and Brady, I just couldn't eat much,anyway, much love to all my friends here and wishing everyone a peaceful AF Day
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